Tag Archives: discussions

Daily Discussion with BQB – Do We All See the Same Things?

Hey 3.5 readers.

BQB here.

Got a big ass mind-blowing question for you.

How sure are we that we all see the same exact things?

For example, what if the color I see as blue, you see as red?  Every time I see something I think is blue, you see it as red.  We never realize we see the color differently because technically, we’re talking about the same thing.

I see people that look like humans.  But what if what you think humans look like and what I think they look like are different?

What if people look like giant lizards to you, but they look like people to me?

What if actual lizards look like tiny people to you?

Sure, this all sounds ridiculous, and it is unlikely, but no one has ever been able to see through the eyes of another before, so how can we e so sure that we are all looking at the same thing?

Discuss.

Tagged , ,

Daily Discussion with BQB – Death and Children

Well…that’s kind of a scary title for a blog post but don’t worry, I’ll make sense of it in a minute.

A kid from my graduating class at East Randomtown High School died this week.  Late thirties.  I can’t say I was friends with him but there wasn’t any reason for that.  Our paths just didn’t cross that much.  I have memories of being a nice little kid and playing with him at recess and stuff but other than that, I didn’t know him as an adult or anything.

Makes me sad…a) because you never know how much time we have left and b) they guy was in better shape than I am so holy shit, I should probably skip the next donut.

Oh what the hell.  Give me the donut.

Video Game Rack Fighter and I don’t have children.  It saddens me.  Thought I would by this age.

Men apparently have biological clocks too.  I mean, sure, in theory, a seventy year old man can knock up a chick but that’s a) if you make it to 70 and b) it won’t be that much fun to be a dad because you’ll be too tired to play with the kid and c) really, only a select handful of men can pull off impregnating a younger woman.

Ahh, you forgot that part.  A 70 year old man can’t impregnate a 70 year old woman i.e. a woman in his league because her lady area is all dried up and filled with bats and spiders and so on.

Not that I’m knocking the older gals.  I’m sure old men probably just have a little flag that shoots out of their privates that reads, “Thanks for playing.  Try again.”

Anyway, only super rich 70 year olds can woo and knock up a younger woman.  Like our 45th POTUS, the Trumpster, for example.  He knocked up a younger woman when he was 60 and now he has a ten year old at 70.

Good for him, but I don’t own any skyscrapers that I can point to when I’m 70 and say, “Hey, younger women, I own this and I can give you a good life so please allow me to impregnate you and a good time will be had by all.”

That’s exactly how I’d say it too.  I’m such a romantic.

Just saddens me all around.

Because now I’m just thinking like, realistically, even now I’m pushing it and at best I have a couple years left to put a bun in the oven before I’m the oldest baker at the kid’s graduation.

Maybe I should just adopt a bunch of poor orphans and become their father.  I can fill BQB HQ with orphans and turn the place into an orphan sanctuary.

I just don’t want to be forgotten, 3.5 readers.

What say you?

 

Tagged , , , , ,

Daily Discussion with BQB – What is the Key to Happiness?

Hey 3.5 readers.

I don’t have a big build up here.  I just want to know what do all 3.5 of you think the key to happiness is?

What say you, 3.5 readers?

 

Tagged ,

East Randomtown Mayor’s Race – Issue #1 – Zombie Flesh Eating Iguanas

oksmith-iguana-800px

Zombie Flesh Eating Iguanas: Friend or Foe?

Soon, it will be one year since the outbreak of a massive zombie apocalypse that engrossed East Randomtown.

The zombies are long gone in spirit but their flesh remains.  Boy howdy, do they remain because literally every surface in town is covered with zombie guts.

Cleanup efforts have been underway for quite some time, but they have barely scratched the surface.

Shortly after the zombie apocalypse concluded, scores of wild zombie flesh eating iguanas descended upon East Randomtown.  They’ve become a nuisance, almost like squirrels with scales.

But as it turns out, iguanas love the taste of zombie meat.

QUESTION: SHOULD THE ZOMBIE FLESH EATING IGUANAS BE ALLOWED TO STAY IN EAST RANDOMTOWN?

Mayoral candidates Bookshelf Q. Battler, proprietor of a website with 3.5 readers and Leo McKoy, the man who once delivered a sandwich to James Van Der Beek, have the floor.

shutterstock_236377597

Acting Mayor Battler

Thank you. As acting mayor, allow me to say that the zombie flesh eating iguanas are a welcome addition to our community.

Sure, they scurry around our feet and get in the way but the important thing to remember is that they are helping us get rid of the zombie carcasses that litter our town.

I don’t want to clean up all those zombie bodies. You don’t want to clean up those zombie bodies. If our little green friends are willing to eat the zombie bodies, then what’s the big deal?

