Hey 3.5 readers. My Snapchat stock went down two seconds after I bought it so I assumed I was an idiot. Then the next day it went up a little bit so now I’m a genius again.
I must admit I have concerns about the company’s long term prospects. I really feel like they’ve got to branch out beyond the funny camera filters if they’re going to maintain such an enormous valuation.
Anyway, as a 0.000000000000000000000000001% owner of this fine company, allow me to ask you to check out the wonderful Snapchat app. You can make yourself look like a puppy or a kitty and you can send inappropriate photos of yourself doing inappropriate things to unsavory characters and the photos just go poof, though apparently sneaky people can find a way around that so it’s not entirely foolproof but hey, if you can find a better app that can allow you to send inappropriate photos, then use it.
Wait. Don’t use it. Use Snapchat and make my stock go up. Forget about sending inappropriate photos. It’s a bad idea. Just use the puppy and kitty filters instead. You’ve always wanted to be a puppy. Now you can.
Come on. Make me rich, people.