Tag Archives: seth rogen

Movie Review – Sausage Party (2016)

“Once you see that shit, it will f%$k you up for life.”

So said the talking twinkie and I gotta be honest, he wasn’t kidding.

If you see this movie, it might very well f%*k you up for life.

But then again, if you saw the trailer and went anyway, you were probably f%&ked up to begin with.

That doesn’t say much about me since I saw the trailer and went to it anyway.

SPOILER ALERT – I can’t really discuss it without spoiling it so, if you’re worried about that, read no further.

BQB here with a review of Seth Rogen’s R rated animated film, Sausage Party.

I’m just gonna throw it out there.

Seth was no doubt smoking some very potent cannabis when he wrote this shit.

I’m an hour out of seeing it myself and I still haven’t quite wrapped my head around it, but let me try.

OK.  So every Pixar animated movie is basically about something or someone that doesn’t usually talk right?

Talking toys in Toy Story. Talking fish in Finding Nemo. Heck, forget Pixar. Pretty much every cartoon features either an inanimate object or an animal that can talk and these films usually revolve around, “Gee whiz, kids, what do these toys, fish, other things that don’t normally talk do when we aren’t paying attention to them?”

So Seth turned that concept into one great big joke by asking, “What if food products talk to each other when we aren’t watching?”

Yup. Like I said. He’s been hitting the hard stuff.

In this time of reboots, sequels, prequels, and sequels to prequels of rebooted reboots, I have to hand it to Seth – this movie was original.

It put a lot of stuff on the screen that my eyes, ears, sensory receptors and brain aren’t used to processing – namely, quality rendered animated characters doing and saying horrible, terrible, disgusting things to each other.

Highlights:

  • Food products screaming in terror as they get sliced, diced and chomped.
  • Aforementioned food products staging a revolt and murdering humans in gruesome detail.  (Seeing a severed human head in an animated movie is definitely original, but uh…not really sure that was something that I wanted to see.  The twinkie was right. I’m effed up for life now.)
  • Zombie corn kernels trapped in poop.  Took me a second to get it but it does make scientific sense if you think about it.
  • `Food products act in stereotypical ways based on their country of origin.  Salma Hayek voices a horny taco.  David Krumholtz voices a Middle Eastern lavash (sort of like a soft taco-esque wrap) and Ed Norton voices a Jewish bagel (Sammy Bagel Jr.)  The lavash and bagel trade barbs throughout the film until they become way, way, way too friendly in the end, and boy do I mean the end. Uhh…I mean I’m not very PC but as I watched it I thought, “Wow, the social justice warriors are going to be all over this shit on Twitter.”
  • The crux of the film is that Frank the Sausage (Seth Rogen) wants to make sweet love to and live happily ever with Brenda Bunson (Kristen Wiig) a hot dog bun that bears a striking resemblance to a cooter.
  • The plot ties heavily into religion, namely, are the food products better off thinking that the humans are taking them out of the grocery store to live nice happy lives?  Would they just go nuts and be unhappy if they knew the truth that they were destined to be eaten? (And thanks Seth, on top of having to watch fornicating produce I really needed a reminder that my hope that there’s life after death is scientifically unsound and that in all likelihood I will end up just as disappointed as those poor, poor food products who ended up gnashed between a pair of giant teeth.)
  • A druggie injects himself with bath salts and is able to communicate with the food.  Gotta say, aside from the severed head, a dude dropping a spike in his vein is another subject I never thought that would ever be tackled by a cartoon so uh…I guess Seth broke new ground there but uh…I’m not sure that’s ground that should have been broken?  (Kids, please don’t try that at home…or anyone else…to quote South Park’s Mr. Mackey, “Drugs are bad, mmm’kay?”)
  • Nick Kroll lends his voice to a douche that, naturally, acts like a douche.  IMO, the douchey douche was one of the funnier parts of the movie.
  • And finally, the orgy.  The terrible, horrible, monstrous orgy.  Food products having hardcore sex with each other to celebrate their victory over the humans.  I…I don’t even know what to say.  I get they were animated food products and all but it was still so graphic that it left me wondering how this movie didn’t get an NC-17 rating slapped on it.

Hmm…so, I’m not a prude.  There were a few times where I did outright laugh but for the most part, the film’s appeal is similar to that of a gruesome car accident.  You don’t really WANT to see any of it and you know not looking away makes you a bad person but you can’t help but look…and stare…and gawk….and repeatedly ask yourself, “Am I really seeing what I think I’m seeing?!”