Frankly, these zombie flesh eating iguanas are just eating the zombie flesh that East Randomtown’s current small animal population can’t be bothered to eat.

shutterstock_287109401

Mayoral Candidate McKoy

Battler, the last two brain cells in your stupid head need to hump and produce some more brain cells quick lest their entire kind go extinct, because what you just said was the dumbest thing I have ever heard in my entire life.

Who are these zombie flesh eating iguanas? What are they doing here? What do they want?

Has anyone ever bothered to ask them? Perhaps their long term goal is to eat us. Any of you yahoos ever stop and think of that?

When these iguanas are done eating all the dead zombie flesh, will they move along or will they become wards of the state that hard working tax paying Americans will have to support once the last bit of zombie flesh has been consumed?

What about East Randomtown’s squirrels?  What about our rats?  Mice? What about our pigeons?

What about our many, many trash animals have been scurrying about our streets aimlessly in search of opportunity?

Shouldn’t our own rodents get first dibs on all that zombie flesh before we start importing thousands and thousands of iguanas?

I can’t count the number of poor, downtrodden, starving badgers I’ve spoken to on the campaign trail who tell me that they can’t get a fair chance at a chunk of leftover zombie flesh because its all being scooped up by dastardly out of town iguanas from God only knows where.

Further, how do we know that consuming zombie flesh is good for anyone?  I’m no scientist, but it would seem to me that allowing iguanas to consume zombie flesh might very well turn those iguanas into a new species of rabid, man eating zombie iguanas.

Better safe than sorry, I always say. Tell those little green piles of puke to move on to the next town because we’ve got enough problems as it is.

There you have it, 3.5 readers. The candidates have sounded off on the very important iguana issue.  Who do you side with?  BQB or Leo McKoy?

Discuss in the comments.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

Daily Discussion With BQB – Star Trek

Happy Friday 3.5 Readers.

The new Star Trek movie is out today, so I’ll ask, what is your favorite Star Trek episode or movie?  The original, the Next Generation, all the other shows, movies, etc.

Tagged , , , ,

Daily Discussion with BQB – Should we everyone get to time travel?

Everyone should have their own time travel device that allows them to go back to points where they wish they’d done something different, and then, by trial and error, eventually get to an awesome future.

Screw this nonsense that everything happens for a reason.

Although there probably will be some people who use this power for global domination.

But…you get to change your life and fix your mistakes so…cool, yes?

Discuss.

Tagged , ,

Epic Fail

I failed to post a daily discussion today, or yesterday by the time people start seeing this post.

And my 3.5 readers did not even scold me!

You’re too kind, 3.5 readers. You’re too kind.

Tagged , ,

Daily Discussion with BQB – Which State Would Be the Best (or Worst) to Ride Out a Zombie Apocalypse In?

shutterstock_142238938

Happy Sunday 3.5 Readers.

Your old pal BQB here.

Out of the 50 United States (and feel free to add the territories into the mix if you like) which one would be the best to ride out a zombie apocalypse in?

Alternatively, which one would be the worst state to battle the undead in?

I suppose thanks to The Walking Dead we know Georgia is a good zombie battleground.  Lots of trees to hide under. Lots of rednecks who’ve been practicing their shooting skills on squirrels in their backyards in the hopes that some shit like this would go down.

But I think I will go with Hawaii.  Theoretically, I could put my back to the ocean and at least have one area where I know I don’t have to worry about protecting.

Then again if zombies swarm the beach, I’m left with nowhere to run.

I assume there will be coconuts, macademia nuts, and pineapples I can feast on though.

The worst state I think would be Alaska. Indeed, there will also be many helpful rednecks and rugged outdoorsmen to lend a hand.

However, it’s cold as shit and dark all the time so that makes for an unpleasant zombie fighting environment.  The cold and the dark would eventually wear you down, whereas they would not have any effect on evil hideous zombies.

What say you, 3.5 readers? Best state and worst state to be in during a zombie apocalypse.

Other Possibilities:

BEST STATE – California. Head to LA, for there will be plenty of zombie costumes to grab from studio wardrobes.  Put one on and blend right in. Also, so many people filled with silicone parts and botox the zombies might spend all day trying to chew through them to no avail allowing you ample time to escape.

WORST STATE – Vermont. Too many hippies. They’ll want to befriend the zombies and invite them to their next protest.

Or feel free to do cities:

BEST CITY – Detroit.  From your 90 year old grandma to your friendly neighborhood street gang, everyone is already packing like 12 guns, so there will be plenty of weaponry to spare. Caveat – the humans might shoot you before the zombies get to you.

WORST CITY – New York, although it depends on which part you’re in. Brooklyn and/or Bronx residents will give the zombies what for.  Meanwhile, if you’re in Manhattan, it’s mostly tourists and people dressed up as off brand cartoon characters.  Some bum dressed up like Schmelmo (instead of Elmo) in the hopes you’ll give him a dollar to have your picture taken with him will not be much help during a zompoc.

