Tag Archives: science

Intergalactic Awesomeness

By:  Alien Jones (Special Guest Contributor)

Greetings pathetic 3.5 human readers.

Do not attempt to adjust your computer.  I have taken control of bookshelfbattle.com

Alien Jones, Special Guest Contributor

Alien Jones, Special Guest   Contributor to bookshelfbattle.com

To pronounce my name would require you to rub sandpaper on your tongue for three hours and then stretch it out while a musician strums it like a ukulele string.  Neither of us have time for that, so you may simply refer to me as “Alien Jones.”

This name was carefully selected after I asked the computer on my spaceship to determine a name that the insignificant human mind could wrap itself around.  It came down to either “Alien Jones” or “Goofy Space Man.”  I selected the most dignified option of the two.

Do not embarrass yourself by asking what planet I hail from.  By edict of my emperor, I am forbidden to tell you.  My home world has passed legislation known as the “Keep the Humans from Finding Us So Our Airwaves Are Not Filled with Reality Television Act.”  Violation will result in me being slapped unconscious with my own ganderflazer.

First and foremost, I’d like to take this opportunity to share a public service announcement.  My home world banned the practice of human probing over a thousand years ago, in the year you would refer to as 1015 A.D.  At that time, our revered team of scientists and medical doctors announced they had discovered all there is to be learned through endoscopic exploration of human nether regions.

The practice was banned but, alas, even a highly intelligent species such as mine is not without its weirdoes. Rogue aliens have been conducting their own unsanctioned probing missions to your planet for an entire millennium.  Many of you simple folk have been duped into being willing participants.

Therefore, please be aware that if an alien demands to probe you in the name of intergalactic science, he is acting alone and not under the authority of the emperor of my home world.  You may comply if you so choose, or you may beat him with his own ganderflazer.  The decision is entirely yours.

Now that I have dispensed with the pleasantries, I shall explain why I have briefly taken control of this blog.

I am not going to sugar coat it, Earth.  You dudes are really screwing the pooch.  You have a planet capable of sustaining life.  Many species, including my own, recognize this miracle and act accordingly.  You people?

Compare the accomplishments of my world vs. yours:

MEDICINE

MY WORLD:  Our scientists have eradicated all diseases and remedied all bodily maladies.  We live happy, pain free lives.  Hospitals are non-existent as they are no longer necessary.

EARTH:  Has yet to cure cancer or heart disease, yet erectile dysfunction pills are in abundant supply.  Prioritize much, losers?

TECHNOLOGY

MY WORLD:  All media is downloaded directly to our brains.

EARTH:  The device you call an iPad was used by our prehistoric cave aliens to wipe their expectorant holes.  We felt sorry for you nimrods, watching you tether yourselves to your televisions and computers that we decided to throw you a bone and beam the idea into the brain of  renowned computer scientist, Mr. Steven Jobs.

TRANSPORTATION

MY WORLD:  We have mastered intergalactic space travel.

EARTH:  You people have barely mastered the Pontiac Aztec.

ENTERTAINMENT

MY WORLD:  We have developed 4D television which allows you to enter and live as a character in your favorite program.

EARTH:  Breaking Bad.  OK.  We will give you that one.

Aside from Breaking Bad, an idea we totally beamed into the mind of Mr. Vincent Gilligan, your planet is really stinking up the universe, Earthlings.

And to help you unstink yourselves, we beamed the idea to create this blog straight into the mind of Bookshelf Q. Battler.  Yes, this site is an ongoing chronicle of one man’s love of books, movies, media, writing, and tales from his magic bookshelf.

But we zapped the idea to create this blog into Mr. Bookshelf’s mind.  We even implanted him with the idea to blog once a day for a year.

Why?

Because we have identified Bookshelf Q. Battler as the most awesome dude on your planet, and frankly, given the pool of talent you’ve got down there, that isn’t saying much.  Even so, this guy is pretty awesome, so you should all listen to him….and follow his blog…and follow his twitter…and follow him on Google Plus…and sing songs of his awesomeness from the rooftops.  Also, bake him chocolate chip cookies.

Are you still unconvinced?  Here is a smattering of what the most awesome individual on your pitiful planet has been up to lately:

When the F$%k Should Your Characters Swear? – Yes.  Delightful.  The worst swear in my language would require you to pull out your tongue and jump rope with it.  You could never pronounce it and I certainly hope you never encounter a situation in which you deem it necessary to utter it.

