Well…that’s kind of a scary title for a blog post but don’t worry, I’ll make sense of it in a minute.
A kid from my graduating class at East Randomtown High School died this week. Late thirties. I can’t say I was friends with him but there wasn’t any reason for that. Our paths just didn’t cross that much. I have memories of being a nice little kid and playing with him at recess and stuff but other than that, I didn’t know him as an adult or anything.
Makes me sad…a) because you never know how much time we have left and b) they guy was in better shape than I am so holy shit, I should probably skip the next donut.
Oh what the hell. Give me the donut.
Video Game Rack Fighter and I don’t have children. It saddens me. Thought I would by this age.
Men apparently have biological clocks too. I mean, sure, in theory, a seventy year old man can knock up a chick but that’s a) if you make it to 70 and b) it won’t be that much fun to be a dad because you’ll be too tired to play with the kid and c) really, only a select handful of men can pull off impregnating a younger woman.
Ahh, you forgot that part. A 70 year old man can’t impregnate a 70 year old woman i.e. a woman in his league because her lady area is all dried up and filled with bats and spiders and so on.
Not that I’m knocking the older gals. I’m sure old men probably just have a little flag that shoots out of their privates that reads, “Thanks for playing. Try again.”
Anyway, only super rich 70 year olds can woo and knock up a younger woman. Like our 45th POTUS, the Trumpster, for example. He knocked up a younger woman when he was 60 and now he has a ten year old at 70.
Good for him, but I don’t own any skyscrapers that I can point to when I’m 70 and say, “Hey, younger women, I own this and I can give you a good life so please allow me to impregnate you and a good time will be had by all.”
That’s exactly how I’d say it too. I’m such a romantic.
Just saddens me all around.
Because now I’m just thinking like, realistically, even now I’m pushing it and at best I have a couple years left to put a bun in the oven before I’m the oldest baker at the kid’s graduation.
Maybe I should just adopt a bunch of poor orphans and become their father. I can fill BQB HQ with orphans and turn the place into an orphan sanctuary.
I just don’t want to be forgotten, 3.5 readers.
What say you?