Daily Archives: February 25, 2017

BQB’s Oscar Predictions – Best Picture

Hey 3.5 readers.

OK.  The coveted best picture award.  Who will win?

Let’s talk about Hollywood’s many problems this year.

First of all, if you love Donald Trump or if you hate Donald Trump, I feel like the whole “let’s make the awards shows super political” trend has been backfiring on Hollywood.  The average person goes to movies for entertainment purposes.  The average person turns on the Oscars for entertainment purposes.  The average person will make up their mind on politics based on their own beliefs, values, research, what have you.  There really won’t be any people saying, “Huh, that celebrity thinks this so I should think this.”

It also comes off as a bit disingenuous.  I mean, these people live lives the average person can’t possibly fathom.  They wear suits and gowns to an event that cost more than the average salaries of like 50 people combined and then they probably just throw those clothes away and never wear them again.

They live in fancy mansions, can buy whatever they want and get paid piles of money to play pretend all day.  Some do a better job of reaching out to those in need than others but all in all, I just don’t see any of these celebrities opening up one of the several homes they own to shelter poor people in need.  Hell, if they took like a one percent pay cut the people who fetch their coffee on set could probably earn a living wage.

All I’m saying is that it’s better to do than to say.  Celebrities say a lot.  They don’t do a lot and it’s ironic because they’re in a better position to do than anyone.

3.5 READERS: Do you have a point, BQB?

Yes.  Thank you, 3.5.

This year, the Best Picture Nominees are:

Arrival

Fences

Hacksaw Ridge

Hell or High Water

Hidden Figures

La La Land

Lion

Manchester by the Sea

Moonlight

WHO SHOULD WIN:  Though I haven’t seen it, my gut tells me any film but La La Land.  The plight of the forgotten, struggling people who keep working but never get ahead has been forefront on the public’s mind this past year.

Reflecting that mindset, you’ve got Fences, about a father who is poor and has been knocked around and yells at his son to stop dreaming about becoming a football player and get a regular, boring job and it becomes hard to tell whether the father is trying to give the kid tough love by telling him to stop chasing pie in the sky dreams and focus on reality or if the old man is so pissed off that he never made it that he feels inner jealousy at the idea of his son doing better than him.

You’ve got Hell or High Water, about two brothers cheated out of the family farm by a corrupt bank so they go on a bank robbery spree as an act of revenge against the bank that done them wrong.  The idea that people who depended on farms, factories, and other ever dwindling blue collar jobs are being forgotten is prevalent in the film.

In Manchester by the Sea, a troubled man has to raise his nephew when his brother dies.  Stepping up to do more when a relied upon family member dies is something the average people can relate to.

Moonlight – Cuban born drug dealer tries to be a part of his bullied son’s life.  A lot of people can relate to bullying, struggles with drugs and drug related crime, trying to make it as an immigrant and so on.

Hacksaw Ridge – Son tired of seeing his father beat his mother becomes so disgusted by violence that he refuses to carry a gun when he signs up to become a World War II army medic and overcomes threats of court martial and imprisonment due to his refusal to carry a weapon.  His abhorrence of violence drives him to become the best medic ever, single handedly saving tons of wounded men by dragging them down the side of Hacksaw Ridge on a rope while Japanese forces are in hot pursuit.

Hidden Figures – In the 1960s, black women overcome stereotypical views held by society about black people and women to become mathematicians, helping America win the space race.

Lion – An Indian kid gets so hopelessly lost that he is unable to find his family again.  He is adopted by an Australian couple, then years later, uses Google to locate his original family, thus highlighting how new forms of technology have helped people who in the past were not able to be helped.

La La Land – Gosling and Stone fall and love and sing and dance and shit.

WHAT WILL WIN: La La Land.  And, OK, I haven’t seen it.  Maybe it’s good.  But this is the problem.  Hollywood already gave the Oscar to a shitty love letter film to Hollywood’s greatness called Birdman in 2014, and that movie was truly a pile of crap.  It really was.

So I just think Hollywood is going to end up with a lot of egg on its face this year.  All the stars are going to rant and rave about how the government doesn’t do enough about poverty and how no one worries about poor struggling people and then all of the films about poor struggling people are going to get screwed over in honor of the film about two pretty people who have nothing better to do than fall in love and sing and dance and shit.

 

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BQB’s Oscar Predictions – Best Actor/Actress – Supporting Actor/Actress

Hey 3.5 readers.  A reminder, the Oscars are too pretty.  We ugly people are tired of not seeing anyone as ugly as we are on the silver screen.  We’re here.  We’re ugly.  Get used to our wretched ugliness.  #OscarsSoPretty

However, if you want to check out the anti-ugly Oscars between Walking Dead commercial breaks, it’s a free country.

Here are my Oscar predictions:

BEST ACTOR

THE NOMINEES:

Casey Affleck – Manchester by the Sea

Ryan Gosling – La La Land

Andrew Garfield – Hacksaw Ridge

Viggo Mortensen – Captain Fantastic

Denzel Washington – Fences

WHO SHOULD WIN:  Denzel is getting up there in years, though he’s still hanging in there.  He’s won before, but this might be one of the last few chances for him to take home Oscar gold before he moves into that stage where he starts playing Grampa.  Viggo Mortensen has also been a staple of Hollywood for a long time but has yet to take home a statue.

