Category Archives: Uncategorized

Dec 25 2014
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Uncategorized

Self Publishing – Thoughts?

bookshelfbattle's avatarBookshelf Battle

I find myself intrigued lately about the idea of self publishing.  It amazes me that the technology is there to write a book, edit it, package it up and distribute it online through Amazon, iBooks, Smashwords, wherever.  My NanoWriMo book, originally started a few weeks ago as a fun hobby, has become a preoccupation – something I’ve been laboring away at and I really don’t want to give it up.

First of all, it is a long way away from being in readable form.  And obviously, I’d like to try the get an agent and find a traditional publisher route first.

But I have to admit, the self publishing possibility is like a security blanket for me.  The idea that if the inevitable rejections come in, I could, at the very least put the book out there and who knows what happens after that but at least I’d be able…

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Sep 12 2014
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Not About Books, Uncategorized

A Nerd’s Eye View on the Ray Rice Scandal

At the outset, let me reiterate – this site is run by a nerd.   In other words, I don’t know much about sports.  So if I say something wrong about football, give me a break, OK?  (By the way, how many tackles are in a home run anyway?)

In the wake of TMZ releasing footage of Ray Rice punching his then fiance (now wife), people are rightly angry at NFL commissioner Roger Goodell.  They want to know what did he know and when did he know it.  Did he see this video when he approved a deal earlier this year that only suspended Rice for two games?  Shouldn’t Rice have been kicked out earlier anyway since there was, at the time, video available that showed him dragging her limp body out of the elevator, and could it not have been surmised, without the footage that made the incident even more “real,” that if a guy is dragging a woman out of an elevator, he must have done something bad?

I think it is great that people are upset.  My only question – what took you all so long?

Ray Rice isn’t the first football player to ever abuse a significant other. He isn’t even the first football player to be accused of committing a crime.   He’s just the first one to do it in front of a camera, thus providing shocking footage that the media can show over and over again.  Other football player scandals seem to come, go, and be forgotten.  Apparently, video tape is required to make a scandal stick.

People like Rice dishonor the game – a game I know nothing about, but hey a lot of other people do so there must be something good about it.  For every Ray Rice out there, there are probably a hundred undiscovered players who would a) love a chance at the big time and b) not do anything to embarrass/dishonor the NFL if asked to join a team.

Whether it’s Plaxico Burress tucking a gun in his pants or Ray Rice punching his girlfriend, there are just too many replacements available for the NFL to have to worry about dodging and deflecting scandals.  Obviously I don’t know what goes through the mind of the people who run the NFL or the Baltimore Ravens.  I doubt that any of them thought something as sinister as “Hey, no problem Ray, she deserved it after all!”  Rather, I assume they spent more time worrying about losing games due to the loss of a star player, fans getting angry over lost games, lost profits, etc.  Unfortunately for the NFL honchos, this was a situation where morality should have come above winning games and profits.

To keep these scandals from going out of control in the future, the NFL should just make a rule – If a player is charged with committing a felony, he gets suspended.  If, after his trial, he is not acquitted, then he’s fired completely, never to return to the NFL.  Such a rule will give the players clear guidance – if you screw up, there’s no damage control, there’s no hold a press conference and make your battered wife vouch for you, there’s no lackluster apologies – you’re simply out, your football career is over, and that’s it.  It gives the NFL guidance as well – fans are angry you cut a star player?  Tough luck, your hands are tied, the rule requires you to do it.

Notice I said the player has to be acquitted – none of these hire a great lawyer and get the case postponed forever deals where you promise to get counseling and take a class about how to not beat on women.

My opinion, such a rule would put NFL/TEAM leaders, and players alike, on notice.  At the end of the day, the player that screws up should be the one that takes the blame, and others shouldn’t be sucked into it.  It would be great if the NFL was strong enough to not get sucked into a player’s stupidity on its own, but apparently it is not.

