The first Den of Thieves caught me by surprise. It didn’t do well at the box office but caught traction when it hit Netflix, so much so I had long assumed it was a Netflix original and was thus surprised when this sequel was released to theaters. But apparently it was the original was a flick destined to be forgotten until Netflix breathed new life into it and generated enough interest for a second go around, albeit 7 years later.
The first film was non-stop action and shootouts. This one is more of a thinker. At times, I felt like it tried to be an updated European version of Heat and by the way, it’s time for my yearly rewatch of that fine film.
As you might recall from the first film, LA Sheriff’s Department Detective Nick O’Brien (Gerard Butler) investigated a crew of ex-Marines who robbed the Federal reserve, only to realize at the end that their driver Donnie Wilson (O’Shea Jackson) was the mastermind of it all, and eluded Nick’s capture.
Here, in this sequel, Donnie has fled to Europe and begun working with the Panther mafia to plan an elaborate diamond heist. Nick, fed up with his life (his wife left him, wants alimony, and his police superiors are trashing him over events in the first film) decides to break bad and join Donnie’s crew, whether Donnie wants him or not.
Whereas in the first film, the heisters depended largely on heavy firepower, here the villains use high tech gadgets and tricks. If you’re patient through two-thirds of the movie, the end will wow you with an elaborately pulled off heist followed by the thrills and chills of a high stakes, dangerous get away.
Butler does some serious acting as a frazzled, grizzled old cop who is tired of the grind. O’Shea holds his own as a genius robber who loves the thrill of the game.
STATUS: Shelf-worthy. It definitely would get lost as a summer release but is above average for standard January fare.
He’s got a particular set of skills…if only he could remember them.
BQB here with a review of the latest Liam Neeson flick.
About 15 years ago, Liam Neeson had a surprise hit with “Taken” and thus ushered in a new era where he was reinvented as an old man action movie star. It’s not like he had much competition because Hollywood would rather lose millions than put a macho man on screen but that’s another post for another time.
I’ll be honest, none of the Liam action flicks that came next ever matched up to Taken, even Taken 2 and 3 (you’d think these idiots would stop letting themselves get taken). Like M Night Shyamalan who made one great movie with a fantastic twist at the end only to make a dozen movies with stupid twists at the end, Liam could never quite capture lightening in the bottle.
That’s not to say EVERY Liam action film was bad. There were many that are worth your time. A few that come to mind – The Commuter, The Ice Road and 2019’s Cold Pursuit blends dark comedy and action together such that in my mind, it’s the only one that comes close to living up to the Taken legacy.
But since 2020, Liam has released a string of movies that were, in my opinion, total dogshit. They just seemed like a cash grab, someone slapped together a bare bones action movie flick script and stuck the old guy in there for a pay day. The last couple I literally only watched half before I said eff it and turned it off because I was so bored I couldnt get through the last half.
And worse, all his latest movies feature him as an old tough guy who is dying from something and has to make amends before he croaks, and they crowbar a romance in for him with a 40 year old woman because God fordbid a 70 year old movie star be seen on screen with a 70 year old woman.
Anyway…now that preamble is out of the way, let me tell you about this movie where Liam once again stars as an elderly tough guy who is dying from something and has a romance with a 40 year old woman crowbarred in. This time I made it through the end. You might say I had to since I bought a ticket to see it in the theater but I wouldn’t steer you wrong. If I streamed this one on Netflix I’d still watch it till the end because it is better than his usual slapped together faire.
Liam stars as a no named (credited as “The Thug”) aging gangster who has lived a total scumbag’s life. He does jobs for Boston mobster Charlie Connor (Ron Pearlman) and has been given the task of teaching Connor’s hothead young son Kyle (played by Daniel Diemar) how to make it in the criminal underworld so he can take the reigns one day from his equally elderly Pops. The Thug’s advice for the youngblood? Just don’t do it. This is the kind of life that you do because you HAVE to but when you come from money, you’ll never make it. You’ll never be able to bring yourself to do the things you have to do to make it as a criminal if you can afford not to.
A chance encounter with “The Woman” (boy this movie likes to withhold names) played by Yolanda Ross begins a romance between two people who understand each other. Both have lived lousy lives and both understand the pain the comes with having to do things that are morally wrong just to live another day.
