I saw this movie by accident, I swear, but since I did I’m going to review it anyway.
SPOILERS ahead but really, who cares.
BQB here with a review of the R rated comedy, Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates.
I actually meant to see The Infiltrator because I’m a big Bryan Cranston fan but a mistake I made in reading the movie times lead me to the East Randomtown Cineplex only to find it wasn’t playing. So I settled for Mike and Dave instead.
The commercials looked funny enough, but on its own, it just didn’t look like something that would have gotten me out to the theater.
Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, the plot is in the title. Mike (Adam Devine of the Workaholics crew) and Dave (Zac Efron), after years of destroying one family gathering after another with their hi jinx, are ordered by their parents that they will only be allowed to attend their sister’s wedding if they find dates who will go with them and keep them out of trouble.
One Craigslist ad and thousands of responses later (because being their dates comes with a free trip to Hawaii), Alice (Anna Kendrick) and Tatiana (Aubrey Plaza) weasel their way into the picture. They are, in truth, terrible, horrible people whose own exploits make those of Mike and Dave seem tame in comparison, but they fool the duo into thinking they are nice girls in order to get a free vacation.
Blah blah blah, raunchy shenanigans ensue to threaten the wedding, everyone has to work together, that’s about it.
Oh, and you might see Aubrey Plaza’s butt. I can’t confirm it. Whenever I see a butt on screen I don’t automatically assume it belongs to the celebrity because celebrities have been known to use stunt butts. Either way, Aubrey has been missed since Parks and Recreation so it was fun to see her in action.
You might also see like the top half of Anna Kendrick’s butt. However, I again am unable to confirm if this is the real top half of Anna’s butt or if it is, in fact, a stunt butt.
Personally, I really think that somewhere in the credits, movies should list whether the butts displayed actually belonged to the celebrities or if they were, in fact, stunt butts. Otherwise, I have no way of knowing whether or not I actually saw a stunt butt and it leaves the entire experience with an asterix.
It’s a moron movie but it’s funny.
STATUS: Shelf-worthy but not theater worthy. It’s a rental.
Ghostbusters with vaginas. What will they think of next?
Who you gonna call?
SPOILER BUSTERS.
Because…spoilers.
BQB here with a review of the revamped Ghostbusters.
I can’t think of another movie that inspired so much hype, controversy, nerd rage and socio-politcal debate.
So rather than an all out review, I’ll anticipate and answer the questions of my 3.5 readers.
WAS IT GOOD?
Yes. It was your pretty standard summer movie.
WAS IT BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL?
No, because that was too perfect. “Alexander wept because he had no more worlds to conquer.”
As a movie-goer, I weep because there’s very little Hollywood can do to wow me. All the special effects tricks have been discovered, CGI has been around forever, every line has been crossed, every boundary has been pushed.
The original film mixed special effects, action and comedy into something no one had ever seen before. I was wowed when I saw it as a little kid. Thirty some odd years later, I’ve seen it all now when it comes to movies. I suppose there won’t be a new boundary to push until they create some kind of immersive virtual reality movie or something.
Millennials, you’ll never experience the awe I did as a boy sitting in a theater with a crowd of people who had never seen life like ghosts on screen for the first time. But don’t feel too bad because all that really means in the grand scheme of things is I’ve got less time before I become a ghost than you do.
DID HAVING AN ALL FEMALE CAST RUIN THE MOVIE?
No. Anyone who takes up the Ghostbusters gauntlet has taken on a massive challenge. “Oh yes. Let me remake the movie that every adult remembers fondly from their childhood.”
No. No pressure at all.
But they did about as good as anyone could under that pressure.
They were funny. They played their characters well. In my opinion, Kate McKinnon as wacky inventor Holtzmann and Leslie Jones as “keeping it real” Patty stole the show.
I’M A WOMAN AND I FEEL THAT I AM DISCRIMINATED AGAINST DUE TO MY OWNERSHIP OF A VAGINA. WILL THIS FILM STOP THAT?
Probably not. McKinnon and Jones, as well as Melissa McCarthy and Kristen Wiig were all believable as three scientists and a New York history buff turned paranormal investigators and eliminators.