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Jul 24 2014
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Uncategorized

Batman Day Carols

Today is Batman Day. No, seriously, it really is. July 23rd has been declared a day to honor the Dark Knight – everyone’s favorite one-percenter crime fighter.

What’s a holiday without a carol? Here’s a couple I whipped up:

Oh Batman Day!

Sung to the tune of Oh, Christmas Tree!

Oh Batman Day! Oh Batman Day!
You never let the Joker get away.
Punch the Penguin, in his stupid face,
Vicki Vale, you will embrace.
Oh Batman Day! Oh Batman Day!
How lovely art thine Batcave!

The Caped Crusader’s Coming to Town

Sung to the tune of Santa Claus is Coming to Town

Oh, you better not cheat! You better not steal!
You better not kill or act like a heal!
The Caped Crusader’s coming to town!

He sees you when you’re naughty
He knows when you’ve been bad
He’ll chase in the Batmobile
His car is really rad!

Oh you better not rob, or make people cry!
You better be good
I’m tellin you why!
The Caped Crusader’s coming to town!

We would have also accepted:

Oh Little Town of Gotham

Silent Bat, Holy Bat

The Little Drummer Bat

Jingle Bells, Batman Smells…but that’s been done before. Can’t take credit for that one.

Robin the Yellow Caped Sidekick

Deck the Cave

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Jul 22 2014
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Quote of the Week, Uncategorized

Quote of the Week – “A Plague on Both Your Houses”

Happy Tuesday, blogmeisters.

It’s time for the Quote of the Week. Like last week’s quote, this one also comes from Shakespeare:

ROMEO tries to break up the fight. TYBALT stabs MERCUTIO under ROMEO’S arm.

PETRUCHIO

Away, Tybalt.

Exeunt TYBALT, PETRUCHIO, and the other CAPULETS

MERCUTIO

I am hurt.
A plague o’both your houses! I am sped.
Is he gone and hath nothing?

BENVOLIO

What, are thou hurt?

MERCUTIO

Ay, ay, a scratch, a scratch. Marry, ’tis enough.
Where is my page? – Go, villain, fetch a surgeon.

Exit MERCUTIO’S PAGE

ROMEO

Courage, man. The hurt cannot be much.

MERCUTIO

No, ’tis not so deep as a well nor so wide as a
church-door, but ’tis enough, ’twill serve.
Ask for me tomorrow and you shall find me a grave man.
I am peppered, I warrant, for this world.
A plague o’both your houses!
Zounds, a dog, a rat, a mouse, a cat to scratch a man to death!
A braggart, a rogue, a villain that fights by the book of arithmetic!
Why the devil came you between us?
I was hurt under your arm.

ROMEO

I thought all for the best.

– William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet

Poor Mercutio – just an innocent guy who got caught up in the middle of the Montague vs. Capulet feud and ended up getting stuck like a pin cushion. Well, scratched like a nickel on a winning lottery ticket would be more precise but as he said, a scratch is enough.

“A plague on both your houses!” Generally, this quote has become an expression used to criticize two warring factions, so hellbent on destroying one another, that they fail to realize that innocents are being hurt in the process.

Seems a bit relevant, given the news as of late, doesn’t it?

Here at bookshelfbattle.com (where the reviews are as awesome as the author’s humilty), I try not to get political. That’s because, whether you’re a Republican, or a Democrat, or a Libertarian, a Green Party member, or even a member of some odd party that thinks America should turn itself over to intergalactic space alien rule, all I want is for everyone to come together and partake in the joy of good literature.

Also, I want your clicks. Your sweet, sweet clicks. Click on a few links while you’re in here, will you? So far my only visitors are my cat and my Aunt Gertrude.

But I digress. There are some news stories that transcend politics. Stories where we can all agree, something really craptacular happened. Such is the case with the downing of Malyasian Airlines Flight MH17 over the Ukraine last week.