It looks like this romance might bring one small sliver of sunshine into the life of an old man who has known nothing but pain when he starts noticing he is forgetting little things. A diagnosis of a brain disease comes with terrible news – his memory will slip more and more until he will no longer be able to take care of himself. Throughout the film we see him forget more and more and it comes with the anger and violent rage that often comes when similarly afflicted people are frustrated when they can’t remember basic things.
Thus, the clock starts ticking. With a notepad to remind him of the deets, Thug sets out to make amends to those he has wronged, in particular his estranged daughter who hates him and wants nothing to do with him and a victim of one of his recent crimes that he never intended to victimize. To level up the stakes, someone is trying to kill him and he needs to figure out who.
Overall I give it a solid B. It’s worth your time. Not sure its worth a trip to the theater but definitely stream it someday. You won’t want to watch it again and again and in 6 months, you will have forgotten it, not because you have a brain disease but because it isn’t that memorable.
I will say though the title of the movie is “absolution” and it is film about a man trying to make up for past sins. It’s a film about intergenerational trauma, as Thug’s daughter explains, Thug is bad because his father was bad as was his father before, all the way back to the first “asshole caveman who spawned them all.” We carry pain our parents pass down and we have to try to not pass that pain on to our kids even though we often can’t help but do so even when we are trying not to. And we never truly start to get better until we admit we have done wrong and try to make amends with those we have wronged. So it does have a good message about how its impossible to change yet you don’t get better until you try to change. If that makes sense.
BQB here with what may be Netflix’s first Oscar contender of the year.
Based on a true story, this movie tells the story of Nurse Amy Loughren (Jessica Chastain) a nurse with a heart who always calls her patients by first name and goes out of her way to help them.
Alas, she’s in need of help herself. Speaking of hearts, she has a condition with hers that requires a heart transplant. She shouldn’t even be working. She should be at home resting and seeking treatment but she needs to be on the job four more months until her health insurance kicks in.
Thus, when Nurse Charles Cullen (Eddie Redmayne) starts working at her hospital, he’s like a godsend. Charlie helps Amy carry her workload, and even pitches in helping her raise her two daughters as a single mom. He asks for nothing in return, even the relationship itself seems platonic as he doesn’t seek any nookie or anything.
When detectives start poking around the suspicious death of one of Charlie’s patients, they unravel threads that lead to a more sinister tale. Charlie has a habit of being passed around like a bad penny from hospital to hospital. The hospital administrators always suspect foul play, but can never prove it, so they fire him on some pretense (paperwork violation, for example) send him on his way and then Charlie becomes the next hospital’s problem.
In short, Charlie is subtly killing his patients. Putting drugs in their IVs that induce death, but because many of these patients are in a bad state already, their deaths end up looking natural. One of these hospitals could have taken the lawsuit and put Charlie in jail early but instead they just choose to cover up. The problem is the hospitals don’t communicate and Charlie just takes his show down the road.
When the detectives seek Amy’s help in getting the goods on Charlie, she can hardly believe her BFF has a dark side, but she does the right thing at great personal cost, putting her health and job on the line.
STATUS: Shelf-worthy. Charlie is the first villain, though it is confounding as we are never given a reason as to why he murders other than maybe he is mad about his ex wife so takes it out on his patients. Eddie Redmayne excels in this part as a seemingly, at least on the surface, average Joe. He isn’t playing a historic figure or alien or wizard as he often does. Chastain is typical Chastain. She may be the healthiest looking heart transplant patient around, and sometimes they have her huff and puff and keel over to remind you amidst all the running around she is doing that she is sick.
The second villain is the hospital system. Cover, deflect and deny at all costs rather than take a financial hit but in so doing, take a killer nurse out of the system. Cullen was convicted of 28 counts of murder but there are suspicions he may have killed up to 400. He could have been stopped earlier.
Crazy clown women! Super sucking starfish! Genuinely weird and wacky nonsense!
BQB here with a review of The Suicide Squad.
I’ve ranted about how DC totes wrecked its movie universe before, but let me sum it up with this early quote from Amanda Waller (Viola Davis), the hard ass G-Woman who bosses the squad around, in her intro of Bloodsport, an assassin played by Idris Elba:
“He’s in here for putting Superman in the ICU with a kryptonite bullet.”
Yeah, I know, right? My reaction upon hearing that was, “Wow, I’d much rather be watching that movie right now. An assassin who bests Supes with a krypto-bullet? I’d buy a ticket and munch some popcorn to that.”
