Tag Archives: nerds

Bookshelf Q. Battler and the Meaning of Life – An Introduction

FROM THE DESK OF BOOKSHELF Q. BATTLER

World Renowned Poindexter, Reviewer of Books, Movies and Cultural Happenings, Champion Yeti Fighter, Blogger-In-Chief of the Bookshelf Battle Blog

It’s finally here!

BQB and the Meaning of Life starts tomorrow!

BQB and the Meaning of Life starts tomorrow!

Tomorrow, my serial story, Bookshelf Q. Battler and the Meaning of Life begins.  I hope you’ll join me every day for a new bite sized hunk of prose designed to fit easily into your busy schedules.

(People who aren’t busy?  Feel free to read it twice!)

What is the meaning of life?

Read the story and find out.  In this post, I’d rather answer:

Why did I write this story?

From an early age, I wanted to be a writer.  Perhaps you’ve read my first novel, “Attack of the Killer Mutant Fish,” a valiant attempt for a ten year old.

Then I grew up, entered into the real world and decided a career as a writer was an unlikely outcome.  I wouldn’t consider “lottery winner” as a viable career option so why would I put untold amounts of time, money and effort into preparing a manuscript just so it could be filed in the traditional publishing world’s proverbial slush pile?

Let me put it this way.  If you want the “break into traditional publishing” experience, just pay a transient hobo fifty bucks to give you a kick in the nether regions.  You’ll spend less time, effort and money for a similar result.

DISCLAIMER:  The Bookshelf Battle Blog does not recommend you pay a transient hobo to kick you in the nether regions.

I settled into a humdrum lifestyle and though I’m blessed in many ways, I often wonder “what if?”

What if I had kept up with my dream of becoming a writer?  Would I have made it?  Would I have become a household name with my books on everyone’s shelves?

Flashforward to last year.  In March of 2014 I, Bookshelf Q. Battler was drowning my sorrows at Taco Bell (Mmmm…burritos) when it dawned on me:

Stop wishing you’d been a writer. You aren’t old. You aren’t dead. The technology exists. If you want to be a writer, then be a writer.

And with that, I became a writer again.

Now I just need some readers.

Perhaps you’ve heard I have 3.5 of them.  That’s a good start, but I’d like to make it 3.5 million.

Either way Aunt Gertie will be one of them.

I’ve always looked at platform building as a slow war of attrition, a numbers game that crawls at a turtle’s pace.

A couple of blog followers today.  A handful of twitter followers tomorrow.  A few drops in the bucket everyday will eventually lead to a nice full pail.

This summer, I’m going to attempt to fill a lake.

For the past few months, I’ve been working on two projects:

1)  Bookshelf Q. Battler and the Meaning of Life – it will begin tomorrow.

2)  Project X – Still not ready to give you the title, but rest assured of its awesomeness.

These serials will alternate.  It will be BQB for awhile, then Project X, then they will continue on a rotation all summer.

My goal is to leave you wanting more.

For a nerd with a busy lifestyle, it is hard to find time to cram this work in.  Much of it is done late at night, often leaving me exhausted and wondering if it’s worth it.

It’s my dream.  Of course it’s worth it.

Welcome to the Summer of Bookshelf, where I’ll hone my craft, entertain and inspire you, and ask that you give me your honest feedback about how I can improve.

Goals for the future?  This summer will lead to an expanded audience, I finish up a Fall/Winter’s worth of posts thus completing the “One Post a Day for a Year Challenge” and a fire in my belly gets stoked to the point where I’ll make an honest effort to enter the ebook market in 2016.

I’ve always been a results oriented kind of guy.  The more I see coming in, the more effort I’ll put out.

But why a story about a nerd with a magic bookshelf?

Because I am a nerd with a magic bookshelf.

Last year, it was hard coming up with a theme for a book blog.  There are so many of them.  I wanted to be unique.

It came to mind that maybe I’d be the nerd who’d pose his books next to his toy collection:

Master Chief - standing guard over Redshirts

Master Chief – standing guard over Redshirts

And from the outset, the theme was that “the books themselves” were fighting one another for limited shelf space:

Ye, addeth to the Great Scrolls of the Bookshelf Battle, that on March 12, 2014, the Bookshelf Battle did begin.

Since the invention of the printing press, books have been battling for spots on shelves all over the globe. With limited shelf space, available competition can be fierce. Recently, I remodeled my office and added a brand new bookcase. Now I must fill it with brand new books. Join me as I review the latest bestsellers of the day, with the occasional classic thrown in.

Which books will be deemed worthy of being on my shelf? Tune in every week to find out.

– First post on the Bookshelf Battle Blog in 2014

But as the one post a day challenge took over this year, the idea of anthropomorphic books fighting in a reckless manor seemed silly, whereas the concept that small characters could exit the books and go to war against each other over limited shelf space seemed much more reasonable.

Hey, it seems more reasonable to me, anyway.