Pro-Russian separatists want to break off from the Ukraine and join Russia. Ukraine claims that the separatists aren’t exactly poor farmers turned rebels but rather are trained flunkies of Mother Russia. The passengers of MH17, a bunch of poor, innocent Mercutios, if you will, got caught in the middle of a brutal Civil War. They had nothing to do with the conflict. Most of them were on their way to an AIDS conference. They were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

All signs indicate that the plane was blown up by bumbling pro-Russians who mistook the civilian passenger plane for a Ukranian military plane. The rocket launcher used to blow up the plane isn’t exactly something you can pick up at the 7-11, and training on how to use one can’t be provided at the local community college, so Russia, now suspected of providing the weapon in question, definitely has a lot of explaining to do.

Russia points the finger back at Ukraine – claiming the appearance of a Ukranian fighter jet in the area needs to be explained. All facts need to be accounted for, but so far if the explanations are:

A) The separatists goofed and mistook a civilian plane for an army plane (or worse did it intentionally?)

or

B) The Ukraine government shot down a civilian plane in an elaborate attempt to frame the separatists and garner the world’s sympathy

Then Arkham’s Razor, which dictates that the simplest explanation must be true, yields that A is the safest bet.

It is an understatement of epic proportions to say that Russia and the rebels look bad here. And perhaps “A plague on both your houses” isn’t the most fitting of quotes in this particular situation, as it appears Russia and the Rebels hold the lion’s share of the blame when it comes to this particular tragedy. However, in the long run, if I may dare be sappy – it would be great if somehow all sides could come together and find a way to end the conflict before more innocents are hurt. It probably won’t happen – but it would be great if they could at least find a way to keep Mercutios from being caught in the middle.

We live in a world where it’s possible to beam any TV show you want to your phone. We also live in a world where girls being kidnapped in Nigeria and sold on the black market is a common occurrence.

We live in a world where it’s possible to think of something you want, order it on Amazon, and have it arrive at your house in a couple days. We also live in a world where parts of Iraq and Syria have been taken over by ISIS – a radical group so bad that Al-Qaeda has even basically said, “Whoa, hold on, don’t lump us in with those guys…”

We live in a world where it’s possible to create a website where the proprietor has little to no knowledge of website production techniques – kind of like bookshelfbattle.com, for example. We also live in a world where a long lasting peace between the Middle East and Israel is unlikely.

So much violence has taken over the world. People take sides, throw down their gauntlets, the innocent Mercutios be damned. It’s not my intention to start a debate over who’s wrong and who’s right. I have my views of who’s wrong and right in all these conflicts and I’m sure you do too. All I’m saying is that if the various warring factions of the world can’t to find peace, then maybe they can find a way to at least avoid hurting people who have nothing to do with it.

Wow, the mood got a little too somber in here. Luckily, that’s about as political as bookshelfbattle.com ever gets. Join us next time as we discuss which True Blood vampires are hot and which are not.

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Jul 02 2014
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Not About Books, TV, Uncategorized

Fargo – Oh Hey, That’s a Really Good Show, Dontcha’ Know?

Are there SPOILERS ahead?

Oh yah’, you betcha’ young fella.’

I just finished the last episode of this season’s Fargo on FX. All I can say is, “Wow.”

When I first heard that a Fargo TV show was in the works, I hated the idea. The Fargo film is such a classic and so self-contained that it did not seem like it would be possible to improve onto it or add to it. If you haven’t seen it, you should. The movie follows a scheme by a wimpy, chronically disrespected car salesman played by William H. Macy to stage a fake kidnapping of his wife in order to extort money from his overbearing father-in-law. The kidnappers, one of them played by Steve Buscemi in what I recall to be one of the best performances of his early career, botch things up miserably and well, tragedy ensues. The evildoers are eventually rounded up by unlikely hero Margie, an exceptionally pregnant police officer. Throughout the movie, much fun is poked at the ways of the Northern Midwest, the overly polite manners of the people there, and their tendency to speak in pseudo-Scandanavian accents – “Oh yah,’ dontch’a know?”

