Tag Archives: Movies

Aug 10 2018
3 Comments
Movies, Uncategorized

Daily Discussion with BQB – The Oscars Add Best Popular Film Category

You know, 3.5 readers, I’m actually old enough to recall when it wasn’t entirely impossible for a popular film to also be an Oscar film.  Sure, even when I was younger, the Oscars were known for pretentious snobbery, but movies like “Braveheart” or “The Departed” were well received by the public as well as having Oscar potential.

This is new category is laden with tacit admissions: 1) They’re admitting the films they nominate are basically just high falutin’ tripe 2) they’ll never, ever give the gold to a comic book movie.

You might forget that “The Dark Knight” was nominated for Best Picture in 2008 and funny, it was added to Netflix recently.  I rewatched it over the weekend and was struck at how relevant it is  – how longstanding evil can’t be defeated without great sacrifice, how sometimes defeating evil requires a man to get down into the muck, how there has to be darkness before there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, plus the immortal debate over whether or not all men are corruptible given the right circumstances.

Didn’t win.  Had an asshole dressed as a bat.

My guess as to why are they doing this? 1) Back in the day, people would actually become fans of a film and would watch the Oscars to see if their favorite movie wins.  Why, I recall people openly debating which films were the best…because they’d seen them.

No one saw the films this past year and if they did, the convo would be, “What, you think the film about the deaf woman who fucks a fish monster is better than the film about the grad student who statutorily rapes his employer’s teenage son?  How dare you?!”

Second, there is a movement in all walks of life for minorities to be treated equally everywhere and that should be no different in film.  So…the issue is that Oscar films usually deal with heavy subjects, so if a movie featuring black people wins, the black people are usually portrayed as slaves, or downtrodden, poor, caught in an oppressive system…and it’s not that I’m saying those films aren’t important but…

…oh well the hell.  They’re probably doing this because they want “Black Panther” to win an Oscar but they can’t bring themselves to give a gold statue for best picture to a movie about superheroes, even if the movie was able to use sci fi and comic book elements that a) appeal to young people and b) do a better job of explaining the historical arguments of how to obtain civil rights for African Americans.

Honestly, an argument could be made that BP deserves Best Pic outright and this could be Oscar night’s one chance to say hey, we aren’t snooty, we gave it to a super hero film.

But they just can’t do it.

Besides the Black Panther argument, black people (well, I don’t mean to speak for them so if I have any black readers feel free to educate me but I think I’m right)…they don’t ALWAYS want to watch TV and see black people as either slaves or downtrodden people.  Sometimes they want to see black people living life, having fun, going on adventures and so on.  To that end, a movie like “Girls Trip” might take home some gold.

Aside from the “Oscars So White” issue, I think the Academy is wrestling with its view that popular and/or comic booky/action/comedy/horror or fun or blockbuster popcorn films are taking on more and more social issues.  “Captain America: Winter Soldier” for example looked into whether we are sacrificing our right to privacy by putting so much of our lives onto the Internet – data for the government to mine and use and abuse.

I know the Academy prefers their precious, snooty little films about Cold War fish fucking but it wouldn’t hurt them to just give the award to a super hero movie one time…especially one like BP with a lot of cultural significance…and then they could go on to give the film to a snooty fish fucking film next year.

In the early 2000s, they gave the gold to one of the LOTR films, a popular, high grossing film, and then went on to give it to snooty films in following years.

What say you, 3.5 readers?

Tagged , , , ,
Aug 08 2018
Leave a comment
Movies

BQB’s Classic Movie Reviews – Swordfish (2001)

abustany-movie-reel-800px

Halle Berry’s titties.

For years, that’s all I remembered about this film – that (those?) and also that it seemed kind of dumb at the time.

In the early 2000s, you couldn’t have asked for a better collection of actors.  John Travolta was knee deep in his “Pulp Fiction” career recovery.  Hugh Jackman and Halle Berry were fresh off of being X-Men (Wolverine and Storm, respectively).  Meanwhile, Don Cheadle was in, well, everything.

