Daily Archives: March 9, 2016

How the West Was ZOMBED – Chapter 10

I debated this a lot because this chapter takes the story in a different direction.

It means it is not going to be “hey a zombie outbreak happened and who cares how it happened, how will everyone survive?” deal.

We get our first inkling that supernatural forces are at play with the introduction of Joe and Miles, father and son werewolves.

What sold me on it was Miles complaining no one would accept them in the new town.

Automatically, you think yeah, because you guys are werewolves but no…Miles isn’t talking about that.. he’s talking about them being black.

I don’t know. I found it witty.

Some werewolf rules established. They can speak to each other telepathically while in werewolf form.

I thought about making it so they could talk to each other in their minds in human form too but I saw some difficulties with that whereas in later chapters, them being able to talk as wolves helped me make them communicate when they aren’t near each other.

It made me worry to add a new hero figure. I worried maybe he’d steal Slade’s thunder.

But the thing is, this is 1880. Bram Stoker didn’t publish Dracula until 1897. So I don’t know how much they knew about vampires and werewolves (or zombies, since they are a relatively new addition to the monster world when compared to other monsters)…and Slade and friends would need someone on their side to explain it to them.

There’s some talk alluding to civil rights progress. Miles says why can’t we live in the woods. Joe says why would you deny yourself opportunities. He argues if they keep at it, maybe one day someone in their family will get the chance to do something great.

Hate to say it, but that motivated me to bump Joe off later so that Miles could have a chance to achieve that greatness.

Bookshelf Battle


High atop the town’s rickety old water tower, a massive, hairy, hulking beast observed Slade as he dozed. Black fur, dagger-like claws, a snout full of razor sharp teeth. Even at rest, the eight-foot tall creature’s breath was hot, even steamy.

The legends are true. Werewolves have lived amongst humanity for ages, blending in as humans when they can, hiding in the shadows in their alternative form when they’re unable to keep their inner beast at bay.

This one seemed rather interested in the church, having surveyed the property for several minutes. A half mile away in the distance, he saw a pair of red eyes similar to his own emerge above the courthouse. The being they were attached to drew closer, leaping from rooftop to rooftop until it too found a spot on the water tower to lay low.

What is the deadliest power a werewolf has in its personal…

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How the West Was ZOMBED – Chapter 9

Some character development for Gunther…setting out the scene with 30 captive Buchanan Boys. Part of me thought I should just have the zombie apocalypse start here but I wasn’t ready yet.

Knox and his sons, I hate to say, are throwaway characters. There hasn’t been time to expand on them. Gunther needed more manpower to watch 30 people and as we’ll see soon Slade will become preoccupied with the ladies.

It just wasn’t plausible that Gunther could watch them alone and not get rushed.

I was a little worried because Knox is old so with Gunther it’s like two old guys. So I did my best to differentiate him.

The Knoxes will most likely return and unless something else pops into mind, probably become zombie food.

Bookshelf Battle


Highwater didn’t have much in the way of large public buildings, but the Reverend Cavanagh allowed his church to serve as a makeshift jailhouse whenever Slade and Gunther had too many yahoos in custody for the cage in the Marshal’s office to hold.

The Buchanan Boys were arranged six per pew, their legs clapped in irons, each man chained to the one next to him. It wasn’t exactly conducive to good shuteye.

“Now boys,” Gunther said. “Let’s go over the rules.”

Jefferson Knox was a good old boy Gunther knew from way back. A fellow veteran. He had a scar across his right cheek courtesy of a Confederate bayonet. Those were dark times indeed. The American Civil War led to an internal neighbor against neighbor struggle in Missouri. Some, like Gunther and Knox, chose the North. Others chose the South. Fifteen years had gone a long way to heal the…

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How the West Was ZOMBED – Chapter 8

This is the chapter that made me believe this story had legs.

I started out with Slade as a quiet stoic – a parody of Clint Eastwood’s “stranger” in his old cowboy movies like The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

Brown hair, bulging forehead vein, raspy voice, doesn’t talk much.

But then I thought well, that joke can only go so far.

Then it hit me – what if he isn’t this tough guy with everyone? What if, behind closed doors, he lets it all hang out with Miss Bonnie?

I love it. I think it’s funny. He shows such little emotion to everyone else but then he’s crying to Miss Bonnie. Waah. My Deputy hates me. Standing Eagle Hates me. Everyone hates me. Being a marshall is hard. Waah make me feel better.

I relate to this chapter. Personally, I feel like in a perfect relationship, you shouldn’t have to be “on” with your significant other. You get up, you go out in the world, you put on your brave, tough face. You might be unhappy in your mind but you get your job done and come home.

You shouldn’t have to put up a front with your wife or husband. So many other people out there will be happy to tear you down so why not be with someone who is willing to prop you up when you’re feeling down?

I guess people might differ, but I feel like that’s what a marriage is supposed to be all about and a lot of people lose sight of that. Looks seem to trump everything but people forget we all get old and you still need to be able to trust and carry on a conversation with that person when they’re old and hideous.

Slade attempts a proposal. He’s got a ring. He doesn’t actually show it. He offers to take her away from all this. It’s not the same as a proposal but its an indication that he’d like more of a relationship where he pays her to snuggle and talk.