Naturally, the Fargo TV series did capture some of the film’s themes. There’s a wimpy disrespected loser, Lester Nygaard, this time played by Martin Freeman. There’s a female police officer, played by Allison Tolman, but she doesn’t get pregnant until the end. Further homages to the film are made here and there, but for the most part, this is not an attempt to remake the movie so much as to tell another crime story set in the greater Fargo area.

The show becomes increasingly shocking – especially towards the end – the Las Vegas elevator scene and the scene where Lester sends his second wife into the shop, well, I’ll let you watch for yourself, but those scenes left my jaw scraping the floor.

I did worry that casting Key and Peele as two bumbling FBI agents might turn the whole show into a joke, but oddly enough, it did work.

Overall, a great show. FX continues to set the bar high in bringing quality entertainment.

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Jun 16 2014
5 Comments
Fantasy, Game of Thrones, Uncategorized

Game of Thrones Season 4 Finale

Let’s face it, folks.

More often than not, many TV shows become stale after a few seasons – the same old plot lines are recycled, the characters get boring and stale, you just eventually give up and eventually the network does too.

Not the case with Game of Thrones, which just keeps getting better and better. In a show where main characters die early and often, usually in tragically unexpected ways, last night’s season finale was satisfying and showed us that just once in awhile, George RR Martin allows bad guys to get their comeuppance and good guys to get their victories.

WARNING – THERE BE DRAGONS, AND SPOILERS, AHEAD. MOSTLY SPOILERS. NOT MANY DRAGONS.

Among last night’s highlights:

Last Minute Save of Castle Black – For once, Stannis finally does something that makes him worthy of the title of King.

Bran Completes His Vision Quest – I’ve never really understood what this whole side plot with Bran, Hodor and the brother and sister wandering around in the frozen wilderness was all about but oh well, at least it’s over.

Brienne vs. The Hound – Heroes of Westeros, for the love of “all the old gods and the new” please finish the job before you start making speeches.

Worst Father’s Day Ever – Tyrion gets his revenge. Tywin finally ends up on…the throne.

These seasons go by so quickly. I wish there were more episodes, but I imagine HBO can’t make too many as the production of each episode is the equivalent of developing a summer blockbuster film. Now all I have to look forward to is True Blood, which pretty much jumped the shark awhile ago.

Jun 12 2014
5 Comments
Fantasy, Game of Thrones, Uncategorized

Attack on Castle Black

Sunday night’s episode of Game of Thrones was, in a word – AWESOME.

Aside from a little bit of dialogue, almost the entirety of the episode was devoted to the wildlings’ attack on Castle Black.  I’ve heard some criticize this, claiming all the action did nothing to move the plot along, but really, what’s wrong with that once in awhile?  I was impressed with this episode as it had special effects normally only seen in a summer movie blockbuster.  Too bad there’s nowhere that shows this show on the big screen.  Movie theaters could clean up by having Sunday night GOT night.

SPOILER ALERT

At the end of the episode, Castle Black was still standing and still in control of the Night’s Watch.  However, the battle for the Wall continues and pits about 100 members of the Night’s Watch (probably less after the battle) vs. thousands of Wildlings, aided by Giants and mammoths (ok, this post might be getting too nerdy).

There were many points in this episode where I thought that George RR Martin was going to be his usual character devouring self – he builds you into thinking a hero will win, then dashes your hopes unexpectedly.  In fact, given the outcome of the battle between the Viper and the Mountain, it would not have surprised me to have seen the entire Night’s Watch obliterated.  (And who knows, that could still happen).

 

Jun 09 2014
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Fantasy, Game of Thrones, Uncategorized

Castle Black Still Stands

I love this show. Tonight’s episode was pretty much entirely devoted to the Wildlings’ attack on Castle Black. I’ve never seen a TV show before where each week’s episode is the equivalent of a summer blockbuster movie.

Jun 05 2014
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Fantasy, Game of Thrones, Uncategorized

Top Ten Predictions for Tyrion Lannister’s Future

He’s our favorite imp – funny, prone to debauchery, and has an uncanny ability to overcome obstacles tossed at him with his wit and cunning.

