Tag Archives: skydiving

BQB on Freebooksy

Hey 3.5 readers.

Your old pal, BQB here.

I bought a Freebooksy promotion, which ran yesterday, and wanted to tell you all about it, seeing as how it was a good experience.

It was for Freefall, my short story about a man who goes on a skydiving trip, only to jump out of the plane and find that his parachute has been sabotaged:

In the past, I have had moderate success with Facebook ads. Sometimes they would translate to 10 or 20 free copies. At times, I have given away approximately 100. That was the highest and I thought that was something.

Yesterday, thanks to Freebooksy, I gave away a mind boggling 1,337 copies in one day!!! Ergo, I am sold on their services. When you buy a promotion, you can plan it for a specific day. They will list your book as free on their website for the day and will send it in their email to their subscribers for that day.

Makes sense, right? If you use Facebook ads, you might reach a lot of people, but out of those, maybe a handful will actually click on the link, and an even smaller amount will actually bother to get a free copy.

Meanwhile, Freebooksy subscribers are serious readers with a passion for the written word. They have signed up for these emails so they can be notified when it is time to snatch up free books. Thus, unless something changes, I foresee myself focusing on Freebooksy in the future as my go to site for advertising when one of my books is free.

Of course, we want to transition to the point where we actually get paid. Rarely happens to me, but I am still relatively new to self-publishing. Part of the problem is you have to collect the so-called “social proof” i.e. you have to rack up positive reviews. I did receive one positive review yesterday thanks to Freebooksy. I thought maybe I’d receive more but one thing I have noticed is sometimes people will get a free copy and then they’ll come back a week, or two or a month later and buy a book or leave a review or a rating. It takes time for people to read your book. They grab your book when it is free but then it might sit on their virtual shelf for awhile before they find time to read it.

I did notice a number of people on Goodreads listed it as a book they have or have read or want to read, etc.

Overall, a positive experience so far. As of this morning, the free copies have tapered off to 48 for today as of the time of this post, but that’s still a lot more in one day that I am used to.

Oh! Freefall also ended up being ranked #2 in 90 minute Literature and Short Fiction reads, #2 in Single Author Short Stories and #2 in 90 Minute Mystery, Thriller and Suspense Short Reads. It is now #131 in the Free Kindle store.

That last one? I have to assume if you can make it into the Top 100 Free, you’d get a lot of free book grabs, so if you 3.5 readers want to grab your free copy and put me over the top, I would appreciate it.

Seriously, what else were you going to do today? Cut your toenails? Wash your hair? Mow your lawn? You can take less than one minute to grab a free copy and be able to go to bed tonight secure in the knowledge that you actually achieved something awesome, i.e. you helped Bookshelf Q Battler inch his way toward the Top 100 Free on Amazon.

Thanks for listening, 3.5 readers. Oh and if you are a self-publisher and were wondering about the cost, it cost me $90 and I consider it $90 well spent. You can go to Freebooksy.com and see the prices for various genres, some of which are lower. It’s a good deal. If you want to do it for one of your books, I’d recommend going to their site to make sure the day you want isn’t already sold out, and then pick a day and set your book to be free on that day and voila, free books.

Will you have similar results? Eh, I can’t say for sure. I mean, look at that cover. It is pretty awesome. And the story is pretty great too, if I do say so myself. You still need to bring your A game to your writing and book production but I would assume you’ll still see an uptick in free copies.

Thank you, Freebooksy.

One more note – Freebooksy also offers Bargainbooksy, where if your book is priced low enough (I forget how low it has to be) then you can also buy a promotion on that. I haven’t tried that yet. I generally find it is like pulling teeth to get people to actually buy books, though I heard a rumor it does happen if you keep putting the time and effort in. Maybe I’ll try that someday. If you have tried Bargainbooksy and want to share your experience, please do so in the comments.

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GET A FREE BOOK – FOR FREE!

I’m Crazy BQB and my prices are insane! My book “Freefall” is priced to move!

ZERO percent interest! ZERO percent APR! ZERO money down! Just click the link below and GRAB YOUR FREE COPY TODAY! BAH HA HA!

