Tag Archives: movie reviews

Feb 22 2015
5 Comments
Movies

Movie Review – Birdman (Or, The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) 2014

Or, Hollywood is Sorry for Pushing Crap on You, But It’s Kind of Your Fault.

In 1989, Michael Keaton starred as the first Batman to not suck.  That role made his career.  I’d argue that it didn’t really define him though.  He’s been in zany comedies and serious dramas, performing expertly in both.

Yet, as a former Batman who’s ditched the cowl to seek out more serious roles, one is left to wonder how much of Birdman is semi-autobiographical.  Does Keaton identify with Riggan?  Only Keaton could truly answer that.

Keaton plays Riggan Thomson, a big time actor who, twenty years ago, played a feathery comic book super hero in a series of Birdman films.  They were special effects extravaganzas that made him a lot of money and were big at the box office.

Movieclips Trailers

Today, Riggan is trying to leave his past behind him and gain recognition as a serious actor.  He’s broke, having sunk a fortune into a Broadway play adaptation of a work by author Raymond Carver.  And true to the style of a play, the cameras follow the actors on and off stage, with very few cut scenes throughout the film.

Actors aren’t as happy as you’d think, there’s intense pressure, you can’t please everyone, and whatever you do, someone is criticizing you.  You try to produce art (i.e. Raymond Carver) but alas, people just want fluff (i.e. Birdman).  Even worse, once you “sell-out” and take a role like “Birdman,” the “true artist” community will shun you and refuse to consider your attempts at artistry, even if they are worthy of notoriety.

As consumers of entertainment, should we push for real, serious, dramatic art?  Plays and movies where there’s all kinds of gut wrenching dialog to make you think?  Or should we just have fun and watch Birdman fight bad guys?

Are purveyors of comic book movies making us all stupid?  Are creators of heady dramas just too full of themselves?

These questions are asked, and never really answered, though the movie serves as a chronicle of one actor’s attempt to produce serious art only to be stymied at every turn.

Riggan’s foil, played by Ed Norton, is veteran broadway thespian Mike Shiner.  Recruited for Riggan’s play, Shiner is a pretentious limelight hog and though he claims to be all about the art, he’s ultimately just as obnoxious as any movie star.

Meanwhile, Riggan has to deal with a snooty play review critic, who vows to shut Riggan’s play down before even seeing it, simply because she does not believe someone who stooped low enough to play a cartoon superhero is deserving of praise for attempting real art.

In other words, if the entertainment world is at war, then it’s a battle between the big blockbuster fluff eaters and the holier than thou tweed jacket wearers.  Both think they’re the smartest people in the room.  Neither is willing to meet the other half way.

Emma Stone, who plays Riggan’s daughter, Sam, earns her Oscar nomination with this speech:

TEXT OF SAM/EMMA STONE’S “RELEVANT SPEECH” FROM BIRDMAN

RIGGAN:  It’s important to me! Alright? Maybe not to you, or your cynical friends whose only ambition is to go viral. But to me . . . To me . . this is — God. This is my career, this is my chance to do some work that actually means something.

SAM: Means something to who? You had a career before the third comic book movie, before people began to forget who was inside the bird costume. You’re doing a play based on a book that was written 60 years ago, for a thousand rich old white people whose only real concern is gonna be where they go to have their cake and coffee when it’s over. And let’s face it, Dad, it’s not for the sake of art. It’s because you want to feel relevant again. Well, there’s a whole world out there where people fight to be relevant every day. And you act like it doesn’t even exist! Things are happening in a place that you willfully ignore, a place that has already forgotten you. I mean, who are you? You hate bloggers. You make fun of Twitter. You don’t even have a Facebook page. You’re the one who doesn’t exist. You’re doing this because you’re scared to death, like the rest of us, that you don’t matter. And you know what? You’re right. You don’t. It’s not important. You’re not important. Get used to it.

I don’t know about you, but after I listened to Emma rant away on that one, I came close to shutting down this blog. (Obviously I didn’t, because, you know, nothing can stop me from my one a day post challenge.

Still, Sam’s right.   We’re all just shouting in the wind, trying to be relevant, trying to matter.  And at the end of the day, after movie goers walk out of the theater, after play watchers go out for cake, after novel readers put a book down, and after my 3.5 regular readers go on to read another blog…how relevant are we?  As it turns out…not very.

Fame is fleeting and celebrities just aren’t as happy as we think.

Throughout the film, Riggan is taunted by Birdman himself – a gravelly voice that sounds more like Christian Bale’s version of Batman than Keaton’s.  Birdman is the voice of commercialism, urging Riggan to abandon his efforts at serious drama and sell-out – do a reality TV show, make a Birdman comeback movie.  Forget the hoity toy stuff and just rake in the dough.

