Author Archives: bookshelfbattle

Happy Tuesday 

Have a good one 3.5 readers.

Movie Review – Ridiculous 6 (2015)

Times they are a changin’ and thus here I am with my first review of a movie released straight to Netflix.

They had these when I was a kid, 3.5 readers.  They were called straight to video and they almost always involved bad action.

Anyway, this one’s a Western comedy starring Adam Sandler and here’s the OBLIGATORY SPOILER WARNING.

You know kids, there was a time when hearing “Adam Sandler” meant a guarantee the movie was going to be hilarious.

These days, I’m a little torn on the “Adam Sandler sucks” argument.  I’m not sure if he, per se “sucks” or if the world has just changed a lot since his hey day in the 1990s and things people found funny back then aren’t what people find funny now.

After all, he’s never really deviated too far from the comedy formula that people used to love.

This one wasn’t his worst.

Sandler is sort of the straight man in this one.  He’s Tommy/White Knife.  Abandoned by his father (Frank Stockton played by Nick Nolte) and orphaned when his mother is gunned down, a young Tommy is taken in and raised by kindly Native Americans.  There, he becomes fast with a blade, earning him his second name.

Long story short, Frank comes to visit and we learn that he’s in trouble with some desperadoes.  He owes them $50,000.  They’re going to kill him if they don’t get it.

So our hero sets on a mission to rob only other bad people to raise the money and along the way, is joined by five men, each one, as it turns out, the product of Frank’s illicit affairs across the West.

I’ll let you watch and find out who the brothers are and who plays them.  Half the movie involves him meeting his brothers along the way.

I will say to my surprise, Taylor Lautner of Twilight fame steals the show as Lil’ Pete, the simpleton who was just on his way to the ice cream store when he ends up joining with Sandler.  He does a pretty great goofy voice which provides most of the laughs in the film.

There are a lot of cameos.  Steve Buscemi plays a barber who fixes every wound with a liberal dose of shaving cream.

Vanilla Ice plays Mark Twain, donning full Twain garb but still speaking like a rapper.  Seemed odd, though I wonder if the joke is that Twain was the rapper of his day, or rappers are the Twain of our day.  Either way, every generation has its share of writers pushing the envelope with their writing, though its done in different ways.

So let me put it this way.  Probably not one you want to trip over yourself to stream, but if you don’t have much else to do, it’s worth checking out.

 

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Let’s Talk Making a Murderer

Thanks Netflix.  Thanks a lot.

Got no work done this weekend, ended up binging on Making a Murderer instead.

SPOILERS!  SPOILERS!  SPOILERS!

Don’t read on if you haven’t watched it yet.  This post is meant to be a discussion for people who want to talk about the series…WHO HAVE ALREADY WATCHED IT!!!

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: I have no idea if any of the crap I am about to say is accurate.  I am just opining on the show.

So here we go.  BQB’s thoughts:

 The First Case – Penny Beernsten

So it’s clear Steven Avery is innocent here.  Testing that occurred years after his conviction due to advances in DNA testing methods indicated that the culprit was in fact Gregory Allen, a guy in the area who physically looked like Avery (same hair color, body type).

Allen, according to the documentary, had been known to local law enforcement, so much so that they kept him under surveillance.

Did the police act with malice?  (i.e. did they intentionally try to put Avery behind bars because they didn’t like him?)

There was the argument that one of the deputies was friends with a woman that Avery had run off the road and so on.

Personally, I think the issue might have been more about negligence – i.e. they found a suspect, they made it stick, and it was just too much of a pain in the ass hassle to go after someone else.

Is negligence better?  Well, it’s not great, and it thoroughly sucks that someone was wrongfully convicted.

At any rate, its impossible to deny the wrongful conviction.  The court set the conviction aside, Avery was released, even the victim acknowledged the mistake.

The Second Case – Teresa Halbach

A tougher case.

First, as the documentary starts to get into it, your gut begins to tell you maybe something’s up.  What are the odds of a guy wrongfully convicted of a crime being accused of another major crime?