But…sometimes you can take a bunch of awesome things, like graham crackers, marshmallows and chocolate and create something awesome, like s’mores.  And sometimes you can take some awesome things, like pizza, beer and an all night dance party and end up puking your guts out.

In other words, the actors were great but the plot sort of came across as though a bunch of writers got together and said, “Let’s just bypass this whole plot thing and have a lot of awesome explosions, action and get Halle Berry to gratuitously flash her funbags for no reason.

Interestingly enough, I caught this on Netflix after having not seen it since I did in the movie theater oh so many years ago.  And for the first hour or so, I recalled why I thought the movie blew chunks in the first place.

Jackman plays Stanley Jobson, supposedly the world’s greatest hacker, currently on parole after pissing off the government with his hackery.  With a life reduced to poverty, he’s forced into becoming a hacker for Gabriel (Travolta) a mysterious, off-the-books, anti-terrorist operation runner.

The idea sounds awesome in theory but in practice, it’s a lot of just running around, things exploding, Halle Berry eating Twizzlers in a bizarre effort to seem interesting (she already was and didn’t need candy), and Travolta chewing scenery as he hams up his (to the best of my recollection) first villain role with great relish and gusto.

Well, if it sucks then why am I recommending it?  Because, in hindsight, the last half of the film is eerily prophetic.

You see, this film was released in the summer of 2001, a mere three months before the 9/11 attack.  For most of the film, Gabriel comes across as a psychopath who just wants Jobson to use his hacking skills to score some cash.

However, we learn (spoiler) that Gabriel was never just a bank robber, but in fact, he’s running his own anti-terror unit.  As he explains, any time a terrorist attacks American interests, he’ll use the cash to fund his own private Army that will hit the terrorists back tenfold.  Why, if he learns that countries are harboring terrorists, he’ll hit those countries back as well.  Uncle Sam doesn’t want to get his hands dirty, so he’ll do it for him.

Three months before 9/11, the idea was sort of a throwaway.  Sure there were terrorist attacks for years before 9/11, and Americans were vaguely aware of the existence of Osama Bin Laden due to attacks on American embassies in Africa and on the USS Cole, for example.

But the idea that a 9/11 could happen was inconceivable.

At the end of the film, Gabriel tries to convince Stanley that he was never the bad guy.  He poses a question to Stanley – if it were possible to develop a cure to all diseases known to man, but in doing so, one child would have to die, would Stanley do it?

Stanley answers no.  It would be immoral to let the child die.  Gabriel argues that it would be immoral to let so many die just to save one life.  The greater good.

Yes, three months before 9/11 I was just a young adult in the early part of my life, happy go lucky and carefree and I wrote the film off as just a fun diversion and a chance to see some delicious caramel flavored titties.

What I wouldn’t realize until 17 years later is that this relatively obscure action flick posed, right before 9/11, the great question that has plagued, and alas, even torn this country apart, namely – how hard is too hard when it comes to fighting terrorism?  Is it moral to go to war overseas in the hope of stopping it?  Is it moral not to, knowing that if terrorists are rooted out of hiding, they may kill Americans at home?

Whether it is moral to bring the fight to the terrorists or to just live life and accept terrorism as just another sad part of life (i.e. “the new normal”) has been the main source of feuding between conservatives and liberals for nearly two decades now.

Terrorists hiding in other countries.  America fighting back.  Shadow ops to take the baddies out.

Sigh.  We had an early warning in the most unlikely of places, that being a cockamamie action film that rested largely on fake CGI action and real titties.

Very real titties.

I love you Halle.  You tried to save America with your titties and never got the credit you deserve…until now.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy…mainly for the second half and only if you think about the questions raised by the second half in the context that this film was released three months before 9/11.

Tagged , , , ,
Aug 04 2018
Leave a comment
Movies

BQB’s Classic Movie Reviews – Eraser (1996)

abustany-movie-reel-800px

Smile, 3.5 readers.  You’ve just been erased.

Scrolling through Netflix last night with a bowl of pasta in hand, I caught this flick and was transported to me teen years, to a time when seeing Arnold Schwarzenegger on a movie poster meant the film was guaranteed to be good (well, good to fans of action flicks, anyway.)