A Review of Birdman – Even we aliens agree Michael Keaton was robbed. 1989 Batman forever!

A Response from the Yeti – Do you know any other bloggers willing to fight a snow beast just to blog for you?  I thought not.

Those are just three of the best posts written by Bookshelf Q. Battler this month.  I could go on and on all day about the awesomeness he has put into the universe over the past year.

And to help him garner the attention of more than a paltry 3.5 readers, I will, from time to time, take control of this blog through my space ship’s super computer and remind you of his latest contributions to your planet’s supply of cool stuff.

Your planet is lagging, Earthlings.  Bookshelf Q. Battler will help you catch up.  Continue to follow his blog, and maybe one day we will allow your species to sit at the intergalactic adults’ table.

Thank you for reading.  You may now return to your programs about Kardashians and pizzas with crusts stuffed with cheese, as if you all aren’t portly enough already.

Alien Image Courtesy of “Marauder” on openclipart.org

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Let’s Talk Sci-Fi – What’s the Difference Between an Android and a Robot?

Gonna go out on a limb here and guess this is a robot.

Gonna go out on a limb here and guess this is a robot.

Geeks, dweebs, nerds, and poindexters of the world, assemble, for I have a doozy of a question for you.

What is the difference between an Android and a Robot?

As we’ve previously discussed, I’m working on a science fiction novel, and seeking the advice of nerds everywhere for help.  Don’t be offended by being called a nerd.  It’s a badge of honor, really.  Frankly, who wants advice about robotics from a non-nerd?

This is total nerd stuff, baby.

I find that in the science fiction world, the words “android” and “robot” are often used interchangeably.  But should that be the case?

The best advice I’ve found thus far:

“A robot can, but does not necessarily have to be in the form of a human, but an android is always in the form of a human.”

– Edmond Woychowsky, TechRepublic – “The Difference Between Robots and Androids, 2010

Click here for Woychowsky’s Full Article

Well, wait a minute.  That sounds simple enough at first, but what about C3P0?  He and his buddy RD2D are invariably referred to as “droids” in the Star Wars universe.  Haven’t you heard the infamous line from Obi-Wan Kenobi, “These aren’t the droids you’re looking for?”

C3P0 has a torso, arms, legs, a face with eyes, he is definitely modeled after a human, but he’s also built out of a golden colored metal, his arms and legs only move so much, his eyes are pretty much just sockets, and there’s just a slit where his mouth should be.

That’s not exactly a human, is it?  What did Edmond have to say?

“It can be argued that an android should be able to pass as a human in natural light. So, if you subscribe to this belief, C-3PO from Star Wars and R. Giskard Reventlov from Isaac Asimov’s The Robots of Dawn are robots, not androids.”

Seriously?  So George Lucas got something wrong?  In addition to Jar Jar???

So, if you take this android vs. robot information seriously, then C3P0 is a robot.  The robots from the film I, Robot, starring Will Smith, are robots (that’s a given, since they didn’t call it, I, Android).

Rosie, the Jetson family’s maid, is a robot.  C3P0, Rosie, and the I, Robot bots, all might have human-inspired designs, but if you were to see them, you would say, “Hey, that’s a robot!”

Apparently, the question of whether an “artificial being” is a robot or an android boils down to whether or not you can tell when you first meet said being.  As Woychowsky notes, Data from Star Trek: Next Generation, does appear to be a human, “albeit with an odd complexion.”

As an additional example, I would submit that Ash from the original Alien movie is an android.  He was so passable as a human that this is actually a major plot point of the film – he was passing as a crew member but in secret, was an android with a special mission.  For part of the film, the audience doesn’t even know he’s not a human.

So what say you, readers?  I need your nerdy opinions, because the novel I am working on, and sadly, procrastinating on, might feature robots, or it might feature androids, but I want to make sure I’m using the right terminology so that my nerd credentials are not questioned.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Let’s Talk Sci-Fi – How Much Tech Explanation Do You Really Want?

I think we need to transport Ann and John into the future.