But alas, DC handles its movies the way Marvel handles its shows. You want to see Iron Man and Hulk and Thor and Captain America? Not in a Marvel Show. In a Marvel show, some ancillary character will be like, “Oh you just missed Thor. He stopped by to grab a tea and a scone and bounced.”
But that’s ok. It’s just a show. You’ll see Thor in a movie.
Meanwhile, how long has it been since we seen Superman and Batman in a movie in this latest attempt at a DCU movie universe?
But I digress.
Long story short, these films are fun in the moment. Worth a watch. You’ll be entertained, but you won’t be wowed. They’re good movies, but they aren’t great and that’s sad because they could have been great.
For the uninitiated, SS is about super villains who get conscripted into service on dangerous missions to save the country, the world, the day or what have you. Agent Waller runs the show with a device that lets her explode the baddies’ heads with an implanted chip if they try to run or disobey orders. Word has it that Amazon is testing a similar device that will ‘splode employees if they even think about taking a pee break. (I kid, I kid. Wait, do I? Yes! Yes of course. I kid. I kid. Amazon would never do such a thing. Look, just because Jeff Bezos has a net worth that is more than most small nations and can travel into space whenever he wants does not mean he is a supervillain, OK?)
Moving on.
These aren’t the good villains though. You’ll never see a team-up between Joker and Lex Luthor, although to the film’s credit it, the SS comics feature the bottom of the barrel villains too (except Harley of course, she’ll always be number one to geeks everywhere.)
OK no more rambling. A fictional banana republic nation if under new, Anti-American management after a violent coup, and Waller dispatches her flunkies to secure the data behind U.S. involvement in a clandestine research facility where ghastly experiments are underway.
All hell breaks loose, and boy howdy does this film earn its R rating. So much blood. So much dismemberment and body parts flying everywhere. So many gratuitous F bombs. Now, I’m no teetotaler and I’m not against the occasional well-placed F-bomb, but I feel like all the comic book movie makers are trying to copy Deadpool, with the idea that they can just stuff dummies into costumes, make them say “Fuck” and the result will be as funny as DP and no, no it will not because Deadpool is a comic genius whose F-Bombs are strategically timed for optimal hilarity.
Rounding out the crew are Ratcatcher Two (controller of rats and daughter of Ratcatcher One), King Shark (voiced by Sly Stallone in his best work yet) whose power is that he can eat people, mostly foes but occasionally friends and not always on accident, Polka Dot Man (the power to hurl killer, colorful dots), The Peacekeeper (John Cena stealing the show as he says hilarious things in a deadpan serious tone. He is basically an evil Captain America. Very righteous. Very patriotic, loves peace but unlike Cap, he doesn’t care how many people he has to kill, often quite unnecessarily, to get it.
Cena really shines here and while I understand F9 wasn’t a comedy, I still don’t get why they didn’t give him more to work with in that latest FF offering.
STATUS: Shelf worthy. It’s fun but also gross and not for the feint of heart. Part of me enjoyed it and part of me wondered what has become of adults? Why were adults of previous generations so hard that studios knew not to bother making such nonsense for them because they wouldn’t want it. What has changed today? Does this mean that today’s adults are silly and less serious for lapping up such drek? Because this one is definitely not for the kids. Sure, it has a shark man and a polka dot man and a clown woman but nope….not for kids. Don’t let the kids watch this one.
I was one of a handful of people who thought the 2016 version was good and I don’t think this one lives up to it but it’s a good time just the same.
My last complaint is I didn’t like what they did with Waller’s character. She is usually portrayed as very calm, cool and collected. She speaks matter of factly, never loosing her cool. She plays chess while others play checkers and is adept at forcing, blackmailing and pushing people to do bad things, literally nothing is too bad if it will keep America afloat, but she is rather stoic while doing it.
Here, she’s a screaming, obscenity spewing mess and I didn’t like it. It’s just not the badass Waller we came to know in the original.
Stream it on HBO Max…whenever HBO Max is working (which for me, isn’t often. They def have some kinks to work out of that service.)
The short version is that Moana (Auli’i Cravalho), demigod Maui (The Rock) and Moana’s incredibly dumb pet chicken set sail on a quest to return the island goddess Te Fiti’s heart (in the form of a jade stone) that Maui once stole because he’s kind of a jerkface.