Ironically, animation has been around for so long now that I think if done right, there probably is a niche market for cartoon movies that appeal to adults (not as in the characters have to hump and drop F-bombs every five seconds just for the freak out factor) but because there may be things that can be done through animation that real life actors can’t do.

STATUS: I don’t want to call it shelf-worthy or non-shelf-worthy.  Rather, if you’re easily offended, stay away.  If you’re a rubbernecker who can’t help but stare at an ungodly traffic accident, then this film is for you.

About an hour into the film, I found myself thinking, “OK Seth. I get the joke. You’re going to make cartoon food products do terrible things because you can.”

I came.  I saw.  I was already f&*ked up.

We all aspire to be the first one to do something.  Seth, as far as I know, is the first film maker to document food products vigorously humping each other on screen, so no one can take that dubious honor away from him I suppose.

You know 3.5 readers, all I know is that around the turn of the millennium, I was in college and a bunch of my buddies and I went to see South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut.  We were in hysterics of Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s raunchy brand of comedy.

Those two broke many taboos and did the world suffer for it?

Yes.  Yes it did. The world totally sucks now.  Thanks a lot, Trey and Matt.

But at least Sausage Party couldn’t make the world any worse than it already is now, right?

I’m sure the current generation of immature college students are guffawing all over the sight of hot food on food action.

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Movie Review – Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising (2016)

Pbbbbbhhhhhhhhtttt.

Is that the correct way to type a raspberry?

BQB here with a review of this stink fest.

Where to start?

So much suck. So little time.

The film revisits Mac and Kelly (Seth Rogen and Rose Byrne) the couple terrorized by the rowdy frat led by Teddy (Zac Efron) that set up shop next door to their home in the first film.

It’s not that the first Neighbors movie had much in the way of redeeming quality either, but at least it relied on a bevy of gross out stunts that made you cringe until you gave up the laughs.

This one’s just sort of “meh.”

Mac and Kelly have tentatively sold their home and the buyers have thirty days to go through or nix the deal.

And…uh oh…Shelby (Chloe Grace Moretz) and friends start their own rowdy sorority house in the house next door to Mac and Kelly, renting out the house once occupied by Teddy’s frat.

The film redeems itself a bit by pointing out the perils of being a female college student. On campus sororities aren’t allowed to throw parties (the movie informs you’ll find out it is true if you Google it) so their only chance to party is to visit a frat, and frat parties tend to be, well, all about demeaning women.

Shelby and Co. can’t party on campus, can’t have too much fun in their dorm without their RA throwing a fit, so their own off-campus house is their last ditch effort.

Other than that, the whole plot is either stupid or non-existent, take your pick.  The adult couple conspires to kick the girls out. The girls conspire to get their revenge against the adults.

There are some scenes where you’re left if any thought was put into them.

At one point, and in case you care I’ll say SPOILER ALERT, the girls tinker with Mac and Kelly’s cell phones and in so doing, send them messages to convince the other has left them.

Mac and Kelly flip out and go on a rampage to find one another but uh, for some odd reason, neither looks through the house they both live in where they both are when they get the messages first.

Mac is fooled into going all the way to Australia to look for Kelly where we see Seth Rogen in what is clearly a bad green screen shot of himself outside the Sydney Opera House.

Kinda makes you wonder why the studio couldn’t have just sprung to send Rogen on a trip to the Sydney Opera House.

Teddy is crowbarred in – he helps the sorority, he helps the adults – he’s more or less there just to remind you that Neighbors One existed.

Eh…I mean you could tell me that I’m just an old bastard and thus the movie just wasn’t my cup of tea but I don’t know. I did laugh a lot at the first one and that’s why I was willing to give this one a try.

I love movies. I watch a lot of them. Rare is the occasion when I go to a movie and end up looking at the time and debating whether to just walk out or to stay through the end and continue to waste time.

This one did that for me.

The concept itself isn’t that bad.  Differing perspectives on life and all. The kids just want to have fun.  The adults never really stopped wanting to have fun but they have responsibilities and jobs to tend to and can’t be bothered to deal with crazy parties all the time.

But overall, it stunk.  Big time stink fest.

The sad part is there are many good actors and actresses in the film. You’re just left wondering why with so much talent involved, no one ever stopped to ask if this flick wasn’t a waste of their time.

 

STATUS: Not shelf-worthy.

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Sausage Party -NSFW Trailer

Hey 3.5 readers.

Have you seen the trailer for Sausage Party yet?

