Ahh, the T-Rex. The Thunder Lizard. The King of All Dinosaurs.
Wouldn’t it be awesome to have one as a pet?
Sure would be.
From BQB HQ in East Randomtown, it’s the Top Ten Reasons Why it Would Be Awesome to Have a Tyrannosaurus Rex as a Pet:
#10 – You Can Feed Your Enemies to Him
Generally, I recommend that you don’t have enemies. If you consider someone an enemy, just stay away from this person or if possible, make up.
However, if this person comes at you, then I see no reason why he can’t become a T-Rex treat.
Remember the law though. You can only feed someone to your T-Rex in self-defense. You can’t just go feeding people to your T-Rex willy nilly.
#9 – He Can Drop Giant T-Rex Poops On Your Enemies’ Lawns
This would be a more acceptable form of revenge though you might be helping your enemies to fertilize their lawns.
#8 – You Can Ride Him Like a Giant Pony
I’d recommend bonding with the T-Rex first though. Otherwise, he might eat you. Honestly, he might eat you anyway. T-Rexes are notorious butt holes like that.
#7 – Solve All Your Rodent Problems
You think a rat is going to come on your property with a T-Rex watchdog?
#6 – Perfect Home Security System
Similar to #7, do you think a burglar is going to come on your property with a T-Rex watchdog?
#4 – Scare Away Bill Collectors, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Salesmen, Solicitors and Unwanted Relatives
See #6 and #7.
#3 – You Can Call Him Rexy
Best name for a pet ever.
#2 – Best Alarm Clock Ever
You’ll never sleep through a 6 AM wake up roar. Never be late to work again!
#1 – Everyone Will Be Totally Jealous
See reasons #2-10
- They have tiny arms!
- They eat lawyers on toilets!
- They have bad eyesight, so you can flip them off when they are naughty, but just don’t make any sudden movements as they can see movement. I’m an expert because I saw Jurassic Park.