Tagged , , , ,

Introducing Daily Discussions with BQB

shutterstock_236377546-2

Your chance to talk with BQB – World Renowned Poindexter, Magic Bookshelf Caretaker and Champion Yeti Fighter

Hey 3.5 readers.

Your old pal Bookshelf Q. Battler here.

Let’s talk.

3.5, I have to level with you. Over the course of many years, your humble blog host has acquired a number of unhealthy habits and allowing them to go for as long as I have has generally turned my flesh into more or less a jiggly cottage cheese like substance.

Caffeine. Sugar. Not exercising. Not getting enough sleep. These are among my problems.

I’m tired of it. I don’t want to go on like this any longer.

But honestly, it was easy for me to let things go for a long time because, well, when you’re unhappy and life is having a good laugh at all your plans, hopes and dreams, it’s hard not to pop a diet coke, unwrap a candy bar, and chillax.

Can’t do it anymore and, you all should be honored, because I’m not going to do it anymore because of you, my 3.5 readers.

Yes, you fine 3.5 readers clearly enjoy my site, seeing as how you all arrive to click on it 3.5 times a day, and I want to give you many, many more years of BQB goodness.

Selfishly, I want to give you many, many more years of BQB goodness.

To quote Jerry Maguire, you complete me, 3.5 readers. You really do.

You’re the ying to my yang, the pep in my step, the apple of my eye, the cream in my coffee, the hot fudge on my sundae, the up to my down, the smile to my frown and the Denver Broncos to my Cleveland Browns.

I have no idea about football. That last statement could have been negative, positive or neutral. I don’t know what those two teams think of each other. I just said it because I needed to end with a word that rhymed with frown.

I digress.

I’ve been reading a lot about making your life more efficient by getting up early.  Hal Elrod’s The Miracle Morning for example is a good book on the subject.

Generally, a body is like a car and it requires a lot of upkeep, especially one that’s in, well, disrepair.

You’ve got to get your ass out and buy vegetables and healthy food instead of just letting Bookshelf Q. Battledog order pizza. (You wish you had a pizza ordering dog.)

You need to, I don’t know, make salads and vegetable juices and shit.

You need to go for walks and jogs and do jumping jacks and sit ups and all that horse shit.

You need to lift weights.

You need to plan out your day.  Get things done so you don’t end up stressed, overwhelmed, and stop taking care of yourself.

I have been trying to wake myself up early in the morning just to have some extra time to do all this for many years now.

I pledge that I’ll do it but then I never do.

But you have to.  Because at the end of the day, it is way to easy to tell yourself, “I’m tired.  I’ll do it tomorrow.”

But tomorrow never comes!  You just do the same bullshit tomorrow.

Or at least I do.

So I don’t really want to give you regular updates about the various healthy things I’ll be doing.  That seems lame.

Instead, to keep myself honest and make sure I’m getting up everyday to do all this stuff, I’m introducing a new segment.

“Daily Discussions with BQB.”

Yes.  I’m going to wake my ass up early.  I’m going to post a quick discussion question.

It won’t be anything too elaborate. It will be something related to pop culture, self publishing, books, blogging, movies or what have you…you know, the stuff I usually write about.

It’ll give the blog a little boost. It’ll put pressure on me to wake up early.  When I’m up early, I’ll start working on myself.

I’ll need your help, 3.5 readers.

If you ever see this blog without a daily discussion posted in the morning, rip me a new one.  Yell at me profusely, call me horrible names, voice your unwavering disappointment with me.

Together, we’ll whip my ass into shape.  I’ll be happier, I’ll live longer, I’ll be stronger and more able to work on my books which, let’s keep our fingers crossed, will earn me enough to buy a mansion in Malibu.

OK.  I guess I can’t put it on you people to help me buy a mansion in Malibu.

Shack in Sheboygan?

Whatever.

Join in the daily discussion with me, 3.5.

Tagged , , , ,

How the West Was Zombed – Discussion Question

shutterstock_320226569

It dawns on me that Chapter 95 raises a potentially interesting discussion question for my 3.5 readers.

3.5 readers, suppose you are in the army, charged with blowing up a bridge to prevent hordes of zombies from crossing.

A crowd of people shows up.  You’re under orders from your superiors to shoot anyone who tries to cross.

To send them back means they will become zombie chow.

But, due to their being little knowledge about the zombie menace, it is possible you’ll be allowing the zombie menace to spread across the bridge by letting people cross.

Do you bend the rules and let them cross or stand firm, obey your orders, and refuse to let people cross?

Discuss.

Tagged , , , , ,