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Feb 06 2022
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Movies

Movie Review – Home Team (2022)

Go team, 3.5 readers.

BQB here with a review of this family friendly Netflix comedy.

Based on a true story, this film stars Kevin James as Sean Payton, a New Orleans Saints football coach who, after being suspended for a year in the wake of the bounty scandal (players offered cash prizes for injuring other players on purpose) reconnects with his estranged son by coaching his junior high school football team.

Connor’s (the aforementioned son’s) team is the worst in the league, regularly causing the scoreboard to be shut down out of pity because it just doesn’t seem right when the opposing teams score so high when they barely get on the board. When Payton, just initially sitting on the sidelines as a Dad, offers a bit of advice that leads to their (literally) very first touchdown ever, the kids celebrate wildly.

Payton is recruited by Coach Troy (Taylor Lautner of Twilight fame) to be an assistant, though as a pro NFL coach, he runs it all, pushing the kids to be their best, but having to figure out how to straddle the line between winning and remembering these are only 12 year olds who can only be pushed so far and all the pressure takes away the fun.

This is an Adam Sandler produced film, with his wife Jackie starring as Payton’s ex and a Sandler son starring as a hotel clerk who drives Payton nuts. Sandler has apparently found a home on Netflix as his brand of comedy, once edgy in the 1990s, has become family friendly fare today.

STATUS: Shelf worthy. Typical sports film where an outsider comes in to shake a team of losers up and turn them into winners. My main criticism is the film kind of glosses over whether Payton was responsible for the bounty scandal, if he got a raw deal, or something in between. It goes into how he was embarrassed by it but it never answers the question of if he was unfairly accused and thus outraged or if he was fairly accused and thus learned his lesson. There is a brief moment where he says he was in charge so he has to take responsibility so I guess there’s that. If he’s responsible, should he get a tribute film? I don’t know…but if you’re looking for a mildly funny movie to watch with the fam, you could do worse than this.

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Oct 19 2020
1 Comment
Movies

Movie Review – Hubie Halloween (2020)

Well, I suppose I had to watch it sooner or later.

BQB with a review of Adam Sandler’s latest Netflix movie, “Hubie Halloween.”

I wish I could remember who said this so I could give them credit, and I’m going to be paraphrasing here, but I remember one time a reviewer likened Adam Sandler to a drug dealer in that both provide products that the public consumes and yet both never stop to think if they should. Ouch.

However, as Sandler movies go, this isn’t his worst, and if you’re looking for a film that will put you in the Halloween spirit without being too scary, this will work.

Sandler returns to his Waterboyish demeanor as Hubie Dubois, the constantly dumped on and made fun of town doofus in Salem, MA, which you history buffs may recall was the home of the Salem Witch trials in the 1600s and thus has been the locale of many a Halloween based movie.

Hubie is a man child, having never really grown up. He works in a deli and in his free time, he holds himself out as a self-appointed town volunteer, involving himself in this or that cause on the auspices of being a good citizen but ultimately, you the viewer quickly realize that this guy is so awkward and lonely that he basically volunteers for a reason just to come into contact with people.

His favorite time of year is Halloween and as the town’s self-appointed “Halloween monitor” he spends his days in October snitching on kids who are purchasing absurd amounts of eggs and toilet paper, lecturing school kids on Halloween safety and dodging all the various objects that townsfolk throw at him while riding his biycyle.

Long story short, someone is kidnapping townsfolk on Halloween night and it is up to Hubie and his trusty Swiss Army thermos full of soup to solve the case. Along the way, he’ll have to dodge bullies like Ray Liotta, Time Meadows and Maya Rudolph, collaborate with police officer Kevin James, and win the love of his high school crush (Julie Bowen who I recognized but wasn’t sure from what until I looked it up and realize she played Sandler’s love interest in Happy Gilmore and has still got it!)

I’ll be honest, I’m not sure who this movie is for. Sandler still practices that old school style of unwoke comedy though you can sort of tell it was run through a filter where various suits probably told him “You can’t do this or that or this or that and here’s as far as we’ll let you go.”

