How to drive like a pirate ye miserable scalawags arr
By: Special Guest Pirate, One Eyed Dan
Aye, 3.5 readers. Lost me eye I did to a rambunctious thief in a Jamaican port when he tried to come between me and me gold. He got me peeper he sure did but I got his life when I ran him through the belly and left him in the street to die like the lowly dog that he was.
The locals tell me it took the scoundrel three days to bleed out and serves him right it did.
I hear ye be on a voyage. Allow me to translate so that ye can travel in style like a true pirate.
TRANSLATION #1
Which way is the gas station?
Avast ye wretched animal! Require provisions I do so point out a reputable mercantile at once or I’ll beat ye about the brow with yer own entrails.
TRANSLATION #2
It’s over…
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