As it turns out, that era was soon to come to an end.  In my mind, this movie is Schwarzenegger’s last good film.  In the years since, he’s had a couple of flicks that were mildly OK or at least tolerable, and some bona fide garbage, but at any rate, this is the last movie he made that I remember being awesome.

Side note: Maybe he disagrees, but in hindsight, I think it was a mistake for Arnold to run for Governor of Cal-eee-fornia.  Maybe he did it because he thought he was getting older and his movie days were behind him, but I think he might have missed a shot to transition into more seasoned roles.  Maybe he might have, gasp, found an Oscar worthy vehicle.

I know.  He’s a giant weightlifter action star with an Austrian accent but he also had a lot of Hollywood pull.  He could have found his Oscar film. Is it too late now?  I don’t know.

Anyway.  Back to the movie.  This film takes us into the Federal Witness Protection program.  Spoiler alert: our first intro into this world is when Arnold evacuates a mobster turned witness and his wife who are about to get whacked.

Arnold dumps ketchup all over the mobster and his wife, takes a polaroid, puts it into the pocket of one of two hit men he’s offed.  He then replaces the husband and wife with corpse ringers pilfered from a morgue and drags the hit men’s bodies to the front lawn.  He shoots one, then puts the gun in the other’s hand.

The mobster (Robert Pastorelli, by the way) is confused.  Arnold, as his character, US Marshall John Kruger, explains, “They killed you, then turned on each other.”

Pastorelli replies, “Right.  Sons of bitches!”

I don’t know why, but that line made me laugh as a kid and so many years later it still does.

As the movie goes on, I saw a lot of stars I haven’t seen in a long time – James Caan as the film’s villain, Vanessa Williams as the witness Arnie must rescue and James Coburn as the head of the witness protection program.  Oh, and that guy who plays Roger in “Mad Men” has a bit part as an FBI agent.  Sometimes it’s fun to watch old movies and catch actors in parts before they get big.

Alas, if only we had known that not too long after this film, Arnie’s movie career went into the witness program.  It’s not dead, it’s just in hiding – probably in a farm house in rural Illinois, secluded from civilization and far away from anything resembling a restaurant that can provide a good meal.  Maybe it will come out of hiding someday.

For now, it’s just Arnie doing the old actor’s cash-in routine – lots of cash grab sequels to films Gen Xers feel nostalgia for.  As if wrecking “Terminator” with “Genisys” wasn’t enough (Terminators with gray hair, my ass), he’ll be out with a new Conan film I hear.  Something tells me he’ll be wearing more than a leather speedo in this one.

Oh well, who am I to judge? I’ve never been speedo ready in my life.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.

Tagged , ,
Aug 04 2018
Leave a comment
Movie Reviews

Movie Review – Mission Impossible: Fallout (2018)

Hey 3.5 readers.  Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to read this review.

This blog will self-destruct in…oh, who am I kidding?  This shit blew up a long time ago.

BQB here with a review of “Mission Impossible: Fallout.”

I went into this film thinking that this series was surely about to jump the shark.  Tom Cruise is 56 now, thus the only death defying actor who performs his own stunts that I know of who qualifies to receive an AARP card.

Sure, he’s preserved to a level that only a fortune built in La La Land can provide, but even so, I wondered if maybe it wasn’t time to hand this series to the next generation.

As it turns out, Tom’s still got the moves.  The plot is complicated, so much so that your eyes will go crossed if you actually try to follow it.  Honestly, sometimes I wonder if the writers of these films count on that.  In the theater, you’re sitting there, doing the mental calculations of what is transpiring in your head until….oh, wow!  Explosions!  Car chases! Fights!  Stunts!

While Tom’s still got it, I can’t help but notice Hollywood keeps insisting that he get a younger sidekick, i.e. Jeremy Renner in the previous film, or in this one, Henry Cavill of “Superman” fame.

Shit.  I wish I were Henry Cavill.  I’d get so much poon.  Damn it.  Why am I so ugly and yet this guy wakes up every morning, looks in the mirror and realizes he’s got a license to print snatch?

But I digress.