As someone who was alive during Sandler’s early heyday, I appreciate his style, though Im not sure many today still do…or then again maybe they do as this movie is ranked in the Netflix’s top ten as of late (at least, last I checked).

It does have some swears and some adult jokes, yet overall it is silly and childish so I can’t see adults loving it – it is Halloween based so you’d think it would be for the kids yet due to the aforementioned swearing and adult jokes, I’m not sure you’d want your young kids to watch it either. I believe it is PG 13 which seems about right.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.

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Apr 15 2017
5 Comments
Movies

Movie Review – Sandy Wexler (2017)

The 1990s are alive again!

BQB here with a review of Adam Sandler’s latest Netflix comedy.

 

It’s the last decade of the second millennium and Sandy Wexler (Adam Sandler) is the worst agent in all of Hollywood.  He’s a bumbling, incompetent boob with a wacky voice, big window pane glasses and all sorts of disgusting quirks.  He lies constantly, makes weird outbursts and can’t eat anything without getting it all over anyone in his vicinity.

His clients stink too, ranging from a stunt man who can’t stop destroying himself (Nick Swardson) to one of the creepiest ventriloquists of all time (Kevin James).

All that changes when Sandy discovers singer Courtney Clarke (Jennifer Hudson).  She quickly becomes Sandy’s first client with talent ever.  As her career blasts off, Sandy ends up going through the ringer of a town known for chewing people up and spitting them out.

This movie is a celebration of all things 90s.  The funky neon shirts, the cars, the popular products of the day, the styles, the pop culture, it’s all on full display, coming across as Adam Sandler’s love song to the decade that made him big.  Believe it or not but there was a scene that made me miss Fruitopia.  Mmm.  Fruitopia.  Do you remember Fruitopia?  It was actually pretty good.  I want one right now.

The whole story is narrated by a plethora of 1990s era celebrities.  Pauly Shore, Jewel, Lisa Loeb, Downtown Julie Brown, Arsenio Hall are just some of the big names of yesteryear that pop in, making me depressed that the decade I came of age in is so far gone now.

Oh well.  That’s the way the cookie crumbles.

Jennifer Hudson’s beauty and singing skills are the best parts of the film, leaving me to wonder why she is so underutilized in Hollywood.  She makes the film great but there was a part of me that thought, “This poor, classy woman.  She’s so much better than this.  She should be headlining major films.”

Oh well.  Maybe Hollywood will get the message on J-Hud sooner or later.

There’s a divided verdict out there on Adam Sandler.  If you were born in the 80s or before, you probably love him.  If you were born in the 90s or after, you hate him.  All of his movies usually involve him embracing a zany character and then following through on the character’s quirks to an eventual conclusion.

Personally, I love Adam Sandler, but if I’m channeling my movie critic side, I’d have to say that his two best films were Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison.  He had one great comeback with Don’t Mess with the Zohan and then it has been choppy waters ever since.

Thus, I think Adam has found a good home on Netflix.  Streaming allows his fans like me to find him without drawing the ire of millennials who take a look at the Sandman without being completely baffled about what he’s up to.

Then again, sometimes I’m baffled about what Adam is up to.  Hell, I bet even Adam is baffled.

Why is this man funny?  The world may never know…but he is….sometimes.  He’s kind of like your home team.  He wins some.  He loses some.  You root for him because you have fond memories of when he won some and you’re waiting for him to win some again.

STATUS:  Shelf-worthy.

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Jan 11 2016
2 Comments
Movies

Movie Review – Ridiculous 6 (2015)

Times they are a changin’ and thus here I am with my first review of a movie released straight to Netflix.

They had these when I was a kid, 3.5 readers.  They were called straight to video and they almost always involved bad action.

Anyway, this one’s a Western comedy starring Adam Sandler and here’s the OBLIGATORY SPOILER WARNING.

You know kids, there was a time when hearing “Adam Sandler” meant a guarantee the movie was going to be hilarious.

These days, I’m a little torn on the “Adam Sandler sucks” argument.  I’m not sure if he, per se “sucks” or if the world has just changed a lot since his hey day in the 1990s and things people found funny back then aren’t what people find funny now.