  • Avery had become a public hero and a symbol for a justice reform.
  • The state legislature had been in the process of working on a bill that would compensate him $450,000.
  • A civil case was underway that’d likely have gotten him millions.

BUT…as much as the wrongful conviction sucks…people who have had sucky things happen to them don’t get a free pass or an excuse to commit a terrible crime.

In other words, your gut, or at least mine, began to tell me to keep an open mind on both sides:

  • Yes, it is odd a wrongfully convicted person got convicted again but…
  • It isn’t impossible for someone to be not guilty of a first crime and then be guilty of a second crime.

The Frame Defense

Hmmm.  This was a tough one.

This is where some may disagree with me but…

I don’t believe the officers framed Steven Avery.

Why?

  •  You see a hole in Avery’s blood vial from his first case.  You, like Buting, start to think, “Oh well, maybe that could have been used to put Avery’s blood in Teresa’s RAV4.”
  • OK…BUT – what about the fire pit with all the bone fragments?  And the barrels with all the bone fragments?

Someone tell me if I’m wrong but for the police to have framed Avery, they would have had to…

  • Dig into Avery’s life until they discovered that a photographer for Auto Trader was coming to the Avery property on a regular basis to take car photos.
  • Kill her.
  • Plant Avery’s blood in the car
  • Dump her car on the Avery property without the Averys noticing.
  • Burn her body somewhere else but then scatter bone fragments in a pit and in barrels on the Avery property, AGAIN without the Averys noticing.
  • Plant Avery’s DNA on the car key and plant it in Avery’s room.

BUT – Could someone else have killed Teresa and the police just took advantage to railroad a guy they didn’t like?

In my opinion, where the “Frame Defense” gets weak is the bone fragments.

Did the police have access to Avery’s blood? Yes. However, the FBI did run a test that showed some of the blood in the car did not have the testing chemical that would have been in the stored blood sample.

But ok.  Say you still think they planted the blood in the car.

How did the bone fragments get onto the property then???

I think if you accuse the cops of planting the blood, then you practically have to accuse them of planting the bone fragments too because if Avery didn’t do it then how else would the bone fragments have gotten there?

You could argue well some mysterious other murderer did it, then dumped the car and the fragments on the Avery property and then the cops were like “Yahoo!  We hate Avery so lets plant some shit to make this stick” but between accusations of cops planting a RAV4, putting blood in the RAV4 and then ANOTHER party dumping bones and making it look like a burning took place in the back yard…

…well, with all that happening I have to feel like the Averys might have noticed.

Was there a civil case?  Yes?   Were two cops deposed?  Yes?  Does that mean they’d go to the lengths of framing a guy?  I find that doubtful.  Cops, public officials, office holders, etc are sued all the time.

I’m sorry, but I just can’t envision cops being worried about a lawsuit enough that they’d frame a guy, plant evidence and somehow manage to either sprinkle the victims bones on the Avery property or benefit from some mysterious evildoer who did so.

So what the hell happened?

What made us all agree Avery was off the hook in the first case was the identification of another perpetrator.

Here, no other alternate suspect was found.

Brendan Dassey

Well, here’s where the case gets really complicated.  There’s another suspect and I suppose that means there’s room for theories that a) Avery did it and the nephew’s just a sap that got roped into it b) They did it together as the state alleged or c) maybe the nephew did it and Steven didn’t and well…while never Steven or Brendan came across as rocket scientists, I’m not sure Brendan could have pulled this all off on his lonesome.

The confessions are troubling.  Perhaps there should be a rule that kinds under 18 should always have a lawyer present during police questioning no matter what.

As a cautionary tale, if you’re a parent and your kid gets charged with something, insist you be there for any interviews and insist a lawyer is there too.

As for – is Brendan innocent?  I mean, he made statements he did it, and that he didn’t do it. He was clearly, for lack of a better description, not the brightest bulb, so yeah, he was probably manipulated into confessing and certainly the part where his own lawyer’s investigator is badgering him into confessing is troubling.

From the documentary itself, just as a pure question of whether or not he did it, I can’t tell.  What makes it hard for me is at one point he tells his mom something like he had to because Steven was stronger than him and then at another point he tells his mom basically that he just said what the cops wanted him to say.

