Daily Archives: July 4, 2018

A Brief History of the American Revolution

Happy 4th of July. In case you don’t know your history of the American Revolution, here’s how it all got started.

Bookshelf Battle

Happy 4th of July, 3.5 readers!

May your day be filled with fireworks, revelry, and delicious barbecued wieners.

Bookshelf Q. Battler here to kick the holiday off in style with a brief history of the American Revolution.

“Tax that tea so that I might purchase more elaborate coats!” – King George III

Frankly, kids these days, what with their addiction to the Interwebs and what not, have no idea how their country got started and it’s high time someone educated them.

HOW IT ALL STARTED

The colonials loved their tea.  All day long, they’d sit around the hearth and say, “‘Ello guvna, I fancy a spot of tea I do!”

They found tea exceptionally delicious and drank that shit morning, noon and night.  The only time when you’d never see a colonial with one tea cup in his hand is when he’d have two tea cups, one in each hand.

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Happy Fourth of July, 3.5 readers

3.5 readers, today is the day we celebrate our independence from British tyranny (yes, we were so pissed those dirty limey pricks taxed our tea that we went and created a system that taxes a) our income b) our property c) our purchases and d) still charges fees for many basic government transactions.

That’ll learn ya, ya bucktoothed wankers!

Anyway, celebrate your country’s independence today, but all year long, you can celebrate your independence from shitty writing ideas by buying my big book of badass writing prompts.  To do so, you’ll have to liberate 99 cents from your wallet, but really, can you put a price on freedom?  I think not.

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