Monsters big and small are fought. Moana’s chicken remains stupid.
Oh and lots of singing.
There’s not much else I can say without giving away the whole thing, but if you’re looking for something to do with the family this Thanksgiving weekend, you can’t go wrong here.
STATUS: Shelf-worthy and though I’m not a fan of 3D, it is worth seeing in 3D due to some awesome animation sequences where all kinds of crazy things happen with water.
“You do the math. You solve one problem. And then you solve another. And then another. Solve enough and you stay alive.”
– Mark Watney, The Martian
An astronaut trapped on Mars. A daring rescue mission. Matt Damon. Jeff Daniels. Jessica Chastain. Kate Mara. Sean Bean. Kristen Wiig. The list of top actors on this movie is too long to keep rattling names off but the biggest star of all?
SCIENCE!
Yes, in an age where people want more explosions, sex, and what the hell, explosive sex, Alien director Ridley Scott made a movie that not only entertains but educates.
Put on your spacesuit, 3.5 readers, and let’s talk about what this movie does not only for science, but for the world of self-publishing.
The Martian – Twentieth Century Fox
OK, first of all, let’s address the proverbial elephant on the sofa, the gorilla in the barcalounger, if you will.
But BQB! Aren’t you trapped in the middle of the East Randomtown Zombie Apocalypse?
I sure am, 3.5 readers. Luckily, I’ve got Alien Jones’ plutonium powered space phone and the Esteemed Brainy One managed to stream it for my group of survivors last night. It really lifted our spirits, because as you may have heard, we’re currently riding out the zompoc in Price Town, one of the last three stores still open at the nearly abandoned East Randomtown Mall.
HOW BIG WAS THIS MOVIE?
A “friend” of mine sent me an e-mail to let me know that this movie was so big that he’d never seen a line so long at the theater he usually goes to before. The poor chump ended up stuck in that damn front row spot. You know, the one where you have to keep your neck craned skywards for two hours and you have to look to the left when a character on the left is talking and a character on the right is talking.
What a jackass. Guy probably should have taken into account how popular the movie would be and gotten there earlier.
Either that or he could have skipped the popcorn and soda. God knows that fatty doesn’t need it.
Oh sorry, I shouldn’t speak ill of my friend on my blog. Good thing only 3.5 people read this.
THE PLOT
A storm causes a team of astronauts to abandon their mission on Mars. One of their teammates, Mark Watney, is impaled, presumed dead, and abandoned.
Whoops! He’s still alive, but the the Red Planet is so far away that NASA won’t be able to get help to him any soon.
THE SCIENCE
One of the biggest challenges for a writer is to a) explain to the reader how a character is going to extricate himself from a sticky situation with enough detail so as to not leave the reader feeling cheated and yet b) not go overboard to the point where the reader feels like dozing off.
Enter Andy Weir. The Martian is based off of Weir’s novel of the same name.
A computer programmer, Weir made all sorts of calculations, estimates, and scientific conclusions on how, in theory, an astronaut trapped on Mars could live long enough to find a way back home.
“I’m going to have to science the shit out of this,” Damon, as Watney, says.
And science the shit out of it, he does. Literally. He uses his own shit as fertilizer for potato plants. Potatoes then become Mark’s only form of sustenance and I’m willing to bet he reached a point where he never wanted to see another french fry ever again.
Aside from the potato plants, I don’t want to go into too much detail on the science angle. A) To do so would be to provide you with too many SPOILERS and b) some of it my brain was too feeble to understand and other parts I did understand but am not sure I could explain it correctly.
Suffice to say, there’s a lot of brainy people involved. NASA scientists on the ground work on a rescue plan while Watney on Mars works on his own survival.
For any kid out there interested in science, this film provides role models to look up to, not just in the form of the astronauts, but the people – technicians, engineers, specialists, scientists, etc. working to bring their colleague home.
Science, kids. It’s the way of the future.
WHAT DOES THIS MOVIE MEAN FOR SELF-PUBLISHING?
The Martian started out as a free serial on Andy’s blog. He as just a guy who really loved math, science, and space. So he took his passions and funneled them into a project to entertain his blog readers. (I bet he had more than 3.5 of them.)
As he explained in an interview with Johnny, Sean and Dave of the Self-Publishing Podcast, he put the novel on Amazon at the request of some of his readers who preferred an e-reader format over reading it on a blog. Not out to make any money and not thinking it would go anywhere, Weir put his novel on Amazon, priced it at 99-cents, and let his blog readers know it was available.
