Author Archives: bookshelfbattle

Movie Review – Creed (2015)

An aging boxer and his young protege, the son of his former friend/rival….

TRAVEL TO RUSSIA TO BEAT THE EVER LOVING SHIT OUT OF THAT DIRTY ROTTEN SOVIET COMMIE IVAN DRAGO AS PAYBACK FOR KILLING APOLLO IN ROCKY IV!  USA! USA! USA!

OK. So that wasn’t the plot. But it really should have been. Totally would have been had I written it. Maybe that’s why Sly never takes my calls.

Bookshelf Q. Battler here with a review of Creed.

SPOILERS AHEAD.

When it comes to the seventh installment of a film series chronicling the lives of people who beat the crap out of each other, “good writing” is a phrase you’d think would not come to mind.

You’d be wrong. Stallone has done it again.

When Rocky Balboa came out in 2006, I thought Stallone was scraping the bottom of the barrel then. But then I watched it. Rocky’s challenge in that film wasn’t to win, it was just to stay alive as an old timer in the ring for one last go around.

In that movie, he delivered a speech to his son that sums up the whole series, i.e. “life will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it.”

Rocky’s always been about trying.  Yoda said “Do or do not, there is no try.” Rocky said, “Try.” Shut up Yoda.

Anyway, move forward nine years, I thought Stallone was REALLY reaching by putting out yet another film but low and behold, he’s done it again.

THE SETUP: Adonis Johnson aka Adonis Creed is the illegitimate son of famous boxing legend Apollo Creed (Carl Weathers, who you might also remember as the only tough guy in Predator who didn’t go on to become a state governor).

He grew up in two separate worlds. After his mother’s death, he ended up on the streets, scrapping with the other boys and landing himself in juvenile detention.

Enter Apollo’s wife, Mary Anne (played by Phylicia Rashad – Mrs. Huxtable in a movie!) who out of the kindness of her heart, adopts Adonis, even though he’s the product of her late husband’s extramarital hi jinx.

But you can’t dump on Apollo too much for not being there for Adonis. Fans of the series know that in Rocky IV, Apollo died at the hands of that roid raging commie Ivan Drago, but Goddamnit, he died for America. He died so Rocky could challenge Drago to a rematch and win in the name of capitalism. Suck it, Soviets.

That was the last movie I remember Brigitte Nielsen being hot in, come to think of it.

Anyway, Adonis then moves on to the good life with Mary Anne, who lives in a mansion because unlike that dumbass Rocky, she didn’t let a degenerate moron like Pauly manage her family’s finances.  God you suck, Pauly.

All this leads to Adonis being very confused. He wants to step out of the shadow of a famous father he never knew. He wants to prove himself. Be his own man. He avoids using Creed’s name.

He wants to be a boxer but no one will train him…because he doesn’t HAVE to be a boxer. Boxing, as various people tell him, is a sport for people who don’t have any other shot at the good life. Adonis has a wealthy benefactor mother. He doesn’t need to get his face punched for a living.

Or does he? Financially, he doesn’t. Mentally, he does. He wants glory and thus he journeys to Philly and pesters elderly Rocky to become his Mickey..err, manager.

But it’s not easy to make it as a Creed.  Whatever success Adonis finds, people attribute it to a father he never knew. And there are people who want to take advantage of his famous last name. All the while, there are people who accuse him of coming from privilege which he views as unfair. Mary Anne may have saved him, but he never lost the hunger of a kid growing up on the streets.

There’s even a subplot in which Adonis falls in love with a female musician with progressive hearing loss…i.e. she’s trying to become a famous singer before she can’t hear herself sing anymore.  Stop!  Stop! I can’t handle all this sadness!

It was great.  It really was.  Stallone has gone to the well twice now in a series that by all rights, jumped the shark in Rocky 5 (the one where Rocky has a street fight with ‘Tommy Gunn.'”  Boo! Worst Rocky ever!

Michael B. Jordan proves his acting chops.  I’d like to see more from Tessa Thompson, who plays Adonis’ girlfriend.

I will say this. If its the last film in the Rocky series, its a worthy ending. If it isn’t, I have no clue where Rocky could go from here, though I really feel that my “Rocky and Adonis go to Russia to beat the shit out of elderly Ivan Drago” could be a worthy contender.

Have your people call my people, Sly. I’ll totally write that screenplay for you.