If you’ve yet to hear of them, and why have you, when I only have three readers, Ann and John are my go-to fictional power couple that I use whenever I have questions about writing.  You can catch some of their past misadventures in :

Ann and John Explore Copyrights

Ann and John and Accents/Non-English Speakers

So now, let’s transport Ann and John to the year 2200, through a time machine.  The three people who regularly read my blog, my Aunt Gertrude being one of them (hi Gertie), know that Ann and John inevitably end up battling a strangler.  So behold, I give you – Bay Area Strangler III – Curse of the Robostrangler

So let’s start with a basic question.  As a reader, how technically detailed do you want me to get when it comes to future tech?  For example, take this scene that involves a robot:

EXTREMELY DETAILED

“We need you, Ann and John,”  said General Jones as he lead the the world’s most notorious strangler hunting detectives into a secret laboratory deep below the Pentagon.  “We’ve received a communication from the future.  It’s a bleak world where the population has been decimated.”

“How could such a thing happen?”  Ann asked.

“Robostrangler,” the General said.  “Initially designed by Alpha Tech Corp in 2075 to provide neck massages to elderly nursing home shut-ins, his Nano Brain Chip malfunctioned.  A nano brain chip provides both acceleration and deceleration of higher brain functions, creating a complex system of reactions, both positive and negative, and when mixed together through the funnel apparatus of a concave refractal interior nano scope, a robot’s artificial mind is able to replicate basic human functions.  Unfortunately, Alpha Tech failed to realize that its product could replicate feelings found in the most evil of humans, and alas, Robomassager turned into Robostrangler.”

Compare with:

LESSER DETAIL

“We need you, Ann and John,” said General Jones as he lead the the world’s most notorious strangler hunting detectives into a secret laboratory deep below the Pentagon. “We’ve received a communication from the future. It’s a bleak world where the population has been decimated.”

“How could such a thing happen?” Ann asked.

“Robostrangler,” the General said. “Initially designed and marketed as Robomassager by Alpha Tech Corp in 2075 to provide neck massages to elderly nursing home shut-ins, his Nano Brain Chip malfunctioned, turning him into Robostrangler. Now he’s gone berserk and strangling everyone he sees.”

Which version do you prefer?  Personally, I like the second one.  Admittedly, I made the explanation up in the first one.  I suppose if I really wanted to get detailed, I’d have to do some serious research into how robot brains work and how they could theoretically turn evil.  But, as a reader, do you really have the time to care?  Isn’t, “the damn robot went nuts!” enough?  I submit that’s enough.

Let’s talk time machines:

LOTS OF TECH DETAIL

General Jones showed Ann and John the X21 Time Closet.

“This device has the ability to destabilize your bodily particles, eject them into the cosmos, send them hurtling to any time, past or present, where they will then materialize.  Once you’re in the future, you’ll be on your own against Robostrangler.”

Compare with:

PRETTY MUCH NO EXPLANATION

General Jones led Ann and John into the X21 Time Closet.  He set the date for Jan. 1 2200 and Ann and John instantly found themselves in a dystopian world where strangled corpses littered the streets, and the Robostrangler reigned supreme.

I’m torn here.  I feel the destablize/materialize your particles was enough of an explanation of what’s going on without getting into the theoretical science of Star Trekian “Beaming” technology.

So those are just some examples, using my old friends A and J.  The main question – when the author introduces a newfangled sci-fi gadget, do you want a detailed explanation of how it works, or should the author just make it work?

My 2 cents – I just like to see it work, because hell, I have no idea how have the shit in existence in my life now works, let alone how future shit will operate.  You can explain to me a million times how this damn computer in front of me works and yet the best I can come up with is that each time I press a key on the keyboard, a tiny gremlin is poked in the ass, causing it to etch a letter on my screen.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Let’s Talk Sci-Fi – Flying Cars

Attention Sci Fi Nerds of the World,

I’m working on a sci-fi book idea and it is a new experience for me.  So for the next week or so, I’m going to pop in to ask you, the sci-fi nerds of the world, to answer some questions.

Here’s my first one – the flying car – beloved Sci-Fi must-have or outdated trope?

My personal opinion – there are a lot of people, right now, who shouldn’t even be behind the wheel of a regular land car, do we really want them in the equivalent of a small, personal spacecraft?   People would literally drive into buildings every 2 seconds.  And if your mechanic doesn’t check everything, your car is going to drop out of the sky.

Plus, wouldn’t people crash their flying cars into each other constantly?  Is every flying car going to be equipped with some kind of satellite monitoring so they can detect when another car is near so there isn’t a crash?

On the other hand, hey, let’s be honest, they’re cool, and who knows?  Tech might evolve one day to the point where they’re feasible and even idiots can drive them with a minimal amount of damage.

My sci-fi world will most likely have flying cars.  As a potential reader, is that cool or infuriating?