They didn’t really do anything to overtly point out that “hey we’re lady Ghostbusters.” Instead, they went through the same difficulties the original Ghostbusters went through i.e. trying to figure out the science of ghost busting without blowing themselves up while the fate of the world is on the line.
That’s a lot of pressure for anyone, whether they have a penis or a vagina.
There was a running gag where they post their ghost footage to YouTube and have to deal with crackpot social media comments, an obvious dig at the online backlash the film went through.
WAS IT RACIST TO HAVE MADE LESLIE JONES’ CHARACTER THE ONLY NON-SCIENTIST?
Hmm. Well, I doubt that was the intent. Her character is a subway worker who in her spare time studies New York City history, thus her knowledge of what lies underneath the city and its history becomes essential to the team.
In other words, she wasn’t a scientist but she wasn’t dumb either.
WAS IT FUNNY?
There were times that I laughed. There were jokes that fell flat. Funniest moments came from Holtzmann, Patty, and the gang’s super dumb man-secretary, Kevin (Chris Hemsworth.)
For me personally, there were not any of the gut-busting, uncontrollable “I can’t stop laughing” laughs which is what you’d like to see in a Ghostbusters movie.
WAS IT JUST A REHASH OF THE ORIGINAL?
Yes and no. There were many repeats and homages to the fans’ favorite jokes and/or scenes. I’ll let you watch and pick them out on your own.
Plot wise, there is a lot of similarity. Scientists create inventions to catch ghosts. Because they are breaking new ground, they make mistakes along the way. The public can’t comprehend the existence of ghosts so they think the Ghostbusters are charlatans. They butt heads with the Mayor and the government. Oh, and Slimer.
The ghosts look great with modern CGI/special effects but again, something about seeing all that in 1984 when it was new made it more awesome.
But – there was a lot of effort to redevelop the plot. Without getting too spoilery, the villain, Rowan, is a big nerd who wants to get back at the world for all the bullying he went through by unleashing ghosts upon the world.
Most of the original cast members have fun cameos. Bill Murray, Dan Akroyd, Ernie Hudson, Sigourney Weaver and Annie Potts stop by, not as their original characters but as random folks the new Ghostbusters meet along the way.
Sadly, Rick Moranis didn’t stop by though that would have been cool. Even sadder, Harold Ramis is no longer able to stop by but there was a touching nod to him.
AM I A HORRIBLE ANTI-FEMALE PIECE OF SHIT IF I DIDN’T LIKE THE MOVIE?
I don’t think so. You may have not liked it for any number of non-female hating reasons. Maybe you think Hollywood is filled with hacks who can’t come up with original ideas anymore. Maybe you loved the original so much you think it was blasphemous to create a new one (newsflash – the original one is still available and you can watch it anytime!)
You might even argue that as fans, we have long waited for the Ghostbusters to do something new. Yes, this is new but I mean new as in, don’t save New York again but perhaps delve into the myriad of possible threats that a team of ghost investigators might face.
In fact, given that three out of the four original Ghostbusters are alive and in relatively good condition given their age, one wonders if, in the right hands, a movie where we see what the old Ghostbusters have been up to for the past thirty years before they pass the baton to a new team might have been possible. Then again, I have to remind myself that would have only been interesting to anyone under 35 years old. Sorry over 35 crowd, but Hollywood just considers you a waste of space.
I liked it. I didn’t LOVE it. It isn’t something I’ll want to rewatch over and over. But as summer movies go, it did satisfy the prerequisites – i.e. I got to escape my problems for two hours and I had a good time.
BUT IF I DIDN’T LIKE THE MOVIE, IS IT DUMB TO SAY THINGS LIKE “OH MY GOD THIS RUINED MY LIFE” OR WHATEVER?
Yes. It’s just a movie.
WAS THERE SOMETHING AS AN ASPIRING SELF-PUBLISHER THAT YOU’D LIKE TO POINT OUT?
Yes. Abby (McCarthy) and Erin (Wiig) begin the film as estranged friends who once co-wrote a book about the existence of ghosts.
