Over a hundred shirtless men had crammed themselves into a dimly lit basement. They swilled beer and cursed without a care as they held up stacks of dollar bills.
“Give me fifty on Bruno!” one man shouted.
“I’ll take a grand on Stanley!” another man cried.
Rusty, himself shirtless and sweaty, strolled through the ring, collecting bets. “Have I got all the action? Yeah? Then gentlemen, to your positions!”
Two absurdly obese and ridiculously hairy men entered the ring. They leered at one another and growled.
“In this corner,” Rusty said. “Weighing in at four hundred and twenty eight pounds, Bruno the Bear!”
The crowd cheered.
“And in this corner, weighing so much that he broke the damn scale, Stanley the Stallion!”
The crowd cheered again.
Rusty stood between the two men. “Alright. You know the rules. You know what I expect them to be followed. Now get out there and give it your all, gents!”
The redheaded man exited the ring and joined a shirtless Moses and a shirtless Felix at the judge’s table.
“This was an inspired idea, Moses,” Rusty said.
“Yeah,” Moses said. “But Felix did all the legwork and you did all the promotion.”
“We’re a good team, aren’t we?” Rusty asked.
“You better believe it,” Moses said.
Rusty picked up a microphone and stood up. “Gentelemen, are you ready?”
The crowd of surly, booze addled men shouted, “Yeah!”
“I can’t hear you!” Rusty said.
The crowd shouted even louder. “YEAH!”
Rusty turned towards the competitors in the ring. “Begin!”
Bruno and Stanley paced furiously around the ring, locking eyes, each man waiting for the other to make a move until finally, they smashed their big bellies together, wrapped one another in a passionate embrace and fell to the floor and a calm, soothing snuggle.
The crowed cheered.
“What’s the first rule of Male on Male Hug Club!”
“Sir!” the crowd shouted. “The first rule of Male on Male Hug Club is ‘Do Not Talk About Male on Male Hug Club!”
“Exactamundo,” Rusty said. “And what’s the second rule of Male on Male Hug Club?”
“Sir!” the crowd shouted. “The second rule of Male on Male Hug Club is ‘Do Not Talk About Male on Male Hug Club!”
A random man stood up and shouted a question. “Hey! Are those dudes gonna fuck or what?”
Rusty looked around the room. “What? Who said that?”
Unable to find the questioner, Rusty shouted, “What’s the third rule of Male on Male Hug Club?”
“Just because men like to hug each other doesn’t mean they’re automatically gay!”
“And the fourth rule?” Rusty asked.
“No butt stuff!”
“Damn straight!” Rusty said.
Rusty returned to the judge’s table.
“You were tough but fair,” Moses said.
“Yeah, well,” Rusty said as he picked up a beer and chugged it. “You gotta have boundaries. Just saying.”