Daily Archives: November 30, 2016

Top Ten Christmas Movies

Ho ho ho 3.5 readers.

Jingle bells, the Yeti smells, BQB is still in captivity.

But that’s ok because I have my ways of getting around the Yeti.

Did you know you can help rid BQB HQ of Yeti rule by following me on Twitter – @bookshelfbattle ?


In the meantime, from BQB HQ, here are the Top Ten Christmas Movies, in no particular order:

10.  Scrooged (1988) – A Christmas Carol has been remade, rebooted, and parodied a ridiculous amount of times.  It makes sense because it follows a classic formula for teaching a main character the error of his ways.  For me, the best and funniest retelling was this Bill Murray comedy from the late 1980s.  Entertainment executive Cross follows in Scrooge’s footsteps by chasing money and working his way to the top of a TV network, only to realize he missed out on the love of his life Claire (Karen Allen) and not taking care of the people who have helped him along the way like Bobcat Goldthwait’s take on Bob Cratchit in the form of Eliot Loudermilk.

9.  Home Alone (1990) – Truly the most heartwarming film about child neglect, Kevin McCallister (Macaulay Culkin) left behind by his large family on Christmas and must defend the family homestead from robbers Daniel Stern and Joe Pesci.  Ironically, the sequel stars the 45th President of the United States.

8.  A Christmas Story (1983) – Author Jean Shepherd’s recollections of his youth come to life as Ralphie (Peter Billingsley) hounds his family into buying him a Red Ryder BB gun, despite their fears that he’ll shoot his eye out.  Hollywood embarrassed itself terribly by making a sequel you shouldn’t bother with.

7.  Bad Santa (2003) – Ever wonder if that person in the department store mall Santa outfit is a reputable character?  Billy Bob Thornton answers a resounding “no.”  RIP John Ritter and Bernie Mac.

6.  The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) – If Scrooged is the best version of the Dickens classic, then this is the second best.  Michael Caine as Scrooge.  Kermit as Cratchit.  It’s all good.

5.  Gremlins (1984) – You forgot this takes place at Christmas, didn’t you?  Zach Galligan and Phoebe Cates end up battling little green men over the holidays when a wise Chinese shopkeepers mugwai care instructions are ignored.  Never feed a gremlin after midnight.  (Isn’t it always after midnight somewhere?  Like what is the feeding window?  Isn’t 1 p.m. still after the previous day’s midnight?)  Check it out for Phoebe’s monologue about her Dad dressing up as Santa Claus and then getting trapped in the chimney and dying, thus ruining her yuletide spirit forever.  I have yet to figure out if this speech is supposed to be straight up serious or darkly comedic.  Maybe a little of both.  Gizmo…caca!

4.  The Polar Express (2004) – Breathtaking animation.  Tom Hanks animated as multiple characters.

3.  Prancer (1989) – A girl takes in a reindeer as her pet, only to discover…dun dun dun…that it belongs to Santa!  #mindblown

#2 – Die Hard (1988) – I don’t care what anyone says, this is a Christmas movie.  Truly the best underdog action hero story about a man who tries to make amends with his estranged wife by attending her office Christmas party only to end up having to save the day from German terrorists.  Yippy ki yay.

#1 – Christmas Vacation (1989) – This one is number one for a reason.  It really is the best Christmas movie ever made.  Others come and go.  I might watch them or I might not but every year I watch Die Hard and Christmas Vacation.  Shitter was full!

Did I miss your favorite Christmas movie, 3.5 readers?  Tell me about it in the comments.






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