Years later after going their separate ways (Abby wanted to keep chasing ghosts while Erin wanted to pursue a career as a serious professor), Erin’s efforts to secure a tenured physics professor position become threatened when Abby puts their ghost book up for sale on Amazon, so she seeks out Abby to demand that she take the book down.
Self-publishing made it into a Ghostbusters movie!
WHAT STATUS DO YOU GIVE IT?
STATUS: Shelf-worthy. And due to the CGI ghosts, worth seeing on the big screen.
BQB here with a review of The Purge: Election Year.
SPOILERS abound.
So if you’ve never seen any of the Purge movies, here’s the set-up. It takes place in the not so distant future, at a time when society, so sick and tired of daily, non-stop crime, has instituted one night a year called, “the Purge.”
For 12 hours, all crime is legal, including murder. Police, fire and emergency services are suspended. Do whatever you want. And at least according to the film, the ability for everyone to get out all their violence and rage in one night makes the country run smoothly the rest of the year.
At a first glance, the premise sounds dumb. They like to go over the top with violence. They put people in wacky costumes and masks to the point where they’ve created a new kind of monster (forget zombies, watch out for purgers!)
But, when you start thinking about it, the premise of these films is actually scary.
We all like to hold ourselves out as great, wonderful, decent people but I doubt few of us spend much time thinking about what monsters we’d become if the threat of jail time wasn’t dangling over our heads.
No one wants to admit it but everyone has bad thoughts from time to time. Those thoughts don’t become actions because no one wants to be outfitted with an orange jumpsuit and live in a cage forever.
But if there was one night where you could act on all your evil thoughts?
Yup. Total chaos. We all aren’t as good as you’d think.
In past Purge films we’ve seen people kill their cheating spouses, attack their neighbors over spite, seek revenge on those who did them wrong, and even worse, just kill for sport.
When that eerie siren sounds, you the viewer realize just how scary a world without laws would be, as you start to put yourself into the shoes of the characters and realize that no one’s safe, no one can be trusted, that the rule of law is really all that is keeping people we think we know from doing terrible things to us.
There’s a twist in this year’s Purge film. Senator Roan (Elizabeth Mitchell) is running for president on a platform of banning the purge once and for all. The New Founding Fathers, the party that started the purge, won’t stand for that, so they get rid of a rule from previous purges – politicians and other important government officials, once protected during the purge, are now fair game, thus making it legal for the NFF to launch an attack on the Senator.
So it is up to Secret Service Agent Leo Barnes (Frank Grillo) to save the day. Along the way, he’s helped by shopkeepers Joe and Marcos (Mykelti Williamson and Joseph Julian Soria) and Laney (Betty Gabriel) who protests the purge by running an ambulance of her own.
In my opinion, the first film in the series was good and the next two have gone increasingly over the rails. I think in a world of reboots and sequels, the people behind these movies came up with something original and frightening – i.e. that person you see everyday at work, in your neighborhood, etc. may seem nice but given the chance to do it legally, might just try to hack you to pieces for some perceived slight (you forgot to say hello to him, didn’t hold the door open or whatever).
It looks like they’re trying to build up this purge world with purge folklore and people fighting to keep the purge and people fighting to stop the purge but amidst it all, the producers shouldn’t lose sight of how watching this movie can make you appreciate that the law is all that keeps humans from acting out on their base animal instincts.
STATUS: Not shelf-worthy. Don’t rush out to see it. Worth a rental.
Oh those irascible fish and their wacky shenanigans.
I’m not really going to do an in-depth review, other than to say I liked it. I remember seeing the first one, back when I was young and you know, still believed in shit.
The Pixar technology was still relatively new and therefore impressive because people hadn’t seen that much of it at the time.
It is a big undertaking to do a sequel to a perfect classic but sure enough, Disney/Pixar made a worthy sequel. It’s touching, funny and without offering a spoiler, there’s a part in it I found pretty hilarious.
A shark takes a bite out of Blake Lively’s phat ass and comes back for more.
BQB here with a review of The Shallows.
SPOILERS.
OK, so the shark doesn’t take a bite out of Blake’s bodacious booty though let’s be honest, could anyone have blamed him? I mean not an actual “bite” bite but still.