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Women 25-34

According to the fine folks at Facebook, the Pop Culture Mysteries Facebook Page  is doing well with women age 25-34.

Huzzah! I’ve broken through to the women 25-34 market.

Anyone have any idea why? Do women dig pop culture? Do they like the banner photo of my attorney, Delilah K. Donnelly, Esq.? Do they like mysteries?

Anyone have any idea how I can keep this going?

Thank you, women 25-34. Your support is much appreciated.

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#31ZombieAuthors – Day 18 Interview – Deirdre Gould – Maine Prepping and Self-Publishing

Happy Saturday 3.5 Readers,

So many zombie authors, so little time.

Deirdre Gould brought a new twist to the zombie apocalypse genre. “After the Cure” takes place, you guessed it, in a time “after the cure” for zombification is discovered.

How would society rebuild? How would recovered zombies (i.e. humans who became zombies and are now humans again) come to terms with what they did when they were zombies? Should they be forgiven? Can they forgive themselves?

Deirdre talks about her series, life in Maine (where prepping is more necessary than you’d think) and Hobbits!

bookshelfbattle's avatarBookshelf Battle

dg

FIND THIS ZOMBIE AUTHOR ON:

Amazon             Website

  Twitter

My guest today is Deirdre Gould, who has strategically placed herself in Maine, where cold temperatures make the zombies run slower and remote isolation means zombifying viruses take longer to spread.  Better yet, harsh storms make it so no one thinks Deirdre’s crazy for prepping.

In other words, she finds it to be a primo spot for writing the After the Cure series, which chronicles a world in which “the December Plague” has turned humans into violent, bloodthirsty, cannibalistic monsters.

I just hope they don’t eat me.  I taste awful.

Let me see if I can Deirdre on the space phone.

Q.  Hello Deirdre.  Are you a prepper and if so, I’ll ask the question I’ve posed to other prepper authors this month.  Why?  Are we all doomed or is it just a better safe…

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TMNT 2: Out of the Shadows

Hey 3.5 Readers,

I didn’t think the most recent Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie was that good, but the trailer for the sequel looks like its going to make up for it.

What say you, 3.5?

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BQB’s Serial Club – Serial Season 2, Episode 1 – DUSTWUN

Hello 3.5 readers.

Have you ever listened to the podcast, “Serial?”  In the first season, the hose, Sarah Koenig, presented the case of Adnan Syed and illustrated that how it is possible for all the evidence to be laid out in a case and for people to still be unsure of whether or not a defendant is innocent or guilty.

Koenig has a knack for storytelling style journalism and keeps things lively and moving.

Produced by the creators of This American Life, Serial is back for a second season.  This time the individual under scrutiny is Sgt. Bo Bergdahl.

You might remember he was a major news story last year.  In 2009, he walked away from his post in Afghanistan and six soldiers died while looking for him.

Last year, he was returned to the US after a prisoner swap with the Taliban that led to four major terrorists in captivity going free.

This is a tough one.  My blog is not political…at all.  But I do enjoy good story telling and Sarah Koenig is a master at it.  She definitely knows how to end every episode on a cliffhanger that keeps her audience coming back for more.

So here’s what I propose. If you’re listening to Serial, stop by here once a week and let’s chat about the latest episode, hash out the info and the evidence and try to figure out what’s going on.

Not gonna lie – I might pull the plug on this.  My hope is you all won’t get too political.  Were the wars in the Middle East right or wrong?  I hate this politician or I like that politician or whatever…not really up for debate here.

The crux of this season seems to be around Bergdahl telling his story and admittedly, as of the end of the first episode, it sounds pretty lame.

Briefly summarized – he claims he ran away because he had to create a “DUSTWUN” or a missing soldier situation in which the top brass pays attention.  He claims he had to do this because his unit was poorly managed and hoped this would get him an audience with someone with a high rank that could do something about his complaints about his unit.

I have to admit, that sounds like a pretty fishy story. “I was 23 and I was scared and so I made a dumb mistake and ran away.  I’m very sorry for the six people who died looking for me.”

To me, that would be more sympathetic than, “I was afraid my poorly managed unit was going to lead to people getting killed….so I ran away….um, and got six people killed.”

Anyway, let’s be civil (NOT POLITICAL) and look at it from an academic approach.  If you listened to this first episode, do you believe Bergdahl or do you think he’s full of a smelly substance?