To the film’s credit, there’s a main plot device, i.e. Cruise’s Ethan Hunt, despite a lifetime of espionage and intrigue, still maintains a moral compass.  He will never put a team mate in danger (Simon Pegg and Ving Rhames return as Ethan’s long suffering tech lackies, Rebecca Ferguson and Michelle Monaghan as his past and present love interests), even to keep a mission from failing.

Meanwhile, Cavill’s August Walker will gladly put a friendly down for the greater good.

That’s sure to make for a good international buddy cop drama.

The film centers around a plot in which various villains plan to set off nuclear bombs in the world’s holiest cities – Jerusalem, the Vatican and Mecca.  It will be up to Hunt and his crew to save the day.

One thing, and if you’re a fan of the series then it’s not really a spoiler, but as cheesy as the old “take a mask off to reveal another person” gag gets, it never ceases to amuse me.  I won’t give it away, other there was a point early on in the film where I thought the film was starting to look like it would be a dud, only for such a gag to happen, and make me realize it was actually going to be good…and it was.

A last thought.  For awhile now, I did think these films were fun throwaways, largely built around complicated plots that you forget and instead, you remember the stunts.  Instead, this film, and the last one, really do draw on a long, rich history, especially when you consider this series began in 1996…I freaking remember seeing it when I was in high school!

So Tom, I doubt you read this fine blog, though you should because you are missing out if you don’t, but I’ll just put this into the air – if you do only have one, maybe two of these films left in you, please make sure that they’re not only good but that they wrap up Ethan’s long life story.  Give him a happy ending, either he finally gets the girl and gets to relax, or he goes out doing what he was born to do – saving the world one last time.

Ethan might get his kicks hanging off of cliffs, but just don’t leave your longtime viewers hanging.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.

Tagged , , , ,
Jul 23 2018
Leave a comment
Movies

Movie Review – Father of the Year (2018)

I’m going to make this a short review.

I generally avoid Adam Sandler and Co’s movies lately.  They’re all usually straight to streaming on Netflix and they remind me of a brand of humor that was edgy in my youth, but seems, for some reason, like it doesn’t work today.  I hate to see former SNL faves getting older.

I put this one on just for something to watch in the background while I did some housework and ended up laughing a lot.  Maybe Happy Madison’s still got it after all.

Childhood best friends turned college graduates Ben and Larry (they are too young and irrelevant for me to learn their actor names) come home for one last summer in their New Hampshire home town before they head off into the real world.

Blah, blah, blah, shenanigans ensue, a bet is made that Ben’s dad (David Spade) could totally beat up Larry’s dad (Nat Faxon.)

Various attempts at a fight ensue.  Hijinx galore.  Ultimately, the main idea seems to be to stop trying to control your life because no matter what you do, your fate will be out of your control.  Ben’s dad is a total loser but is blissfully oblivious to his scumbaggery.  Larry’s dad tries to do everything right but is bossed around shamelessly by his wife and young stepson.

I don’t know.  Lots of gross out humor.  It’s funny.  Watch it. End of review.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.

Tagged , , ,
Jul 22 2018
Leave a comment
Movies

Movie Review – The Equalizer 2 (2018)

He’s like a one man A-Team.

BQB here with a review of “The Equalizer.”

 

It was a winning formula in 1980s TV.  Take someone with a “special set of skills” (“Taken” reference) and have them use those skills to help average people who would normally collapse under the weight of their above average problems.

The A-Team did it – Vietnam vets who returned home to wage war on crime.  And the 1980s TV version of “The Equalizer” did it as well, featuring Robert McCall, a retired CIA agent who uses his skills to help those in need.

Denzel Washington is back with the second installment in a movie series about that character.  This time around, he’s a Lyft driver, who travels the streets of Boston.  When he overhears the problems of his passengers, he can’t help but use his skills to intervene. Anything is on the table, from locating and extracting a kidnapped child to avenging an abused prostitute.

In this version, Denzel’s main task is to locate the killer of a former CIA colleague.  Pedro Pascal of “Game of Thrones” fame joins in the hunt as another CIA colleague who thought McCall was long dead.