In other words, in a very cloudy mind, his statements to his mother seem to provide the most insight into his head, and he made conflicting statements to his mother.

So who did it?

I think the bones on the property is the piece of info I can’t get away from.    The RAV4 on the property, the key in the room, the bullet in the garage, explain them all away but I just fail to see how the bones could have gotten there otherwise.

Does the documentary reveal a lot of things that law enforcement can do better? Yes.

But…absent evidence that someone carted a bunch of bones and spread them around Avery’s backyard, my gut tells me he did it.

Anyway, keep in mind I’m no expert and I’m just shooting my mouth off on a series.  Don’t take anything I wrote above to be accurate or correct.  Watch it yourself.

What are your thoughts?

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Tech Review – Amazon’s $50 Fire Tablet

Happy Saturday, 3.5 readers.

BQB here. So I did it. Due to the exceptionally low $49.99 price, I caved and got myself this bad boy:

(*cough cough* SHAMELESS PLUG! Follow me on twitter @bookshelfbattle)

OBSERVATIONS

  • It’s cheap. Can’t go wrong for the price. Now even people without much scratch can waste as much time mindlessly streaming media as the one percent do.
  • For $50, it does have a pretty good display.  Obviously, it’s not as good as a suped up top of the line iPad but its decent for the price just the same.
  • It is good for watching Netflix and/or other movie apps.  I watched a few minutes of Brick Mansions, Paul Walker’s second to last film (RIP Paul, you are missed) and it came through crisp and clear.
  • It’s got a camera, so that means you have yet another camera in your life to take pictures of your lunch and post it on social media.
  • Obviously, it is set up so that you’ll make the most of it if you sign up for Amazon’s services like Amazon Prime.  Click on music and it’ll try to sign you up for Amazon’s music service.  Books will take you to Amazon’s infamous book service (and ask if you want to sign up for it.  Videos takes you to Prime and wants to know if you want Prime.
  • But then again, what tablet doesn’t try to sell you on the tablet company’s media? iPad wants you to buy stuff through iTunes, Android tablets want you to buy stuff through Google, etc.
  • I am debating whether or not to drop a hundred bucks on Amazon Prime.  Access to a lending library, more TV shows, free shipping all sound like they’d be nice.  Then again, it could just be Jeff Bezos’ ploy to grab me by my ankles, turn me upside down and shake all the spare change out of my pockets.
  • BUT if you don’t sign up and/or pay for any stuff, its still a great little spare tablet to have in a pinch.  I can tell you, my house is full of people who feel the constant need to borrow my computer, my tablet, my whatever device I’m working on and it doesn’t matter what I’m doing with it at the time.  I could be two seconds away from coming up with a solution for world peace or a cure for cancer and some jerkface will bellow in my ear that he needs to play Candy Crush and there goes my device.
  • So in theory, this is a good spare.  But in a day, I’ve noticed that means its a spare for me.  No one else around me wants to learn how to use an Amazon tablet so they steal all my shit and leave me to use the Amazon tab.  But at least it’s a spare someone’s using, even if it’s me, while everyone else uses my shit.
  • Please, the Yeti, stop swiping my laptop.  I’m trying to write a novel so the Mighty Potentate won’t conquer the planet.  Here, use this $50 Fire tablet instead.
  • Finally, its up to you really.  Do you need this?  Probably not. The low price is Amazon’s main selling point.  “You were never interested in Amazon’s stuff before?  Well what if we made the delivery system cheap…you know you nerds will throw your money away just for a chance to check out a new piece of tech…”

 

 

 

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Amazon Dash Buttons

Have you seen these, 3.5 readers?  Sticky back buttons.  Put them around your house.  When you’re out of detergent, paper towels, gatorade or what have you, just press the button and Amazon will charge you and send you some.

Super convenient or the start of the rise of the machines?

Could this work for self publishers?  Every author sends their fans a button.  Push it when you’re ready to buy the author’s next book.

 

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Making a Murderer

Anyone watch it yet?

I’ve only watched the first half hour so please, NO SPOILERS!

