Tag Archives: self publishing

Aug 06 2020
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BQB's Twisted Shorts

FREE BOOK – THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY

Hey 3.5 readers.

This short story is free for the next few days. I’m proud of it, so I hope you’ll download your FREE copy and let me know what you think. If you want to leave a review on Amazon, even better.

What’s it about?

Once upon a time, Evan Brooks had everything going for him. He was an up and coming lawyer and he had a fiance he adored.

Unfortunately, work got in the way of the relationship. Evan felt torn between his profession and his love. His love, Lisa, felt neglected and ended it. He turned to the bottle, became an alcoholic, and lost everything.

He then spends the next 20 years up until the present day drinking beer at O’Malley’s Pub, crying about how Lisa left him.  One night, the actual O’Malley gets tired of listening to it, so he kicks Evan out.

Evan meets a mysterious stranger named Reuben who offers a trial run of the life Evan would have had if Lisa had stuck with him.

Turns out that Lisa and Evan end up having a son who becomes a cruel, totalitarian dictator, destroying America as we know it and replacing it with a heavily monitored and controlled state with a decimated population.

Evan is faced with the choice of whether or not to stick with this new life, one where the world is destroyed but he personally will get to hold on to the woman he loves, or to return to his bitter and lonely life as a sad old drunk, but at least the world will still be here.

I know the decision sound like a no brainer but if someone offered you a just to get back everything you wanted but lost due to mistakes you wish you had never made, wouldn’t you at least be tempted to take that opportunity, even if the costs to the world were grim? Or would you realize that the greater good outweighs your personal needs?

Anyway, like I said, it is FREE for the next few days, so please check it out and if so inclined, leave a review:

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Aug 05 2020
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BQB's Twisted Shorts, Uncategorized

Buy My Next Short!

Hey 3.5 readers.

Well, I just spent twenty minutes writing a nice description for you all only to hit a random button and lose it, so let me give you the short version.

Man has fiance. Fiance leaves. Man becomes drunk. Man loses lawyer job. Man sits at bar stool for 20 years, crying about how his ex, Lisa, kicked him to the curb.

Man meets mysterious stranger. Man states he wishes Lisa had never left.

Stranger grants request. Man wakes up to find himself in dystopian world. Turns out in the version of the world where he and Lisa got married, they had a son who turned out to be a ruthless dictator who conquers America, racking up a hefty kill count as he controls all.

Evan is given a choice. Stay in this version of the world as his son’s captive. He and Lisa are forced to stay in the Eye House (formerly the White House) under close surveillance. He’d get to be with the love of his life but, you know, the whole dictator son thing.

Or he can return to his old life as a drunken bum.  It’s no picnic, but hey, at least Democracy is still a thing.

Will Evan put his country over his own selfish needs? Will he even get to make a choice? Get this fine book on Amazon and find out.

 

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Aug 01 2020
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BQB's Twisted Shorts, Uncategorized

It’s not too late to get my Free Shorts!

Hey 3.5 readers.

Have you gotten your hands on my free shorts yet? No? Why not? What, are you too good for my shorts? You think there are better shorts to be had out there? What, are you made of money? Do you prefer shorts that are not free?

Sorry for the guilt trip. Anyway, my BQB’s Twisted Shorts series has begun with “When Superheroes Quit” and you can still get a free copy on Amazon tonight and all the way through tomorrow night.

You want to wait to Sunday? Don’t do it. If you wait till Sunday, my shorts will no longer be free. You’ll be kicking yourself in your shorts over losing out on this great opportunity to get my free shorts.

Do you know how many people have gotten my free shorts this week? 18. Can you believe it? 18 people cared so much about my free shorts that they grabbed my free shorts for free. They didn’t leave a review about my free shorts, so if you grab my free shorts and you want to leave a review, please do so. I love it when people review my free shorts.

In conclusion, please get your free copy of my shorts:

 

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Jul 28 2020
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BQB's Twisted Shorts, Uncategorized

FREE TWISTED SHORTS!

Hey 3.5 readers.

My new mini-book, BQB’s Twisted Shorts – When Superheroes Quit, is free until the end of the week

What if a super villain attacked the city and the local spandex wearing caped flyboy decided to stay home? Feeling unloved and unappreciated, the Righteous Champion decided to leave Horrendous City, opting to get out of the superhero game to move to Florida to become a pop star.

Get your copy today. It is FREE and also FREE and did I mention that it is FREE?

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Jul 28 2020
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BQB's Twisted Shorts, Uncategorized

Buy My Twisted Shorts!

Hey 3,5 readers.

I’d like to direct all 7 of your eyes to my latest publication, BQB’s Twisted Shorts – When Superheroes Quit, now available on Amazon.

If you could grab a copy and leave a review, I’d greatly appreciate it.

What happens when a superhero quits? City leaders will have to do their jobs!

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Jul 24 2020
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Uncategorized, Writing Prompts

My Book is FREE!

3.5 readers, do you like free books? What’s that? 2.5 of you are distant cousins of John D. Rockefeller and ergo, you prefer to pay for your books?

Fine, but the remaining 1 of you who isn’t related to John D. Rockefeller should go on over to Amazon and get this free book.

Also, there is a shark on the cover.