Meanwhile, I went from being a random blogger to becoming Bookshelf Q. Battler, Owner of the Magic Bookshelf, Caretaker of a Bunch of Tiny and Unruly Book Characters, Proprietor of a Blog with 3.5 Readers, Lord of Bookshelf Battle Headquarters, Master of Bookshelf Q. Battle Dog, Sworn Enemy of The Yeti, and Colleague of Alien Jones.

In other words, the excitement in my life has grown exponentially over the past year, all thanks to this blog.

So to finally answer the question of “Why did I write this story?”

Over the past year, we’ve seen this blog morph from one geek’s hobby to a character based online world.

Did you ever watch Pee-Wee’s Playhouse as a kid?  You know, before Paul Reubens’ total disgrace?

(I mean, holy crap, I know that computers weren’t all that big back then but didn’t the guy own a VCR?)

Do you remember how Pee-Wee would waltz into his playhouse and talk to his viewers with the help of various characters?

That’s kind of how I see the Bookshelf Battle Blog – one nerdy character (i.e. Bookshelf Q. Battler) surrounded by other nerdy characters (Alien Jones and The Yeti), with the following exceptions:

1) This blog’s geared toward adult nerds who love books, TV, movies and popular culture.

2)  Oddly enough, it also has a second audience in the tweed wearing literary chin stroker community as I do often discuss the classics.

3)  It’s a bit more high-brow than Pee Wee, though I guess that’s not saying much.

4)  There’s none of…well, you know what Pee Wee did.  (Hey, why’s everyone leaving?  Weirdos).

This story will pull the blog together, entertain the 3.5 readers who’ve been following along so far, and eventually serve as an explanation to those who will wonder what this blog is all about tomorrow.

Tomorrow – that legendary day when I will have a whopping 11.7 readers.

As always, thanks for stopping by.

Good times are ahead.  Comment on the stories.  Tell me what you liked.  Tell me what you didn’t.  Ask questions.  Provide criticism.  I have a thick skin.  I live with a Yeti that hates me.

Come back tomorrow and join in the fun!

Sincerely,

Bookshelf Q. Battler

Copyright (c) Bookshelf Q. Battler 2015.  All Rights Reserved.

Nerd on top of the world image courtesy of a shutterstock.com license.

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Comic Book Girl 19’s Vids=Awesome

If you’re a nerd (and chances are if you’re here then you are) then you’ll totally enjoy ComicBookGirl19’s youtube channel.

She’s funny, she’s witty, her videos are well produced.  For Game of Thrones fans she has a bunch of videos where she gives you the scoop on the historical background of the various houses.  I know I felt a little lost watching the show until I found her videos and was able to learn the who’s who and what’s what of Westeros.

She also has fun characters that appear on her show like “Robot” and “Space Brain.”  I dunno.  Seems a little nerdy to me.  Dudes who claim to know aliens and yetis would be into that sort of thing I suppose.

Anyway, we’re all “indies” in one way or another just trying to get a foothold in this big wide world of Internet commentary, but I’d argue her videos provide a good standard for e-nerds to aspire to.

Here’s her movie review of Avengers: Age of Ultron

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Apple Watch

Is anyone going to get one?

If you there’s a phone in your hand that does everything a smart phone can do, why do I need a watch on my wrist that provides a smaller version of the smart phone?

Am I missing something?

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BREAKING NERD NEWS

Various news channels are reporting that Harrison Ford, the actor who played two icons of nerd culture, Han Solo and Indiana Jones, has been seriously injured after a plane crash.

I will continue to report or you can just turn on the television.  You know what?  Just turn on your television.  Seriously, nerds.  I can’t do everything for you.

May the force be with you, Han.  Whatever your hokey religion may be, let us all pray for our favorite scruffy looking nerf herder.

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Long Before Being Nerdy Was Cool…

Statement by the President on the Passing of Leonard Nimoy

Long before being nerdy was cool, there was Leonard Nimoy. Leonard was a lifelong lover of the arts and humanities, a supporter of the sciences, generous with his talent and his time. And of course, Leonard was Spock. Cool, logical, big-eared and level-headed, the center of Star Trek’s optimistic, inclusive vision of humanity’s future.

I loved Spock.

In 2007, I had the chance to meet Leonard in person. It was only logical to greet him with the Vulcan salute, the universal sign for “Live long and prosper.” And after 83 years on this planet – and on his visits to many others – it’s clear Leonard Nimoy did just that. Michelle and I join his family, friends, and countless fans who miss him so dearly today.

I just want to point out one part:

“Long before being nerdy was cool…”

We are now in a time when being nerdy is cool.  Do you remember a time when it wasn’t?  I do.  It wasn’t fun.  Kind of bittersweet, isn’t it?

The White House has official stated nerdy=cool and recognized Nimoy as a pioneer of nerdyness.  We live in good times.

Well, ok, aside from all of the other atrocities you hear about on TV everyday…but beside those, we live in good times when it comes to being a nerd.

