ANNOUNCER: Meet Bookshelf Q.Battler. Geek? Dweeb? Nerd? These words don’t do him justice.
BQB: Where did I leave my limited edition Capt. Jean Luc-Picard tea cozy?
ANNOUNCER: And this summer? HE’S GOING TO DIE!
BQB: Damn it! I haven’t even Netflixed Daredevil yet!
ANNOUNCER: But he’ll come back to life as a man on a mission to answer life’s most illusive question.
BQB: Why did the series finale of Dexter suck with the gale force winds of a thousand Hoovermatics?
ANNOUNCER: Who’s the announcer here?
ANNOUNCER: You should be. “WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE?”
BQB: Damned if I know.
ANNOUNCER: Bookshelf Q. Battler, aka BQB, you know him as the author of a blog with 3.5 readers…
BQB: One of them’s my aunt!
AUNT GERTIE: Oh BQB I loved your post about the pancakes you had for breakfast this morning, bubalah.
ANNOUNCER: He’s also the owner of a magic bookshelf. Put a book on it and tiny versions of the book’s characters will pop out and fight over limited shelf space.
BQB: Guys, just once I’d like to get through one day without my headquarters being set on fire by tiny literary protagonists.
ANNOUNCER: But he’ll leave it all behind to travel to a war torn nation in search of answers.
BQB: I mean, Dexter just drives his boat up to a hospital and then walks out with his sister and NO ONE SAYS A WORD TO HIM? WTF?!!
ANNOUNCER: He might even find a love interest on the way…
BQB: Is it Katee Sackhoff?
ANNOUNCER: But will our nerdy hero be able to open up his heart?
BQB: Oh my God, just tell me. It’s Katee Sackhoff, isn’t it?
ANNOUNCER: It’s not Katee Sackhoff.
BQB: Damn it man, who wrote this drivel?!
ANNOUNCER: You did.
BQB: Rewrite! “And…then…Katee Sackhoff was all over Bookshelf Q. Battler like stink on a monkey…”
ANNOUNCER: Friday, May 15, the journey begins on the Bookshelf Battle Blog, located at bookshelfbattle.com – Follow updates on Twitter (@bookshelfbattle)
Read along as our noble book blogger goes on a worldwide journey of self introspection. We’ll learn a lot about him…including his real name.
BQB: Bookshelf Q. Sackhoff.
Copyright (C) Bookshelf Q. Battler 2015. All Rights Reserved.
Worldly nerd image courtesy of a shutterstock.com license