The novel took off and the rest was history.
By the way, I recommend listening to Andy’s SPP interview as it is an inspiration to anyone interested in self-publishing. Success doesn’t happen overnight and it certainly didn’t for Andy. He started blogging way back in 1999. A sixteen year journey to the big screen!
Keep plugging away, 3.5 readers/writers. Success might seem so far away as to be pointless, but then again, you’re already ahead of those who gave up.
I’ve sought out opinions as to what this movie means for self-publishers. Andy’s novel was originally self-published before he was approached by a literary agent and sold it to a big publisher.
Does this mean the general public will look at self-publishers in a whole new light? That if one man was able to take a project on his blog and turn it into a blockbuster film starring Matt Damon and other stars, might that not cause people to pay more attention to self-published works?
One person I spoke with answered no. His reasoning was the majority of the movie going public doesn’t really care who wrote a book or how the book was made. They just want to be entertained and thus this won’t do a lot to bring attention to self-publishing.
Technically, I think he’s right, but therein lies the rub.
As self-publishers, our WHOLE GOAL is to provide a piece of entertainment crafted so well that no one notices it wasn’t made by a team of big shots.
Because at the end of the day, when you turn on the TV, do you pay that much attention if a show is on NBC, CBS, or Showtime or do you just pick and watch shows because they grab your attention?
Have you ever said, “Well, I’ll never watch THAT film because it was made by Fox and Goddamn it, this is a Sony household!”
Have you ever walked into a bookstore, strolled over to the clerk, and said, “Excuse me, will you point me to the Random House books because I’m ONLY a Random House reader and I’ll never allow a Penguin book to sully my eyes!”
No. No one cares who was behind a piece of entertainment so long as it is entertaining.
And that, my 3.5 readers, is what I believe this movie does for self-publishers.
It gives their collective souls a boost. Andy Weir becomes another Hugh Howey to look up to. “If that guy did it, then I can do it too!”
After all, when Andy got his start, his readers weren’t saying, “Ugh! This book was not put out by a traditional publishing house? No thank you!”
They were saying, “An astronaut who gets trapped on Mars and has to figure out how to survive?! That sounds so cool! Sign me up!”
When you’re in the clothing store, do you check the label on that shirt that caught your eye? Nope. You’ll just buy it because you like it.
Write cool stories, 3.5 readers and if they’re entertaining enough, people won’t bother to check the label.
Thanks 3.5. I have to go fight the zombie apocalypse now.
All is forgiven for Mortdecai, Johnny. All is forgiven.
I’d announce SPOILERS though all this stuff actually happened! BQB here with a review of Black Mass.
“If nobody sees it, then it didn’t happen.”
So goes the advice of infamous Irish mobster James “Whitey” Bulger to his young son after he got in trouble for punching another kid at school. It’s a line delivered so eerily that it sets the whole tone of the movie.
It gives the viewer insight into just the kind of guy Whitey is. Most parents would tell their kid not to punch anyone. Whitey tells his to just make sure no one’s looking before he punches someone the next time.
Step aside Tony Soprano, as this true crime gangster flick shows Whitey as one cold, calculating sociopathic serial killer, leaving a trail of bodies in his wake during his tenure as the boss of an organized crime family known as the Winter Hill Gang in South Boston from the 1970s to the 1990’s.
I was a fan of The Sopranos and the ongoing theme of that show was that Tony often felt bad about his crimes. Of course, that didn’t stop him from being a murderer, but after the dirty deed, he’d feel bad, overeat, not sleep and walk around in his bathrobe and get so depressed that he’d need to go spill his guts to his confidant/ shrink Dr. Melfi.
Whitey, on the other hand – SPOILER – is able to strangle a hooker then take a nap and have dinner afterwards.
In one of the saddest turn of events in modern law enforcement history, FBI agent John Connolly struck a deal to use Bulger as an informant, but as we see in the movie, John becomes less concerned about justice and more about helping Whitey, his childhood friend, not to mention getting some extra gifts on the side.
Meanwhile, Whitey plays the FBI like a fiddle. He gives them info needed to take down a rival Italian crime family moving in on his turf, but after that, pretty much feeds them bupkis.
