Top Ten Warning Signs Your Girlfriend Might Be Melisandre

Sure she has a mean streak…and she’s very sure of herself…she might even be a bit of a religious fanatic….but if your girlfriend displays all of these traits plus has the ability to push smokey shadow assassins out of her vagina, then you, my friend may very well be dating Lady Melisandre aka the Red Woman from Game of Thrones.

Bookshelf Battle

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Lady Melisandre.

The Red Woman.

Skillfully played by Carice van Houten, the Red Woman may be Stannis’ other woman but let’s face it…she’s the only woman if she has anything to say about it.

From the home office in BQB HQ and just in time for the Season 6 Premiere of Game of Thrones, here are the Top Ten Warning Signs Your Girlfriend Might Be Melisandre:

10.  She’s very supportive of your work and career goals…to the point that she’s willing to push a shadow assassin out of her vagina to murder your enemies.

Hey.  Be disgusted all you want but that’s true commitment right there.  My entire life I’ve never even been able to get a woman to make a damn sandwich for me, let alone push a shadow assassin out of her vagina to use in the assassination of my enemies.

9.  Cares enough about you that…

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