Daily Archives: May 20, 2015

BREAKING NEWS: My 1000th Follower is…

Tim Learn, author of the Chewy Noh series.  Check out his blog here.

Thanks Tim.  May you write many more books and reviews.

Here’s his Amazon Author page.

Thank you for following me even when a Yeti told you not to.  That’s true courage right there.

The rest of you?  Letting a Yeti talk you out of following me.  Boooo.  For shame.  Stop letting the Yeti win.

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The Writer’s Battle: The Twelve Stages of Writing Denial

1371251154-21)  This is the greatest idea in the world!

2)  Oh my God!  I can’t believe how the words are just flying out of me!

3)  And…crap on a hat.  My characters have hit a wall and I have no idea how to get them around it.

4)  Double crap.  I have new ideas to improve this but it’ll mean starting all over and adding/taking away certain details from the beginning.

5)  This isn’t as good as I thought. I’m going to put it down for a few days.

6)  This is garbage.  I should skeet shoot my laptop and never write again.

7)  Six months later – Oh.  Hey look.  That novel I wrote.  I’ll take a peak.

8)  Hey!  This isn’t that bad.

9)  Well, it might be a little far fetched.

10)  Wait a minute.  The highest grossing fantasy show on TV just had a scene with dudes trying to sell a dwarf’s appendage!  The world wants far fetched!  I’m going to make millions!

11)  Ahhh maybe I won’t make millions.

12)  This is garbage.  Smelly, dirty, raccoon infested garbage.

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Don’t Be Bookshelf Q. Battler’s 1000th Follower

Obligatory roar.

Stupid Yeti

Stupid Yeti

The Yeti here.  International War Criminal, Mythical Furry Monster and Bookshelf Q. Battler’s Sworn Enemy.

While Uber Nerd BQB strives to make the world interesting, I, The Yeti, work to make it as boring as my homeland, the frozen wasteland of Siberia, where getting an extra toilet paper ration is the most exciting thing that ever happens.

I’ve momentarily escaped from the clutches of my captor, Bookshelf Q. Battledog (Head of BQB HQ Security) to get on my Commodore 64, which, if you ask me, is where technology should have stopped.

All of these iPads and iPhones and iWhatevers.  Blah.  Too stimulating for the senses.

Anyway, last I checked, BQB had 999 followers as of a few minutes ago.

Whatever you do, please don’t be his 1000th follower.  It will go to his head and he will keep writing his nonsense forever.

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Bookshelf Q. Battler and The Meaning of Life – The Story Thus Far (Parts 1-5)

We die. That may be the meaning of life. But we do language. That may be the measure of our lives.

– Highly Celebrated Author Toni Morrison

Hi 3.5 Readers,

Bookshelf Q. Battler here.  I hope you’ve been enjoying my serialized story, Bookshelf Q. Battler and the Meaning of Life.  

Whammy mean I have to wait until tomorrow for more BQB and the Meaning of Life?!  I want it now!

Whaddya mean I have to wait until tomorrow for more BQB and the Meaning of Life?! I want it now!

For your reading pleasure, I’ve broken it up into brief chunks so you can read a little bit each day and still have plenty of time for work, play, family, fun and staring at those celebrities without their makeup on photos that Facebook is constantly throwing at you.

You know you look at them.  You know you like your makeup-less celebrity photos, you weirdos. 

Is BQB going to make it back to the land of the living?  Before we find out, now’s a good a time as any to recap what we’ve read so far.

Or to start reading in the first place, for you creeps who’ve been looking at the celebrities without make-up photos.  C’mon.  Priorities, people.

Surely, BQB’s epic journey is much more important.

PART ONE – A Toaster Pastry Too Far

PART TWO – Twenty-Three Skadoo

PART THREE – A Place Between Heaven and Hell

PART FOUR – God’s Waiting Room

PART FIVE – The Return Kiss

And there you have it.  You’re all caught up and ready for Part 6 of Bookshelf Q. Battler and the Meaning of Life which will be dropping tomorrow on bookshelfbattle.com

Tell your friends!  And if you don’t have any, make some friends!  And tell them!

Bookshelf Q. Battler and The Meaning of Life returns tomorrow!  

Copyright (C) Bookshelf Q. Battler.  All Rights Reserved.

Woman checking her computer and phone photo courtesy of a shutterstock.com license.

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