I debated if this was the best plot for the film.  There are movies about active CIA agents galore and “The Equalizer’s” appeal is in him helping everyday people on his own, using the knowledge he gained from the CIA but without the benefit of CIA resources.  Apparently, someone involved with the production realized that, as side stories where McCall helps the helpless in his orbit abound.

This films are good distractions.  Enjoyable and sometimes it is life affirming just to get some on screen fatherly advise from Denzel.  Not every mission requires a gun.  Advice for neighborhood kids to stay off drugs and stay in school abound.  It’d be hokey if his advice weren’t so good, delivered from a man who has seen it all and knows how badly a person’s life will turn out if his warnings aren’t heeded. “I’ve seen it all so do as I say or fall on your face, it’s no skin off my nose” has been Denzel’s bag in a number of films for quite some time now.

If Denzel is reading this fine blog, and I don’t see why he wouldn’t because this blog is awesome, I hope he’ll consider a television reboot of “The Equalizer.”  I know he’s a big star, but stars just as big have found success in television and TV isn’t the end of an acting career that it used to be.  I could see a big budget weekly show where McCall helps a new civilian as a success.

Then again, maybe McCall doesn’t have anything to prove and Denzel doesn’t either.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.

Tagged , , , ,
Jul 05 2018
Leave a comment
Movies

Movie Review – Sicario: Day of the Soldado (2018)

Mexican drug cartels smuggling terrorists over the border leads to a clandestine war in this Fox News wet dream/second installment of a movie that needed a sequel like I need another hole in the head.

(NOTE: I’m not singling out Fox News.  CNN, MSNBC…I’m just getting my news from a talking parrot at this point.)

I liked the first “Sicario” film.  It didn’t get enough play, but it was riveting and snubbed at the Oscars.  If you missed it, (SPOILER ALERT) Emily Blunt played a Federal agent recruited into the CIA’s border war against Mexican drug trafficking, an effort headed up by a surly CIA agent (Josh Brolin) and an assassin (sicario) played by Benicio Del Toro.

I won’t get too far into spoilers, but if you recall, the sicario’s hatred for the cartels was so intense that there was no action he considered too far in the war on drug kingpins.  Del Toro’s character doles out all manner of punishment and in a climactic final (and ultra disturbing) scene, he may either goes too far and proves himself as evil as the people he’s fighting or is justified in that to fight evil you must out evil them.

Thus, it seems a bit out of character that the sicario goes out of his way to protect a kidnapped drug kingpin’s daughter in this go around.  Maybe the sicario found religion since the last film.  I don’t know.

As films go, it’s a good diversion, the special ops tactics are fun to watch but I think the first film really was a one and done.  Emily Blunt sold the film as the audience was able to get an intro to a whole seedy underworld through a newb’s eyes, whereas we’re sort of led to believe Brolin and Del Toro are going to take each other on over a difference of opinion but, well….OK I’ll shut up.

STATUS: Shelf worthy.  Worth a rental at best, or wait till it’s on cable or Netflix.

Tagged , ,
Jul 01 2018
Leave a comment
Movies

After a Second Viewing, The Last Jedi Doesn’t Suck as Much as I Thought

Hey 3.5 readers.  BQB here.

SPOILERS, although if you haven’t seen it yet, you don’t really care that much, do you?

As you 3.5 are aware, I really laid into The Last Jedi when it came out, calling it the stinkburger to end all stinkburgers.  In particularly, it bugged me that the Force Awakens set us up for hopes of awesome Luke/Rey Jedi training montages and possibility Luke is Rey’s father.  Instead, we got a bitter old Luke who just whines about all his problems to Rey.  Our hero, who we assumed would go on to be a lifelong badass just gave up on life and stared at the ceiling of a cave for 30 years.  Just didn’t seem like a good life for Star Wars’ most beloved hero.

But after watching it a second time and without the “WTF are they doing to Luke?” lens I watched it with the first time, I get it.

Two main points:

#1 – Lack of Communication and Assuming the Worst

There’s an ongoing subplot in which Poe challenges Admiral Holdo’s leadership.  When he learns she is evacuating the ship, he is angry, telling her that the First Order will just blow the escape transports up and she’s a coward who refuses to fight.