If this sounds familiar, you might recall 2006’s The Departed, which was somewhat based on Whitey’s reign of terror.
I’ve always felt The Departed was one of the best gangster flicks I’ve ever seen and this one does meet it.
Johnny Depp solidifies his reputation as an actor who can become anyone. He plays the ruthless yet somewhat quiet Whitey to a T and is barely recognizable on screen.
To complicate matters, Whitey’s brother was William Bulger, President of the Massachusetts Senate.
Benedict Cumberbatch plays the South Boston politician well, delivering a powerful speech about how he’ll drive crime out of South Boston just as St. Patrick drove the Romans and British out of Ireland.
Ironic, given who his brother was.
What did William know about his brother, when, and what was his involvement? Those are questions left on the table, though the film takes the standpoint that Billy basically suffered from being tied to a degenerate brother.
Can’t pick your family I guess.
Joel Edgerton turns in an excellent performance as Connolly, the fast talking Fed who always has a comeback ready to explain to his boss (played by Kevin Bacon) as to why Whitey’s being allowed to jerk the FBI around for his own personal gain.
Jesse Plemons (aka Creepy Todd from Breaking Bad) plays another creep, Whitey’s associate Kevin Weeks. Poor Jesse’s stuck playing creeps I guess.
Adam Scott (known for comedic roles such as his part as Leslie Knope’s husband, Ben Wyatt on Parks and Rec) makes his first notable foray into drama as a Fed who’s suspicious of Connolly.
Overall, it’s a solid cast. I could go into more detail, but I’d end up giving the rest of the story away.
Did Whitey win? If you’re a news watcher, you know he went on the lam in the 1990’s after being tipped off by Connolly to an impending arrest, only to be caught in Santa Monica in 2011.
You might say justice was finally found. Then again, Whitey was in his 80’s when he was nabbed so, he did get to live out his retirement years.
This is one of the first major Oscar contenders of the year and cements Depp as one of the greatest actors of our time.
If he takes home a gold statue for this, he will have earned it.
Not a single dude in tights with a cape to be seen!
Hollywood surprises us with a winner with No Escape.
Be warned: there’s “no escaping” these spoilers.
Ha. See what I did there? That guy gets it. Yes. You sir. Right there. Thanks for reading.
The setup? After his company goes belly up, Jack Dwyer (Owen Wilson) moves his wife, Annie (Lake Bell) and two young daughters to an unnamed Southeastern Asia country. It borders Vietnam and I could probably figure it out if I felt like looking for a map but I really don’t. Since it wasn’t named, I assume the movie producers weren’t looking to criticize any particular country anyway.
Before I go on, am I the only one who thought Annie was played by Idina Menzel of “Let it Go, Let it Go” fame?
The whole summer I’ve been seeing previews for this film and I’ve been like, “Huh. Elsa’s flexing her acting chops. Good for her.”
And throughout the whole movie, I was like, “Wow. That ‘Let it Go’ chick is really letting an ass whooping go on these bad guys.”
But it wasn’t Idina Menzel. It was Lake Bell. But I swear they look alike, so much so that Idina Menzel will probably get an award for being in this movie that she wasn’t even in.
Plus, I have to be honest, I’ve never heard of Lake Bell before, so now I’m wondering how many times I’ve seen her in other stuff and assumed it was Idina Menzel.
Mind=blown.
Anyway, the Dwyers aren’t settled into their new digs for more than a few hours when rebels storm the city, overrun the police and military, and start rounding up and shooting Americans/Brits/Aussies, various others they’ve identified as foreign devils.
It’s up to Jack to save his family as the Dwyers manage to stay just a few steps away from being slaughtered throughout the entire film.
People who are used to Owen Wilson being that happy go lucky, laid back mellow dude will be surprised to see him in this role. He still is that “dude” but this movie asks us to consider all the terrible things we might do to save our families, from taking a drastic chance that they’ll survive being thrown across a large gap between rooftops (note in real life they won’t) to beating a man to death who refuses to keep quiet.
It’s like Dupree but with killing.
You, Me and Dupree. God that movie sucked. Don’t even get me started on Drillbit Taylor. All is forgiven though, Owen, you’ve really redeemed yourself with this one.
Pierce Brosnan rounds out the cast as Hammond, a British badass adventurer type who comes to the Dwyer’s aid. He’s a bit mysterious but we’re alerted to his badassery early on when he informs Jack’s kids that he extracted the tiger tooth he’s wearing on a necklace from an actual tiger.
