The Shelfies – 2017 Award Season

Movie reviewer on what was supposed to be a book blog, Bookshelf Q. Battler, here.

I love movies and I watched a lot of them in 2017, so without further ado, the Shelfies.  Here’s the quick overview, and I’ll try to remember to reblog the reviews I wrote of these films in the coming days.

#1 – BEST FILM  – Wonder Woman

It’s the first comic book movie I’ve seen where an Oscar worthy case could be made.  Female empowerment though they weren’t preachy about it, blend of historic fiction and fantasy.  A good plot that kept the Warner Brothers DC films going even though the others have been stinkers.  It doesn’t hurt that images of Gal Gadot can give a man a boner from 50 paces.

RUNNER UP 1 – Logan

It was a year for semi-artistic, plot driven comic book movies.  Logan was a good case study on the ravages of time and how getting older can screw the best of us up.

RUNNER UP 2 – Get Out

Interesting, original movie about race relations.  Dramas about interracial issues might go a long way to alert the public, but a twisted, half-horror, half-dry/dark/understated humor comedy does a lot more.

#2 – WORST FILM – The Emoji Movie

Attention Hollywood.  The “what if inanimate objects could talk?” premise worked with toys in “Toy Story” because kids actually think their toys are alive.  It worked with Cars because little boys love cars.  No one, and I mean no one, ever gave a shit about what the emojis on their phone might be thinking.  Stop.  Just stop.  Seriously.  If you find yourself thinking, “I wonder what X inanimate thing is thinking,” just stop thinking about it because no one cares.

RUNNER UP 1 – The Mummy

I hate to do this, because there were parts of this film I liked, but Universal’s Dark Universe series didn’t get off to a good start.  I just don’t think people were longing for the Mummy and the Wolfman and Frankenstein and Dracula to get the band back together.  Good writing in this first film might have gotten people to want that, but Universal reached for the immersive cinema world and didn’t really grab the apple.  It just doesn’t leave you hoping for a Frankenstein movie where you’d be like, “OMG I hope Tom Cruise makes a cameo.”

RUNNER UP 2 – Transformers: The Last Knight

By God, I have no idea how Michael Bay manages to screw up a series about ten story tall outer space robots who can turn into cars and planes, complete with two warring factions fighting over an ancient grudge but by damn it if Michael Bay doesn’t figure out how to do this each and every time.

Bay’s sweeping disaster movie style was never a good fit for this franchise.  Too much focus on the humans.  We usually get the humans reacting to all these robots fighting but the robots were always the stars of the 1980s cartoon show.  Hate to be one of those nerds who whines about reboots of shows from his childhood, but the next director would be wise to check out the source material.

Seriously.  The Decepticons believe they are the master robot race and they have a right to suck all the resources out of Earth for their own personal use.  The Autobots believe they serve a higher purpose and must act as Earth’s guardians.  Good material for a good story.  Next time, let the robots take the wheel and put the humans in the back seat.

#4 – BEST COMEDY – The Hitman’s Bodyguard

Comedy is dead.  It’s so dead.  Hollywood is so afraid of offending anyone that most comedy films are filled with bland, predictable jokes now.  Go see “The House” if you don’t believe me.

Ryan Reynolds and Sam Jackson were funny together.  Lots of action.  I judge the best comedy by how much I laugh and this gave me the most laughs of the year.

#5 – BEST ANIMATED FILM – Lego Batman

Enough said, really.


It’s important to know how Native Americans were screwed in the past, but this movie also shows us how Native Americans are getting screwed right now, today, you know, during the time we’re actually living so we might be able to effect change by writing our Congressman or some shit.


I want to hear what you thought about the movies you saw in 2017.  Tell me in the comments.






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5 thoughts on “The Shelfies – 2017 Award Season

  1. I have a fat crush on Jeremy Renner so you get props for putting his movie up there. LOL

  2. Mei-Mei says:

    Loved WW and Logan, still need to see Get Out –I’m not much for horror but that looked good

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