41) For years I have wanted to check out The Human Centipede just based on the curiosity factor, but I feel doing so will warp and twist my soul. Has anyone watched it and survived?
42) Sometimes when I turn on the news and hear stories about people in third world countries fighting over extremist beliefs that belong in the dark ages, I just want to be all like, “Hey, third word people, you know we have magic pieces of glass over here that show you all the movies and games you want, right?” Because, you know, you should all stop fighting and then we can sell you magic pieces of glass and then everyone will be happy and play Candy Crush. No one wants to go to war if they have Candy Crush.
43) I feel bad for pirates. So much effort to swipe all that gold only to inevitably bury it.
44) I have decided to run for the position of Official Comptroller for the Republic of Barbados. I have nothing wittier to say on the subject.
45) Why does Hollywood put crappy movies out in January and February? Why can they just, alternatively, not make crappy movies?
46) Is the Burger King a wise and just leader, or a cruel tyrant who presides over the burgers with an iron fist?
47) 12. Scientists have definitely proven that a man must walk down 12 roads before he can call himself a man. “The answer was just blowing in the wind, my friends,” remarked one scientist.
48) I don’t understand why people sky dive.
49) Knock Knock. Who’s there? Life. Answer it.
50) Does Kenny G like listening to his own music in the elevator?
Bookshelf Battle 