Satan
Teletubbies
A nunchuck expert
A gaggle of angry Chuck Norris impersonators
A sumo in a speedo
Elderly ex porn stars
Mafia hit men
A Roman gladiator
Ninjas
Bookshelf Battle
The only site where new bestsellers are forced to do battle for space on a nerd's bookshelf.
Bookshelf Battle 
Anyone in a Speedo*
I don’t know. If this were the 1980s there would be a lot of ladies who would probably want to see David Hasselhoff in a Speedo.
Ugh! No! No Speedos ever!
A man in a trenchcoat, when it’s neither cold nor raining.
A Telemarketer you were just abrupt with minutes earlier
An ex
Anybody wearing a hockey mask (best not to tempt fate)
Anybody you can smell before you can actually see ’em
What if it’s a man in a trenchcoat who is a spy?