And honestly, whether Birdman is right or wrong is left up to the viewer’s interpretation.

Big surprise of the film – Zach Galifianakis can actually act.  He plays Riggan’s agent and rather than be that same old obliviously rude cartoon character he plays in every movie, he actually comes across as a competent, reliable professional, someone you’d actually want to represent you if you were an actor.

At one point, Shakepeare’s “Life is a Tale Told by an Idiot” speech from MacBeth is prominently featured.  If you want to know more about that, you can read expert commentary from world renowned literary expert Bookshelf Q. Battler.

It’s a film that starts a dialog about what we, the entertainment consuming public, want from Hollywood.  Because, as it turns out, if enough of us want it, they’ll give it to us.  If we show them that high-falutin, chin-stroking, navel gazing, thought provoking dramas will make money, then Tinseltown will send them our way.  Yet, if we keep buying tickets for Birdman-esque blockbusters, then we’ll get more comic book movies.  It really is up to us.

And it’s also up to us to determine whether or not we should feel guilty about choosing comic book-esque movies over drama.  Personally, I don’t.  I’m a nerd.  I love comic book movies.  I love hoity toity stuff too.  There’s room in the world for both.  One need not cancel the other out.

And sure, the public often complains that Hollywood isn’t trying that hard, but then we pay more attention to viral videos, tweets, and gossipy nonsense than serious efforts at art.  At one point in the film, Riggan’s stroll through Times Square in his underpants gets more attention through social media than his play ever does.

We all want to be relevant.  We’re all clawing over each other to grab our piece of the public’s limited attention span.  We’re all idiots.  Can’t we all just calm down, take a deep breathe, stop crawling over each other for a few fleeting minutes of fame, and take a moment to enjoy friends, family, and the things that actually matter?  At the end of the film, Riggan frets more about not spending enough time with his daughter than he does about his fizzling acting career.

Heck, had I not promised my 3.5 regular readers a year’s worth of posts, I might seriously consider packing it in myself.

Because if a guy who was paid buckets of money to dress up like a cartoon bird hero can’t be happy, then what luck do any of us have?

I predict this film will win best picture.  Keaton’s had a long career and has yet to be graced with an academy award, so he’s overdue.  Ironically, it’s a movie about a man trying to get past commercialism and make some serious art made by a man who’s trying to get past commercialism and make some serious art.

The Academy will no doubt love its message – “Hey, we actors aren’t as happy as you’d think, we really struggle to make you all happy!”

And finally, I’d just like to say, I think Michael Keaton is awesome.  He made me laugh in movies like The Dream Team and Beetlejuice.  And I remember seeing him in the first Batman and I thought, “Wow, Hollywood picked a guy that isn’t all buff and muscle-bound to play a super hero and he did an awesome job.  Maybe there’s hope for us nerds.”  So I hope tomorrow night is his night to walk home with a little gold man.  (I mean an Oscar, not an actual little gold man).

Did you see it?  What did you think?  Flap your bird wings to the comment section and let me know.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Feb 08 2015
19 Comments
Movies

Let’s Talk Sci-Fi – Movie Review – Blade Runner (1982)

Hey Fellow Sci-Fi Nerds,

So for the past few weeks, I’ve been asking for your input as I build a world for a sci-fi novel that’s locked up in my brain.  Naturally, I thought, why not help the process along by checking out a cult classic of Sci-Fi cinema, namely the 1982 Ridley Scott Directed film, Blade Runner, starring Harrison Ford.

(Forever Cinema Trailers)

THE PLOT

Ford stars as Richard Deckard, a Blade Runner, a special type of police officer assigned to hunt down and execute replicants on site.

Replicants are bioengineered humans.  They’re built by the Tyrell Corporation to be stronger, faster, smarter, or as Tyrell puts it, “More Human than the Human.”  (In case you were wondering where that White Zombie song came from).

Foreseeing the problem that replicants could use their superior abilities to take over, the government outlaws them on Earth, and only allows them to be used as slave labor on off world colonies.  Further, Tyrell has put in a failsafe – replicants only live for four years, so none of them really have time to learn how to get too big for their britches.

THE WORLD

In the 1980’s, Japanese tech companies were booming, so naturally the creators of the film anticipated an Asianization of American culture.  Although it takes place in a futuristic Los Angeles, open area Asian bazaar style shops and sidewalk noodle joints riddle the landscape.  An enormous building size image of a geisha is prominently displayed.

