Daily Archives: February 29, 2016

How the West Was Zombed – The Point of No Return

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Now comes the tough part.

I don’t want to say I’m “depressed” but maybe just a little.

I’ve written more of this novel than any other novel.  Every novel consists of 1) the beginning 2) the middle and 3) the end.

Usually, I know the beginning and end but it is the middle that is tricky.

But I have finished the beginning.  Don’t get tripped up by “54 Chapters” and “5 Parts.” In total, I’m only at about 35,000 words of what will probably end up as a 100,000 word novel.  100,000 is pretty average length.  People just number their chapters differently.  I start a new chapter with every new scene.  I like to leave a little question or tease or something at the end so you keep reading.

Decisions must be made now.  What will happen to our heroes?  How will our villain respond?

Sometimes there is so much possibility I get bogged down and can’t decide.  And I need to take out a little bit to map out the possibilities.  If one character does this, what happens when another character does that and so on.

Times like these are when I pull an Eminem and ask myself if it is time to stop living up here and start living down here.  Oh sorry.  You didn’t see my hand.  It was up high then down low to signify perhaps I should stop living with my head in the clouds.

I have to get this done now.  There’s a part of me that wants to get it done by April.  There’s 3 four month units to a year.  Four months on Zombed.  Four months this summer on a sequel.  Four months this fall on another.  Three in total by the end of the year.  Maybe that’s too ambitious.

In the meantime life calls.  There are times when it is hard to justify spending time on a zombie novel.  But then I check the stats.  3.5 of you are reading so that’s motivation to keep writing so thank you.

Thanks for listening to me complain, 3.5 readers.

Tune in tomorrow for a special guest columnist.  His presence has been sorely missed this year.

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#31ZombieAuthors – Day 27 Interview – Happy Birthday Jake Bible, Esteemed Inventor of the Drabble Novel

Day 27 of #31ZombieAuthors – I was in a coma after engaging in a zombie battle of my own, but Alien Jones took over interviewing duties, taking lessons from Jake Bible on how to write a Drabble novel.

Also, it was Jake’s birthday. Every author should get an interview on his/her birthday.

Bookshelf Battle



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By: Special Guest Interviewer, Alien Jones

Humans, my guest today is none other than JakeBible.  A Bram Stoker Award nominated novelist, short story writer, independent screenwriter, podcaster, and inventor of “the Drabble Novel,” he’s entertained thousands with his horror and science fiction tales, reaching audiences of all ages with his ability to write in a wide range of genres.

Jake is the author of the bestselling Z-Burbia series.  Set in Asheville, NC, the books follows residents of a suburban community as they transition from easygoing living to post-apocalyptic zombie fighting.

SIDENOTE:  Today, October 27, is also Jake’s birthday.

A recent court ruling made the “Happy Birthday Song” free to all, which is great, because knowing that old cheapskate BQB, he’d of never approved of us singing it otherwise.

So let’s all sing Jake “Happy…

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How the West Was Zombed – Parts 1-4

In case you missed Parts 1-4

Zombies + Cowboys = Zombie Western

Also – Vampires and Werewolves for extra credit

Bookshelf Battle

shutterstock_236377546.jpg Bookshelf Q. Battler, Blogger-In-Chief

Bookshelf Q. Battler has locked himself away in BQB HQ, tapping away at the keyboard to write, “How the West Was Zombed” the first in what he hopes to be a lucrative series of “Zombie Western” novels, because he lives to make his 3.5 readers happy, and also because he wants to be paid.

But mostly, he’s doing this to satisfy the Mighty Potentate, the evil alien overlord who has charged BQB with writing novels awesome enough to convince the masses to abandon reality television, which the Mighty Potentate despises greatly.

shutterstock_135453842.jpg All Hail the Mighty Potentate.

If you like it or hate it, either way, give BQB your feedback.  Your comments help BQB improve his writing and we need BQB to become a better writer so that he can write a book that will save the world from a takeover by the Mighty Potentate.


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Oscars 2016 Recap

Chris Rock defused the Oscars So White controversy with humor.

As an ugly person rights activist, I’m still waiting for an apology for the Oscars being So Pretty.

Big upset in the Best Supporting Actor category.  Thought Sly was going to win that for sure.

Best Picture – Spotlight.  Have not seen it yet.

Thoughts, 3.5 readers?

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Tonight’s Walking Dead


What did everyone think?

The world was expanded a bit.  Another survivor community.  A surprise twist.  A new villain.

Should Rick and the gang fight Neegan?

What say you, 3.5 readers?

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Movie Review – Eddie the Eagle (2016)

Sniff sniff.

Oh God.  They finally made a movie about my life.

I mean, I’m not British and I wouldn’t set foot near a ski jump if you paid me but still…I am a nerd who knows the harsh oppression that nerds face when they seek to make their dreams come true.


BQB here with a review of Eddie the Eagle.

Michael “Eddie” Edwards had one dream growing up – to become an Olympian.

That’s a lofty goal for anyone but especially for him.  He was in a leg brace for most of his early childhood and even had to stay at a hospital for a year.

As a youngster, he tries his hand at every sport only to fail miserably and end up with a box full of broken glasses.

Miraculously, he does make it onto the British downhill ski team only to be cut.  Eddie is poor, unsophisticated and ultimately, the British Olympic Committee just doesn’t like him.

Speaking of poverty, he’s at odds with his Dad who wants him to quit skiing and get a job, preferably as a plasterer, as that’s what his father does for a living.

Eddie is about to pack it all in until he concocts an idea to become a ski jumper.  Britain hasn’t had one since the 1920’s so all he has to do is land a good jump to qualify.

Easier said than done.  After running off to a ski training facility in Germany, Eddie befriends former American ski jumper Bronson Peary.  Perry is a down and out drunk, torn between a desire to find greatness again by becoming Eddie’s coach and not wanting to see Eddie die.

For, Bronson explains, even the most skilled and qualified jumpers wipe out and end up gruesomely mangled all the time.

In case you’re not convinced, you’ll see Eddie get knocked all over the slopes all throughout the film.  It almost makes you wonder who thought ski jumping would be a good sport to begin with.

I don’t want to give too much more away.  Like Rocky, Eddie competes.  He tries.  He gets in the game and his victory doesn’t come from gold (he comes nowhere close) but that he did so much better than expected, especially when no one expected anything from him.

If you’re not a ski jumper, that’s ok.  This movie can be applied to any dream.  On this blog, we talk about our writing aspirations, hopes, and dreams.

I can tell you I can relate to Eddie.  Maybe not with the hurling myself into the air, but I know what it’s like to be told by family and friends to quit writing, to be told by experts it can’t be done, to wonder myself what other productive things I could be doing instead of gluing myself to my keyboard.

But we do what we do because we can’t stop ourselves.

Taron Egerton is a great Eddie just as Hugh Jackman is an excellent Bronson.

It is too bad this movie came out so early in the year.  I see Oscar potential.  I know it made me shed a tear or too.

Then again, the Oscars are So Pretty, and they probably wouldn’t want to promote a movie that gives nerds a crazy idea like they can be somebody.

STATUS: Shelf worthy.

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