I got nothing for you today, 3.5. Alas, I’m still a captive of the Yeti. Follow me on Twitter @bookshelfbattle to rid this blog of tyrannical Yeti rule.
Yetis are the worst and they are so ridiculously boring.
Ho ho holy moly. I can’t believe they made another one.
BQB here with a review of Bad Santa 2.
OBLIGATORY SPOILER WARNING.
The year was 2003. George W. Bush was in the White House, the clubs were playing Fifty Cent’s In Da Club on a continuous loop (which frankly, they should still be doing even today) and a little Christmas comedy movie called Bad Santa turned out to be unexpectedly hysterical.
So naturally, in this age where Hollywood hasn’t had a new idea in awhile, they had to take another dip in the Bad Santa well.
Billy Bob Thornton reprises his role as Willie Stokes aka the worst Santa ever. His diminutive friend/elf Marcus (Tony Cox) is out on parole after double crossing Willie in the original film, but now he’s back and recruits Willie to go on a new Christmas heist.
Even worse, Willie’s foul mouthed degenerate mother Sunny/Mrs. Claus (Kathy Bates) joins in on the action.
On top of all that, Thurman Merman (Brett Kelly) aka the dumb little kid who befriends Willie in the first film is back and dumber than ever. He’s all grown up and totally an adult now.
Seeing as how I remember seeing this movie like it was yesterday, I’m not sure which makes me sadder, that Thurman is an adult or that John Ritter and Bernie Mac, who both had big parts in the original, have since, and to my great dismay, shuffled off this mortal coil.
Time, you son of a bitch.
Back to the review, Christina Hendricks and her enormous boobs replace Lauren Graham of Gilmore Girls fame as Willie’s love interest this go around.
I have to be honest, while Christina’s enormous boobs are truly a spectacle to behold as well as a pair of national treasures, I really do believe she deserves a feature film role that isn’t about her enormous boobs. Sadly, this isn’t it, though she does make the film worth watching.
The movie has its funny parts as well as a lot of scenes where it is clear the actors are just being called upon to be as gross and disgusting as possible. As often happens in comedy sequels, the jokes that floored us the first time are repeated and though we’ve come to expect that, they just don’t have the same luster that they did before.
Where the crap did thirteen years go? Holy shit. Someone get in a damn time machine and pull me out of the Bad Santa 1 movie theater and explain the series of mistakes I need to avoid in order to not end up as the proprietor of a blog with 3.5 readers in 2016.
Just kidding 3.5 readers. You know I love you and your seven eyes.
STATUS: Shelf-worthy, but partly because it makes me nostalgic for the original and partly because of Christina Hendricks (I should be clear and say that her boobs do not appear on screen. Sorry. I know. Spoiler.) Otherwise, I could take or leave this movie. If you’re looking for adult themed holiday laughs, this is your movie. If not, you can wait and rent it next year.
FYI I karate chopped the Yeti in the face just to go see this movie and review it for you, 3.5. You’re welcome.