Even though its in the future, everything looks old and worn out, suggesting that America may one day fight itself in abject poverty, everyone living in cramped, dirty spaces, tripping over one another just to get some room.  (Sometimes when you look at today’s economy reports, it feels like we’re there).

THE CLOTHES

Oddly, even though it’s LA and the depletion of the ozone layer is only going to make it hotter, everyone in this film is bundled up like its Christmastime in Minnesota.  This is where some science nerd will now explain to me that global warming can actually lead to global cooling.  And you’re probably right, science nerd.

THE TIME

It takes place in 2019, so about four years from now, we’ll be subject to a number of “Where are the replicants?” stories like we did this year now that we’ve reached the age of Back to the Future II.

THE TECHNOLOGY

Much of the tech in the film, at least by today’s standards, looks like it was raided from the basement storage room of a high school AV Club.  There’s a lot of tube based monitors and equipment that looks like it could display microfiche in your local library.  But hey, it all probably seemed like top of the line stuff in 1982.

There are flying cars, but there are also regular land cars.  Deckard has a land car.  He does get a ride in Edward James Olmos’ flying car.  And I was glad to see this flying car did have several instruments, computer monitors, controls, and Olmos even puts on a special flying hat.  In other words, the people behind this film anticipated, like I do, that flying a frigging car will be serious business and not something you can allow just an y old jerk to do.

There are video pay phones.  Video phones are here, but you know my feeling on the subject.  Pay phones of any kind are long gone and I doubt they’ll make a comeback.

Also, nothing to do with tech, but people smoke like chimneys throughout the film.  People don’t smoke as much today and when they do, rarely in public lest they be accused of a hate crime.  Enter any dive bar and you’ll find people engaged in Russian roulette competitions, chainsaw juggling, wild and crazy orgies, but anyone who lights up a stogie will be asked to leave.

LEGACY OF THE FILM

It’s fun to make fun of, but in a time where Star Wars had put Hollywood on a “space opera” kick, the people behind this film did try to make something serious.  It poses a lot of questions about bioengineering, and JF Sebastian’s creepy “toy shop” certainly leaves us wondering whether maybe we should let nature run its course with the human anatomy, rather than do our own tinkering.

There’s certainly a lot to discuss about life when it comes to film – the quality of life, how little time we have, how none of us want to die, even replicants.

Olmos’ character, Gaff, speaks in a foreign language of some kind through most of the film, only to clearly annunciate at the end, regarding Deckard’s replicant love interest Rachel:

“It’s too bad she won’t live!  But then again, who does?”

In other words, Gaff uses his few precious words in the film to tell us that we all tend to walk around aimlessly, trying to get something out of life, but few of us ever get where we want or are satisfied if we ever do.

IS DECKARD A REPLICANT?

If I shake my magic 8 ball, it will read, “All signs point to yes.”

Deckard dreams of a unicorn.  I don’t know if that’s really a sign, because frankly, I dream about unicorns all the time.  I might be a replicant then.  Replicants have implanted memories and since unicorns aren’t real, and yet Deckard has a vivid memory of seeing one, the suggestion is he was built in a lab where a scientist added a false memory of a unicorn.  Replicants receive false memories, supposedly in an effort to make them happier and/or more human.

Also, Deckard has kind of an odd relationship with his boss, Bryant.  At the start of the film, he tells Bryant that he’s out of the Blade Runner business and won’t help him.  Bryant tells Deckard he doesn’t have a choice and so Deckard just complies and goes on a replicant hunt.  Does that mean Deckard is a slave of some kind, beholden to Bryant’s will?  Or is Deckard just like any other human who doesn’t want to piss off an overbearing boss?

ROY BATTY

The villain of the film is Roy Batty (isn’t batty another word for nuts?) aptly played by Rutger Hauer.  He’s a replicant who roams LA, cutting a wide swath through various genetic scientists in the hopes he can torture one into coming up with a cure that will allow him and his friends to live longer.  None of them are able to, which drives him, well, batty.

SPOILER ALERT  (Although honestly, you’ve had like thirty plus years to watch this damn thing)

The surprise of the movie comes when Batty has Deckard right where he wants him.  Dickard clings to a rooftop beam, about to fall at any second.  Batty can easily step on the hands of the man who has been hunting him and be the victor.  But instead, Batty uses his super strength to save Deckard and pull him to the rooftop.

Why?  Could it be that Batty recognizes that Deckard is a fellow replicant and doesn’t want to kill one of his own?  Or, does Batty just decide that killing Deckard won’t really accomplish anything, so why spill more blood?

