BQB EDITORIAL NOTE: Color me surprised as I woke up this morning to my arch nemesis, the enormous furry snow monster known simply as, “The Yeti” attempting to make amends with me by singing a cover song of Adele’s Hello.
Oh, for those just joining in, I’ve been keeping a Yeti prisoner in my basement ever since he broke into BQB HQ and attempted to shut down the Bookshelf Battle Blog because Yetis are boring as hell and they want the world to be as boring as they are.
He’s been free to go for awhile now but he just hangs out, pretends he’s a prisoner, and eats all my food.
Here’s what the Yeti serenaded me with:
Hello…it’s the Yeti.
I was wondering if after all these months you’d like to meet.
To go over…all the ways I hate your stupid blog.
They say that it’s supposed to be funny.
But I ain’t…laughed…too much.
Hello, can you hear the Yeti?
I’m in your basement dreaming about the fights we used to have.
When we were younger…and we were free.
When we used to roundhouse kick each other in the face with our feet.
There’s such a rift…between us.
And our Thursday night Scandal parties don’t help.
Hello from your stupid basement!
My good Yeti name faces defacement!
But I want to tell you I’m sorry…for not stopping your blog.
The world’s brains it does clog.
Hello, from your basement.
At least I can say that I tried.
To roundhouse kick you in the face, BQB.
For your blog is more abominable than me.
Hello, do we have cheese dip?
If you’re going to keep me as a Yeti prisoner I might as well eat.
And I have demands.
Like can I get free cable down here?
Yes it’s no secret that the both of us,
Will fight for…ever.
So hello from your stupid basement (stupid basement!)
I must have tried a thousand times (thousand times)
To pull the plug on your stupid ass blog,
And make the world a better place.
Hello from my Yeti jail (Yeti jail)
There are no hot Yeti chicks down here for me to nail (for me to nail)
And I want to tell you I’m sorry…for not roundhouse kicking you more.
It would be an improvement to your stupid nerd face.
Hello from my Yeti captivity!
Your basement has no Wi-Fi connectivity!
And I really wanted to stream some Netflix.
Are there any shows with Yeti chicks?
Hello from my Yeti dungeon!
Oh BQB your dumbass head I want to bludgeon!
In our next roundhouse kick to the face competition rematch
Until then I want cookies, so bake me a batch.