SPOILER – as it turns out, Holdo had a plan.  Once the ship was evacuated, she rammed the First Order ship at light speed, sacrificing herself but making a cool scene in the process.

A lack of communication is tearing us apart.  When we hear disagreement, we immediately assume the disagreeing person is an enemy.  We shut down attempts for the disagreeing party to explain their point of view.  We assume the worst and we assume any explanations offered are really just attempts to mask evil intent.

Holdo might have told Poe to shut up and trust her and avoided a mutiny.  Poe might have assumed his commanding officer had learned a thing or two in her movement up the ranks and trusted her.

In the real world, we see Democrats and Republicans assume the worst about each other every day when they could try to reach common ground and make some deals that might be beneficial to all.

#2 – We are Hopelessly Stuck in the Past and This is Ruining Our Future

Luke is stuck in the past.  He is paralyzed by the Jedi’s past mistakes.  The Jedi trained his father, Anakin, and in doing so, unleashed Darth Vader on the world.  When Luke sees the same evil lurking in Ben Solo, he thinks about killing Ben to avoid repeating the mistake that was made with Vader.  He doesn’t, but this display sets Ben down a bad path, turning him into Kylo Ren.

Was Luke wrong in not killing Ben?  Perhaps he did not learn from the Jedi’s past mistake.  Perhaps emotion made him avoid reason – i.e. ignoring the hard learned via Vader lesson that if evil is spotted in a Jedi trainee, said trainee should be sliced and diced with a lightsaber ASAP.

Or maybe Luke chose not to be beholden to the past.  A past failure with Vader doesn’t mean a future failure with Ben.  By being stuck in the past, Luke caved into past fears and raised his lightsaber toward Ben in anger.  Ben had done nothing wrong and was pre-judged based on a past he didn’t live.  Assuming the worst in people before they have even had a chance to become the worst might just turn them into the worst as a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Ben informs Rey she can drop her past, let it go and become stronger.  Forget about her parents.  There was nothing special about them.  Stop clinging to a hope that they’ll swoop in and save her and offer an epic story of why they had to abandon her.

Perhaps the real world advice there on a personal level is to stop trying to make your parents happy and make yourself happy.

On a generational level, it might be that everyone needs to hug it out and get a long.  Stop looking at each other as enemies just because our parents did.  Stop repeating the mistakes made by past generations and stop carrying their biases and mistakes into the next generation.

There was a part where Rey had a chance to join Kylo Ren.  Maybe the Resistance and the First Order are just two sides of the same coin – zealots who can’t let the past go, who are bent on carrying past grudges into the future forever, even if they must tear the galaxy apart forever.

I think it would have been a real coup if Rey and Ben had teamed up.  It would have been a fabulous cliffhanger, though I don’t know what a Rey and Ren vs. the First Order and the Resistance film looks like.

In reality, we don’t have to hate each other because our parents did.  We don’t have to repeat our parents’ mistakes because we fear change.  We don’t have to be stuck in ruts forever because of mistakes we made in our personal lives.

Conclusion – Don’t Throw the Baby Out with the Bath Water

Luke, and to my surprise, Ghost Yoda, decide that the Jedi should go the way of the dodo because of mistakes they made.  This seems rather Draconian and ignores all the good the Jedi did…and it also assumes that it is possible for any organization to exist with a perfect track record and that organizations should only exist if they only never, ever, ever make a mistake.  The second a mistake is made, the organization must disband.

Yes, the Jedi made Vader but they also defeated Vader.  Rey points this out so maybe in a way she is a voice of reason.

Real world application?  There seems to be a disturbing sentiment out there that because of America’s bad history, it can never have any kind of a good future.  Slavery.  The killing of Native Americans.  The list goes on and on.

Do we wish that equal rights for all had been established on Day One?  Yes.  But luckily, the mechanisms needed to bring about change via various legal and governmental process.  Today, we aren’t perfect, but surely we’ve come along way, even in the past 50 years.