Yes, my price on this book is so low that if it were a limbo stick, a rattle snake wouldn’t be able to limbo under it, that’s how incredibly low my price is! My price is so insane I’d better confirm my reservation at the funny farm! BAH HA HA!

But seriously, 3.5 readers. This is a good, short story about a man who goes skydiving only to find out his parachute has been sabotaged. He’s only left with a few minutes to figure out how to save himself and whodunnit.

So, if you could grab a FREE copy, I’d appreciate it. If you want to read it too, that’s even better and if you want to read it AND leave a review, that’s even more better, better-er? Whatever. Get a FREE COPY FOR FREE BECAUSE IT IS FREE!

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GET A FREE BOOK – FOR FREE!!!

FREE is better than paying, 3.5 readers.

No, really. It’s fine. I didn’t want to get paid. Making money is for losers. I just want to put a smile on your face with a free book.

So go on. Grab a copy of my new book, Freefall (A FREE BOOK WITH FREE IN THE TITLE) for FREE!

That’s right. It is FREE for the next 5 days.

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Buy My New Book – Freefall

Hey 3.5 readers.

Seriously, isn’t that a great cover?

The latest installment of BQB’s Twisted Shorts is now available on Amazon.

The blurb:

When amateur skydiver Larry Rutledge takes his first jump out of a perfectly good airplane only to find his primary and backup ripcords have been sabotaged, he’ll have five minutes and 13,500 feet to figure out how to save his life…if he can. If there’s any time leftover, will he be able to solve the mystery and identify the parachute saboteur? Will it even matter if he doesn’t survive?

A tale of money, an illicit affair, thrills and suspense awaits you in this, the fifth installment of BQB’s Twisted Shorts. Do you like “The Twilight Zone?” Do you like “The Outer Limits?” Do you like “Black Mirror?” Well, BQB doesn’t have the budget to make shows as awesome as those, but his self-published journey toward creating an episodic anthology has begun.

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Freefall Cover

Hey 3.5 readers.

My next installment of BQB’s Twisted Shorts is about an average schmuck who goes skydiving for the first time, only to find his primary and backup cords aren’t working.

With 5 minutes before he hits the pavement, he needs to figure out how to save himself, if he can. Also, foul play is suspected, so will he be able to figure out who sabotaged his parachute and why?

Here it is. The cover for BQB’s Twisted Shorts – Volume 1 – Issue 5 – Freefall.

I think this is the best of the 5 covers. The other 5 were great but this, wow, I mean, if you’re browsing through a bookshelf and see this cover, you want to open it up and find out what happens to this guy, don’t you?

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BQB and the Meaning of Life – Part 25 – Lloyd Bunson

PREVIOUSLY ON BOOKSHELF Q. BATTLER AND THE MEANING OF LIFE…

READ

AND NOW BOOKSHELF Q. BATTLER AND THE MEANING OF LIFE CONTINUES…

Sally’s web search resulted in a video of an old man in a tweed coat standing in his garage next to an ejector seat just like the one Vicky and I were plummeting to our imminent demises in.

Breakout Social Media Celebrity Lloyd Bunson, Host of "Lloyd Bunson's Happy Fun Time Ejector Seat Channel."

Breakout Social Media Celebrity Lloyd Bunson, Host of “Lloyd Bunson’s Happy Fun Time Ejector Seat Channel.”

“Hello,” the old man said. “My name is Lloyd Bunson and welcome to Lloyd Bunson’s Happy Fun Time Ejector Seat Channel.”

“Wow,” Vicky said. “They have a You tube Channel for everything!”

“Over the next ninety minutes, I’m going to show you how to properly care for, maintain, weatherize, clean, and store your ejector seat,” Lloyd said. “Proper maintenance is the only way to ensure that your ejector seat will provide you with many years worth of flinging yourself out of perfectly good airplanes.”

“JUST GET TO THE PART ABOUT THE PARACHUTE OLD MAN!” I screamed.

“I’m sure you all have so many questions…”

“I can’t believe this has ten million hits,” Vicky said.

A flock of birds buzzed over our heads.

“And the big one I get all the time is, ‘Lloyd, how the heck do I deploy the parachute on my ejector seat?’”

