Category Archives: BQB’s Twisted Shorts

BQB on Freebooksy

Hey 3.5 readers.

Just a reminder my book, “The Phone Did It” is super free this weekend, so free that I paid for a listing on Freebooksy, an awesome site that promotes free books when they are indeed, free.

FAQS:

Q – BQB, will I have to pay for your book?

A – No, because it is totes free.

Q – That’s good because I hate paying for stuff.

A – That’s good because I hate earning money for stuff.

Q – Wow! We’re a match made in heaven then.

A – Yes we are.

And look! I was put together in a posting with a free book about what I assume is a crime solving cat, so you could check out this link, get my book for free, get a book about a crime fighting cat for free…look, let’s face it, before you saw this post, your day was going to be bupkus but now? Now you get a free book about an evil phone, a crime solving kitty cat, and plenty of other freebooksy books.

Click on the crime fighting cat and you will see my book a few books down:

Q – BQB, I was just kidding. I hate free stuff. I love to pay for things.

A – Oh, then you shouldn’t click on this link and get a free copy of my book. You should totes wait a few days and buy a copy of my book when it goes back to $2.99. I would hate earning money from the fruits of my labor. I really would.

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GET A FREE WEREWOLF BOOK!

Werewolves. Books. You love them both, now get both…FOR FREE ALL THIS WEEKEND:

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GET A FREE BOOK!

Hey 3.5 readers.

Your old pal BQB here.

You know what is the worst? Paying for stuff.

You know what is the best? Getting free stuff.

My book = free stuff.

So, you should get a free copy.

All this weekend it is free.

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Two Free Books This Weekend!

Hey 3.5 readers.

Your old pal BQB here.

I’m giving away two books for FREE this weekend. That means you don’t have to pay for them.

The first is a collection of my shorts (which are twisted) and the second is the first issue about a superhero who quits.

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GET A FREE BOOK! (IT IS FREE)

Free stuff = good.

Paid for stuff = bad.

My book, The Second Death, is FREE all this weekend.

Ergo, it must be good.

Think about that flawless logic as you get your FREE copy:

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I’m Number One! I’m Number One!

Check it out, 3.5 readers.

My latest twisted short, “The Phone Did It” is number one on Amazon’s free technothriller charts. Thanks to a Freebooksy promo, I gave away approximately 1900 free copies of this book this weekend.

I mean, yeah if people had actually PAID for 1900 copies, I’d have a nice little chunk of change coming my way but let’s not get ridiculous, here. Authors making money in exchange for their labors? Absurd! Absurd, I say!

Anyway, this books is FREE until Tuesday, so do grab your FREE copy and if you’re so inclined, maybe you could even leave a review:

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GET A FREE BOOK!

3.5 readers, this weekend you can get one of my fine books for FREE, which means you don’t have to pay for it. All you do is go and get it for free. Wanna read it? Great. Don’t want to? Hey, maybe you will later. Point is, get it now, for it is FREE.

Do you know how your phone has been trained to show you stuff you’re interested in? Hell, buy one pair of French loafers today and you’ll be seeing ads for French loafers until the end of time.

What if they had a phone that could DO the things you want done, before you even realize you want them done? What if your phone just knows you like French loafers and automatically calculates when you need a new pair and orders them?

What if your phone, capable of impersonating your voice and making all those grunt work calls you hate making, what if your phone, capable of doing actual tasks and making purchases and transactions in your name, took its mandate to fetch whatever its user wants before they know they want it…way too seriously? (Muah ha ha! Cue sinister foreshadowing.)

Grab your free copy of The Phone Did It this weekend on Amazon. Reminder – it is FREE.

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GET A FREE BOOK!

Hey 3.5 readers.

You know, the important things to remember in this brave new world are a) consumers of entertainment should never have to pay anything to be entertained and b) writers and all other entertainers should never make any money whatsoever.

That’s right. Everything should be totes free. FREE, I say! Totes FREE!

I kid. I kid. Writers should make money but alas, we have to put out a lot of FREE stuff first.

Anyway, get this book about a dude who jumps out of a plane only to discover his ripcord has been sabotaged:

AND GET IT FOR FREE!

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I’m Number One! I’m Number One!

Will you look at that, 3.5 readers? A short story by me, BQB, is #1 on Amazon’s free horror short story list this weekend.

Look out, Stephen King. I’m set to outpace you, in like, a thousand years maybe…but still, isn’t that great? Last month, I had a book that was number one in Amazon’s free writing skill reference so I was a master of the English language and now I’m a master of horror.

Now if I could only get to the top of a paid Amazon list. I suppose that takes more doing.

Anyway, get your free copy this weekend.

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Celebrate Easter With a Free Werewolf Book!

Hey 3.5 readers.

For a few weeks now, they’ve been playing this trailer for a horror film – “On the holiest weekend of the year, watch The Unholy.”

And each time it played, I was like, “What idiot thought it was a good idea to release a horror film on one of the happiest, most holy and spiritual weekends of the year? I mean seriously, what dummy is going to go out and sit by himself in a movie theater during a pandemic to watch a horror film on this, the anniversary of our Lord and Savior’s glorious resurrection?

Well, turns out, I was an idiot who set up a free promo for a book about werewolves on Easter weekend. I set it up weeks ago, back in February. You know how we are all then. We still haven’t bothered to look up whether Easter is in March or April yet.

So, listen, grab this free book, will you? You can wait to read it next weekend if you want, but just do your old pal BQB a solid and grab your free copy. Jesus would want you to because he was all about helping people. No, I don’t claim to know what Jesus wanted but I’m just saying, I think he’d want you to have free books.

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