Hmm…that joke didn’t land? That’s ok. Nothing new for the Bookshelf Battle Blog.
The set-up? Nancy (Blake), depressed over the loss of her mother to cancer, takes a sojourn from medical school to do some surfing in a shallow cove.
A shark bites her leg and then from thereon it’s about two hours of Blake swimming from rock to rock, trying to think up ways to outfox the finned freak.
I knew very little of this film going into it but it was an enjoyable surprise. I assume it was low budget and if so, it is an example of a lot being done with very little. A cove. Special shark effects. A hot, scantily clad chick.
I liked it. And though the Blakester never gets totally nekkid, she’s in a bikini throughout.
Oh wait. I’m not supposed to notice those things.
STATUS: Shelf-worthy and worth a trip to the theater, not just for wide-screened shots of Blake’s badonka donk but also for scary shark attacks!
I’ll tell you what I want, want I really really want…SPOILERS!
Back in 1996, Robbie Wierdick (no I’m sure no kids made fun of that name) was an overweight nerd with no friends. But when big man on campus Calvin Joyner (Kevin Hart) showed him a kindness that no one else would, he never forgot it.
Flashforward twenty years and Robbie is now Bob Stone (the Rock). There’s been a total role reversal. Bob’s whipped himself into shape and has become a badass CIA agent whereas Cal, once voted most likely to succeed, now lives the boring life of an accountant.
Blah blah blah…through a hilarious sequence of events, Bob and Cal end up working together on a mission to save the world.
It’s your typical Kevin Hart film. Kevin gets thrust into a dangerous situation and then hilariously whines and tries to wiggle his way out.
The running joke of the film is that Bob (again, remember, he’s played by the Rock), despite having become a ripped secret agent, still pretty much acts like his old nerdy self.
In other words, there was probably a contest in the writer’s room to see how many dorky things they could get the Rock to say. (Highlights – he loves unicorns, can’t get enough of Molly Ringwald, and his voicemail message plays the Spice Girls.)
Speaking of the Spice Girls, there’s a whole plethora of 1990’s references as the action circles around Bob and Cal trying to save the day in time to get to their twentieth high school reunion.
Sheesh. Was 1996 really 20 years ago?
Damn it. That means Bob and Cal saw Independence Day after they graduated, with no idea that twenty years later there’d be a ridiculous sequel.
Hollywood, why are you insisting on reminding me that 1996 was twenty years ago? Boo!
STATUS: Shelf-worthy, but again, follows the pretty standard Kevin Hart film formula. No need to rush out to the theater for it, but worth a rental for the laughs and 90’s flashbacks.
Grab a vine and swing your ass on over to my review of The Legend of Tarzan.
Ah-ee-ahh-ee-ahh!
SPOILERS.
I’ve had a hankering to catch this flick ever since the trailers came out. It looks beautiful and it is. The African landscapes, CGI animals, high stakes man vs. gorilla battles – it’s worth putting your butt in a theater seat for two hours.
The film itself suffers from schizophrenia. The Hollywood suits apparently decided that a straight up origin story would be a no go and God bless them, because just as I don’t need to see Bruce Wayne’s parents shot for the 1000th time, I don’t need an in-depth film about Tarzan’s backstory either.
Though it isn’t as well known, we get the gist. British family is shipwrecked off the coast of Africa. Young boy is raised by gorillas and becomes Tarzan, King of the Jungle.
(Millennials, I know you’re all rushing to your social media to declare that this movie is evidence that Harambe didn’t need to be shot and that if left to his own devices, he would have raised that kid that fell into his enclosure to become a mighty warrior. Stop. Just stop. Stop embarrassing yourselves.)
Anyway, the story begins with Lord Clayton (formerly known as Tarzan) at a time where he has returned to England and accepted his noble title and all the wealth and honors that come with it. He’s played by Alexander Skarsgard so all you ladies who enjoyed watching him take his shirt off in True Blood, here’s your chance to get a taste of what you’ve been missing.
