There’s a disturbing new trend, 3.5 readers.
Can’t find the love of your life? Do all your romantic conquests leave you disappointed? Do you still want to walk down the aisle despite having no one to stand next to at the alter?
You’re in luck for you can now…marry yourself!
Yes, marry yourself. Propose to yourself. Have a ceremony with yourself that you invite all your friends and loved ones to attend. Go on a honeymoon by yourself and grow old with yourself.
After all, no one understand you more than you and no one will be there for you more than you because you’re the only one who physically can’t run away from yourself.
Anyway, I’ve been seeing stories about this popping up and I’ve never been able to tell if its on the level. Some people may just be doing it because its funny, though I would imagine there are a few dopes who actually think this is the real deal and make all sorts of serious pledges to themselves.
Something tells me that kit should include the number to the “Help Me, I’m Super Depressed” hotline.
Would you ever consider marrying yourself, 3.5 readers?
If you do, here are my questions:
#1 – If you masterbate, is that intimacy with your self-bride/self-groom or are you cheating on yourself with….yourself?
#2 – If you finally by some miracle meet someone who can stand you and you want to marry that person, will you have to divorce yourself?
#3 – If you marry yourself and have a one night stand with another person, have you cheated yourself?
#4 – If you divorce yourself, will you have to pay yourself alimony? Will you have to write a check once a month to yourself?
#5 – If you are unhappy with yourself, can you go to self-couple’s counseling?
#6 – Is this that stupid? I mean, don’t many marriages end in divorce, heartache and financial ruin, so much so that you might as well just sit at home and eat cookies with yourself?
#7 – Is this sad? Is it disturbing that marriage has declined to the point where people think this is an option?
#8 – If you have a kid and you divorce yourself, do you have to split custody of the kid between yourself and yourself?
What questions do you have about sologamy, 3.5 readers? Let me know if you plan on marrying yourselves.