“YES!” I shouted. “TELL US HOW LLOYD!”

“Simple,” Lloyd said. “First, reach your hand approximately one foot underneath the center of the seat like so…”

I copied what Lloyd was doing.

Vicky closed her eyes and began mumbling a prayer.

“…once you’re under there, you’ll want to feel around for a string.”

“Got it, Lloyd!” I said. “Now what? For Christ’s Sake, hurry up, man!”

“Go ahead and give that string a good old yank…”

I yanked the string. Nothing happened.

“Are you screwing with me, Lloyd?!!!”

“After you’ve yanked the string,” Lloyd explained. “Look to your left and you’ll find that by pulling the string, you’ve opened up a compartment containing a green button and a red button….”

“Push the green button,” I said, moving my finger over it.

“Whatever you do, DO NOT push the green button,” Lloyd said. “Push the red button.”

“Seriously?” I asked.

“Seriously,” Lloyd said. “Fun story, the engineer who designed these contraptions was totally color blind.  So go ahead and hit that red button.”

I hit the red button. Nothing.

“You suck Lloyd!”

“Now you’ll find that on the right side of the seat, a blue lever has popped out,” Lloyd said.

Vicky looked at the side of her end of the seat.

“A blue lever!”

“Be sure to yank the lever up,” Lloyd said. “Because if you push it down, your seat will break apart and you will all surely die.”

“Why would they even build a feature like that into an ejector seat?” I asked.

“That’s what you get for buying a World War II surplus ejector seat that was built by Nazis,” Lloyd said.

Vicky yanked the lever up. A bright red parachute exploded out of the back of the seat. We immediately slowed down and breathed a sigh of relief.

“Damn Nazis!” I said.

“Now then,” Lloyd said. “Let’s talk about how to properly wax your ejector seat…”

Half of you looked up to see if there actually is a “Lloyd Bunson Happy Fun Time Ejector Seat Channel” didn’t you?  Admit it.

BQB and the Meaning of Life is ejecting for now, but the story will continue after an all new episode of Pop Culture Mysteries!

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BQB and the Meaning of Life – Part 24 – Sally

PREVIOUSLY ON BOOKSHELF Q. BATTLER AND THE MEANING OF LIFE…

READ

AND NOW BOOKSHELF Q. BATTLER AND THE MEANING OF LIFE CONTINUES…

“ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHH!”

Vicky and I screamed and screamed as we sat in Happly’s ejector seat, watching the island below grow closer and closer.

“SEE WHAT I MEAN ABOUT TRUSTING PEOPLE?!!” I yelled.

I hate it when I ask my phone about parachutes and it returns a search on panda food.

I hate it when I ask my phone about parachutes and it returns a search on panda food.

Vicky fumbled her hands all over the seat in a desperate search for something, anything that could be used to save the day.

“HOW DO WE GET THE PARACHUTE TO OPEN?!” Vicky asked.

“I DON’T KNOW!”

“WELL,” Vicky yelled back at me. “STOP COMPLAINING AND DO SOMETHING ALREADY!”

I whipped out my generic off brand cell phone. This was a job for Sally, my automated personal assistant.

“Sally!”  I shouted.

My phone beeped.

“Hello Eduardo,” Sally replied in her pleasant monotone robot voice.

“How do you open up the parachute on an ejector seat?” I asked.

“I’m afraid I do not understand Eduardo…”

“EJECTOR SEAT!” I shouted. “HOW DO YOU OPEN THE PARACHUTE?!”

“I have found three restaurants that serve bamboo chutes,” Sally said. “Do you want their addresses?”

“NO!” I yelled. “TELL ME HOW TO OPEN THE PARACHUTE ON AN EJECTOR SEAT!”

Vicky kept searching.

“Eduardo,” Sally said. “I do not understand, ‘Tell me how to open the parachute on an ejector seat!’ Would you like me to perform a web search on it?”

“YES!!!!!”

“I do not understand when the next installment of BQB and the Meaning of Life will be?  Would you like me to perform a web search of tomorrow?

Copyright (c) Bookshelf Q. Battler.  All Rights Reserved.

Cell phone image courtesy of a shutterstock.com license.

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