A Brief History of the Cold War:
It started 5 minutes after World War II. The Russians tried to take over the US and force us to stand in line for toilet paper and turn all our women into chubby babushkas named Olga.
Then Ronald Reagan put an end to all that bullshit by besting Mikhail Gorbachev in a best two out of three jello wrestling competition.
And then after that it looked like the Russkis were going to knock the shit off for awhile but you know, what with the rise of Putin and all, you might want to keep an eye on your girlfriend if she knows more quotes from the Communist Manifesto than from those romance movies in the previous post.
The Russians.
Oh sure, they say they want to be our friends but then as soon as we aren’t looking they kick the Ukraine in the balls and give East Europe a wedgie.
Let’s face it. For many Russians the Cold War never ended and they’re looking for their chance to spread communism across the globe.
Fellow American men, here are some warning signs that your girlfriend might in fact be a Russian spy:
10. You asked her if she is a Russian spy and her answer was “nyet.” Nyet, of course, is Russian for “no.” This is a clear sign your girlfriend is a Russian spy as an American woman would have responded, “No” or “Shut up and buy me something assface.”
9. You glanced at her cell phone and noticed she has “Putin” listed in her contacts.
8. She gets up in the middle of the night, strips naked…
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Bookshelf Battle 