Hey 3.5 readers.
So it has come to my attention that it is possible to hire a dude on Fiverr who will literally record a video of himself juggling a chainsaw with the name of your website written on the saw.
God bless you, Internet.
At the time of this post, I have 2,068 WordPress followers. When I get to 3,500 I will hire chainsaw man to make a video and post it here.
So…hit that follow button. Tell your friends. 3,500 WordPress followers = super awesome chainsaw juggling video.
Hey 3.5 readers.
Did I mention I’m still a yeti hostage?
I’ve been forgetting to mention that.
The Yeti is still in control of BQB HQ, but that’s not important at the moment.
What’s important is that fact that this exemplary blog is at 1,988 followers.
That means if twelve more people follow me, I’ll be in the big leagues of having 2000 followers.
Even then, I only have 3.5 readers. A lot of people follow but for some reason, only 3.5 people ever read.
So follow me nerds, as I would love to have 2,000 followers by Christmas.
Hey 3.5 readers.
BQB, world’s greatest nerd, here.
Check this out:
My twitter follower count has been hovering between 7980-7990 for awhile now.
Its very annoying. Can you follow me @bookshelfbattle and help me break the 8,000 follower barrier?
Thanks 3.5 readers. Much appreciated.
MEMO
Statistician Jones
TO: Oh Great One, the Awe Inspiring Mighty Potentate, Who Causes All Beings to Quake in Their Boots
FROM: Your Humble Servant, Alien Jones
RE: Bookshelf Q. Battlestats
All Hail the Mighty Potentate! May your ganderflazer’s secretions be copious and frothy until time folds over on itself and the totality of universal existence starts all over again!
As requested, an update on your plan to assist Bookshelf Q. Battler become a successful writer, thus stemming the flow of reality programming that threatens your beloved scripted television.
This Friday, May 15, the Summer of Bookshelf begins. Through a carefully plan series of hypnotic mind control experiments, I have convinced our noble blog host to provide a summer’s worth of serialized stories, in the hopes that he can find more than 3.5 readers.
“The State of the Bookshelf” as of May 13, 2014:
WORDPRESS FOLLOWERS: 969 (Ha! 69! I’m sorry, Mighty Potentate. I must be spending too much time amongst the humans).
TWITTER FOLLOWERS: 4,326
GOOGLE + FOLLOWERS: 377
It is my hope that this summer will help propel Bookshelf Q. Battler’s stats exponentially. Thus, I have asked the humans to do what they can to help as once BQB manages to figure out how to make folding paper money off his drivel, I shall be able to abandon this bogus assignment.
Err…I mean this wonderful opportunity. Yes, all ideas that originate in the mind of the Mighty Potentate are joyous and splendid.
Fear not, Mighty Potentate, for I shall report post-summer stats in the Fall.
Your Humble Servant,
Alien Jones
Alien image courtesy a shutterstock.com license.
Bookshelf Battle 