Tag Archives: investing

Daily Discussion with BQB – Is Avocado Toast Keeping Millenials from Becoming Homeowners?

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Hey 3.5 readers.

Your old pal BQB here.

Australian millionaire Tim Gurner, himself a millennial, has been quoted in the media (this Time Magazine article, for example) as, and I’m paraphrasing here, that millennials aren’t becoming homeowners to the extend that previous generations did because they essentially spend their money on crap.  They go out to eat too much, they take too many expensive vacations to Europe, they buy too many lattes and too many pieces of avocado toast.

Personally, I’m aghast that I’m behind the times because I never knew that avocado toast was even a thing.

Regardless, those wacky millennials took to the Twittosphere (where, shameless plug, you can follow me @bookshelfbattle) to mock Gurner, cracking jokes along the lines of who knew that all their problems could be solved by cutting back on avocado toast.

Typical snarky millenials.  Argh, I just want to channel Uncle Hardass and shake my fist at them in an impotent manner while shouting, “Get off my lawn, hippies!”

Or, hipsters, as is the modern parlance.

I do understand the point millennials are making.  The economy took a big hit in 2008 but honestly, it’s been pretty stagnant since 2000.

Meanwhile, a college education has never been more expensive, yet a college degree has never been less relevant as more and more people have degrees and yet they are pitting themselves against each other for fewer and fewer jobs.

So yeah.  Add to that mix the fact that property values are high and yup…you can’t really blame people who are pissed that they’re living in Mom and Dad’s house well into adulthood for being told all their problems result from that piece of avocado toast…or a latte…or insert your favorite comforting thing you buy that you know you spend too much money on here.

On the other hand, I’m going to side with Gurner.  Life sucks.  You’ve got to make choices.  Save your money.  I’ve always advocated for saving money on this fine blog.  I know it’s hard.  I know times are tough.  I know there will be times like it seems impossible but if you can even save just one dollar out of every paycheck, it’ll grow in time.

OK, you probably have to save more than one dollar.  Save a lot of dollars when you can and save just one when you can’t.

Ultimately, if you’re taking multiple vacations to Europe and throwing your money away on useless gadgets and stuff, then you’re choosing a certain lifestyle.  You have decided to live in the now, the present, to enjoy today.

You have decided to live while the living is good and see the world and do and see and experience awesome things when you are young.

You’re also selling your future old self out because your old self may not have a house to live in when you’re older but you know, your old self will also have nice memories of a fun youth so…it’s up to you.

I can’t really knock anyone for picking that lifestyle.  I’ve had old relatives who worked their entire lives and never went anywhere or did anything and never treated themselves to something extravagant.  They planned to do it in retirement then croaked before retirement came.

So there’s definitely an argument for living in the now and spending it all in the now.

But there’s also an argument for saving that moolah so you can own your own piece of land, a piece of property where you can hang your hat and not get nagged by Mom and Dad about what you’re doing well into adulthood.  And honestly, that’s good for the soul too.

I do agree that in many ways, our political and economic leaders have screwed the big time pooch for awhile now.  The “pay big money for college and college will get you a job that pays big money to you” pyramid scheme is bust.  Less jobs.  Less opportunity.  Less money.  People are less happy.

So it’s up to you what to do with your pennies.  Spend them now and enjoy it now.  Save them now and that will lead to something good later.

What say you, 3.5 readers?

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Top Ten Pieces of Investment Advice

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Ahh, money.  It makes the world go round, doesn’t it?  You know they say money can’t buy love, but if you ask me, those losers have never tried it.

Love it or hate it, you’ve got to have a base line amount of it to make a go of it in this world.

Stocks?  Schmocks.  Savings?  Schmavings.  There are plenty of investment advice blogs out there, written by, you know, people with investment credentials and shit.

My advice will get you absolutely nowhere fast and my lawyer urges that you not follow it at all.

Stupid lawyers.  Always the buzzkill.

Anyway, from BQB HQ in Fabulous East Randomtown, MA, here are BQB’s Top Ten Pieces of Investment Advice:

#10 – Buried Treasure

Withdraw your cash, stick it in a tin box, wrap it in plastic wrap and bury it in the backyard.  If the worms, gophers and weather don’t destroy it, you’ll have a fun time digging the shit out of your yard when you do actually need it.  Don’t forget to draw yourself a map that you won’t understand in the future and/or will most likely lose anyway.

#9 – Electronics

Stock up on cell phones, computers, etc.  They aren’t making any more of that shit.  It’s not like they aren’t coming out with a new updated version of your phone every three months.  Oh, wait.  They are?  Sorry.  You are the owner of a crate full of useless phones now.

#8 – Gold!

That crusty old bastard William Devane is always telling me to buy gold in those TV commercials and damn it, if you can’t trust a man who played the president in a season of 24 as well as The Dark Knight Rises then who can you trust?  Eh, in theory, and I’m totally spouting shit out of my ass here, a little bit of gold in your safe might not be a terrible idea.  I’m sure super rich actors, celebrities and politicians all have a bunch of frigging gold bars stored somewhere in case the economy collapses and chaos reigns supreme.  My gut tells me not to buy more than I can afford to lose though because, you know, there are thieves about and I have so much to do that I don’t have enough time to sit around BQB HQ with a shotgun just to ward off gold thieves.

#7 – Pez

I believe Nerdstradamus when he says that Pez will be the currency of the future.  Buy up all the little candy bricks and cartoon dispensers you can so you can be rich as all get out in the future.

#6 – Time Shares

It’s a home that you own for a week a year!  What could possibly go wrong?

#5 – Join a Tontine

It’s simple.  You and your friends put all of your money in a big concrete box and bury it or hide it somewhere.  Then, you all live your lives and the last one who dies gets the money.  Just, you know, don’t be a dick and kill all your friends.  And don’t join up with friends who are dicks.  You know what? Just don’t do this.

#4 – IOUs

Every time you buy something extravagant that you don’t really need, write an IOU to your future self.  Don’t worry.  You’re good for it.

(SPOILER ALERT:  You’re not good for it).

#3 – Loan Sharking

The good news?  You can “help” people by lending them money with usurious, ridiculously high interest rates attached.

The bad news?  A) It’s illegal and B) You’re going to have to break some legs.  You don’t want to break legs.  You’re too nice and also it makes a terrible mess.  My lawyer and I don’t advise you to do this at all.

#2 – Farts in Jars

In the future, man will evolve into a butt-less species.  Thus, you should shoot every toot into a jar and store those jars in your basement so that one day, when a butt-less society becomes nostalgic for fart smells, you can clean up.

Note that if this does not happen before you grow old and die, the grandchildren you leave behind to clean up your house will think you were insane.

#1 – Wise, Prudent, Solid and Cautions Savings and Investing Plans

Invest wisely in solid, reputable mutual funds, savings accounts, IRAs and so on.  Seek the advice of competent investment professionals.

I mean, you could do all that shit but will that be as fun as going on a treasure hunt and/or farting in jars?  I think not.

REPEAT:  My lawyer and I urge you to not waste your money doing any of the horrible things mentioned in this ridiculous blog post.  Really, you should be ashamed of yourself for even reading it.

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