BQB’s Glasses Dilemma

Hey 3.5.

Your old pal BQB here.

So, I hate when bloggers talk about their personal problems on their blogs.  The readers came from entertainment and insightful conversation and…

3.5 READERS: We come for not of that BQB.  We have literally gotten none of that here.

Oh ok then.

So here’s the deal, and I figure since you are all nerds, you too have had problems with glasses:

  • About midway through last year, maybe 6 months ago, I started noticing that when I sit a certain distance away from a computer monitor, I had trouble seeing it.  It didn’t look in focus.  Now, to explain, well I don’t want to say my life story, but once a week I find myself at one desk in particular.  It’s kind of large.  The computer is positioned kind of far away, yet not so far away that it should be a problem.  It worried me but I never experienced the problem anywhere else so I didn’t worry about it and when I’m at that particular desk (I’m only at this desk once a week so it didn’t seem like a big deal) I just scooch myself closer.  Still, when I’m on a desktop, I’ve always prefer to lean back in my chair like a fat, bloated lounge lizard and I used to be able to do that with no problem but now I have to sit up and lean in to see the screen.
  • I’ve been going to the same optometrist since childhood, literally the same man who gave me my first set of glasses as a little boy nerd.  So, since I’m no spring chicken myself, you can imagine this guy is an old timer.
  • I always stuck with the guy because I never really cared for places like Pearl Vision or Lens Crafters or shit like that because I never really liked the idea of turning health issues into a franchise.  I’ll go to a franchise for pizza, chicken and burgers, but I wouldn’t go to a franchise for assistance with any of my body parts so why go to one for my eyes?
  • Well anyway, long story short, one of those franchises opened in town and I’m not sure what happened but my long serving optometrist closed his office and went to work for those corporate franchise bastards.  I don’t want to cast aspersions.  He seemed happy enough.
  • So, I tend to let eye appointments go a long time.  I know you should go once a year but if I’m not having any problems I tend to let it go a long time.  Last time I went in was 2013 and the old timer still had his office.  So, give or take some months, its been three and some change years.
  • I also don’t like going because I don’t like the idea that my prescription might change.  Since childhood, it has always amazed, and frightened me, that there are all sorts of precision tests (X-rays, lab work, procedures) to help a doctor determine what is wrong with certain parts of your body, yet all of optometry revolves around the optometrist putting a damn metal mask that contains like a zillion lenses inside and then he starts flipping them and going, “1 or 2, 1 or 2, 1 or 2…” Shit, I don’t know!
  • Literally, most of the time I can’t tell a difference between “1 or 2.”  So I hate to go to appointments because I fear he’ll up my prescription to the point where he’ll have me wearing a pair of goddamn hubble telescope fucking Mr. Magoo like glasses on my face.  My glasses are pretty thin and I’d like to keep it that way.  I’m sorry, but it’s hard enough to get chicks with thin glasses and its virtually impossible to get it with coke bottle glasses.
  • So, it having been a long time and it worrying me about my screen issue, I finally bit the bullet and followed the old timer to his new home in the evil franchise.
  • He does the “1 or 2” bullshit with me.  I don’t blame him.  I’m sure at optometry school there is a giant room with a thousand aspiring eye doctors who sit in front of a thousand mannequins with their faces stuffed into eye glass machines and they spend all day peppering the mannequins with, “1 or 2, 1 or 2…”
  • If I can’t tell a legit difference or even if its close, I always say, “same.”  Again, I don’t want to go up if I don’t have to.  If there’s like a real, “Holy shit that’s so much better” moment then OK, I won’t deny myself the comfort but I’ve never had it.  It’s just always “1 or 2” and they both look close so I just go with same.
  • This time I let the dude kind of bully me.  On one try, he kept going 1 or 2 and I kept saying same and then eventually he was like, “Come on you must be able to see a difference” so I caved and picked one and shit, he upped one lense just a bit.  The other stayed the same.
  • I didn’t contest it.  I’d had the problem with the screen so I figured maybe I was having a problem.  Maybe an adjustment would help.
  • OK here’s where it gets interesting.  I let his eyeglass saleswoman talk me into getting anti-glare coating on my glasses.  I usually never let sales people talk me into add ons.  When I buy a car, I tell the salesman trying to sell me undercarriage wax to go pound sand.  When I buy a video game, I tell the cashier trying to sell me scratch protection for the game disk to shove it where the sun don’t shine.  But here, I thought I was in a medical establishment.  Anti-glare?  Yes.  Shield my eyes from UV rays.  A small price to pay for eye protection.
  • I’ve had these new specs close to 2 weeks.  For the first week, I didn’t notice a problem.  Then starting Monday, I noticed I’m having the problem of not being able to see computer screens clearly…on every screen.  Lap top.  All other desk tops, not just the one I had the problem with once a week.
  • I wondered if it was the anti-glare coating.  Computer screens give off light, maybe that doesn’t sit well with the anti glare.  But then I put on my old glasses and I didn’t notice a difference.  I still had a problem staring at screens.  Yes, I also have a problem staring at my cell phone.
  • So I don’t know what to do.  Let’s review:

A)  I should go in and since I’ve got a month to change the glasses with no extra charge, tell them the anti-glare coat smokes pole and that I’d like a new pair without the glare.  I have talked to a few nerds who have gone to the same store and they too tell me they hated the anti glare.

B)  But if I experienced the problem with the old glasses, this is likely a sign of some bigger problem with my eyes that the anti glare removal may not fix.  Perhaps I should see the doctor and ask him to test me again.  I did mention the screen issue when I saw him and he said ok and proceeded to test me and that’s all that came of it at the time.

C) If I ask him to test me again, I’m not sure what he’d find since it has only been two weeks.  I’ll feel like an asshole explaining this to him.  I’ll go through the same test.  Most likely it will have the same result.  I’ll go through a bunch of shit and get rid of the anti glare glasses for regular glasses and I’ll still have screen problems.

D)  There’s literally a part of me that wants to lie and go in with a story about a hobo who punched me in the face on a subway and my eyes haven’t felt right since just so I have a better story as to why I want him to look at my eyes again after seeing him 2 weeks ago.

E)  On top of that, I have been

Advise me, 3.5 readers.  What should I do?

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3 thoughts on “BQB’s Glasses Dilemma

  1. If you can’t see, go back to the eye doctor. Tell him the short version of the above story. Better yet, find a new eye doctor and tell him the short version of the above story.

    • I’m already convinced I’m dying. I can hear Arnold’s voice in my head. “Its not a toomah.”

      In seriousness, I’m not sure what to make of it. If it keeps up, I probably will go back though I’m 99 percent sure ill go through all the motions and still have the same problem.

  2. None of the above. Get Lasik surgery. When the Trumpocalypse happens, there won’t be anyone left to make your lenses. That’s what the rich survivalists of Silicon Valley are doing.

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