I’ll say up front I believe he’s in the latter column.  My fear is that this guy is basically trying to save himself by impugning the character of a unit that tried to save him when he went AWOL (six of whom died in the process.)

And I get it.  I’ve never served in the military. Who am I to criticize anyone? But, like I said, I’d be sympathetic to “I was young and scared and made a mistake” but hearing him talk as though he is “Jason Bourne” strains credibility.

Cliffhanger for next week – um, it sounds like Sarah is going to call the Taliban on the phone to interview them.  Who knew they were even listed in the phonebook?

Check out Serial Podcast for more.

NOTE: To reiterate, please refrain from the nastiness of politics.  I’m not looking for comments to the effect of “I HATE REPUBLICANS!” or “I HATE DEMOCRATS!” and so on.

The podcast is interesting to me because, as she did in the first season with Syed, Sarah presents two sides of a case and leaves it up to the listener to make his/her own conclusions.

So in other words, we’re not talking about the politics of war – instead, we’re presented with a case.  A soldier walked away from his unit, got 6 people killed during a search for him, his release led to four dangerous people being freed.

Is Bergdahl guilty?  Yes or no and what about the evidence/interviews presented in the podcast make you think that way?

 

 

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Pages

Those pages at the top of this blog, under that big nerd, how do I arrange them in the order I want them?  Been trying to figure it out for a long time and am finally breaking down to ask.

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Fictional Blogs – What Do You Think?

Ahem.  *clears throat*

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Bookshelf Q. Battle Dog…in a rare moment where he isn’t licking his nose.

Going forward, the gist of “Bookshelf Battle” is this:

It’s a fictional blog chronicling the adventures of Bookshelf Q. Battler, a nerd/blogger/caretaker of a magic bookshelf. He is the proprietor of “The Bookshelf Battle Blog,” a site that caters only to 3.5 readers. No matter how many readers this site actually gets, in “the story” BQB only gets 3.5 readers.

While pursuing his dream of becoming a writer, BQB faces all manner of villains, yetis, a mad scientist, zombies and more.  He’s haunted by his deceased grumpy uncle and his alive aunt runs circles around him with all the debauchery she gets into.

He lives in East Randomtown, a burg filled with all manner of weirdos, degenerates, and losers, several of whom look to BQB as a leader due to the fact that he’s created a WordPress blog with 3.5 readers, which shows how little the citizenry has achieved. Others argue its the late Doug Hauser, who was an extra for 30 seconds in a 1980’s cop drama, or the late Leo McKoy, the man who’s 95 percent sure he delivered a reuben sandwich to James Van Der Beek at the height of his Dawson’s Creek glory.

In short, East Randomtowners have a tendency to crap on BQB only to then call on him whenever disaster strikes, and as one of few citizens with more than two brain cells to rub together, he feels obliged to save the day.

BQB and his girlfriend, Video Game Rack Fighter are a team.  They support one another in their dreams and goals and also in fighting the various crazies that come their way.

To complicate matters, a maniacal alien despot, “The Mighty Potentate” has deemed BQB to be “the Chosen One,” i.e. the writer who will one day publish a book so finely crafted that it will convince Earthlings to abandon reality television, that form of entertainment truly despised by the Potent One, who prefers scripted media.

To that end, the Mighty Potentate’s emissary, Alien Jones, acts as BQB’s trusted advisor, protector, and confidant. Alien Jones views it as a crap assignment, but sucks it up and does the best he can with it, but often feels dejected whenever he catches BQB staring at his navel and eating cookies when he should be writing.

BQB feels tremendous pressure to write and bring hits to his blog, due to the fact that the Mighty Potentate has declared that he’ll conquer Earth if BQB fails to write a glorious novel.

Finally, there’s a spinoff, “Pop Culture Mysteries.” Jake Dashing, a 1950’s private eye who fell asleep for 60 years only to wake up in modern times, has essentially been blackmailed by BQB.

BQB claims to know why Jake took such a long nap and how he can get back to his own time, but he’ll have to solve 100 pop culture mysteries first.  Along the way, Jake will share tales of actual mysteries he solves, from the past and the present.

<GASP> Oh my god that was such a longwinded explanation.

That last paragraph, I hope, is where the desperately needed effort to monetize this whole shebang will come in.

If the “Pop Culture Mysteries” blog takes off, Jake’s first novel will be about how he punched Hitler in the face.  If people like it, there will be more Jake novels in the future.

