Toilet Gator – Chapter 82


Thunk, thunk, thunk. Natalie lightly pounded her head against the side of the news van.

“I had it,” Natalie said. “I had this story right in the palm of my hand and I let it go.”

“Yes you did,” Walter said as he chomped down on a snack cake.

Natalie looked at the snack cake box in Walter’s hand. “Give me one of those.”

“What?” Walter asked.

Natalie lunged for the box. “Gimmie!”

Walter pulled the box away. “No!”

“You’ve got enough, fatty!” Natalie said as she reached for the box.

Walter put the palm of his hand on Natalie’s forehead, holding her back as her arms flailed about wildly. “It’s not that. I just don’t want you to go down the road I went down. Stress eating gets you nowhere than a trip to the plus size store fast.”

“I deserve it!” Natalie said.

“You don’t,” Walter said. “Do you have any idea what it’s like to shop for clothes as a fat person. Your choices are usually the big red shirt or the big blue shirt or the big black shirt. That’s about it. You’ll never wear name brands again.”

“I’m empty inside!” Natalie said.

“And snack cakes will never fill that hole!” Walter said. “Believe me, I know. It’s too late for me, but I won’t let you start chasing the cream filled dragon. Not on my watch, sister.”

Natalie escaped Walter’s grasp and leaned back against the van. “I guess you’re right but…”

“Natalie,” Walter said. “I thought that professor was a loon too. No one could have seen that an alligator was the toilet killer. Kurt is just blowing smoke out of his ass.”

Natalie jumped into the passenger’s seat. Kurt got behind the wheel.

“We need to find that professor,” Natalie said.

“I’m on it,” Walter said.

“When do I get to play my hand, Walter?” Natalie asked. “If that sack of crap embarrasses me on air one more time…”

“Trust me,” Walter said. “Bide your time. All good things come to those who wait.”

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