So what’s next for Tyrion, played by the incomparable Peter Dinklage on HBO’s Game of Thrones.

As you might recall, my prediction for Tyrion’s champion’s success was less than accurate:

The Red Viper vs. The Mountain = The Thrilla in Manila for Nerds #nerdthrillainmanila

Here’s hoping that one of my more positive predictions will be in store for Tyrion:

10.) Tyrion lives. He’s a main character, and after all, main characters always survive, right?

9.) WRONG! This is the George RR Martinverse! This man eats main characters for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Even fan favorite Tyrion is not safe.

8.) Martin does a bait and switch – i.e. something like, Tywin has a change of heart, offers Tyrion a full pardon, and then on the way to pick up his pardon, Tyrion is unexpectedly trampled to death by a pack of runaway horses.

By the way, at this point, knowing what we know of Martin’s predilection towards unexpected main charactericide, should we stop rooting for our favorites altogether? At this point, isn’t it almost inevitable that Dany will be on the verge of conquering Westeros only to eat a piece of bad cheese and die from food poisoning out of left field?)

7.) A tie in a trial by combat means Tyrion is off the hook. No wait, the Mountain did breathe for a second or two before he, well you saw it, before he did what he did to Oberyn, so I suppose that does make him the victor.

6.) Tyrion bribes some corrupt Westerosian to free him.

5.) Jamie frees Tyrion but casts himself out of the family by going against Tywin’s wishes.

4.) Tyrion demands a second trial by combat. Advises second champion – “Stab first, ask questions later.”

3.) Tyrion pleads with the court, “Eh, come on, it was only Joffrey, right?” Jury thinks about it, then starts nodding in agreement and orders the imp to be released.

2.) The Lannisters go to family counseling.

1.) Tyrion racks up a ton of debt. Points out to Tywin he can’t be killed because Lannisters always pay their debts.

May 17 2014
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Uncategorized

This Week on the Shelf – Lone Survivor

If these plastic green army men run into plastic green farmers, what should they do?

If these plastic green army men run into plastic green farmers, what should they do?

So, here’s a hypothetical dilly of a pickle to imagine yourself in fellow Bookshelf Battlers:

Picture you are a member of an elite team of Navy Seals. Your assignment? Capture a terrorist leader hiding out in a mountainous forest region of Afghanistan. Your intelligence tells you that the mission should be a piece of cake, but when you are on the ground, you find quite a different story. The terrorist leader has more men and firepower than expected, and your team would be no match. Going forward with the mission would be suicide. Luckily, the enemy has not spotted you spying on him yet, so you are able to pack it up and begin marching toward an extraction zone to meet a helicopter that will whisk you and your team mates away to safety.

Except there’s one hang-up. While walking through the forest, you and your team bump into couple of farmers. Your team draws their weapons, the herders don’t move.

Here’s the moral dilemma – what do you do?

If you let them go, they will most certainly alert the terrorists of your presence. If you kill them, you’ll get to the extraction point safely, but you risk court martial and imprisonment for killing two defenseless passersby. Even if their deaths are never discovered, YOU will know what you did and that will lead to a lifetime of guilt for you.

We here at the Bookshelf Battle despise spoilers of all shapes and sizes so I’ll let you read the book or watch the recently released Mark Wahlberg movie to find out what the team decided to do, or the resulting aftermath of their decision. I don’t think it gives away anything you didn’t already know by pointing out the title of the book/movie is not called “LONE Survivor” for no reason.

So, what would you do if you were in the position of Marcus Luttrell, the Navy Seal turned author? Would you have let the shepherds go, taken them out, thought of a third option? I deem this a shelf-worthy book due to its ability to get us to ask ourselves questions about our own beliefs and morals. Ultimately, the movie asks us to ask ourselves “If doing the right thing will cause us immeasurable suffering, will we do it anyway?” Sure we can all immediately say yes, but none of us will never really know for sure until we find ourselves in such a position.

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