Will the Presidential Candidates Reinstate the Space Program if Elected?

Hello 3.5 readers.Space-Shuttle.png

If you’re a nerd like me, then you’re aware the U.S. Space Shuttle program has been shut down since 2011.

I suppose there are arguments for that. The economy is in the crapper. We just, well I want to say wrapped up the war in Iraq but it doesn’t look very wrapped up, and there’s an ongoing war in Afghanistan, both wars have been costly.

Schools are on the decline. People are broke as hell and can’t find jobs.

So I get it. People don’t like seeing money being spent on space under these circumstances.

However, I’d counter that if the money isn’t going to the space program then it’s just going to some other politician’s pet project because there’s really no such thing as cost savings in the government.  The politicians just take moolah from one program and put it in another program.

Then they take you, the American taxpayer and turn you over and shake you up and down until all your spare change falls out.

But I digress.  Let’s not go negative. Let’s go positive.

Here are some reasons WHY the space shuttle is important:

  • We can learn all kinds of scientific shit about space and in the process of building all this technical space shit, we’ll see greater advances in engineering, robotics, etc.
  • The country is so divided right now that a successful space launch might make us drop all of our anger and hatred and give each other hugs right in the middle of the street.
  • Maybe there are friendly aliens we could meet who could give us the cures to cancer, herpes, syphilis, toe nail fungus and teach us how to make pizza in zero gravity.
  • You know that asshat Putin is probably going to launch his own space shuttle mission and while he’s up there in space he’ll take a picture of his butt with the words “America Sucks” written on his cheeks in magic marker. Then he’ll tweet that shit out to the world and make America a laughingstock. Even worse, many people will be lead to believe that America, does in fact, suck.

We need to get the space shuttle back up there, people.

So, as a world renowned poindexter, I’m taking it upon myself to tweet the three remaining presidential candidates, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, and Bernie Sanders and ask them if elected, will they reinstate the Space Shuttle program?

My tweets:

I don’t want to brag, but as the caretaker of a magic bookshelf, I have a certain amount of pull when it comes to world affairs (that amount being absolutely zero), so surely one of these fine, upstanding political types will respond and give me the thumbs up or down as to whether or not the Space Shuttle will be pulled out of moth balls under their watch.

I’ll keep you posted, 3.5 readers, and if anyone gets back to me, I’ll let you know.

P.S. – 3.5 readers, feel free to follow me on Twitter – @bookshelfbattle

Meanwhile, feel free to gab away in the comments about whether or not you think the space shuttle program should be reinstated but if you could do me a favor and not use this post as an excuse to verbally bash the candidate you don’t like because on the million to one chance one of their assistant’s assistant’s assistant’s assistants takes a peak at this post I’d like them to see an invite to participate in a legit conversation about the space shuttle program and not a complaint session about the candidates.

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6 thoughts on “Will the Presidential Candidates Reinstate the Space Program if Elected?

  1. I am with you on the space program. I love learning scientific shit. But seriously, I think we are being very short-sighted in abandoning the shuttle program. The US has made itself dependent on other nations to travel to and from the ISS. Why would you not want to retain control over that part of the mission? Unless of course we are just waiting for Elon Musk figure it out, which could happen…

    • I’m not sure what Elon or any of these rich dudes get out of it other than I guess they’ll become mega mega rich if they make space tourism viable. I’m not sure what they could accomplish in the foreseeable future other than maybe they could build something that could take people up just to the end of where you can be before you break up in the atmosphere.

      But I guess if they actually build a space ship i.e. something that can break the atmosphere without a rocket and zoom around up there they’ll be in the history books.

  2. I did hear that Trump is looking to NASA to come up with an engineering system to keep his hair in place. It will involve O-rings and hydraulics.

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