Men, I don’t want to alarm you but the Institute for Fake Research and Bogus Statistics indicates that there is a 110% chance your girlfriend may or may not be trying to assassinate you with her vagina.
I mean, more likely than not she isn’t, but you might want to check this out for shits and or possible giggles anyway.
Yes, your girlfriend is quite fetching.
I’d make a joke about how she could assassinate me anytime…but I really don’t want to be assassinated.
One might even say if looks could kill…well, hold that thought.
From BQB HQ in fabulous East Randomtown, here are the Top Ten Warning Signs Your Girlfriend Might Be an Assassin.
10. Constantly wears a fully body leather cat suit everywhere, at all times…EXCEPT…when you want her to. When you want her to she just throws on those dumpy old smelly sweat pants you wish she’d throw away. Women.
9. All of her seemingly minor faux pas may in fact be attempts to assassinate you:
- Undercooked chicken = bad cook? – Nope. Assassin! (An attempt to assassinate you via food poisoning.)
- Slippery floor = lousy housekeeper? – Nope. Assassin! (She’s biding her time until you slip and fall to your doom.)
- Constantly wants to do it =…
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