This episode of Pop Culture Mysteries is brought to you by the fine folks at Milton’s Reserve Brand Cigarettes. Mmm Mmm Milton’s! Now that’s a good smoke!
Hello. I’m Dr. Gus Goetleib. I come from a long line of doctors.
Dr. Goetleib for Milton’s Reserve Brand Cigarettes
My parents and grandparents were all in the medical field and I assume one day my children and grandchildren will be as well.
My patients always ask me, “Doc, how can I give my lungs a good workout?”
You know what I tell them?
(Dr. Goetleib sparks a cigarette and puffs away)
Milton’s Reserve Brand Cigarettes.
Why, Milton’s Reserve Cigarettes are hand rolled from the finest tobacco leaves.
They’re chock full of essential tar and chemicals and lucky for you, the flavor isn’t dulled down by those infernal filters the women folk insist on.
As a doctor, I can tell you nothing is more important than the need for your lungs to get exercise.
Smoking causes your lungs to perform their own brand of calisthenics, training them to be healthy and strong.
I won’t smoke anything but Milton’s Reserve and whenever I see one of my patients gasping for breathe, I light one up for them and tell them to give their lungs a good, hearty workout.
Perhaps you’ve heard someone say something foolish like, “Smoking is bad for you.”
Let’s be honest. That “someone” was a communist, a hippie, a homosexual or God help us, a commie homosexual hippie, wasn’t he?
Who are you going to trust? Some unwashed rabble rouser or me, a respected doctor who’s worked his own lungs out with this fine product (COUGH COUGH COUGH) excuse me…
Why waist one more second listening to some bra burning draft dodger who probably wants you to plant a smooch smack dab in the middle of Stalin’s pimply rump?
Take it from me, Dr. Goetleib. For a healthy set of lungs, work out with Milton’s Reserve.
Attorney Donnelly feels the need to mention this is just meant as a parody of 1950’s advertising and that smoking is bad for you. Don’t do it. If you do, don’t blame BQB. He has enough problems.
Bookshelf Battle 