In the end, Batty has this iconic “TEARS IN THE RAIN” speech:

I have… seen things you people wouldn’t believe… Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those… moments… will be lost in time, like (cough) tears… in… rain. Time… to die…

Out of the mouths of replicants.  That’s pretty profound stuff, isn’t it?  Forget about attack ships and glittering beams, just think about all you’ve done in your life.  Long before I became Blade Runner fan, I would often get choked up just by thought that one day, I’ll kick the bucket and all the memories of all my accomplishments, including starting this blog that only three people read, will vaporize into nothingness.  Who knew that I was just suffering from Roy Batty sadness the entire time.

And what is a tear in the rain?  A tear is happening.  A memory is happening.  But a tear in the rain just becomes another drop of water.  A life full of memories ends, just like so many others do every other day…well, I don’t want to say that life is meaningless or “a tale told by an idiot” as Shakespeare once said, but  aren’t there times when we all feel a little bit like Roy Batty?

CONCLUSIONS

It’s worth a rental.  And Hollywood hasn’t shown an interest in remaking it with a bunch of dopey starlets who would probably just screw it up…yet.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Feb 07 2015
5 Comments
Movies, Science Fiction

Movie Review – Jupiter Ascending (2015)

WARNING:  REINCARNATED SPACE SPOILERS AHEAD

I’ve been looking forward to this one for a long time, mainly because I feel like they’ve been promoting in forever.  Given that it is up against Seventh Son, a fantasy film, nerds have plenty to watch this weekend, though these films may be cannibalizing one another’s profits since their core audiences are going to be the same contingent of geeks and dweebs.

That’s not an insult geeks and dweebs.  I am one of you.

And sadly, since they’re both movies that cater to a younger crowd, I think they’re both going to be trounced by…dun dun dun… Spongebob: Sponge Out of Water.

But enough about business talk.

The plot?  It turns out that worlds aren’t so much natural occurrences as they are business assets of a corporation owned The Abrasax family.  The three heirs, played by Eddie Redmayne , Tuppence Middleton, and Douglas Booth, as heirs to a fortune often do, squabble over their inheritances, always trying to gain more planets for themselves.

But they don’t want to rule them.  They want to harvest them.  We’re all basically cattle and once a planet’s population exceeds its resources, the Abrasaxes have all of the people killed and somehow they are turned into a juice that can be bathed in to reverse the aging process.

Umm…good luck with that.  All I can say is if you bathe in a juice made out of me, you’re going to be pretty disgusted.

Somehow, and they don’t really explain how, but Jupiter Jones, played by Mila Kunis, is a reincarnated version of the Abrasax kids’s mother.  That’s a problem for them, seeing as how their mother, before being murdered by Redmayne’s character, Balem, wrote it into her will that her reincarnated self would inherit Earth.

Sidenote – this movie realized that I’ve done very little to ensure that my assets will be transferred to my reincarnated self, and thus as soon as I’m done writing this review, I’m going to get my attorney on the horn posthaste.

Keep in mind that at the start of the film, Jupiter has no idea that she’s a reincarnated space queen.  She was born a Russian immigrant and cleans rich people’s toilets for a living.

Middleton’s character, Kalique, is happy to have a version of her mother back.  Booth’s Titus contrives a scheme to marry Jupiter, claiming that doing so will protect Earth and keep it out of Balem’s grubby mitts.  However, Titus has his own evil plans.

Here’s a rundown of a conversation I had with the Wachowskis in my mind as I watched the film:

ME:  So this guy is trying to marry a reincarnated version of his mother?

WACHOWSKIS:  Yes.

ME:  That isn’t incest?

WACHOWSKIS:  No.  She’s not actually his mother.  She’s his reincarnated mother.

ME:  But she’s his mother brought back to life so…

WACHOWSKIS:  SHUT UP AND WATCH THE PRETTY SPECIAL EFFECTS!!!!

Anyway, Channing Tatum plays Jupiter’s protector, Caine Wise, a human-wolf hybrid, and at this point, the man’s abs must be a multi-million dollar business.

HOLLYWOOD:  Channing, we want you in our next picture.

CHANNING:  I’m gonna have to charge you a million per ab.

And much to my surprise, Sean Bean was in the movie and he didn’t die.  He dies in every movie he’s in, so it was kind of a disappointment that his character didn’t bite the dust, buy the farm, or kick the bucket.

All in all, for a February film, it was pretty decent.  I’ve seen ads for this forever, and when a movie is hyped for this long, you kind of go into it expecting your socks to be knocked off, and usually they never are.  But sci-fi nerds and space geeks will be pleased.  The Wachowskis of Matrix fame are masters of the genre and they don’t disappoint with their special effects skills.  People fly, there’s space craft warfare, and so on.

Plus, the scene lampooning the bureaucratic process that Jupiter has to go through to be named Queen was amusing.