After all, he’s never really deviated too far from the comedy formula that people used to love.

This one wasn’t his worst.

Sandler is sort of the straight man in this one.  He’s Tommy/White Knife.  Abandoned by his father (Frank Stockton played by Nick Nolte) and orphaned when his mother is gunned down, a young Tommy is taken in and raised by kindly Native Americans.  There, he becomes fast with a blade, earning him his second name.

Long story short, Frank comes to visit and we learn that he’s in trouble with some desperadoes.  He owes them $50,000.  They’re going to kill him if they don’t get it.

So our hero sets on a mission to rob only other bad people to raise the money and along the way, is joined by five men, each one, as it turns out, the product of Frank’s illicit affairs across the West.

I’ll let you watch and find out who the brothers are and who plays them.  Half the movie involves him meeting his brothers along the way.

I will say to my surprise, Taylor Lautner of Twilight fame steals the show as Lil’ Pete, the simpleton who was just on his way to the ice cream store when he ends up joining with Sandler.  He does a pretty great goofy voice which provides most of the laughs in the film.

There are a lot of cameos.  Steve Buscemi plays a barber who fixes every wound with a liberal dose of shaving cream.

Vanilla Ice plays Mark Twain, donning full Twain garb but still speaking like a rapper.  Seemed odd, though I wonder if the joke is that Twain was the rapper of his day, or rappers are the Twain of our day.  Either way, every generation has its share of writers pushing the envelope with their writing, though its done in different ways.

So let me put it this way.  Probably not one you want to trip over yourself to stream, but if you don’t have much else to do, it’s worth checking out.

 

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Jul 25 2015
2 Comments
Movie Reviews

Movie Review – Pixels (2015)

Hey parents!  Remember all those video games you loved as a kid?

Well, they’re so old that they’ve become quaint!

Bookshelf Q. Battler here with a review of Adam Sandler’s action movie for kids, Pixels.

Even Pac-Man couldn’t gobble up the oncoming SPOILERS fast enough.

Movie Trailer – Pixels – Sony

Sometimes it’s hard to be Adam Sandler.

He wowed people in the 90’s with hits like Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison.  Those are two films that are still quotable today.

(You’ve never told someone something they just said made no sense and everyone is now dumber for having heard it?)

But then he made a slew of lesser films that fell flat and now he’s the point where everyone expects his movies will suck.

To his credit, this one didn’t.

If you’re looking for highbrow entertainment, then you’ll probably think it does.

If you’re a parent looking for a movie to bring your kids to that won’t bore you to tears, then you’ll enjoy it.

As kids, Sandler (Brenner), Kevin James (Cooper), Josh Gad (Ludlow), and Peter Dinklage (Eddie) once competed in a 1980’s video game tournament.

Back in those days, the lads thought the world would one day be their oyster.  Alas, they find life pretty disappointing as adults.

Brenner, who once dreamed of becoming a tech genius works at a Best Buy-esque home TV installation company.  Ludlow has become a wacky conspiracy theorist who still lives with his grandma and Eddie?  I won’t spoil it for you.

The only one who had life go his way was Cooper, but I won’t spoil that for you either.

Needless to say, the buddies who once believed their video game skills were useless in the real world become the world’s only hope when aliens attack using video game warfare.

Turns out, aliens aren’t that bright.  (Don’t tell Alien Jones).

Footage of the video game tournament was sent to outer space as an example of Earth culture in the hopes that friendly aliens would discover it.  Alas, the aliens take it as a challenge and develop real life versions of 1980’s video games to attack Earth.

Completely silly I know, but you’ll enjoy the special effects as Brenner and friends take on Centipede, Pac-Man, Donkey Kong and so on.

There’s plenty of celebrity appearances.  Brian Cox plays a cranky American general and Sean Bean plays his British counterpart.  Michelle Monaghan plays Brenner’s love interest/Army inventor of anti-alien video game technology.

Josh Gad steals the show with his antics until Dinklage steals it from him with his obnoxious, egotistical character.

Q-Bert becomes the Jar Jar Binks of the film but that’s besides the point.