Reviewers have referred to this movie as “stressful” and it is. The stakes are high. We’ve seen a lot of super hero movies this summer with cartoonish violence. I’m not knocking them. I love them. But when a movie focuses around whether a family with two little kids is going to make it or not, it becomes a lot more real than, say, whether or not Iron Man’s suit gets a dent in it.
Love the comic book movies, but it’s good to see that Hollywood hasn’t completely forgotten that action can happen to the non-caped as well.
Bookshelf Q. Battler here with a review of Entourage, the movie continuation of HBO’s comedy series that lampoons the Hollywood lifestyle and our obsession with it.
Movie Trailer – Entourage – Warner Brothers – 2015
I have to admit I never really watched the series during its 2004-2011 run. A toned down version was syndicated for awhile and I’d often leave it running in the background while I did other things, thus giving me a little exposure to the world of this group who left Brooklyn for California in search of fame and fortune. In general, I knew that Vinny (Adrian Grenier) was the movie star and he never went anywhere without his brother, Johnny/Drama (Kevin Dillion) and buddy/manager Eric (Kevin Connolly) and his other friend/driver Turtle (Jerry Ferrara).
The driving force behind the series was Vince’s agent, Ari Gold (Jeremy Piven) who comically threatened/swore/shouted at everyone to get his way, often stressing out to the point where it affected his marriage with his wife, who we’re only introduced to as Mrs. Ari (Perry Reeves). Meanwhile, Ari heaps untold amounts of abuse on his assistant, “Gaysian” (gay asian) Lloyd, so much so that one wonders how any of it got on the air as the early 2000’s, though not as politically correct as today, was still a fairly PC time. Of course, the whole point of the Ari/Lloyd interactions is to display Ari as a jerk, so maybe that’s why it flies.
As I took in the flick, I quickly realized that casually watching the syndicated version of Entourage did not give me the real experience of the show. After all, editing out Ari’s swears, not to mention the other characters’ depravity, clearly made the show pointless in retrospect. I enjoyed the movie to the point where I’ll have to check out the unedited series now.
Even so, people who know nothing about the show will ease into the film just fine. There’s a brief explanation of who all the characters are. At the start of the film, Vinny’s at the height of his career and wants to direct his next picture. Ari has moved from agent to head of a major studio. Kevin remains as Vinny’s trusted manager and the short jokes continue to come at him. Drama is the running joke of Hollywood, that loser who has a bit part in every movie but can’t catch a break that will bring him to the big time. Turtle has made a fortune in a tequila company but still drives Vinny anyway.
And Ari? He’s still yelling, swearing and driving Mrs. Ari up the wall.
The film is basically one extended series episode. Ari agrees to allow Vinny to direct the futuristic sci-fi flick, Hyde, a movie version of the classic Dr. Jeykll and Mr. Hyde tale. To everyone’s surprise, Vinny actually does a great job, though he does need an extra $5 million as he’s gone over budget. Alas, the hijinx ensue when the Texas tycoon financing the film (Billy Bob Thornton) sends his dimwitted son Travis (Haley Joel Osment) to check out the film and see if it’s worth dumping more cash into.
Ari and the gang steadfastly defend the movie but Travis, who knows nothing of filmmaking, has tons of ridiculous changes he wants to make, thus giving the audience an insider’s view into some of the behind the scenes nonsense that goes on behind the production of their favorite films.
A party on a yacht with scantily clad models. Another party at a mansion with scantily clad models. Fast cars. Beautiful scenery. Obscenely good looking people. Half the film makes you wonder what you did wrong to not find your way into this lifestyle yet the over half, with all the petty squabbling that goes on, leaves you thinking you might not be missing out on all that much.
Hollywood is a place where dreams come true and magic comes alive, but it’s also a place where good looking crybabies are spoiled rotten and insulated from the daily grind that normal people experience. The series and the movie poke fun at both sides well.
Cameos are abundant with a number of actors, musicians, and sports legends performing walk-ons. UFC fighter turned action star Ronda Rousey plays Turtle’s love interest, kicking his ass in the octagon in one of the funnier parts of the movie. (Admittedly, as Bookshelf Q. Battler, I’ve always been interested in finding a woman who is hot yet also large and strong enough to defend me from the Yeti and so Ms. Rousey has left me intrigued.)