One minor complaint – there were a lot of characters, aliens, technologies, organizations – in short, just a lot going on.  It leaves you with questions that unfortunately a movie just doesn’t have time to answer.

The special effects alone are worth seeing on the big screen though, and let’s face it, you’ve got nothing else better to do this weekend, so go see it.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Jan 29 2015
3 Comments
Movies

Ghostbusters Reboot

I wish it was a continuation (i.e. a sequel) rather than a reboot.

It could start with Ray (Dan Akyroyd) and Winston (Ernie Hudson) selling the old firehouse to a new group of female Ghostbusters.  After the cash is handed over and the papers are signed, Ray and Winston retire to Florida where they, oh I don’t know, become fishing boat captains.  Or buddy cops.

Perhaps this is overly-nerdy of me, but I feel like a reboot wipes out the past universe of a movie franchise, whereas a sequel continues it.

Unless you’re into varying timelines.  Or aren’t a nerd who spends too much time thinking about these things.

What say you, readers?  What are your thoughts on the Ghostbusters reboot?

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Jan 28 2015
6 Comments
Movies

My Quest to See All of This Year’s Oscar Nominated Movies

I’ve been talking a lot about movies lately.  You might as well start calling this blog “Movieshelf Battle.”  But what can I say?  I do love books.  But I also have movies.  And whether it is in a book or on the screen, a story is a story.

Here’s the list of this year’s 2015 Oscar Nominees:

American Sniper – Saw it.  Check out my review here.

Birdman (or the Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) – Haven’t seen it.  As a former Batman, Michael Keaton plays a role he knows something about – that of an actor known for playing a superhero, and what happens to him in the film I’m not sure.  But I do love superheroes and was a fan of Keaton’s 1989 Batman, so I’ll have to check it out.

Boyhood – I’ve rented it but have yet to watch it.  People who have tell me that the story itself is pretty blah, but the idea of filming a child actor at different stages of his life (as opposed to having different kids play the character at different ages, which is what Hollywood usually does) is very unique and creative.

The Grand Budapest Hotel – Eh.  I’ve never been a huge Wes Anderson fan.  I love comedies.  Sometimes I think he might try too hard.  Other times I watch something like Hangover 3 and think that maybe Hollywood NEEDS to try harder when it comes to comedy.  It is nice to see a comedy in the best picture list though.  That rarely happens.  The late 1990’s As Good As It Gets with Jack Nicholson was the last Oscar recognized comedy that I can remember.

The Imitation Game – I have seen it!  I owe you a review!  In fact, I’m a little disappointed in myself for reviewing The Boy Next Door before The Imitation Game.

Selma – Haven’t seen it.  Been meaning to.  Looks good.  Lots of history.  Good for the historical record for this important time in U.S. history to be recorded on film.

The Theory of Everything – I’m glad Stephen Hawking got his own biopic.  He does more with a wheelchair and a keyboard than most able bodied people do all day.  Yet to see it.

Whiplash – Never seen it.  Has to something to do with a drummer who wants to learn to drum and receives help from a guy who is like some kind of drumming drill sergeant.  I’ll try to see it.

Anyway, those are the nominees.  My main complaint?  I wish they’d space these out over the year, rather than come out all at the same time.  But I suppose that’s the strategy – open them in a few theaters in December so they count as 2014 movie, then release them everywhere in January so people are talking about these movies come Oscar time.

I’m going to try my best to see and review them all before the Oscars.  Doubt I’ll make it, but let’s see what happens.  If you have reviews or comments about these movies, feel free to comment away.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Jan 25 2015
5 Comments
Movies

Movie Review – The Boy Next Door (2015)

Oh J Lo.  How the mighty have fallen.

January is garbage movie month.  It’s not the summertime where people are on vacation and have time to go to a movie.  It isn’t Christmas time when families feel the need to get together and watch a movie in the spirit of togetherness, camaraderie, and all that nonsense.

Alas, January is the time when half the country is freezing their butts off and everyone is plugging away on New Year’s resolutions which will be tossed aside by March.

So naturally, I went into The Boy Next Door assuming I was walking into a pile of red hot smelly garbage.  To give it a backhanded compliment, it was only hot and smelly garbage, with the “red” adjective being unnecessary.  In other words, it was bad, but not as bad as I thought it would be, and not the worst movie I’ve seen…so I guess as January movies go, good job J Lo?

So, let’s get to the disturbing premise.  J Lo is estranged from her husband, Garrett, played by John Corbett. As they quickly show you in a massive detail dump of a beginning scene at the start of the movie, he cheated on J Lo with his secretary, thus introducing J Lo to a new low in her career, that of playing a woman who could possibly be cheated on.  (Listen, I still don’t buy it, if you have J Lo and you cheat on her, you’re just a greedy bastard, even if we are talking about middle-aged J Lo).

