Daily Archives: February 21, 2017

Zom Fu – Chapter 42

Advisor Zhen trembled before Dragonhand. He looked around only to see the snarling faces of the undead gawking at him as though he would make a tasty meal. The fat man bowed.

“Mighty Dragonhand,” Advisor Zhen said. “You have truly complimented your status as an astounding warrior with an army that appears to be as skilled as they are fearsome.”

“Spare me the horse manure and make with the Emperor’s brain, pig man,” Dragonhand replied.

General Tsang’s shout carried down the wall and into the advisor’s ears. “Is everything alright?!”

The advisor looked up at the general and nodded. “Yes! All is well!”

Up above, General Tsang and Nianzu were joined by Tengfei and Weiyuan.

“Is Zhen really that stupid?” Tengfei asked.

“Apparently so,” General Tsang answered.

Down below, Advisor Zhen stretched out his arms and approached Dragonhand.

“Come now, we are both great leaders,” the fat man said as he wrapped his arms around the greatest of all undead warriors. “Let us embrace and find a compromise that avoid hostility.”

“He’s lost his mind,” General Tsang said as he watched the advisor hug Dragonhand.

Advisor Zhen leaned up on his tip toes in order to put his mouth next to Dragonhand’s ear. Upon doing so, the advisor dropped the cordial tone and whispered furiously. “What are you doing here?! You swore to me that before coming to the Forbidden City, you would give me advance notice and riches beyond my wildest dreams.”

Dragonhand yawned, then pushed Advisor Zhen away. “You bore me.”

“You owe me!” Advisor Zhen said.

“For what?” Dragonhand asked.

“For what?” Advisor Zhen asked. “How about for keeping Tsang from coming to the kung fu clans’ aid for all of these years? Do you honestly think you would have been able to grow your clan to such an astounding size if it weren’t for my intervention? Do you really think you would be standing here if it weren’t for me? Tsang advocated for crushing you like a bug in your clan’s infancy and now I wish I had let him, you ungrateful maggot infested corpse.”

On the wall, Weiyuan had a question. “What do you think they are saying?”

“I don’t know,” General Tsang replied. “Probably telling each other how great they are.”

On the ground, Dragonhand grinned sheepishly then opened his arms. “You are right, my old friend. Sometimes I can be so prideful that I fail to recognize those who have done so much for me. Come and let’s talk about how I can make it up to you.”

“That’s more like it,” Advisor Zhen said as he went in for a hug. Dragonhand returned the gesture and patted the fat man on the back.

“Remind me,” Dragonhand said. “What did I promise you?”

“A thousand barrels of gold and your protection for the rest of my days,” Advisor Zhen said.

Dragonhand turned his right hand into a tiger claw and hovered it just beside Advisor Zhen’s right ear. The fat man didn’t even notice.

“Yes, we will have to keep you safe, won’t we?” Dragonhand asked.

“Tsang will demand my head one way or another once he figures out what I’ve done,” Advisor Zhen said.  “You’ll need to order your beasts to take care of me.”

Back on the wall, General Tsang was beginning to figure things out. “This embrace is lasting too long. He’s either grown rather fond of the affections of dead men or he’s selling us all out.”

On the ground, Advisor Zhen continued his demands. “Of course, I must insist on a monthly stipend should you decide to keep me on in my advisory position. I believe I could be of good use to you and…”

Thunk! Dragonhand’s tiger claw entered Advisor Zhen’s skull. The pain was excruciating for the fat man as he choked on his own blood. Dragonhand stopped short of the advisor’s brain in order to deliver some final words.

“Did you honestly think I would ever reward a traitor?” Dragonhand asked.

Advisor Zhen sputtered and spit blood as he spoke. “I…did it…for…you.”

“I’ll always respect a man who would lay down his life to stop me more than a rotund little pipsqueak willing to trade the trust bestowed upon him for gold,” Dragonhand said.

Rip! The zom fu master tore our Advisor Zhen’s brain, chomped on it, then spiked it on the ground. “Blech! I already know all there is to know about backstabbing and duplicity.”

Up above, General Tsang cried a single tear for the chubby little man he so despised, then drew his sword.

“Archers! Fire at will!”

General Tsang turned to Nianzu, Weiyuan and Tengfei.  “You three with me.”

Walking Dead Recap -Season 7, Episode 10 – “New Best Friends”


Mmm.  Brains.  So delicious.  So yummy.


The Walking Dead continues.  Rick still seeks recruits to join his battle against the Saviors. Ezekiel says no on behalf of the Kingdom.  What’s his face I don’t remember but that douchey guy says no on behalf of the Hilltop.

However, Rick meets the trash people, a group of schmucks living in a junkyard who are totally weird and say and do weird things.

Is Rick right for taking on the Saviors?  What say you, 3.5 readers?

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