So here’s the setup.  Seth Rogen and James Franco (the comedy duo behind Pineapple Express and also that movie that almost led to a war with North Korea) have made a cartoon.

For the first thirty seconds of the trailer, you almost think it is another Pixar style cartoon.  What’s every Pixar movie about?  Talking toys.  Talking cars.  Talking bugs.  Talking planes.  Talking fish.  Always about something that doesn’t talk only now it is talking.

This one is about food.  Yes.  All this time you never knew that food products can talk.  They sit on the store shelves, waiting for you to pick them up with the hope that you’re going to do something great with them and….

…yup…the food products engage in all kinds of obscenity once they learn what people actually do with food.

Here’s the Sony Red Band Trailer.  If you don’t want to be offended you probably shouldn’t watch:

I’ve been hearing these guys talk about this project on different talk shows for awhile now.

It sounds like a funny concept to me but I’m a male with a warped sense of humor so I’m basically their target demographic.

I give them credit for actually getting the studio to put up the money needed for Pixar quality rendering…or for getting a studio for doing something completely outside of the box for that matter.

PREDICTIONS:

  1.  People will be divided on whether it is hysterical or garbage.  There will be very little in between.
  2. There will be adults who would have thought it was funny but won’t go because they’ll think it is a kids’ movie based on a quick look at the poster.
  3. Also based only on a quick look at the poster, there will be many clueless parents who will be like, “Hey this looks like a good movie to take the kids to!” only to be horrified.

Anyway, I will have to check this out and write a review for my 3.5 readers when it comes out.

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Movie Review – The Interview (2014)

Bookshelf Battler, here with another movie review.  So many movie reviews lately I should probably rename this site “Movie Shelf Battle” except that would not make sense, since movies aren’t put on shelves anymore.

But I digress.

So after all the hoopla, after the big hacking scandal, after the international hullabaloo, I finally had the chance to watch The Interview starring Seth Rogen and James Franco.

How do I say this?  I think the hackers might have accidentally done the boys a big favor.

I don’t mean they did them a favor in getting the movie pulled from – well, I’ve lost track, first it was every theater, then it was some theaters.  How did you see it?  I paid to rent it and Rogen and Franco now have 6 bucks I’ll never get back.  Lousy Hollywood types.

My thoughts?  Overall, the film is so-so and ultimately, kind of forgettable.  All of the free publicity caused by the hacking scandal will probably get this movie more views and downloads than it ever would have on its own, from people who will tune in just to see what all the fuss is about.

I love comedy.  Comedy is the most honest form of entertainment there is.  With drama, you can say you like it, that you even get it, but secretly you didn’t like it.  You’re just saying you like it to fit in and be cool.  But comedy?  If something tickles your funny bone, you will involuntarily laugh.  You might try to hold back, but if something is funny enough, you would be able to hold back.  And to its credit, The Interview did have a few moments where it did make me do just that.

But in my opinion, Hollywood has been on kind of a losing streak when it comes to comedy, and I mean laugh out loud, slap your knees all the way through the film comedy.  I haven’t seen a comedy that made me laugh from beginning to end since the original The Hangover in 2009.  So that’s, what?  Five, coming on six years since Hollywood has provided me with a genuine laugh all the way through the movie knee-slapper.

Do you mind if I give you SPOILERS?  Hell, the spoilers are pretty much out there already, aren’t they?

So, basic premise of the movie – Franco is Dave Skylark and Rogen is Aaron Rappaort.  Together, they are a duo that hosts and produces a celebrity gossip interview show – Skylark Tonight.  Rappaport feels the need to engage in more serious journalism.  The duo learn that Kim Jong Un is a fan of the show, so they arrange for, dun dun dun – an Interview.

The CIA learns of this and convinces the pair to try and assassinate Kim Jong Un, and I actually thought the film, rather than provide a caricature, actually provided an actor that is a bit tougher looking than the Dear Leader, but that’s just my two cents.

The funnier parts of the movie come from Rogen and Franco training on how to use a special Ricin poison strip on their hand, which they plan to deploy to Un with a poisoned handshake.  Naturally, the bumblers put the Ricin everywhere but Un’s hand.

At the end of the movie, Skylark and Rappaport, aided by North Korea’s turncoat propaganda minister, who secretly wants a free NK, decide not to kill Un but instead, to ambush him on air with hard hitting questions that will humiliate him and public and convince the North Koreans to reject him.