He’s married to Jane, played by Margot Robbie. Robbie actually does some bonafide, legitimate acting in this movie which depresses me because the more her career takes off, the less likely I’ll see her jumblies on screen ala Wolf of Wall Street ever again.
Bah, it’s the same old song and dance. At first, all the actresses are tripping over themselves to show the world their good and plenties and then once they get a little fame the goodies go on lockdown forever.
The short version – Clayton and Jane are lured to the Congo under the pretenses of a diplomatic mission. American diplomat George Washington Williams (Samuel L. Jackson) joins them and mostly serves to be that guy the audience can relate to. He can’t believe that Tarzan can do half the shit he does and neither can we.
Alas, the villain, Leon Rom (Christoph Waltz branching out from playing evil Germans to play an evil Belgian this go around) has other plans.
The aforementioned schizophrenia comes in because while the film is about Tarzan’s return to the jungle, it’s a big ass flashback fest, where we’re treated to recurring glimpses of the past that led Tarzan to the path he’s on now.
Lots of action. Visually pleasing. Really, you have nothing better to do this weekend. If you’re reading this blog you need to get out more so start by going to see this.
Or stay in and rent Wolf of Wall Street because to the world’s collective chagrin, Margot’s days of going buff on film are over.
It really is a shame the effect that fame has on photogenic jumblies.
From the far reaches of space, aliens travel to Earth…
…to remind me that I am now old as f%&kT and have accomplished very little in 20 years.
Although in my defense, neither has the world! So there’s that.
SPOILERS abound.
BQB here with a review of Independence Day: Resurgence.
The year was 1996.
Bill Clinton was in the White House, chasing interns around the Oval Office with his pants around his ankles and turning Monica Lewinsky into a human humidor (Google it, millennials. It’s too disgusting to go into further detail.)
The Beastie Boys were laying down some of their ill-est shit.
The sentence “Bill Cosby gave that lady his pudding pop” could only have been construed as “that nice comedic father figure was kind enough to give a woman the delicious frozen snack treat that he endorses.”
The Internet was in its infancy. It was a cute toy but other than that no one saw a glaring need to pay a fee to tie up your phone line while your computer screeched at you.
People who took pictures of their lunch and then demanded that you a) look at the pictures of their lunch and b) make comments about their lunch were considered assholes.
Technically, those people didn’t even exist, or if they did, not in high numbers. Again, the Internet was in its infancy. If you wanted your own website you needed coding knowledge and technical know-how. It was just too much work to post pictures of your lunch.
And at the box office was a movie called Independence Day.
Yes, in a pure marketing move, it was released on July 4th. Independence Day.
Those aliens know how to screw up a barbecue.
In the original, aliens invade Earth. In a far flung story line, various groups and people react to the alien attack.
To the best of my recollection, you had Bill Pullman as the president, who was also a fighter pilot, for no other reason really than he got to make inspiring speeches and then fly around in a fighter jet and shoot at alien spaceships.
Oh and there was Randy Quaid as a guy who appeared to be a drunk jackass who was crazy for believing he’d been abducted by aliens as a kid only to be vindicated. Humorous. Also, he was, coincidentally, a pilot as well so he too enjoyed the alien shooting fun.
Of course, the big star was Will Smith as Capt. Hiller, the pilot/hero who saves the day.
(SPOILER ALERT – he and Jeff Goldblum fly a stolen alien fighter craft into the mothership, fooling the aliens just long enough for them to upload a virus with the help of a 90’s era Mac and a floppy disk.)
Seemed ingenious at the time.
Twenty years have now passed.
Holy f%&king butt nuggets. Twenty years.
3.5 readers, here’s my first criticism of this highly unnecessary sequel.
It made me think too much about my life – how quickly the past two decades went by. Mistakes made. Things I could have done differently.
How is it possible that I went from a wide-eyed young lad thinking this new fangled CGI movie was pretty cool (CGI effects were fairly new to the movie scene in those days so as a movie goer, they were a treat. I feel bad for you millennials as you have nothing to look forward to now, unless virtual reality actually ends up being as big as they claim it will be).
Where was I? Ah yes. How did I go from that young kid wowed by CGI to a jaded adult who has now seen so much CGI that it just doesn’t have them same wow factor that it did when it was new?