Discuss.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Movie Review – Science, Space Exploration and Interstellar (2014)

WARNING:  There are spoilers in this post that stretch the boundaries of space and time.  For every hour you spend reading this, you may actually be receiving seven years of spoilers!

THE BOOKSHELF FROM THE INTERSTELLAR MOVIE

As promised, I’m back with a review of the film Interstellar starring Matthew McConaughey and Anne Hathaway.  Here’s a fun anonomaly:  the other day I posted the text of “Do Not Go Gentle Into That Goodnight” by Dylan Thomas, a poem that features prominently in that film.

There’s a scene at the end that involves messages being sent through space in time via a bookshelf and well, because this blog’s name is “Bookshelf Battle” and I had a post about Interstellar, I saw a surge in web traffic from people googling things like “bookshelf and interstellar” or “what’s the deal with the bookshelf in interstellar?” or similar searches.  Totally coincidental.  I would never purposely try to move traffic to my site by mentioning “bookshelf” and “interstellar” a bunch of times on my site because honestly, what would be the point of going on all day about the bookshelf from the Interstellar movie?  Frankly, it would be ridiculous to keep going on and on about the bookshelf in the Interstellar and to mention the bookshelf from the Interstellar movie would just be a sad attempt to drive up web hits – so believe you me this will be the last time that I’ll mention the bookshelf from the Interstellar movie.

Bookshelf.  Bookshelf.  Bookshelf.  Interstellar.  Interstellar.  Interstellar.

A CONCEIVABLE FUTURE

I’ve noticed a trend in modern science fiction – namely, to introduce inventions that aren’t around today but to do so in a conceivable manner.  The science fiction of the past dreamed of a day with flying cars and people walking around in funny looking aluminum suits.  For some reason, people in the 1950’s thought that aluminum clothing would be very popular by now.

Interstellar presents technology that we don’t have yet, but said technology is relatable given the way it is presented.  For example, the film features robots with artificial intelligence, but they look like walking/talking ATM machines, not metallic humanoids ala Terminator.

Meanwhile, the ship used looks essentially like a larger version of the Space Shuttle rather than the U.S.S. Enterprise.

The premise of the film?  The Earth is on the way out.  Centuries of abuse and excess have withered the planet’s resources, caused widespread blight and famine, and ruined the economy.  McConaughey plays Cooper, a former engineer and NASA test pilot who only briefly dipped his toe into a space exploration career when the world went into a decline.  His community is relatively stable and he eeks out a living as a farmer, living with his two kids, Murph and Tom, and his father-in-law.  His wife died from an ailment that normally would have been treated in better times.

Cooper isn’t a big fan of the farm life – he regrets never having had the chance to explore space and laments that civilization collapsed before he could do so.  Cooper’s father-in-law, played by John Lithgow, is the yin to Cooper’s yang, lecturing him about how “the world is not enough for him” and how that kind of thinking led to the downfall of the human race – i.e. so many people on a planet with a limited supply of resources and each person is never happy with what they have – they always want more.

There’s probably a lesson for world leaders to think about when considering how to best protect and care for the environment.  Also, Cooper training for a career that he never got to have is certainly a problem that many of today’s college graduates can relate to.

A timeframe of when the movie takes place is not provided, though I got the impression it takes places at a time when today’s millenials have become the grandparents, so maybe 2050-2060 or so?  Just a guess.

 

THE SCIENCE OF SPACE EXPLORATION

Long story short, Dr. Brand, played by Michael Caine, recruits Cooper to use his underutilized pilot skills to go on a desperate mission – fly through a recently discovered wormhole and find a new, habitable planet for the human race.  The humans will probably be good to the new planet for a year or two then proceed to mine and drill the crap out of it all in the name of cheaper iPads and dollar discount Wal-Mart merchandise but that goes beyond the parameters of the film.

He teams up with Anne Hathaway, Dr. Brand’s daughter, who is, herself, another Dr. Brand.  Also, there are two miscellaneous astronauts whose names I neglected to learn because they buy the farm early in the film.

If  you’re a nerd such as myself, you’ve probably thought a lot about space travel.  Though we often think about space travel beyond the moon as being impossible, it isn’t so much impossible as it is improbable.  In a myriad of science fiction movies, Hollywood has portrayed two different ways.  Let’s discuss them along with why they are unlikely:

  • WARP SPEED – Han Solo punches a button and all the stars around the Millenium Falcon stretch out in lines as the ship he won in an intergalactic card game wizzes through them.  The problem?  It would be extremely difficult to drive a ship that fast and not crash into something – a star, an asteroid, a piece of space garbage, something.  The ship would need incredibly accurate sensoring mechanisms and an advanced auto pilot that could maneveur at high-speeds because humans have yet to manage getting out of the grocery store parking lot without bumping into something let alone get around obstacles at mind-bending speeds.