America isn’t perfect but like an imperfect body, wounds heal.  The develop scars to remind us of past mistakes, scars which serve as reminders to not repeat past errors and to keep on a path that doesn’t open up new wounds.

America and Jedi have both made mistakes but to get rid of either because of past mistakes is to assume any and all replacements of America and/or Jedi will offer complete 100 percent perfection.

Plus, I just don’t think anyone wants to see a Star Wars movie with Jedi.  If the Jedi are gone altogether or are renamed the Knights of Gawooby Dooby or something, I think that will be the point where Star Wars jumps the shark.

Your thoughts?

Tagged , , ,
Jun 24 2018
Leave a comment
Movies

Movie Review – The Incredibles 2 (2018)

It was incredible.

BQB here with a review of the long awaited sequel to “The Incredibles.”

Wow.  How quickly fourteen years go by.  When I saw the original film in 2004, I was young, full of hopes and dreams and now, all these years later I realize that being the humble proprietor of a blog that’s only read by 3.5 people is the best my life will ever get.

SPOILER ALERT – before the film, the cast, i.e. Craig T. Nelson (Mr. Incredible), Holly Hunter (Elastigirl) and Samuel L. Jackson (Frozone) come out to apologize for taking so long to make a sequel, and then in a fun way, explain how long it takes to make an animated movie, from coming up with a story idea, refining it, drawing it out on paper, getting it into computerized animation, etc.  It’s all so complicated you are amazed animated movies, or really, any movies, get made at all.

As it turns out, 14 years was worth the wait.  This is a rare sequel that is good as the original, and perhaps even surpasses it in some ways.

The story picks up right after the end of the last film.  Superheroes continue to be hated by the public and the government, thought of as jerks who just get in the way and cause more damage to the city while fighting villains that the world would be better off just letting the villains take whatever they want.

However, Winston and Evelyn Deavor (Bob Odenkirk and Catherine Keener) don’t share this view.  Wealthy telecom company owners, this brother-sister duo believe that superheroes are the future and are willing to put up their money and public communication skills on the line to rehabilitate public perception of superheroes, all in the hope of changing anti-super hero laws.

SIDENOTE: I’ve always felt that the anti-hero laws of this world reflect the real world.  All too often, we bitch at people who are trying to solve problems because it’s easier than, say, actually rolling up our sleeves and trying to solve the problems ourselves.

Back to the review. The Deavors become the Incredible family’s benefactor, putting them up in swanky digs and funding missions for Elastigirl.  That’s right.  It’s Mr. Incredible’s turn to stay home and play Mr. Mom, helping super fast son Dash with his homework, invisible girl Violet with her teenage angst, and, to hilarious effect, corralling baby Jack-Jack, whose budding super powers have no bounds as the little guy is all emotion with no ability to control himself.

Meanwhile, Elastigirl dazzles in a particularly awesome scene with a special motorcycle that can separate apart as she needs it to.  Remember, she’s like a big rubber band, so as the action happens, her butt can be twenty feet away and the back half of the bike will detach and stick with her butt as needed.  Sounds silly, yet awesome on the big screen and kudos to the writer who thought of that.

There are many great action scenes like this, showing that Disney knows super heroes, Pixar knows animation, so more animated super hero flicks might definitely pan out.  As I recall, Disney’s other animated super hero flick, “Big Hero 6,” was further proof of this phenomenon.

It all culminates in taking on “The Screenslaver,” the villain who is able to control the minds of anyone who watches one of his hacked screens, with an underlying message that perhaps we could all use a little less screen time.

STATUS:  Shelf-worthy.  Lesson?  Take your time with sequels, Hollywood.  Resist the cash grab urge.  I know you’re in a money making business but put sequels on the back burner while you work other projects, and then when those sequels have simmered enough, move them to the front burner where they can satisfy our appetites with gourmet precision rather than fast-food speed.  The extra time taken here paid off big time.

Not to keep knocking “Star Wars” but keep in mind that absence makes the heart grow fonder and maybe even makes the movie maker’s mind sharper.  Maybe 14 years is a long time but a sequel, say, once every 5 years is like getting together with an old, long lost friend, whereas a sequel once a year is like that house guest who sets up shop in your living room and refuses to leave.  Sure, it was fun for a week but now you’d like to be able to watch your TV and sit on your couch in peace.

