And now, Bookshelf Q. Battler, one of the greatest minds of the Twenty-First Century (but hey, the century is still young) will share his great musings…
#225 – Politeness should come back in style.
#226 – Kung-fu should be a mandatory high school class.
#227 – Is this all just an elaborate attempt to make fun of Larry King?
#228 – Once you have squeezed a pair of DD’s, it’s hard to go smaller.
#229 – Napkins are fancy paper towels.
#230 – I’m going to change for the better…tomorrow.
#231 – Pumpkins are delicious all year long, not just October.
#232 – I should be nicer and count my blessings.
#233 – I bet you $100 I can quit gambling anytime I want.
#235 – I like the smell of my own farts. I would spend all day in my own personal fart cloud if I could.
#236 – Firecrackers are just explosive devices on a smaller scale.
#237 – Does God ever pray to himself?
#238 – Squash is the only vegetable with a name that tells you how to prepare it.
#239 – Despite what the song says, it is impossible to walk on sunshine. Anyone who tries to walk on the sun would burn up. No one could ever get close enough to even try.
#240 – The word “moist” turns vaginas dry.
#241 – Memories are like the mind’s reruns.
#242 – Never befriend a shark.
#243 – I wonder if anyone has ever glued their nads to their leg before. In the entire history of glue, surely it has happened once. Why the alleged nad gluer put glue on his nads is anyone’s guess.
#244 – I miss rotary phones. Old fashioned? Yes, but no one was ever butt dialed with a rotary phone.
#245 – I’ve never seen the inside of my own butt so I can’t confirm its existence.
#246 – Leprosy is not a good time.
#247 – Oh boy. Another superhero movie.
#248 – Change the subject and change your mind.
#249 – Any reality TV show camera crew that follows me around all day would be very bored.
#250 – No one carries handkerchiefs anymore and they should. It’s sad. People of the past cared a lot more about booger control than people of today do.