Generally speaking, is it as good as everyone says it is?

I mean, so far, it seems like bad police work but as far as the show goes, its not blowing me away so far, though like I said, I haven’t seen much of it.

Does it get better?

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A Guide to the Bookshelf Battleverse

Bookshelf Q. Battler.shutterstock_275475362

Our humble poindexter’s life is so vastly complicated that everything you need to know to avoid confusion has been laid out before you as follows:

Part 1 – Bookshelf Q. Battler, the 3.5 Readers and the Magic Bookshelf – or, the Head Nerd in Charge, the people who waste their time on his schlock, and the mystical piece of office furniture that makes his life interesting.

Part 2 – The Magic Bookshelf Characters – aka the little people who are eating BQB out of house and home, when they aren’t trying to blow it up.

Part 3 – BQB’s Family and BQB HQ – Where BQB hangs his hat and the people (and dog) most welcome there.

Part 4 – The Aliens – The Mighty Potentate who has declared that Earth’s fate rests on BQB’s writing career (sorry, Earth) and Alien Jones, the being dispatched by the Potent One to watch BQB’s back.

Part 5 – The Villains – A yeti, a mad scientist, and an angry blonde chick walk into a bar…

Part 6 – The Funky Hunks – Your mom’s favorite rap duo.

Part 7 – Pop Culture Mysteries – BQB’s spinoff blog, which you should check out at popculturemysteries.com

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#31ZombieAuthors – Day 21 Interview – Al K. Line – Zombie Botnets, Literally!

Humor + technology come together to turn the masses to zombies in this series by author Al K. Line

Are we zombified by social media? Does it have a brain draining power on us? If all you had to do to not become a zombie is avoid Twitter, could you do it?

If you can’t, you might be a zombie already.

Check out this great interview in which Al came to my rescue during October 2015’s #31ZombieAuthors Interview Series right here on bookshelfbattle.com

bookshelfbattle's avatarBookshelf Battle

zombiebotnet

FIND THIS ZOMBIE AUTHOR ON:

Amazon      Website

Facebook

My guest today is Al K. Line.

3.5 readers, you might want to log off Twitter for a moment.

Al’s the author of the Zombie Botnet series. The mayhem begins when a devastating computer virus delivers subliminal data packets via social media, turning computer users the world over into murderous creatures.

A resident of rural England, when Al isn’t busy writing, he spends his time with his wife, sons, and dogs, the latter of which he notes he has too many.

Al, welcome.

NOTE: BOLD=BQB; ITALICS=AL

51wVI4sSyfL._SX295_BO1,204,203,200_ Q.  You’re the twenty-first zombie author I’ve interviewed this month and I have to admit, I honestly thought I’d of heard it all by now, but people becoming zombies via a computer virus? For the less tech savvy among us, can you explain how this works in your books?

A.  Sure. Ven…

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James Patterson Master Writing Class

Hello 3.5 Readers,

BQB here. Thinking about taking James Patterson’s Master Writing Class. 

Master Class is a website in which celebrities teach classes in their respective fields. So far they have James Patterson teaching writing, Usher teaching performance and Dustin Hoffman teaching acting.

The Patterson class comes with videos, materials, lessons, etc.  Obviously, its pre-recorded material. James Patterson isn’t going to get online live and teach you individually or anything.

100 bucks. On the one hand its a lot, on the other hand, its fairly reasonable when its something you enjoy.

Con – Not sure I have much time to devote to it. I barely find time to write as it is.

Here’s a review of the class by the blog Writing Unboxed.

If you’ve taken it, I’d love to hear from you. If not, check out the above info and let me know what you think.

Sincerely,

Bookshelf Q. Battler

World’s Greatest Nerd

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Hillary Clinton Says Earth May Have Already Been Visited By Aliens

No surprise to me, since I’ve been buddies with Alien Jones for about a year now.

Meanwhile, the Mighty Potentate is constantly backseat driving me. Don’t tell him I said that. I don’t want to be vaporized.

Anyway – I’m pretty sure Hillary was just joking but what say you, 3.5 readers? Do you think aliens exist?

An article in The Hill for more info.

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