The Pop Culture Mysteries site can be considered a stand alone from the novels.  They are about Jake’s efforts to solve pop culture questions and to make it in a world much different from the one he’s used to.

The tricky part is the stories on the blog will refer to things that happened, whereas the novels will get into more detail about what happened.

You won’t need to have read the blog or the novels to enjoy the other.

MY HOPE: is that enough people like the Pop Culture Mysteries blog that they’ll continue with Jake’s first novel…even if it’s like a hundred people that might be a worthwhile boost.

MY FEAR: I’m setting myself up to write two novels – one being a “season” of posts on the blog and then a novel.  Should I just write two novels and put ’em up on Amazon?

And also…I love writing and its my passion but I want to do it right, even if that means it takes more time…so potentially I might not get a novel out in 2016.  I hope I do.  It could end up that I focus on Pop Culture Mysteries blog in 2016 and then get the novel out in 2017.

I worry about that because I know getting a novel out there is what I need to move this all forward so…I don’t know.

Advise me 3.5 readers.  Is my fictional blog/novel tie in a good idea or the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard of?

 

 

 

 

 

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Golden Age of Hollywood Interviews

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You’re an expert in Ancient Tinseltown, that era when movies just started
moving and every gal with a pretty face hopped a bus out west in hopes of becoming the next star.

Noir? It’s all up in your reservoir.

Private dicks and foxy chicks are your bag and your bag is full with tales to tell.

Jake Dashing wants to strike up a gabfest with you for popculturemysteries.com, see?

And as you consider this fantastic offer, keep in mind the following:

COMPENSATION – None, as Jake’s boss, Bookshelf Q. Battler, is as poor as a church mouse and twice as homely. BQB will steer his 3.5 readers your way though. Seven extra eyeballs on your Mickey Spillane action ‘aint half bad, kid.

TRUST – BQB has interviewed over fifty authors without a single complaint yet, plus he offers a guarantee. You don’t like the post of your interview?  Toot your horn BQB’s way to let him know and it will come down faster than a starlet’s stockings on a cast couch. No muss, no fuss, no problem. BQB goes out of his way to promote writers and keep them happy.

So whaddya say, mac? If it’s a thumbs up, let Battler know and he’ll get down to writing his questions, the answers to which you’ll write yourself so you’ll be able to get out exactly what you want to say.

But if it’s a big goose egg, that’s fine as wine too, Jack. No hard feelings.

Thanks for your consideration. It’s been a real gas, see?

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Who is your favorite Bookshelf Battle Character?

If we’re basing it on just pure number of views alone, then it’s Bookshelf Q. Battledog.  Apparently all I have to do to drive up site views is post more pictures of my man eating were-papillon licking his nose because the little guy has tricked everyone into thinking he’s adorable and not a trained furry, four legged ninja.

Who is your favorite character?

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#31ZombieAuthors – Day 17 Interview – Jeremy Laszlo – The E-Mail That Launched a Self-Publishing Career

Happy Monday 3.5 readers.

You never know where you might draw inspiration from, do you?

Jeremy Laszlo originally went the traditional route, trying to find a deal with a traditional publisher, only to receive an unintentional email from a publishing intern who was telling another intern about batch rejecting multiple authors.

Gotta watch those emails, especially the “Reply All” button.

Anyway, from that point forward, Jeremy realized it was time to take his destiny into his own hands and a successful self publishing career was born.

Oh and also, have you ever wondered who’d win in a battle against Orcs vs. Zombies? It’s Orcs, hands down, no contest as we learn in this interview.

Enjoy.

bookshelfbattle's avatarBookshelf Battle

jl

FIND THIS ZOMBIE AUTHOR ON:

Amazon        Website

Facebook       Twitter

Today’s guest is Jeremy Laszlo, the best-selling author of over thirty novels, including the Left Alive series, which chronicles the journey of Charles as he strives to make good on a promise to his dying wife to deliver their children to safety in the midst of a zombie infested nightmare of a world.

Jeremy’s works have broken the top ten of over ninety Amazon lists by genre, at times reaching the top ten of all books on Amazon.

Our noble scribe resides in Louisiana, where threats to his well-being include alligators, oversized mosquitos, and scorching temperatures.  Luckily, he avoids all that by chilling out in his air conditioned workspace, where he spends most of his time either writing or being boxed by children wearing cartoonishly large Hulk hands.

A pleasure to speak with you, Jeremy.

NOTE: BOLD=BQB;

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