Shit. Then there’s me in general. Twenty years ago I thought by now I’d be a really amazing, fabulous person.
Had you told me back then that in 20 years my greatest achievement would be starting a blog with 3.5 readers my response would be a) “What’s a blog?” and then b) “Oh, it’s a website that any asshole with $10 and rudimentary typing skills can start? Excuse me while I GO STICK MY HEAD IN THE MOVIE THEATER RESTROOM TOILET AND FLUSH IT UNTIL I DROWN TO SPARE MYSELF THIS INCREDIBLY DISAPPOINTING FUTURE!!!”
Nah. I wouldn’t have done that. I’d have just vowed that I’d work harder and make a difference. You millennials weren’t the first generation to view yourselves as special snowflakes.
At any rate, I spent most of this movie paying little attention to the action on screen. Instead, I went over the multitude of mistakes I made, opportunities missed, warning signs avoided, paths not taken and so on that led me to a point where the highlight of my day is writing a review of a highly unnecessary sequel to a movie that was dumb twenty years ago.
Even worse, so little has changed in the world since then when you think about it:
A Bush had recently been president before Clinton became president.
Since then, another Bush became president. Then a third Bush recently tried to become president. Also, another Clinton wants to be president. At least if the Clintons end up back in the White House, the interns will have a head start this time. Bill isn’t looking as spry as he used to be.
Trump’s hair defied gravity and laws of physics, back in the 1990s and today.
Cars don’t fly yet. We have yet to meet real space aliens. Oh, and the Simpsons are still on the air.
And yet, despite all of these similarities, there were some differences between then and now that made the original film more enjoyable…then.
Specifically:
I was young and more willing to suspend disbelief. (Bill Pullman as a President/Alien Fighter seemed perfectly plausible.)
Seeing landmarks getting blown up by aliens seemed like harmless fantasy drivel back in the day. As I recall, the aliens in the original film blow up the White House so as to illustrate to you, the viewer that they were evil ass aliens who meant business and were not to be f%&ked with. Since 9/11, such scenes just seems to hit too close to home.
And like I said before, CGI was in its early stages, so it was awesome to see. Then George Lucas came along and made those cartoonish Star Wars prequels.
OK. Shit. 1,000 words in, let’s talk about the sequel itself.
It’s twenty years later and the world has become a Utopia. A casino magnate with gravity defying hair and the lady who ran the country in the 90’s by shoving her hand up her husband’s ass and working his mouth like a puppet (oh come on, you know she did) aren’t vying for control of the Free World.
Rather, the entire world is free and humanity works together as humans have set aside their differences in order to keep a watchful eye out for future alien invasions.
Alien tech has been used to create all sorts of wonderful inventions that improve life and make people happy.
And then, you know, aliens invade again. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, some people do some shit over here, some other people do some shit over there, cut in some scenes of shit getting blown up around the world, and so on.
There are new cast members like Liam Hemsworth, but mostly the film consists of the actors from the original who never did anything better than this bullshit.
Thus, Jeff Goldblum is back, as is Judd Hirsch as his father. Bill Pullman is back though I wish he wasn’t because I feel like it was just yesterday that I saw him in Spaceballs as Lone Star and now he’s old as f%&k.
And in general, that’s my main complaint. Will Smith didn’t return, I assume, because the studio didn’t want to shell out the cash now that he’s a big box office draw (you might remember the original Independence Day plus Men in Black made Will a celebrity icon.)
So Will is nowhere to be found. But everyone without anything better to do is back, and they are all old as shit, which makes me feel old as shit.
I literally think this movie was made for the sole purpose of making me feel old as shit.
HOLLYWOOD SUIT 1 – Should we make a sequel to Independence Day?
HOLLYWOOD SUIT 2 – Yes! It will make BQB feel old as shit!
There are many references to the original, shit that you probably wouldn’t get unless you saw the first one (and also if you’re a nerd like me who has seen it a few more times over the years so you remember what happened.)
The aliens are still slapping Bill Pullman’s face up against the glass and speaking through him as if he’s their puppet (I assume they got the idea by watching Hillary work Bill).