Twenty-year old Noah, played by Ryan Guzman, moves in next door, on the premise that he’s there to help an ailing Uncle, but as we learn later, Noah killed his parents, because,  I don’t know, he’s nuts I guess.  J Lo’s character, Claire (yes J Lo is old enough to play someone named Claire)  helps the young lad cook a meal and in a moment of weakness, she succumbs to his advances.

The whole idea is creepy and weird, and the writers make sure to stress that Noah is 20 years old, I assume in an attempt to make it less creepy and weird.  And while I’m not sure how old J Lo is, she has to be in her forties and the idea of her playing a character who gets with someone who probably wasn’t even born yet when she was a fly girl on In Living Color just seems like an odd choice for her acting to career to go in.

After all, I miss the J Lo who was a maid that won Matthew McConaughey’s heart in Maid in Manhattan or the J Lo who trained to kick her killer stalker husband’s ass in Enough.  Meanwhile, this movie was basically Enough meets The Graduate.

So, needless to say, Claire tries to break things off with Noah, but as previously mentioned, he’s nuts, and he’s not having any of it.  He stalks Claire, threatens her, harasses her.  The stakes are high because Claire is a teacher and Noah is attending Claire’s high school.  And while the writers, again, make it clear that Noah is 20, the situation would still cost Claire her job, standing in the community, any attempts to reconcile with her cheating husband who is trying to make amends for what he did, and so on.

Sigh.  I like J Lo.  And this isn’t the worst movie she’s made.  That award goes to Gigli.  Still, even if he is 20, the whole idea of her playing a teacher who has an affair with a student…its just disturbing and might be an indictment of Hollywood’s treatment of older actors.

After all, J Lo’s kept herself up well and doesn’t look much different from her Maid in Manhattan days, at least in my opinion, anyway.  And while her acting skills will probably never earn her an academy award (she’s always been a better singer and dancer), surely Hollywood could find some better roles for her to play.

But alas, no.  No matter how beautiful you are, or how long your career has been, if you’re over 40, Hollywood demands you play a stalked mother with marital problems.

As you know, the Bookshelf Battler is a lover of classic literature, and there was brief mention of the fact that Claire was a classic literature teacher.  There are some very brief classic lit discussions (not too many, we wouldn’t want to provide any thought provoking discussions to a January movie).

On a bad blind date with a man who belittles Classic Literature, arguing that it is not a good subject to study for one who wants employment, Claire points out JK Rowling as an example of a Classic Lit Major who made it big.  And true to form, I sat there with my popcorn, yelling in my mind, “And what about all the other Classic Lit Majors who end up in the slush pile, J Lo?!”

Sigh.  I’m such a cliche.  Don’t mind me.  Keep majoring in Classic Lit people.

Oh, and then there’s a scene where Noah gives Claire “a first edition copy of Homer’s The Iliad.”  I don’t have the heart to point out that a first-edition copy of The Iliad probably would have been printed on papyrus or a stone tablet.

So, in conclusion, it’s a movie that a) made me feel bad for J Lo b) was bad and c) wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be and d) pretty much what you can expect from a January movie.

Come on, March!  We need your better movies to distract us from our broken resolutions!

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Jan 19 2015
2 Comments
Movies

It Happens

Just read Stephen King’s It will be turned into a 2-part film by director Carey Fukunaga of True Detective fame.

There was an early 1990’s made for TV version.  I recall being scared crapless by it.  I’d probably laugh at it now.  It did star the late great John Ritter aka Jack Tripper.

Many of you recently noted under one of my posts that you rank this as one of your favorite novels.  What do you think.  Will Hollywood do It justice?

Ha, see what I did there?  I’m so witty…

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Jan 18 2015
9 Comments
Movies

Movie Review – American Sniper (2014)

“My regrets are about the people I couldn’t save—Marines, soldiers, my buddies. I still feel their loss. I still ache for my failure to protect them.”

– Chris Kyle, American Sniper

Chris Kyle – Husband.  Father.  Navy Seal.  Most Lethal U.S. Sniper.  Punisher comic-book fan.  Self-declared bad-ass.  Let’s talk about the film based on Kyle’s autobiography.

I recently saw it and was blown away (no pun intended).  Actor Bradley Cooper was recently on The Howard Stern Show, discussing how he gained forty pounds of muscle to play the role, and man did it show.  Cooper turned in a solid performance that did Kyle justice, and he’s definitely an Oscar contender.