Is it cinema gold? No. But that’s the point as the film makes fun of itself as well as the industry that pumps out the schlock that we’re glued to 24/7.
Will this film appeal to everyone? Well, let’s just say it’s an acquired taste. If you have an idolized view of Hollywood or have a tendency to put your favorite actors/actresses on a pedestal, you might want to skip it. After all, who wants to see how the sausages are made as long as they’re delicious at the end of the day?
Recently, one of my noble 3.5 readers accused this blogger of mincing words. I described San Andreas as “not the best film I’ve ever seen but not the best either.”
The aforementioned reader had a point. As a reviewer, I need to take a side.
Luckily, Cameron Crowe’s romcom Aloha makes it easy for me to be clear:
Bookshelf Q. Battler here with a review of one of the worst damn movies he’s ever seen in his entire life.
Aloha – Sony Pictures
Some movies are entrees – served up with expert precision, arranged on your plate in such a beautiful manner that you almost don’t want to eat them out of fear that once you do, the experience will be over.
Then, some movies are like a five dollar all you can eat buffet. You shove a little bit of everything in your cake hole and the only result is that you leave feeling bloated and gassy.
With several storylines that meander all over and never quite hit their mark, Aloha, I’m sad to say, is one of those buffet movies.
OBLIGATORY SPOILER WARNING
I’m sad to say it because it’s not the star studded cast’s fault. Bradley Cooper (Gilcrest) is charming, Emma Stone (Captain Ng) is adorable, and Bill Murray (Welch) is his usual zany self, though he’s more reserved these days as an elder statesman of comedy. Rachel McAdams (Tracy) aptly plays Gilcrest’s long lost love while John Krasinski provides one of the funnier (dare I say redeeming) scenes of the film as Woodside, Tracy’s husband who, despite his strong silent type demeanor is able to communicate all he needs to say to Gilcrest with a few looks and a shoulder grab.
Plot lines are tossed at the audience like they’re tennis balls stuffed into a serve-o-matic machine stuck on the automatic setting.
Gilcrest and Tracy have to deal with their baggage. Woodside has to learn how to communicate with his wife with actual words. Ng is all business and is a zealous defender of native Hawaiian culture, Gilcrest has to choose between his job or his new love interest. Welch is trying to launch his own space weapon in the guise of a communications satellite and those are just the highlights.
Character development isn’t the film’s strong suit. We’re shown a brief Afghanistan flashback scene where Gilcrest is so distraught over his life that he doesn’t care when he’s shot by (I guess they were terrorists? It wasn’t really explained). Welch lobs an accusation that Gilcrest took a hundred thousand dollar bribe during his time in Afghanistan and that enormous plot line is never fully resolved, thus putting me in the awkward position of being expected by Hollywood to hope that an alleged traitor to his country will overcome the obstacles standing between him and his new lady love in true sappily sweet romantic comedy fashion.
No thanks.
Sadly, the film has two important messages that get lost amidst all the tomfoolery:
1) All those vacation brochures you drool over that make you wish you could be in Hawaii right now are all well and good, but America isn’t in it for the macademia nuts and pretty scenery. Hawaii serves as the lynchpin of America’s sphere of influence in the Pacific. Seeing as how the islands play a vital role when it comes to U.S. global interests, we could probably do more to help the native people who call it home, many of whom aren’t exactly thrilled that we’re there.
2) Over the past several years, space exploration has moved from government to private business control, with the claim fed to the populace that this is somehow a great move, that the uber rich will be able to dump more money into space technology than governments can. That may be true, but as this film warns, people like Welch might use that power for unsavory purposes, though a billionaire trying to launch his own weaponized satellite seems like it’s more fitting in a James Bond film than a romcom.
Overall, the movie isn’t so much a cooked to perfection filet mignon so much as it is a bubbling over gumbo where Crowe, as chef, just tossed everything in his kitchen into the pot. Is this a story about one man’s attempt to find hope again after the world has put him through the ringer? Is it about love? Is it about the military industrial complex?
The best description I can give is that Crowe took his signature work, Jerry Maguire, mixed it up with one of Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan novels, then went heavy on the romantic comedy angle, shortchanged the seedy, dirty military contractor angle and left the audience thinking that sadly, the no plot action film starring the ex-wrestler in the theater next door might have been the better choice this weekend…
Bookshelf Battle 