Bookshelf Battle

Hey 3.5 Readers,

Buncha phonies.

Alien Jones is taking a Sunday off so I, your humble blog host, Bookshelf Q. Battler can provide you some commentary and analysis on the controversial classic novel, The Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger.

Yes, once in awhile an honest to god book review happens here on the Bookshelf Battle Blog.

I’ve heard about this book my entire life, but only about how controversial it is, how it was banned and considered subversive when it first came out.

I never knew what it was about, but given all the negative hype, I assumed it must be something awful that would turn me into a crazed wacko hippy or something.

So when I finally cracked it open, I was surprised to find it’s just about a kid wandering around New York City in a dazed and confused manner.

Even more surprising?  It is equal parts sad and hilarious.

The protagonist?  One Holden Caulfield, a highly opinionated wayward youth whose soul is a bottomless pit of complaints.  From his friends at school to random people he meets, from Hollywood to New York City, everyone, is, to Holden “a phony.”

It took me a moment to get used to 1951 speak.  If this novel is a barometer of culture during the middle of the last century, then apparently youngsters of the time said some pretty bizarre things.

How to Speak Like Holden Caulfield

• Phonies – Everyone’s a phony.  Hey you!  Yeah you, the only one reading this review!  You’re a phony!

• And All – Pretty much thrown in at the end of every other sentence.  “So then I went to the park and all and there were some people there and all and I sat on a bench and all…”

• Madman – Used to describe anything out of the ordinary.  “Those marbles bounced around like madmen.”
• Goddamn – I don’t know if kids in 1951 said “goddamn” a lot or if Salinger didn’t think he could get away with dropping more than a few F-bombs without being kicked out of the country or something.

• Really Was – In case you don’t believe him, Holden reminds you that he, she, or it (whatever or whomever he is discussing) “really was” whatever it is he’s saying they were.

• Put them All Together – “So I went to the bar and all and the waiter was a real goddamn phony.  He really was.  He handed me a gin and tonic and I drank it like a mad man.  I really did and all.”

Now that you’ve had your lesson in Holden-speak, here’s a few of my favorite Caulfield quotes:

HOLDEN CAULFIELD QUOTES

HOLDEN: “I’m the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life. It’s awful. If I’m on my way to the store to buy a magazine, even, and somebody asks me where I’m going, I’m liable to say I’m going to the opera. It’s terrible.”

BQB:  Holden’s lying sets the stage for him to a) be funny and b) allows him to be this “wise beyond his years/too immature for his age” kid who hangs out at bars like he’s some kind of sophisticated man about town yet at the same time, be completely unenthused about adult life.

HOLDEN: “I am always saying “Glad to’ve met you” to somebody I’m not at all glad I met. If you want to stay alive, you have to say that stuff, though.”

BQB: Aint that the truth.

HOLDEN: “What really knocks me out is a book that, when you’re all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it. That doesn’t happen much, though.”

BQB:  It really doesn’t.

Holden is a lad strung out in opposite directions.  He’s young so he falls into that trap where he sees the world in shades of black and white.  People are either good or bad, wrong or right, interesting or dull.  He doesn’t understand about shades of gray.  Everywhere he looks, people aren’t living up to his idea of perfection, so he wants all these “phonies” to get lost.

Yet, as soon as they do he wants them back.  He hates everyone but he’s also very lonely.

Such is the nature of life.  We all want to be our own person.  We all want to live life on our own terms.  We all want things to be our way or the highway.

But we also want someone to go ice skating with.

To have friends or even a significant other, compromise has to come into the equation and that’s a lesson Holden needs to learn.

It’s a great novel that holds up even today.  If I have one complaint, it’s that the novel begins with Holden in some kind of mental rest home, and he tells the readers that he’s going to inform them about all the “madman stuff” that led to him having to go there for awhile.

So we follow Holden on his journey – his fight with roommate Stradlater that makes him leave Pencey, one of many schools he’s been kicked out of, a few days earlier than he’d intended.

We read as he meanders around NYC, his heart torn between Jane the girl he likes and Sally the girl who likes him (until he’s rude to her), through various intellectual conversations, and even a bell hop that kicks his ass over few measly dollars (probably worth a lot more in 1951).

SPOLIER:  And then it all just sort of ends.  We’re waiting for some kind of mental breakdown fit that gets him carted off to the loony bin and it never happens.  You’re left to assume that he sees his little sister Phoebe as a ray of sunshine worth getting his life together for, but what pushes him over the edge to land him in the nut house we never really know for sure.

Even so, it’s a great novel.  Holden’s hunting hat, which he sometimes wears as a sign of his youth and occasionally stuffs in his pocket whenever he’s trying to be sophisticated, is one of the great iconic images of American literature.

STATUS:  Shelf worthy, though I’m not sure I’d want my magic bookshelf to produce a tiny Holden to walk around my office.  He’d probably call me a phony then demand that I come back and listen to him whine about all his problems for an hour.