 

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Jul 22 2020
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BQB's Twisted Shorts, Uncategorized

BQB’s Twisted Shorts – The One That Got Away – Cover

Hey 3.5 readers.

Have you ever sat around, crying into a frosty brew about the one that got away? If only you had been nicer, kinder, more attentive, more attractive, more successful, more whatever, maybe they would have stayed but now they’re gone and you feel like dirt because you’re sure you’ll never find anyone who compares to the one who flew the coop?

You sound like Evan Brooks. He was once an up and coming lawyer but he blew it all on booze, so depressed was he when his fiance Lisa walked out on him.  He has spent the past 20 years drowning his sorrows at a bar, telling his tale of woe to anyone who will listen…except no one ever wants to listen to such a depressing lush.

One day, a mysterious stranger does listen. Actually, he does more than that. He transports Evan to an alternate reality, one where Lisa stuck with him and….dun dun dun…their son became the next Hitler.

As Evan gets a taste of the life he would have had as the father of a cruel totalitarian dictator, he starts to realize maybe that bar stool wasn’t so bad…and maybe, just maybe, things happen for a reason. Sometimes a personal dream falling apart is the best thing that ever happened to you…and the world.

COVER 4

Here we see the White House which, in the story, becomes “The Eye House” or the home of the dictator, who refers to himself as “The Eye” because he watches everything. America is kept under heavy surveillance in this dystopian nightmare.

Anyway, I haven’t put any of these stories yet but I believe I have found a sustainable approach.  Editors and formatters are worth every penny but they are expensive so I think for now, the short story route is the way to go, as these take less time and less money to format.

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Jul 12 2020
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BQB's Twisted Shorts

BQB’s Twisted Shorts

Hey, 3.5 readers.

Long time, no see. Are there still 3.5 of you?

So, I’m getting into the short story game.

Why, you didn’t ask?

I’m working on an anthology series. Short stories with twisted endings, like an homage to the Twilight Zone, but with BQB’s sense of humor.

In the first one, a superhero quits. That’s right. One day, he just decides he doesn’t want to save the city anymore. It’s a thankless job and there are more productive things he can be doing, so he decides to move to California to work on becoming a pop star.

Here is the Righteous Champion, singing on his Karaoke Machine in the living room of his condo instead of saving Horrendous City from the Precursor, a vile, alien altered being who has constructed a ray gun that can erase anything.

COVER 3

Once they learn that the city’s savior is flying to greener pastures, Mayor Lazarus Latherton and Police Chief Isaac Hammer are faced with a terrible fate.  They will have to do…their jobs!

Dun dun dun…

Ultimately, I’ve been trying to make a go of self-publishing for awhile now and time, money, etc. are all tough factors.  My thought here is this:

Say you want to get into the lemonade business.

Would you a) make one pitcher of lemonade and start a stand in your yard and if that becomes profitable, you might, say, start a couple more stands, eventually working your way up to starting a lemonade store, followed by a lemonade chain or…

b) Start a lemonade chain first?

I was trying to do b all along and now I’m realizing a will, I think be better.

Honestly, it could be better to just say screw it all and eat cookies and watch TV.

But alas, that old writing bug is still biting me, so let’s see how this goes.

Any thoughts on the cover? Let me know.

 

 

 

 

 

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May 25 2020
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The Last Driver, Uncategorized

GET MY BOOK FOR FREE!

Hey 3.5 readers.

BQB here.

My book, the first part of The Last Driver, is FREE on Amazon all this week. If you could grab a free copy, I’d appreciate it. Leave a review? Even better.

Thank you.

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Apr 28 2020
1 Comment
Toilet Shocker

First Draft of Toilet Shocker Complete

I finished my first draft of Toilet Shocker, the sequel to Toilet Gator.

I began writing Toilet Gator in early 2017 and it is currently with my editor, keeping my fingers crossed that it will be out this year.

I began writing Toilet Shocker last July, and just finished the Epilogue today. It comes in at over a whopping 200,000 words, which I understand is a ridiculous length, and perhaps I do need to think in the future about scaling back my plots, the multitude of characters and all the moving pieces.

Anyway, it was nice to get the first draft done. Even so, there’s still a lot of work to do in polishing it up, but you can’t build a house without the foundation.

How to describe the plot?  In Toilet Gator, there were two supporting characters, Moses and Felix, ex-Marines who opened a gun shop in South Florida. The hero, Police Chief Cole Walker, enlists them and their arsenal of weaponry in defeating the toilet gator.

After toilet gator was complete, my mind started to wander to the multitude of other aquatic creatures that could attack people on the toilet, and electric eels seemed pretty funny. Better yet, what if a mad man somehow figured out a way to get his eels to hold its targets hostage, biting their butts and promising to deliver a deadly electric shock if the eels’ operator does not get his way?

I know. I probably could have put this time and effort into writing a serious work. Actually, I couldn’t. Give me the most serious World War II story to work on and I swear, it will be full of fart jokes by page 10.

Anyway, Moses and Felix become the heroes of this story, for, as it turns out, someone in their old special ops unit wants revenge, and has unleashed his eels on the butts of his former marines, now private citizens, threatening to shock them unless he gets want he wants.

I smell Oscar.

toilet shocker demo

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