Daily Archives: January 21, 2018

I Have Raised the Price of BQB’s Writing Prompt Book

Hey 3.5 readers.

BQB here.

I’m conducting an experiment.

My book has been on sale since June.  Initially, I priced it at 2.99 and no one bought it.  So I lowered it to .99 cents and a few people bought it.  Since then, it’s been just several months of sadness and ennui.

I’ve heard that sometimes a low price can be a detriment to sales.  Sometimes authors will lower a book price just because they’re new and want to attract fans – get them hooked on cheap books and up the prices on the sequels.

But often times a cheap price is taken as a sign the author does not believe in his book.  Think about it.  Have you ever bought anything good at a .99 cent store?

Suppose you’re walking down the street and meet a hooker charging 99 cents for a good time.  You’d have to be crazy to take part in that, right?  Surely she’s charging such a low price because she knows something is wrong.  Perhaps she has a number of contagious diseases, or will give you warts, or crabs, or warty crabs, or penis rot or penis fire (that’s when your penis catches on fire or worse, she’s aware there’s some type of rudimentary steel bear trap buried deep inside her vagina and it will snap your penis in half if you dare enter.

Nay, you would totally run away from the 99 cent prostitute but what if you met the same prostitute and she offered a good time for 10,000?  Then you might be like, “Wow.  She’s really sure of herself.  Maybe her vagina is a magical land filled with rainbows and puppies and unicorns and pots of gold.”

Same vagina.  Two different prices but the prices cause you to think different things.

I worried about upping the price but then I remembered no one is buying it anyway, so I guess nothing will change and if it has no impact after a month or so I’ll just reduce it.  In any event, I’ll report back here how it all went.

By the way, this little enterprise does need to start making some money so not to nudge you, noble reader, but a) it’s not 2.99 yet so until Amazon effectively changes the price, you still have a little time to get my prompts on the cheap and b) if you wait, this is your chance to make a 2.99 contribution to the BQB cause (BQB’s cause is to make BQB rich) – my calculations indicate Supreme Overlord Bezos will take roughly 96 cents and I’ll rake in a whopping $2.04 so in theory, I could party with that 99 cent prostitute twice and still have change left over so not too shabby.

Whatever help you can provide, 3.5 moochers (er I mean darling readers) I would appreciate it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Daily Discussion with BQB – I Need to Get More Controversial

Hey 3.5 readers.  BQB here.

Let’s face it.  The more controversial your opinions are the more traction your blog will get.

Ergo, here are my most exceptionally controversial opinions:

  • Ducks cause cancer.
  • The Earth is neither round nor flat but square.
  • Flavor Flav should be elected Pope.
  • Ice cream is a superfood.
  • Ferrets should rule the world and we should all bow down to our furry snake-like rodent masters.
  • Batman is a menace to society and should be arrested by Commissioner Gordon immediately.
  • Gay marriage should be banned, but not because I’m against gays getting married but because no one should get married.  Also, marriage of all kinds should be banned.
  • Alternatively, marriages should be treated as contracts with an option to renew after five years.  If a football player can’t decide if he wants to be with his team forever, then if you work out and make a lot of money and become a better person in five years than you are today, you should get an option to find a new spouse, one who won’t fart a lot or spend too much or doesn’t leave dirty dishes and toe nail clippings all over.  Someone who won’t have sex with random vagrants or post inappropriate comments about how ugly your genitals are on social media.  Really, every five years, you should be able to take stock and decide if it’s still working enough to renew for another five years or if you’ve bettered yourself to the point where you can find someone who doesn’t drive you insane.
  • Chimpanzees should be trained to become assassins.
  • One day a week should be ugly day on TV.  Only ugly people should be allowed on television.  News networks will be required to find the ugliest people who just fetch the coffee and have them read the news.
  • The Internet should be cancelled.
  • You are not funny, witty or interesting.
  • Also, your children are ugly and will grow up to be mediocre at best.
  • Anyone who jaywalks should be strapped to a rocket and shot into outer space.
  • Rocket launchers should be passed out like candy.  Everyone will leave each other alone if they know the other person is packing a rocket launcher.
  • College should be cancelled.  When you are 18, you should be required to become a hobo and ride the rails in box cars you snuck into and live like a homeless person for four years.  You will learn more.
  • There should be one day a year where you are allowed to fart on anyone you don’t like without fear of legal reprisal.

Do you have a controversial opinion?  Share it in the comments.

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