Kyle’s friends and fellow soldiers nicknamed him, “The Legend.”  The name starts out as a joke, but soon it fits as he starts racking up one enemy kill after another.  Soldiers say they literally feel better when he’s watching out for them through the lens of his rifle scope.  The terrorists hate him, putting out a $180,000 bounty on his head.  Kyle jokes, “Don’t tell my wife.  She might collect on it.”  Self-Deprecating humor is one of his trademarks throughout the film.

Kyle takes an active role in a unit chasing after a terrorist nicknamed, “The Butcher.”  As shown in the film, the Butcher has a penchant for running around Iraq with a power drill, which he tortures Iraqis when they dare work with U.S. forces.  Also dogging Kyle throughout the film is a sniper known as Mustafa, an Iraqi who once went to the Olympics as a marksman, but later joined the terrorists in fighting against American forces.

The movie follows Kyle through four tours of duty, showing the stresses he experiences on the battlefield, as well as the toll it makes on his life back at home.  His wife is unhappy that he keeps returning to battle, and he is suffering from out of control blood pressure.

I’ve read some reader reviews of the book, many positive, some negative (no writer gets off without at least some negative reviews unfortunately).  The negative reviews claim Kyle comes across as having a big ego and being full of himself, that he just enjoyed being “a bad-ass.”

Well, here’s the thing – He was a bad-ass.  The man made Chuck Norris look like a choir boy.  (No offense, Chuck).  And according to the movie, he was his own worst self-critic.  Rather than be content with all the soldiers he did save, he often focused on those he died, wishing he could have saved them.  And when he was home, he felt bad for being home, feeling he needed to be back in Iraq, back in the fight.

Eventually, he does leave active duty and returns to civilian life, but he’s haunted by the war, and still feels he should be helping his fellow soldiers.

Finally, a psychiatrist tells him there are plenty of returned soldiers in the US that could use his help.  Kyle begins volunteering with wounded soldiers, taking them out for target practice.  The idea was to help struggling veterans feel empowered by working on their marksman skills.

Thankfully the movie does not show it, but Kyle died when a veteran with mental problems he’d volunteered to help shoots him.  Very sad to think about how this man cheated death over and over in Iraq only to be murdered by someone he was trying to help.

The book’s a good read, the film’s fast-paced and full of action, both worth your time.  Check them out!

Thankfully, the movie doesn’t show it, but sadly, Kyle died when he was shot by a veteran with mental problems he had volunteered to help.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Jan 10 2015
Leave a comment
Movies

Rocky Balboa and Rambo 5 – Attack on Nursing Home Delta

Readers, I’ll let you in on a secret.  Hell, there’s only like three of you reading, so it will still remain a secret after I’ve told you.

The Bookshelf Battler is a fan of the Rocky movies.

In particular – Rocky 1-IV, and VI.  I like to pretend V doesn’t exist.  If you’re not an Ancient Roman, I’m trying to tell you I like Rocky 1-4, not 5, and 6.

Six had the potential to be very bad.  It was released in 2006 as Rocky Balboa and even then, Stallone was past his prime.

But to his credit, Stallone didn’t do what many aging stars have done – demand that the audience turn a blind eye and see him like he’s some kind of young superstar, like he was in his glory days.  He wrote his age into the plot.  In the film, Rocky is old, down on his luck.  Adrian’s deceased, he’s lost all his money, his grown-up son hates him, and he runs a lame restaurant that people go to just to listen to him stop by their tables to tell a few boxing stories.

After a computer simulation pits him against a popular fighter, a match is arranged for them to go head to head and the measure of Rocky’s victory is laid out – to be considered a success, he doesn’t have to win.  He isn’t expected to win at all.  He just has to survive for awhile in the ring.  Essentially, by fighting the fight and not dropping dead, Rocky wins.

The movie brings the franchise around full circle, to the initial movie where Rocky did not win the fight against Apollo Creed, but actually found success just by going toe to toe with him in the ring when everyone thought the nobody would pretty much be murdered instantly by the famous fighter.

In my opinion, when Rocky gave his infamous speech to his son, he defined the entire series:

Rocky Balboa’s Inspirational Speech to His Son

“You ain’t gonna believe this, but you used to fit right here. (Shows palm of his hand). I’d hold you up to say to your mother, ‘This kid’s gonna be the best kid in the world. This kid’s gonna be somebody better than anybody I ever knew.’ And you grew up good and wonderful. It was great just watchin’ you, every day was like a privilege. Then the time come for you to be your own man and take on the world, and you did. But somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you’re no good. And when things got hard, you started lookin’ for something to blame, like a big shadow.

Let me tell you something you already know.The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!

