Daily Archives: May 15, 2018

Great Musings of the Twenty-First Century – #126 – 150

And now, Bookshelf Q. Battler, one of the greatest minds of the Twenty-First Century (but hey, the century is still young) will share his great musings…

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#126 – Every office needs a good ficus tree.

#127 – British people call potato chips, “crisps.”  Thank God we freed ourselves from those clowns.

#128 – Florida is a nice place to go when you want to get warm.

#129 – Race cars go fast.

#130 – If you want to befriend a chimpanzee, keep a banana in your pocket.

#131 – Whenever you gamble, you might lose money.

#132 – Fried chicken tastes better boiled.

#133 – Karate is a good skill to learn.

#134 – Jogging is a good way to exercise.

#135 – Plague doctor masks are always fun to wear.

#136 – Water is wet.

#137 – Ugh.  How long are we going to have to pretend Amy Schumer is funny?

#138 – It’s always a good time to have a good time.

#139 – Bunnies eat their vegetables and it shows.  I’ve never seen a sick bunny.

#140 – Just when I think I’m woke, I’ve fallen asleep.

#141 – Macy’s is a good place to shop.

#142 – Jokes are the best when they are funny.

#143 – Crackers are good snacking.

#144 – Whenever I see that “Sun Setter Retractable Awning” commercial, for that company that can build an awning that retracts into your house, I wonder, “Who are these assholes buying this who don’t know how to pitch a tent?”

#145 – Whenever I have a can to open, I can never find a can opener.  Likewise, whenever I have a can opener, I never have a closed can.

#146 – Donkeys are funny small horses.

#147 – If you don’t scratch a sticker, can you still sniff it?

#148 – Tigers are bad pets.

#149 – Traveling is a good thing to do.

#150 – I don’t know what I don’t know.

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