Daily Archives: February 14, 2017

Daily Discussion with VGRF – Should VGRF Get Back Together With BQB and Return His Blog?

Hey 3.5 readers.  Happy Valentine’s Day.

Video Game Rack Fighter here.

Sigh.  I suppose BQB’s love song got to me.  All of a sudden I’m missing his neediness and feeling bad that I have left him with no other place to live other than a tiny motel room where he has to spoon with Leo McCoy, the Man Who Once Delivered a Sandwich to James Van Der Beek.

Then again, if I let him come back he’ll just pee on the toilet seat again.  Plus, I have come to enjoy being a blog proprietor.  And it has been a blast to have custody of you 3.5 readers.

Thoughts?  What say you, 3.5 readers?

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Hello…Is It BQB You’re Looking For?

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Dear Video Game Rack Fighter,

Your old ex-boyfriend BQB here.  I know our divorce agreement called for me to be shot out of a cannon aimed directly at the sun if I ever post on this fine blog ever again, but it’s Valentine’s Day and I can’t help myself.

These past few weeks spent spooning with Leo McCoy in the Random Motel have really provided me some perspective, namely, that I love you and also that I won’t even pee in the toilet anymore so as to avoid causing a fight due to poor aim.  I will just pee outside with Bookshelf Q. Battle Dog from now on.

Anyway, I met Lionel Ritchie at the Random Motel.  He was staying there because, well, he doesn’t have much to do lately.  He helped me write this love song in your honor.  Hope you like it:

Hello…Is It BQB You’re Looking For?

I’ve been alone with you inside my HQ
And when Leo McCoy spoons me, I don’t know what to do.
I sometimes use the Yeti as my throw rug on the floor.
Hello, is it BQB you’re looking for?
I can see it in on the blog
I can see it in the web hits
You want to go back to your video games.
You don’t want none of this.
And I want to tell you so much, I love you.
I long to see you turn on your gaming system.
And watch you kick back with a game of Car Thief Mayhem.
But all I do now is tell Leo McCoy, “No!”
Hello!  I don’t want to spoon with him no mo!
Cause I wonder what Bookshelf Q Battle Dog is up to.
Is he being a good dog.Is he watching over you?
Tell me how to win back my blog, it would be a miraculous feat.
But let me start by saying…I’m sorry I peed on the toilet seat.
Hello
Is it BQB you’re looking for?
Cause I wonder about my 3.5 readers, and what is on their minds.
Are they still even reading this blog?  Are they tired of this grind?
Tell me how to win back my blog, oh that would be a miraculous feet
But let me start by saying I’m sorry I peed on the toilet seat.

P.S. Also I love you and so forth.

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Top Ten Things to Do on Valentine’s Day If You are Single

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Hey 3.5 readers.

VGRF here.

Ahh, Valentine’s Day.  That day of the year where couples celebrate their love, and single people wallow in their misery.

Have you got no sweetie to canoodle with on this February 14?  No worries.  From BQB HQ, now VGRF HQ, in fabulous East Randomtown, it’s the Top Ten Things You Can Do on Valentine’s Day If You Are Single:

#10 – Cry

It’s natural.  It’s healthy.  It pushes toxins out of your system.  Have a ball while having a ball.  Personally, I won’t cry over…<sniff sniff> that loser BQB…<sniff>.

#9 – Hug Your Cat

Video Game Rack Fighter Cat is my fluffy valentine.  If you don’t have a fluffy valentine, maybe there’s one at the pound who would love to be yours.

#8 – Eat Lots of Ice Cream

Preferably, with the cat under one arm and the spoon in the other hand thus to maximize the total possible amounts of cat snuggling and scooping of ice cream into face hole.

#7 – Fart Freely

You’re single.  You have no one to offend.  Let ’em rip.

#6 – Foil a Super Villain’s Plot to Take Over the World

There’s always a super villain up to no good somewhere.  Also, not gonna lie, foiling a super villain is a great story to tell on a date.  You’ll definitely have a valentine next year if you foil a super villain’s plot.  Then again, I have foiled several super villain plots and I am dateless this year.  Harrumph.

#5 – Drunk Dial Exes

Pretend to be a telemarketer just so they’ll talk to you again.  Or just be quiet and listen to them breathe.  Better yet, load up Lionel Ritchie’s Hello and press play when your ex answers.

Nothing convinces an ex that they goofed up big time by letting you get away than calling them a bunch of times and having Lionel sing, “Hello…is it me you’re looking for?”

Oh wait.  They weren’t looking for you.  That’s why they are exes.  Scratch this plan.  Don’t call your exes.  You are better than this.

#4 – Invent a Fake Valentine

Send yourself roses and chocolates at work.  Sign the card from “A Secret Admirer” or pick a swarthy name like, “Ricardo Montalban.”  Just make sure no one in the office is a fan of Fantasy Island.

You’ll know the swag is from you, but your office co-workers will at least assume someone wants a piece of what you’ve got.  Enjoy the compliments all day.  Eat the chocolate and cry all night.

#3 – Declare Yourself a Jehovah’s Witness for a Day

All holidays stink because the only one we should be celebrating is Jesus.  Why are you idiots celebrating Valentine’s Day when you are too stupid to concentrate on a love related holiday and remember to love Jesus at the same time?  Bunch of dummies.

Renounce your new faith on February 15 or what the heck, you could hold onto it until St. Patrick’s Day if you prefer.

#2 – Build a Sex Robot

I took a tour of BQB’s super secret science workshop and between you and me, he has tried to make a whole ton of sex robots.  None of them work though.  They’re hot robot babes, but all they want to do is wash your hair and give you a pedicure.  BQB is the worst robot programmer ever.

#1 – Go to that Place Where That Person Said They’d Meet You

Remember when your old flame said, “If neither of us have found anyone in X number of years, then meet me at such and such monument or famous public place.”

Have X number of years passed yet?  Better get over to that place then.  Then again, you could just punish that dirtbag for not being with you when he had the chance and stand him up while you watch TV and snuggle with your cat and ice cream carton.

Are you a single person?  No, seriously, you probably are if you are reading this blog, but you know, I didn’t want to just insult you by automatically assuming.  If you are sans date this year, how will you spend this holiday?

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