She rebuffs him but when he knocks out Roscoe for calling her a whore, she’s like, well, I’m in love, no one’s cared enough to do something like that for me before.

And then we see how easily can slip back into his fake tough guy facade.

Unfortunately, I’m not sure if people pick up on this, but you know how Christian Bale will be Bruce Wayne and talk normal and then he’ll be Batman and talk with a raspy voice?

That’s kind of like what Slade is doing here. He’s a normal guy around Miss Bonnie but then he puts on a tough personality to the rest of the world.

I feel like this would come across better if this were a movie. An actor acting one way in front of Bonnie and another in front of everyone else, you’d get but here it is easy to miss.

I also like how he offered to pay for the money Roscoe would have paid had he not been knocked out and Miss Bonnie replies that she’ll just go through his pants and take it out later.

Oh and we learn that Miss Bonnie shot her ex husband. I still can’t think of a way in which that would come up so it’s looking like that might be a secret Slade will never find out.

She’s a prostitute and a brothel owner. Usually, you’re one or the other but I thought it worked well with the backstory – she’s scooping up as much money as she can so she doesn’t have to be dependent on a man because when she was it didn’t end well.

Bookshelf Battle



The rasp in his voice disappeared, the scowl lifted, his tongue was no longer tied and the words flowed out of Slade’s mouth like the choppy waters of a roaring river. As if that weren’t bad enough, the lawman’s face was covered with snot and tears.

“Shhh baby,” Miss Bonnie said softly as she stroked her fingers through Slade’s luscious brown hair. “I got you. Hush that fool talk now, no one hates you.”

Yup. Men have needs and sometimes one of them is the shoulder of a good woman to cry on, or in this case, an ample bosom to cry into. Why? What did you readers think Slade needed?


“YEPH DEY DOOTH!” Slade’s voice was muffled by Miss Bonnie’s copious assets. He turned his head to the side for purposes of pronunciation and better air inhalation.

“Who?” Miss Bonnie asked. “Who hates you?”


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How the West Was ZOMBED -Chapter 7

I liked this Chapter.

Doc is the kind of guy who lies nonstop yet I’m pretty sure he believes himself. I’ve met people like this. You probably have too.

Some of his lies are probably half-grounded in reality. He probably has traveled the world. Maybe he’s been to England and India and felt that justifies adding a fib about advising the Queen and the Raj.

Then again, he lies so much, you’d never know if he was telling the truth if he was.

I thought it was a) very funny and b) developing his character by having him finagle his way into charging three women for umm illicit activities on the grounds of a medical examination.

And keep in mind, he’s such a good liar he believes he’s doing them a favor.

I had no idea “Annabelle” would be back but she does come back later to humorous effect and really compliments Doc as a fellow self absorbed perverted reprobate. They make a good couple.

In the rewrite, I will probably cut out the two women (sorry Doc, you’re losing your three-way) and just flush out Annabelle a bit more, what does she look like etc and just make it so Doc talks her into his ummm…medical advice.

This scene was by and large to set up what it is like inside the Bonnie Lass, the town’s saloon. Cowboys fighting, typical chairs being broken, crooked card games, all usual Western stuff.

Miss Bonnie’s sass shows when she shoots the bottle out of a guy’s hand before he can break it over someone else’s head.

Looking back, it might be a glimpse into the idea that she isn’t totally happy there. It’s like her whole life is spent babysitting “assholes” and I have noticed as the story goes on, she calls people assholes often.

The downside to this chapter is Doc gets lost for awhile. At this moment, Gunther is baby sitting the Buchanan Boys at the church and since there are 30 plus, he can’t do it alone. I don’t think even he and Doc could do that alone.

Doc can’t be a guard and be charming prostitutes at the same time, so I erred on the side of letting him slip away for awhile just because that’s how much I like him in this scene.

Finally, the end – where Slade comes in and there’s all this talk of “Miss Bonnie having something Slade needed and he wasn’t going to leave until he got it…”

It makes you think that he came there to get busy, right? But read on to Chapter 8…

Bookshelf Battle


Sundown was the busiest time to visit the Bonnie Lass. Men had needs and Miss Bonnie’s gals aimed to please. Like prize peacocks, they strutted their stuff around the saloon floor, adept in the art of separating lonely men from their money.

Most of those men were lonely for a reason. Ugly, mean, miserable, alcoholic slimeballs without a dime to their name and no accomplishments to speak of.

Of course, in any brothel, there’s the occasional man who isn’t so bad but just can’t get out of his own way when it comes to chatting up a member of the fairer sex.

Once in awhile, there’s even a man who, despite all the odds against him, charms the ladies into having a good time.

Doc was one of those men. A scotch in one hand and a cigar in the other, he sat in a comfy chair in a back corner. Martha and…

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Chloe Grace Moretz on Korean SNL

First of all, I never knew Saturday Night Life existed in other countries.

Second, I wish I knew what they were saying.  All I can tell is that she gets invited to this family’s house for dinner, gets upset three minutes in to the video and slaps the guy in the face with some kind of spicy meat dish.

If I were Korean I’d probably find this hilarious.

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