A set of twin jet engines propelled the metal container downward. Once the box was 20,000 feet above the surface of the earth, it broke apart, leaving the gigantic alligator inside free to twist in the wind.
“You need to roll fifteen feet to the right,” Kendra advised through the earpiece in Skippy Jr.’s ear.
“Raarga,” Skippy replied as he obeyed the command.
“I’m worried about Dirk, Skippy Jr.,” Kendra said.
“I know, I shouldn’t,” Kendra said. “But it’s like he refuses to grow up. Sure, he’s having a good time chasing tail now but if he never grows up and finds a stable relationship, he’ll eventually grow old and die alone.”
“Raarga, raarga,” Skippy Jr. said as he zoomed downward, scaring the crap out of a flock of birds with his hideous face.
“Well, that’s awfully presumptuous of you, Skippy Jr.,” Kendra said. “No, I’m not saying I want to be the woman who fixes him. I prefer my men to not be broken when I find them, thank you very much.”
“You see the way I look at him?” Kendra asked. “You are imagining things.”
“Of course I might stare at him once in awhile while he’s not looking,” Kendra said. “He’s a very good looking man but that doesn’t mean I want to hook up with a serial philanderer. Do you know how many women he’s been with?”
“Add a hundred to that and you’re in the ballpark.”
“I’m sure he is compensating for something,” Kendra said. “But I hardly need a man whose genitalia is a walking petri dish of disaster in my life. You missed the point.”
“The point is someday there will be a brave woman who doesn’t care how much strange has touched Dirk’s junk and I fear he’ll be so obsessed with finding his next female conquest that he won’t see what he has right in front of him until it’s too late.”
“Will you stop it? I’m not talking about me. At all. That will never happen.”
“OK good talk, but time to get your head in the game. Assume the position.”
Skippy moved his head downward.
“Brace for impact in 3…2…1…touchdown!”
Splash! A wave of dirty poop water poured up out of the Imperial Honcho’s septic tank as Skippy Jr. landed deep within his intended target.
“You OK buddy?”
“OK. Hang tight. As soon as Dirk comes up for air, I’ll let you know.”