Other lesson – more animated super hero movies or, barring that, more animated any kind of adventure movies.  Live action hero movies are great, but animated films can really stretch boundaries and give adults something to actually enjoy while captivating the kids.

 

Tagged , , , , , ,
Jun 23 2018
7 Comments
Movies

Movie Review – Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018)

Oh God.  What a poopfest.

Let’s just get this review over with.  SPOILERS ABOUND.

The biggest spoiler is that it sucks, though maybe we should have realized this ahead of time as this is the fifth movie in a franchise based on an early 1990s film the success of which was good writing and acting paired with the first example of how CGI, if done well, can enhance a film.

Alas, the lesson was not learned that films cannot live by CGI dinosaurs alone.  While the actors do their best, the plot is like a 500 pound T-Rex turd – mildly interesting from afar, but big, smelly and useless up close.

At first, it feels like a bait and switch.  Our heroes, Claire and Owen (Bryce Howard and Chris Pratt) are recruited to save the dinosaurs left on the island from the previous film, from an impending volcano eruption.  I expected 2 hours of our adventurers running around with dinos in a race against time whilst avoiding incoming hot lava and am willing to ignore how our heroes did not learn from the previous film that Mother Nature decided long ago that man and dinos don’t mix and that the dinos should be left to be cooked because they can never be controlled.

Indeed, the first 20 minutes where this happens make up the most interesting part of the film, but from there it struggles.  I don’t want to accuse the film of a bait and switch because on a second glance of the plot, the trailer is honest about what the film is about and I suppose it’s my fault that I only watched the first part of the trailer.

At any rate, the hot lava island chase idea is cut short early and we are transported to the mansion of Benjamin Lockwood (James Cromwell), the never yet mentioned former business partner of Hammond from the original film.  Lockwood, Clare and Owen have been double crossed by Lockwood’s business associate Eli (Rafe Spall) and a merc (Ted Levine, who, as we all know, once famously asked a lady to put the lotion in the basket in “Silence of the Lambs.”)  His presence in the film is cool and creepy but doesn’t save it.

Blah, blah, blah the villains have brought the dinos to the mansion to be auctioned off to the world’s wealthiest reprobates.  Owen and Clare are left to escape the dino infested estate, and a dino fight in the bedroom of Lockwood’s granddaughter seems surreal.

It all culminates (BIG SPOILER) in dinos being released into the world and although that’s scary, it seems unlikely, as the number of dinos released is relatively small and surely the Army could have taken them out before they get too far and take over.

It ends (SPOILER) with Jeff Goldblum reprising his role as Dr. Malcolm, testifying before some kind of committee about the dangers of dinos and/or man’s hubris in thinking he can control the uncontrollable.  I felt cheated as I assumed Goldblum was going to be running around on the lava filled island, firing off quips to our plucky band of younger heroes.  Alas, his presence is just a quick cameo.

From “Star Wars” to this film, this “We’re bringing the old timers back!” only to have them move on and off the screen quickly seems lame.  Although Harrison Ford’s part in “The Force Awakens” is big, Luke and Leia were underutilized.  Here, I’m not sure why Goldblum isn’t given a bigger role as he seems to still be physically capable and his mind seems sharp so…beats me.  Money?  Who knows.

Hollywood, take a cue from Dr. Malcolm.  Just because you CAN clone dinos doesn’t mean you should.  Therefore, just because you CAN make a fifth sequel a very original, yet to be surpassed dino film doesn’t mean you should.

Yes, man was blessed with the ability to do a number of things, but he was also blessed with the ability to consider whether he should do these things and when it comes to dino movies…please, unless you come up with an original plot, very doubtful at this point, just take the cash you would have given to a sixth cash grab and green light something else instead.

The wisest among the characters in the series know the dinos should die yet the Hollywood suits, like their corporate dino company counterparts, just don’t get the point.

STATUS:  Not shelf-worthy!!!  Oh, it pains me to say that.

Tagged , , ,
← Older posts
Newer posts →