Daily Archives: May 9, 2015

PREVIEW TRAILER – Bookshelf Q. Battler and the Meaning of Life

Infamous Uber Nerd Bookshelf Q. Battler takes on the world - coming May 15 to a blog near you.

Infamous Uber Nerd Bookshelf Q. Battler takes on the world – coming May 15 to a blog near you.

ANNOUNCER:  Meet Bookshelf Q.Battler.  Geek?  Dweeb?  Nerd? These words don’t do him justice.

BQB:  Where did I leave my limited edition Capt. Jean Luc-Picard tea cozy?

ANNOUNCER:  And this summer?  HE’S GOING TO DIE!

BQB:  Damn it!  I haven’t even Netflixed Daredevil yet!

ANNOUNCER:  But he’ll come back to life as a man on a mission to answer life’s most illusive question.

BQB:  Why did the series finale of Dexter suck with the gale force winds of a thousand Hoovermatics?

ANNOUNCER:  Who’s the announcer here?

BQB:  Sorry.

ANNOUNCER:  You should be.  “WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE?”

BQB:  Damned if I know.

ANNOUNCER:  Bookshelf Q. Battler, aka BQB, you know him as the author of a blog with 3.5 readers…

BQB:  One of them’s my aunt!

AUNT GERTIE:  Oh BQB I loved your post about the pancakes you had for breakfast this morning, bubalah.

ANNOUNCER:  He’s also the owner of a magic bookshelf.  Put a book on it and tiny versions of the book’s characters will pop out and fight over limited shelf space.

BQB:  Guys, just once I’d like to get through one day without my headquarters being set on fire by tiny literary protagonists.

ANNOUNCER: But he’ll leave it all behind to travel to a war torn nation in search of answers.

BQB:  I mean, Dexter just drives his boat up to a hospital and then walks out with his sister and NO ONE SAYS A WORD TO HIM?  WTF?!!

ANNOUNCER:  He might even find a love interest on the way…

BQB:  Is it Katee Sackhoff?

ANNOUNCER:  But will our nerdy hero be able to open up his heart?

BQB:  Oh my God, just tell me.  It’s Katee Sackhoff, isn’t it?

ANNOUNCER:  It’s not Katee Sackhoff.

BQB:  Damn it man, who wrote this drivel?!

ANNOUNCER:  You did.

BQB:  Rewrite!  “And…then…Katee Sackhoff was all over Bookshelf Q. Battler like stink on a monkey…”

ANNOUNCER:  Friday, May 15, the journey begins on the Bookshelf Battle Blog, located at bookshelfbattle.com  –  Follow updates on Twitter (@bookshelfbattle)

Read along as our noble book blogger goes on a worldwide journey of self introspection.  We’ll learn a lot about him…including his real name.

BQB:  Bookshelf Q. Sackhoff.

Copyright (C) Bookshelf Q. Battler 2015.  All Rights Reserved.

Worldly nerd image courtesy of a shutterstock.com license

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,