Now if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth! But you gotta be willing to take the hits. And not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain’t you! You’re better than that!

I’m always gonna love you no matter what. No matter what happens. You’re my son and you’re my blood. You’re the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, you ain’t gonna have a life.”

– Sylvester Stallone in Rocky Balboa (2006)

Let me just repeat one part:

“You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!”

In other words, getting knocked down is inevitable.  It is going to happen.  You can’t feel bad that it happened.  You can’t say, “Woe is me, if only I was like one of those lucky people who didn’t get knocked down.”  This is just what life does.  You didn’t fail when you got knocked down.  You failed when you stayed down.

I remember sitting in the movie theater, listening to an old Sylvester Stallone say those words, and they made me feel inspired to take on the world.  And, sadly, there have been many times when I’ve ignored Rocky’s advice.  Life would toss a right-hook to my face, send me straight to floor, and I’d say, “Hmmm, what a nice, comfy floor!  I think I’ll stay here for awhile!”

But aside from that, at my lowest moments, I would not turn to a classic poet, or a Rhodes Scholar, or a Nobel Laureate.  I’d click on YouTube and find the clip of Rocky giving his son that speech.  And it would leave me feeling inspired.

The success of Rocky Balboa allowed Stallone to bring back Rambo.  More or less, he followed the same formula.  Don’t portray Rambo as an old man pretending to be a youthful tough guy.  Present him as an old man, hiding out in the jungle, trying to get away from his past.  I can’t say it inspired me to the extent Rocky Balboa did, but it was an acceptable film.

Then came The Expendables.  Again, the same formula – old timers playing old timers.  People who criticized it didn’t get the point.  It wasn’t made for them.  It was made for 1980’s era action flick fanboys like yours truly.  High action.  Low plot.  That’s how we liked our action when Reagan was in the White House.

But I have to say, the recent Expendables 3 didn’t do much for me, and I fear another Rambo installment might be pushing it when it comes to cashing in on the audience’s good will.  Stallone can only go to the, “OK I’ll admit I’m old” well so many times.  Every time he trots out one of our favorite characters, he runs the risk of overextending beloved franchises.  The idea that Rocky is going to star in Creed, a film about Apollo Creed’s son as a boxer, worries me as well.

Oh well.  At least I’ll have Rocky 6 and Rambo 2.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Jan 10 2015
6 Comments
Movies

Movie Review – Taken 3 (2015)

WARNING:  I don’t know who you are.  Actually, I do.  You’re one of the three people who read my blog.  If you are looking for ransom, I don’t have any money.  But what I do have are a very particular set of SPOILERS, spoilers I have acquired over a two hour period spent watching a movie you haven’t seen yet.  Spoilers that can ruin your movie going experience.  If you click this post off now, that will be the end of it. But if you don’t, I will spoil this movie for you.

Actually, is it even possible for this movie franchise to have a spoiler?  By now, you know off the bat someone is getting taken.

I enjoyed the original Taken movie.  I thought it was very original.  I was surprised that Neeson, a traditional dramatic actor, was able to morph into an action star.  The concept was original – the bad guys picked the wrong guy to mess with.

Seriously – have you ever just been walking around, minding your own business, someone insults you, you let it it go and walk right by, because you’re a normal law-abiding citizen, but secretly you hope that said rude person will be rude to the wrong person and said person will kick their ass?

What?  No?  That’s just me?  OK, well I guess that’s why I thoroughly enjoyed the original Taken then.  It was enjoyable to watch the fallout that occurred when the bad guys inadvertently incurred the wrath of Neeson’s character, a highly trained badass ex-CIA agent.

Taken 2?  Well, they flipped it around a little bit.  Neeson and his ex-wife get taken, and then their daughter has to help them escape.

Hollywood could have stopped there but recently we’ve received Taken 3 – The Search for More Cash.

Caveat – as action films go, it was pretty decent, and frankly, above average for what is usually released in January.  January tends to be the month where Hollywood releases the films that are real stinkers.  I can’t say this movie stinks, it just does in comparison to the original.

Because seriously – how many times can someone in this guy’s life be taken???

One note – Neeson’s character’s current husband is changed over to a) be played by a different character and b) be the bad guy.  I’m not a fan of it when Hollywood does rewrites like that in the hopes that no one will notice.

Here’s what the pitch meeting was like:

PRODUCER 1:  We’re going to rewrite the character of Stuart the current husband to be the bad guy.

PRODUCER 2:  That’s fine.  That’s something that only a lame, obscure book blogger with 3 followers would notice.

All in all – not the best of the series, but better than usual for what you get in the first month of the year.

Tagged , , , , , , , , ,
← Older posts
Newer posts →