Will you, as once said to Happy Madison, be dumber for watching this movie?  Maybe.  But if you suspend disbelief and silence your inner critic, you’ll be entertained.

But if you can remember a time when arcades were fun and popular, then you might want to skip it because you’ll be left feeling old…unless you’re feeling nostalgic.

STATUS:  Shelf-worthy.

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Mar 22 2015
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Ask the Alien

Ask the Alien – 3/22/15 – Pixels

Greetings Earth Losers.  Alien Jones here to answer your questions and The Esteemed Brainy One
pump your planet full of extraterrestrial intelligence.

Why?  No offense, but your planet is dumb.  Very dumb.  There are no words to express its level of dumbositude.  So very, very, very dumb.

This week I answer a question from none other than Blogger-in-Chief, Bookshelf Q. Battler, who continues to be a Yeti hostage:

Alien Jones!  BQB here.

Pixels – WTF?

WTF indeed, BQB.  WTF indeed.

Feast your vision receptacles on this trailer, insignificant humans:

Pixels Trailer – Sony Pictures Entertainment

Coming to a theater near you this summer…assuming the North Koreans are cool with it.

To elaborate on BQB’s “WTF” I will ask and answer questions I assume are on the minds of this blog’s 3.5 readers:

Q.  In Pixels, 1980’s era humans place a time capsule on the Moon which contains, among other examples of Earth culture, 1980’s video games.  The aliens misunderstand and take the time capsule as a threat of war and respond by creating massive video game characters, which they use to attack Earth.  The trailer shows Pac-Man, Donkey Kong, and Space Invaders attacking Earth.

Is it possible for such a misunderstanding to lead to an intergalactic war?

A.  Such misunderstandings happen all the time.  The Moloklaxons have been on a thousand year campaign, sweeping through the galaxy, taking one planet after another, all because an ambassador from the Intergalactic Diplomacy Organization broke wind in their ruler’s presence.  It wasn’t meant as an insult.  The ambassador had some bad tacos the night before and couldn’t help it.

Q.  But seriously, aliens think video games are real and respond with giant video game characters?

A.  Most species laugh at your video games because ours are so much better.  Few species would respond with war, though the Moloklaxons are willing to fight over anything.

Q.  What’s the point of this movie?  Is it serious?  Is it a comedy?  What the hell is going on?

A.  There are some serious looking Independence Day-esque scenes of monuments being attacked by video game inspired space ships.  On that note, it looks serious.  On the other hand, it stars Adam Sandler and it is about attacking video game characters, so it must be a comedy.

Q.  Is it going to be good?

A.  It will either be great or it will suck with the force of a thousand Dysons.  There will be no in between.  It will either be considered a unique and fun premise or will be Sandler and co’s attempt to run around with video game characters of their youth that sadly today’s kids don’t care much about.  Pac Man was fabulous for its time but today’s youngsters want Call of Duty.  

I fear young people will be like “Who’s Pac Man?” and old people will be like, “I’m so old because I used to play Pac Man!”

I will withhold judgment until I see it and will hope that it is excellent.

Q.  Is there a ray of hope?

A.  It stars Peter Dinklage in a role where he is not Tyrion Lannister.  He is always great as Tyrion but this will give him a chance to branch out.

Thank you for your time, 3.5 readers.  Kim Magennis, loyal Bookshelf Battle fan and proprietor of the Whimsy Blog  submitted some questions.  I have been a bit swamped this week, what with my ongoing diplomatic efforts to convince various worlds to stop trying to annihilate one another.  I will definitely get to those next week.

Alien Jones is the Intergalactic Correspondent for the Bookshelf Battle. Do you have a question for the Esteemed Brainy One? Submit it to Bookshelf Q. Battler via a tweet to @bookshelfbattle, leave it in the comment section on this site, or drop it off on the Bookshelf Battle Google + page. If AJ likes your question, he might promote your book, blog, or other project while providing his answer.

Submit your questions by midnight Friday each week for a chance to be featured in his Sunday column. And if you don’t like his response, just let him know and he’ll file it into the recycling bin of his monolithic super computer. No muss, no fuss, no problem.

Alien Image Courtesy of “Marauder” on openclipart.org

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