Skylark rattles off a lot of important questions about concentration camps, how the country spent 800 million on nukes when it has 16 million people starving, and so on.  Arguably, the film actually does provide a lot of important info to the American people, things a lot of inattentive Americans never thought about, namely that North Korea is a nuclear nation capable of launching a nuclear attack on the West Coast.  Yeah…yeah…sorry if you’re on the West Coast and you just read that, but try to get some sleep tonight anyway.  Probably not gonna happen.  Let’s keep our fingers crossed.

So toward the end of the movie, I think, “Wow, Rogen and Franco, how smart – they’ve used the assassination plot story line as just a pretext to reach an actual interview in which a lot of important political questions are asked, and important info is provided in a funny way.  But then, of course, they go ahead and have a final confrontation scene where Franco and Rogen, in a tank, go head to head with Un, in a helicopter, in a final battle royale to the finish.  So much for closing out the movie with a little dignity.

Like I said, it is not without its funny moments, moments that will make you laugh, but I doubt it will join the ranks of films I will ever bother watching again, so I think had the hackers just left this one alone, it probably would have easily faded into obscurity on its own.  Now with all the hype – I mean, Hell, my Grandkids one day will probably come up to me and be all like, “Hey Grandpa, what was that movie by those two doofuses that almost started World War III?”

I’m glad Sony did distribute the film, because to allow bullies to tell us what we can and can’t watch is just plain wrong – but sheesh, this was kind of a stinker of a film to get into such a major international argument about.

On a final note – this was a major event in direct to download movie distribution.  That topic was discussed earlier this year with the announcement that Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon 2 would be released directly to Netflix.  Personally, I’m against direct to download first time movie releases, and I hope that all three of my regular readers, including my Aunt Gertrude, will feel the same way.

Why?  Go ahead ask me why.

Because I feel like that would just totally destroy the movie theater industry.  And sure, you might think back to the time you got ripped off at the theaters and had to spend a ridiculous sum on candy and popcorn but honestly – let me repeat, honestly – do you really want to see a day where going out to the movies on a Friday night becomes a thing of the past?  I certainly don’t.

Thanks for reading, Happy New Year!

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Thank You! (Christmas Call to Action)

Hey Bookshelf Battlers,

Just a quick thank you to fellow book lovers out there for the help provided to me in just 24 hours.  Last night I was around 1900, maybe a little over, twitter followers.  After a push for 2000, I’m at 2035 as of tonight.  That wasn’t meant to be pushy.  It was meant to find more people to spread the joy of the written word to!  So thank you everyone, you’re all very cool.

Folks, I love the technologically advanced time we’re living in – a time where we’ve become the gatekeepers, a time where if you have something to say, your ability to say it does not depend on who you know.  You can just log on, blog on, and say it.  To ruin that sentiment with an Austin Powers quote, this is all “very groovy baby, yeah!”

This hopefully the beginning and the best is yet to come.  I don’t mean to brag, gloat, or show a lack of humility, because honestly, humble is my middle name.  I should just change the blog to “Bookshelf Humble Battle.”  I suppose what I’m trying to say is, if a) you all stick with me and tell your peeps to join the ride and b) I can kick my own butt to get into gear, then I think within a year to a year-and-a-half I’ll have produced some awesome reading material.  Blogging and Self-Publishing=the way of the future.

Well, heck, now that I wrote that, I have to do it, lest egg be on my face in a year to a year and a half. Someone call me out on the carpet if by mid-2016 I haven’t published something awesome please.  Thank you.

Finally, I try not to get too political on this blog because, well, come on, whoever we are, however we vote, can’t we all hold hands and come together in the spirit of promoting fantastic books?  But I have to say the whole debacle with The Interview irked me.  The idea that some tin pot dictator thinks he can tell our Hollywood Executives that they are not allowed to air their crappy movie is outrageous!  This is America!  Land of the Free and Home of the Brave Baby, where our Hollywood Executives have a god given right to produce their own crappy movies and distribute them on their own terms!

So that being said, if you have nothing better to do (and who are you kidding, you know you don’t because you’re reading this ) then do your patriotic duty and log on to You Tube to watch The Interview!  

ROGEN/FRANCO 2016!!!

In conclusion, apologies for all this philosophical babbling folks.  Bottomline:  You keep reading.  I’ll keep writing.

Merry Christmas.  Happy Holidays.  Happy Hanukah.  Happy Kwanza.  Happy Whatever Holidays I Missed, and If You’re an Atheist, Have a Top Notch Thursday!

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