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Let’s Talk Sci-Fi – What’s the Difference Between an Android and a Robot?

Gonna go out on a limb here and guess this is a robot.

Gonna go out on a limb here and guess this is a robot.

Geeks, dweebs, nerds, and poindexters of the world, assemble, for I have a doozy of a question for you.

What is the difference between an Android and a Robot?

As we’ve previously discussed, I’m working on a science fiction novel, and seeking the advice of nerds everywhere for help.  Don’t be offended by being called a nerd.  It’s a badge of honor, really.  Frankly, who wants advice about robotics from a non-nerd?

This is total nerd stuff, baby.

I find that in the science fiction world, the words “android” and “robot” are often used interchangeably.  But should that be the case?

The best advice I’ve found thus far:

“A robot can, but does not necessarily have to be in the form of a human, but an android is always in the form of a human.”

– Edmond Woychowsky, TechRepublic – “The Difference Between Robots and Androids, 2010

Click here for Woychowsky’s Full Article

Well, wait a minute.  That sounds simple enough at first, but what about C3P0?  He and his buddy RD2D are invariably referred to as “droids” in the Star Wars universe.  Haven’t you heard the infamous line from Obi-Wan Kenobi, “These aren’t the droids you’re looking for?”

C3P0 has a torso, arms, legs, a face with eyes, he is definitely modeled after a human, but he’s also built out of a golden colored metal, his arms and legs only move so much, his eyes are pretty much just sockets, and there’s just a slit where his mouth should be.

That’s not exactly a human, is it?  What did Edmond have to say?

“It can be argued that an android should be able to pass as a human in natural light. So, if you subscribe to this belief, C-3PO from Star Wars and R. Giskard Reventlov from Isaac Asimov’s The Robots of Dawn are robots, not androids.”

Seriously?  So George Lucas got something wrong?  In addition to Jar Jar???

So, if you take this android vs. robot information seriously, then C3P0 is a robot.  The robots from the film I, Robot, starring Will Smith, are robots (that’s a given, since they didn’t call it, I, Android).

Rosie, the Jetson family’s maid, is a robot.  C3P0, Rosie, and the I, Robot bots, all might have human-inspired designs, but if you were to see them, you would say, “Hey, that’s a robot!”

Apparently, the question of whether an “artificial being” is a robot or an android boils down to whether or not you can tell when you first meet said being.  As Woychowsky notes, Data from Star Trek: Next Generation, does appear to be a human, “albeit with an odd complexion.”

As an additional example, I would submit that Ash from the original Alien movie is an android.  He was so passable as a human that this is actually a major plot point of the film – he was passing as a crew member but in secret, was an android with a special mission.  For part of the film, the audience doesn’t even know he’s not a human.

So what say you, readers?  I need your nerdy opinions, because the novel I am working on, and sadly, procrastinating on, might feature robots, or it might feature androids, but I want to make sure I’m using the right terminology so that my nerd credentials are not questioned.

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Gone Girl – A Review of the Movie, Not the Book

Long time no see, blogarinos.  What can I say?  I have been busy.  I wish I could say that I have been busy with something worthwhile, but alas, it has been mostly with an onslaught of fabulous Fall TV.  Why, oh why must they put all my favorite shows on at the same time?

I’ve been hearing for quite some time now that Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn is an amazing read, and though sadly I never got around to it, I am pleased to say that I did recently take in the film version starring Ben Affleck and Rosamund Pike.

SPOILER WARNING – If you do not want the surprises to be as gone as the girl, then stop reading.

In no particular order, a list of reasons why I found this film entertaining:

1)  Rosamund Pike deserves an Oscar nomination.  She has always been a decent actress but up until now, has never quite found her niche role.  Honestly, this movie made me learn her name.  Previously, she’d just been that blonde woman who has been in a lot of stuff.

2)  Someone involved in the movie must have had a penchant for all grown up former adolescent nerd TV stars.  Patrick Fugit, aka the aspiring Rolling Stone reporter from Almost Famous and Lee Norris, aka Minkus on Boy Meets World both have cameos as police officers.  I mean honestly, in real life, I would not want either of these poindexters kicking down doors and/or being responsible for public safety but for movie purposes, it was fun to see them in action.

3)  Actually, add to that former nerd TV star list Neil Patrick Harris (who once upon a time played Doogie Howser, M.D.) – I suppose I gave him a pass as a “former TV nerd” since his career had a comeback with How I Met Your Mother.

4)  It is an excellent mystery movie that will keep you guessing.

5)  Sadly, it reinforces what we all know to be true but no one wants to admit – a woman can say anything – anything at all – and people will believe it.

So pick your future brides to be carefully, fellas, because well, you might end up like Ben Affleck’s defeated protagonist.

BONUS:  Tyler Perry was in this movie and a) he did not dress up like an outrageous overweight granny and b) did not suck.

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