Jeff and Judd are still the unlikely father/son hero duo, except Judd’s still alive which is surprising as I thought he was old as shit twenty years ago.
Eat your Wheaties kids and you too can aspire to Judd Hirsch’s longevity!
Robert Loggia has a quick cameo though I think it might have been a CGI Loggia. Someone tell me if you have the details on that one.
Oh and Brent Spiner (aka Data from Star Trek: The Next Generation) is back as the eccentric Dr. Brakish Okun.
The plot is basically the same bullshit about aliens invading and their invasion happens to be coincidentally timed on Independence Day so Americans can feel very patriotic while watching a movie about Americans defeating aliens on the same day that the British were told to go pound sand.
Although, I have to point out, some Hollywood suit must have decided this sequel didn’t have the gusto to put butts in seats on the Fourth of July, seeing as how it was released in June.
You’ll know this franchise has hit the wall when they release an Independence Day sequel that hits theaters in January.
Oh and FYI – there will be another sequel. It will also be unnecessary and serve as little more than a reminder that 20 years have passed, your life sucks more than you thought it would and the world doesn’t even have flying cars.
Shit. Stop remaking 90s shit, Hollywood.
Next you’ll tell me there’s a Mallrats TV show in the works.
Wait? What?
STATUS: Semi-shelf worthy. The effects are worth a trip to the theater. Otherwise, if you miss it, you didn’t miss much.
Hollywood just made two hours of my life disappear.
If you don’t want SPOILERS to appear, look away.
BQB here with a review of Now You See Me 2.
Some critics made fun of it but I actually liked the first Now You See Me.
Sure, the plot, the “magic” and everything that happened in the movie was highly unlikely…but in a time of rebooted reboots of sequels to reboots, IT WAS *GASP* AN ORIGINAL IDEA!
If you missed the first one, check it out. Basically, a group of magicians (the Vegas performer kind of magicians, not to be confused with pointy hat wearing wizards) called “the Four Horsemen” use their magic skills in Robin Hood style, robbing from a corrupt/rich insurance company tycoon played by Michael Caine and giving to the poor.
So I was up for a second one and…meh.
Yeah. I’m sorry but “meh.”
Razzle dazzle was the original’s hook. The magic shows/tricks were fun to watch and in your mind you try to figure out how the performers did it. Plus, they convinced me that Michael Caine’s character was douche-tastic enough to deserve to be robbed.
But in the sequel, they kind of just went back to the same well. Michael Caine is still the villain, but this time his son, played by Daniel Radcliffe of Harry Potter fame, does most of his dirty work.
I don’t want to be part of the “let’s all typecast Daniel Radcliffe as Harry Potter so he never gets another acting job again” movement. I realize he’s been in other movies since Harry Potter.
This is the only one I have seen and in my opinion, he did well in the role. Of course, the role was of a British nerd, so yeah, Daniel did just fine.
That’s not a dig on British nerds. We love you, nerds across the pond.
I have a complaint about an issue that I wish I knew more about.
Isla Fisher played the female horseman or “horse woman” in the original and she didn’t return for the sequel.
I don’t know why and wasn’t able to find any info on it. I don’t know if it was a case where she didn’t want to return, the studio decided to not have her return or what have you.
Lizzy Caplan joins the group as the new female horsewoman.
She’s very funny and in many ways, the star of the show, but it does send a message that females are interchangeable in movies.
It happens a lot in big ensemble movies like this one. All the dudes return but for whatever reason, they just swap out one hot chick for another hot chick.
The movie suffers from crammage – too much going on packed in to two hours and not enough time to address it all.
Mark Ruffalo returns as an FBI agent/magician (which continues to be an unlikely pairing of abilities). Magic debunker Thaddeus Bradley (Morgan Freeman) continues to be a pebble in the Horsemen’s shoe (magic debunker continues to be a unlikely career occupation, IMO).
Really. Who wants to be a magic debunker? Talk about pooping in the punch bowl.
Still, there are some great scenes. In particular, there’s a card throwing scene in which…well, I’ll just let you watch it. I enjoyed that part enough to be left with the feeling that the movie wasn’t a complete waste of time.