 

  • HYPERSLEEP – Ripley in Aliens preserves herself in a pod that keeps her body in the same physical shape over the course of a long, multi-year journey.  The ship goes on auto-pilot and drives at a normal pace while the occupants of the ship take a nice, long nap.  The characters in Interstellar actually utilize this technology in the film.  A machine that can actually preserve a body and prevent it from aging would be remarkable, and would have many medical applications in addition to the obvious use in space-exploration but until society figures out a way to not make people wait in an ER waiting room for six hours, there is probably not going to be any headway in such a device anytime soon.

Rather than focus on warp speed or hypersleep technologies, Interstellar takes a look at another means of space travel that has heretofore been unused by Hollywood – the wormhole.  As the film explains, scientists believe that worm holes have the possibly to bend points in space such that a tunnel can be created between them.  (At one point, a character draws a line between two points on a piece of paper, then bends the paper so that the two points meet to illustrate how a worm hole makes it possible to go from one point to another without travelling the long distance of the “straight line” in between.

All of this is theoretical but the movie’s allure is taking all of these highly theoretical concepts and imagining – what if someone actually managed to physically follow through with them?

I applaud the film’s producers for taking all of these hard-boiled, difficult to grasp concepts, typically the stuff that makes the average high school student’s eyes glaze over and fall asleep in science class, and portray them in a very real and tangible manner.

SPACE AND TIME

Also at issue in the film is the concept of differences in the passage of time – i.e. that it is possible for time to move differently at one point than it does at another.  Cooper struggles with making the ultimate sacrifice – namely, that while he is in space, his children are aging and may eventually even surpass him.  At one point, the crew reaches a planet and Cooper is faced with the difficult realization that for every hour he spends on the surface, seven years will pass on Earth.   True to form, at the start of a brief mission to a water logged planet, Murph is just a kid but after the mission, she’s all grown up and played by Jessica Chastain.  Talk about the cat being in the cradle.

INTERSTELLAR AND THE BOOKSHELF AT THE END

I said I wouldn’t mention Interstellar and the bookshelf at the end of the movie and well, I’m not going to, not only to not utilize a cheap method of driving up my web traffic but also because I haven’t decided if this was the film’s “jump the shark” moment or if it was highly creative and imaginative.  You watch.  You decide for yourself.

PARTING THOUGHTS

I’m a big supporter of space exploration but I am a lowly nerd with a book blog so really, my opinion doesn’t amount to a hill of beans.  For me, it was sad to see the Space Shuttle program scrapped in recent years and it boggles my mind that we are paying the Russians millions of dollars to launch our American astronauts into space, especially at a time when the Russians haven’t exactly been playing nice with their neighbors lately.

I think there’s a lot that could be learned from not only localized space exploration (i.e. around the Moon and just above Earth’s orbit) but also deep exploration – i.e. let’s go to Mars!  Hell, if we’re willing to spend the money and are able to find astronauts willing to make the ultimate sacrifice, a mission to fly for ten or twenty years out into space to report findings back to Earth is not impossible.  Improbable, yes but not impossible.

I do get it – the economy is terrible, people can’t find jobs, there are all kinds of wars and turmoil going on in the world and in light of all that it seems selfish to toy around with space.  But as Cooper points out in the film, space exploration technology also usually gives rise to technology that helps out everyday life on Earth, such as the MRI machine.  Perhaps there are discoveries to be made by exploration of planets within our own solar system that could improve the quality of our life.

Or, perhaps Stephen Hawking has a point, namely that maybe there is alien life out there, but maybe we don’t want to know them.  Maybe there are nice aliens who will share all their technology with us and make our lives better.  Or maybe they’ll invade our planet and make us their slaves.

Who knows?  All I know is the film filled me with a sense of wonder about all the possibilities that space exploration has to offer.  Brilliant and uplifting, there was only one part of it that made me sad – that in the future, there will be so many amazing inventions and discoveries and alas, they’ll probably arrive long after I’m gone and I won’t be able to see any of them.

Oh well.  People in 1801 would have marvelled at the iPad, so at least we’ve got that going for us.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,