WHO WILL WIN:  Either Casey Affleck, because Hollywood loves the Afflecks, or Ryan Gosling because it appears that La La Land is going to sweep the awards.  If I have to choose, I’ll go with Gosling.

BEST ACTRESS

Isabelle Huppert – Elle

Ruth Negga – Loving

Natalie Portman – Jackie

Emma Stone – La La Land

Meryl Streep – Florence Foster Jenkins

WHO SHOULD WIN: Emma Stone.  She’s a rare combination of beauty and personality, a hot chick who seems like she’s read a book.  Though she’s young, she’s been in the entertainment game a long time and Hollywood loves her.  Had Natalie Portman not taken home the gold for Black Swan, I’d say give it to her though since she’s been in the game longer.  As for Meryl Streep, she really doesn’t need another one.

WHO SHOULD WIN:  Emma Stone.  All reports indicate it is La La Land’s year.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

NOMINEES:

Masherala Ali – Moonlight

Jeff Bridges – Hell or High Water

Lucas Hedges – Manchester by the Sea

Dev Patel – Lion

Michael Shannon – Nocturnal Animals

WHO SHOULD WIN: Michael Shannon.  The ugly have been denied their due for far too long.  Shannon has made a career off of playing evil villains and weirdoes due to society’s stereotypical, predisposed notions that all ugly people are evil villains and/or weirdos.  I’d rather see him win for playing a respectable person, but the fact that Hollywood allowed an ugly person on screen at all is miraculous, so we have to take baby steps whenever we can.  Normally, when a movie calls for an ugly character, they just use makeup to ugly up a pretty person, so that an actual ugly person was not only allowed to be on screen but also nominated is amazing.

WHO WILL WIN: Masherala Ali.  He is a good actor and you may know him as Remy Danton from House of Cards.  He also stars in Hidden Figures, one of the other nominated films.  Nothing against the guy, I’m just ugly so I feel like I have to root for my fellow uggo Michael Shannon.  Masherala will have many more chances to take home an Oscar, whereas this year Hollywood’s anti-ugly police might realize they fell asleep at the switch by letting Shannon past the gate and then next year they may slam the door on all ugly actors forever.  We uggos have to get while the getting is good.

BEST ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

Nominees:

Viola Davis – Fences

Naomie Harris – Moonlight

Lion – Nicole Kidman

Octavia Spencer – Hidden Figures

Michelle Williams – Manchester by the Sea

WHO SHOULD WIN:  Tough call.  Out of this group, it’s hard to pick one who will get the short end of the stick because, other than Kidman, they’ve all been getting the aforementioned short end for awhile now.  Viola Davis was nominated for 2009’s Doubt and 2012’s The Help, so she’s due.  Octavia Spencer was nominated for 2012’s The Help so she’s due.  Michelle Williams has been nominated for a slew of films dating back to the mid-2000s Brokeback Mountain so she might even be overdue.  Naomi Harris I haven’t heard much from though better film nerds might tell me what else I’ve seen her in, though as far as I know her performance in Moonlight is deserving.  Hell, even though Nicole Kidman has already won, one might argue even she is getting long in the tooth and while her ex-husband Tom Cruise will be allowed to make Mission Impossible movies until he’s in a wheelchair (and even then), she probably doesn’t have much longer until she starts playing Grandma.  All in all, it’s a deserving group overdue for Oscar love, so it’s hard to pick someone to root for other the others.

WHO WILL WIN:  My frenemy Leo McCoy (the man who once delivered a sandwich to James Van Der Beek) and I will be rooting (even though I just said it was hard) for Michelle Williams, largely because we have fond memories of her playing town slut Jen Lindley on Dawson’s Creek.  However, all reports indicate this is Viola Davis’ year and that works for me as she’s been waiting a long time too.

 

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2017 Oscar Nominated Movies that BQB Has Reviewed

Arrival 

Hacksaw Ridge 

Hell or High Water

Still need to see:

Fences

Hidden Figures

La La Land

Lion

Manchester by the Sea

Moonlight

 

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And Now a Word From My Spokesperson…

Hey 3.5 readers.  Your old pal BQB here.

You know, this March will mark the third year anniversary of this fine blog, and though I love you all,  I must admit that in all of this time I have been sitting back and wondering when one of you readers would get off your shiftless, lazy hides and record a video testimonial of my greatness.

Seeing no such incoming video testimonials, I turned to Fiverr and found this delightful spokesperson, who was happy to educate the masses of my astounding brilliance.

In conclusion, this was the best five dollars I have ever spent and had I known it was possible to get women to say nice things about me by paying them I would have started doing it a long time ago.

Thank you, spokesperson.  That was an awesome testimonial.  In all humility, I truly deserved all of those wonderful compliments.

Meanwhile, this was my first time using Fiverr and I recommend it.  There are all sorts of talented folks waiting there to help you do awesome things with your website, blog, business, etc. so check out Fiverr.com

And finally, my spokesperson did such a fantastic job that I’ll give her a plug.  If you have a gig you’d like to throw her way, you can check out Stayingvintage on Fiverr.com

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