Maybe just 97% of a waste of my time.
Woody Harrelson was also pretty funny playing his character from the first film as well as that character’s obnoxiously evil twin brother. It’s the first time I have ever seen a movie in which Woody Harrelson made a conscious effort to become someone other than Woody Harrelson.
I also liked the exotic locations. Macau, China (the Vegas of China), London – lots of globe trotting. Made me want to do some traveling myself.
Among my many complaints, the top one has to be that they really should have come up with another villain/plot other than, “Damn it! Michael Caine’s up to no good again!”
If they do go with another sequel to make a trilogy, they have got to come up with another villain.
Do you need to rush out to the theater to see it?
No.
Is it worth a rental?
Yes.
But if there’s going to be a Now You See Me 3, they really need to up their game.
STATUS: Meh. Not shelf-worthy but not quite toilet worthy.
By: Special Guest Video Game Movie Reviewer Video Game Rack Fighter.
Ms. Fighter – Currently in Training to Defend Her Title in the Upcoming 2016 Car Thief Mayhem World Championship Competition
It’s here! It’s finally here!
The long awaited film based on an online multi-player game is here.
Did it suffer the “video game movies suck curse?”
Read on to find out but beware SPOILERS.
VGRF here with a review of Warcraft.
Movieclips Trailers – Warcraft
Warcraft. The online game in which humans can choose to be a variety of fantasy characters and fight for virtual power and gold has been around forever, or at least 1996.
That’s right millennials. Some of us were nerding it up before you were born and even before it became chic to declare yourself a nerd.
And now there’s a movie. It broke the box office in China, bringing in over $145 million this weekend just in that country. The Chinese love their Warcraft.
Kind of makes me wish I could go back in time and start my own video game company that allows people to pretend to be wizards, warriors, elves, orcs or what have you.
Speaking of orcs, let’s talk about the movie.
Orcs. Long considered the perpetually raging, possibly misunderstood buttholes of the fantasy realm, they’ve destroyed their world and rather than seek to mend their evil orcish ways, they cross through a porthole into the human realm of Azeroth and start conquering and pillaging and generally orcing shit up in true orc fashion.
Hmm. Maybe the Azerothians need to build a wall and make the Orcs pay for it?
Huh? Huh? Crickets. Hmm. Blame BQB. That joke was his idea.
Moving on. Naturally, the humans aren’t going to stand for all this orcish tomfoolery. From thereon, it’s difficult to figure out who’s who and what’s what because all the human dudes are basically a bunch of long haired hipster beardos who all look alike.
But, if you make an effort to get past that, you’ll see Dominic Cooper as the King Wrynn, Travis Fimmel as Commander Lothar, and Ben Foster as Medivh the Guardian.
I don’t want to give too much away, but suffice to say hi jinx ensue when one orc clan leader has second thoughts about all the evil orcishness and seeks to ally himself with the humans.
Paula Patton plays Garona, the half-human/half-orc and the only one who could possibly bring peace between humans and orcs.
Yeesh. So I assume her father was an orc and her mother was a human. Her poor, poor mother. She probably didn’t walk right for a year after that.
Crickets? Another joke suggestion from BQB. Unless you laughed. Then it was all mine.
Ultimately, I don’t think this movie suffers from the “all video game movies suck” curse.
An actual effort was made to develop characters, a plot, a storyline. I won’t spoil the ending but it is obvious that further sequels are in the works.
If you aren’t a nerd or you dislike the fantasy genre, you probably won’t enjoy it.
It is more in line with the traditional fantasy genre style. Nerds in robes – wizards, elves, dwarves, everyone geeking it up and expecting a nerd audience who knows what all this nerd shit means.
As I watched it, it dawned on me that George RR Martin was able to get a wide, diverse audience into his Song of Ice and Fire (aka Game of Thrones) series because he was able to take so many relatable human problems and insert them into a fantasy world.
But for Warcraft, you’re going to have to be a nerd to enjoy it.
Luckily for you, if you are reading this blog, you already are one.
Visually stunning. Worth to see it on the big screen.
Bookshelf Battle 