Daily Archives: May 29, 2015

BQB and The Meaning of Life on Wattpad

Are you a nerd?

BQB's editor, Capt. Bananas

BQB’s editor, Mr. Bananas

Do you like reading about nerd-ventures?

Do you have nothing else better to do?

If you prefer the on-the-go wattpad experience, BQB has been slowly but surely adding his epic journey to Wattpad.

Check it out here.

You’ll miss out on the funny photos and BQB is not as fast at loading the story posts over there, but it does load up in an e-reader type format for your phone, tablet, etc.

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Fit Nerd Trains the Yeti – Promo 2

THE TRAINEE:  The Yeti

OCCUPATION:  International War Criminal, Fuzzy Snow Monster, BQB’s Mortal Enemy, Currently Detained for Crimes Against BQB HQ

HEIGHT: 10’0″

CURRENT WEIGHT: 1,000 lbs.

HEALTHY WEIGHT FOR A TEN FOOT TALL YETI: 800 lbs (verified by Dr. Hugo Von Science, Distinguished Professor of Science at the Advanced Science Institute of Science University)

WEIGHT LOSS GOAL: 200 lbs.  Fit nerd will consult Dr. Hugo as to what a healthy time frame would be for a Yeti to lose that much weight.  Obviously losing too much too fast would be unwise.  He may need to even bring Alien Jones in on this.

ROAR!  I demand tacos!  ROAR!

ROAR! I demand tacos! ROAR!

THE TRAINER: Fit Nerd

WHO IS HE:  Once topping the scales at a point where he was just one stop through the Drive-Thru away from spending the rest of his life on a Little Rascal scooter, Orville Kerplotsky changed his life by dedicating himself to a healthy diet and regular exercise.  He wrote a book about his experience and called it, Fit Nerd.  In it, he outlines his journey back to good health and how he made exercise easier by streaming Dr. Who while walking on a treadmill.

ARE WE DEALING WITH THE ACTUAL FIT NERD? – No.  The real Orville is chilling in Malibu in a hot tub in Malibu with a bunch of supermodels who pretend to love listening to him babble about his theories vis a vis the good doctor.  Concerned about the Yeti’s health, BQB purchased a copy of Fit Nerd’s book, put it on his magic shelf and the tiny version of Orson that popped out has agreed to train the Yeti.

WHY DOES BQB CARE? – He blames himself for introducing the Yeti to a Western diet.  The Yeti used to live on leaf rations in his Siberian village but has since been on a steady diet of cheese stuffed crust pizza and bacon infused cola ever since coming stateside.

FIT NERD!

FIT NERD!

BQB’s Attorney advises:  This new feature will be a fun discussion about health but should you rely on and or take advice from a fictional nerd?  No.  He’s a fictional nerd for crying out loud.  Consult your doctor as to what health/fitness strategies would work best for you.

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Three Days Till Hatcher

Mark your calendars, 3.5 readers.

Jake Hatcher, Official Bookshelf Battle Blog Private Eye

Jake Hatcher, Official Bookshelf Battle Blog Private Eye

Project X gets a name and begins Monday, June 1.  Hardboiled 1950’s era detective Jake Hatcher will become a guest contributor for the Bookshelf Battle Blog, which should be interesting seeing as how computers aren’t exactly his strong suit.

He is 95 years old, after all.  Looks good for his age, doesn’t he?

Past meets present and our illustrious gumshoe will need your assistance.

BQB will explain what this new feature is all about on June 1 and then Jake will take it away June 2.

BQB and the Meaning of Life will be on hiatus for awhile, but will return later in June after Jake’s first adventure.

In the meantime, you can catch up on your BQB and the Meaning of Life reading or check out some of the Project X promos.

Detective image courtesy of a shutterstock.com license.

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BQB and the Meaning of Life – The Story Thus Far – Parts 5-13

“Plato says that the unexamined life is not worth living. But what if the examined life turns out to be a clunker as well?”

― Kurt Vonnegut, Wampeters, Foma and Granfalloons

Wowie zowie 3.5 readers!

Bookshelf Q. Battler sure is finally going to leave the Bookshelf Battle Compound!  What a historic occasion.

“I have to wait over a week for the next part of Bookshelf Q. Battler and the Meaning of Life?!”

And yep…we’re going to make you wait a week or so before you read it.

That’s because here at the Bookshelf Battle Blog, Official Internet Stomping Grounds of Our Hero, the Illustrious Bookshelf Q. Battler, we know you’ll want to take a moment to catch up and read the story thus far:

PARTS 1-5 – Our hero dies after eating a lightning infused pop tart, is told by Shakespeare to seek the meaning of life, and is revived.

Read parts 6-13 below (in which our hero recovers from his butt injury, Holmes and Watson offer their assistance, and as it turns out, the meaning of life allegedly rests in the brain of the Great Guru, who lives on the top of a mountain on a war torn island)

PART 6 – The Return of Bookshelf Q. Battler

PART 7 – The Butt Pillow

PART 8 – Troublesome Characters

PART 9 – The Game is Afoot!

PART 10 – Sell-Out

PART 11 – A Most Annoying Manner

PART 12 – War in Pango Tango

PART 13 – Young Duffer

Fear not, 3.5 readers!  You’ll be thoroughly entertained with a brand new story series that Bookshelf Q. Battler himself will introduce tomorrow!

 Surprised woman at her computer photo courtesy of a shutterstock.com license.

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