Daily Archives: February 19, 2018

Top Ten Reasons to Fart

#10 – You have to or you’ll die. Who wants “death by fart” in their obituary ?

#9 – It’s fun.

#8 – Someone has to.

#7 – The right fart can rip a hole in the space-time continuum.

#6 – You can blame it on your dog.

#5 – It’d be weird if you didn’t.

#4 – With enough practice you can fart show tunes.

#3 – You’ll explode if you hold your farts in.

#2 – No one has never not farted.

#1 – Even the Queen ofEngland farts.

Top Ten Machiavelli Quotes

#10 – “Politics have no relation to morals.”

#9 – “Where the willingness is great, the difficulties cannot be great.”

#8 – “One who deceives will always find those who are willing to be deceived.”

#7 – “The first method for estimating the intelligence of a ruler is to look at the men he has around him.”

#6 – “It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.”

#5 – “If an injury has to be done to a man it should be so severe that his vengeance need not be feared.”

#4 – “He who wishes to be obeyed must know how to command.”

#3- “Never was anything great achieved without danger.”

#2 – “The wise man does at once what the fool does finally.”

#1 – “When you disarm the people, you commence to offend them and show that you distrust them either through cowardice or lack of confidence and these opinions generate hatred.”

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Top Ten Quotes from “The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” by Robert Louis Stevenson

#1 – “With every day, and from both sides of my intelligence, the moral and the intellectual, I thus drew steadily nearer to the truth, by whose partial discovery I have been doomed to such a dreadful shipwreck: that man is not truly one, but truly two.”

#2 – “There comes an end to all things; the most capacious measure is filled at last; and this brief condescension to evil finally destroyed the balance of my soul.”

#3 – “The most racking pangs succeeded: a grinding in the bones, deadly nausea, and a horror of the spirit that cannot be exceeded at the hour of birth or death. Then these agonies began swiftly to subside, and I came to myself as if out of a great sickness. There was something strange in my sensations, something indescribably sweet. I felt younger, lighter, happier in body; within I was conscious of a heady recklessness, a current of disordered sensual images running like a millrace in my fancy, a solution of the bonds of obligation, an unknown but innocent freedom of the soul. I knew myself, at the first breath of this new life, to be more wicked, tenfold more wicked, sold a slave to my original evil and the thought, in that moment, braced and delighted me like wine.”

#4 – “I have been made to learn that the doom and burden of our life is bound forever on man’s shoulders; and when the attempt is made to cast it off, it but returns upon us with more unfamiliar and more awful pressure.”

#5 – “I feel very strongly about putting questions; it partakes too much of the style of the day of judgement. You start a question, and it’s like starting a stone. You sit quietly on the top of a hill; and away the stone goes, starting others; and presently some bland old bird (the last you would have thought of) is knocked on the head in his own back garden, and the family have to change their name. No, sir, I make it a rule of mine: the more it looks like Queer Street, the less I ask.”

#6 – “This was the shocking thing; that the slime of the pit seemed to utter cries and voices; that the amorphous dust gesticulated and sinned; that what was dead, and had no shape, should usurp the offices of life. And this again, that that insurgent horror was knit to him closer than a wife, closer than an eye; lay caged in his flesh, where he heard it mutter and felt it struggle to be born; and at every hour of weakness, and in the confidence of slumber, prevailed against him, and deposed him out of life.”

#7 – “It is one thing to mortify curiosity, another to conquer it. ”

#8 – “I learned to recognize the thorough and primitive duality of man; I saw that, of the two natures that contended in the field of my consciousness, even if I could rightly be said to be either, it was only because I was radically both.”

#9 – “All human beings, as we meet them, are commingled out of good and evil: and Edward Hyde, alone, in the ranks of mankind, was pure evil.”

#10 – “Under the strain of this continually impending doom and by the sleeplessness to which I now condemned myself, ay, even beyond what I had thought possible to man, I became, in my own person, a creature eaten up and emptied by fever, languidly weak both in body and mind, and solely occupied by one thought: the horror of my other self.”

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You’re Dating a Hipster!

Ladies, were you dating hipsters before it was cool?

Have you dated hipsters before but you doubt we would have heard of them?

Consult this handy BQB Top Ten List to find out if you have dated a hipster.

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My Book is Cheap!

Hey 3.5 cheapskates.

BQB here.  You might remember a month or so ago, I put my “Big Book of Badass Writing Prompts” up to $2.99.

The theory was that perhaps a higher price would attract the eye.  Weird, but sometimes people see a higher price and think, “Well, that sounds awesome!  Give me that!”

At any rate, the experiment failed, so back down to 99 cents I go.  It’s available on the cheap now, if you’re interested.

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